\"\"
Piano Forum logo

Shyness (Read 2120 times)

Offline theholygideons

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 821
Shyness
« on: July 24, 2013, 06:42:08 AM »
Are there any of you who used to be incredibly shy and antisocial, yet managed to completely overcome it?

I know playing piano and listening to classical music does not help and have turned me into an elitist f@!% nor am I particularly fond of the nuisances of uni life, like getting drunk and wasted while potentially losing hearing from club music.


Offline hfmadopter

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2272
Re: Shyness
«Reply #1 on: July 24, 2013, 09:22:53 AM »
Not 100% no but way different than when I was young. I still don't like night club (or getting drunk) life but enjoy other kinds of social life. I can do easily with two or three decent friends or close associates and family. We are not all meant to be socialites. Yet within my own interests I can be quite forward and able to approach people easy and naturally. That was not always the case. Most of my life I've been one to hang back first and assess. At 63 I don't see that changing soon but I can play piano in front of a large group of people for instance, largely do to training through work shops in my early adult life.

Understand yourself, we are all different, you don't have to fit in a mold by any means !!!!
Depressing the pedal on an out of tune acoustic piano and playing does not result in tonal color control or add interest, it's called obnoxious.

Offline faulty_damper

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3931
Re: Shyness
«Reply #2 on: July 26, 2013, 07:31:47 AM »
Shy, yes.  But it was learned during middle school when everyone else started becoming insecure about themselves.  I couldn't understand why my close friends stopped doing what we did before and didn't understand it until I was a secure adult.  Because fearful of judgement is what caused my shyness.  But now that I'm secure and self-accepting, I'm no longer as shy as I once was but no where near as outgoing as when I was a child.  A lot has to do with the fact that I am incredibly anal and have high expectations of both myself and others.  People who are insecure will be fearful of me so I try to limit my judgement of others.

Offline ted

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3677
Re: Shyness
«Reply #3 on: July 26, 2013, 11:20:38 AM »
Taking an honest interest in, and curiosity about, the thoughts and activities of other people helps. Most people welcome such enquiries and it is superior to making small talk just for the sake of saying anything. I don't mean nosy, personal questions but intelligent ones which open possibilities of some objective depth and which have no emotional connotation. Don't try to make an impression, positive or negative, appear smart, or feign knowledge you do not possess though; just be yourself.

I was painfully reserved when young but years of having to converse, work and mix with a very wide range of people in the course of my work duties cured it naturally over time. I still detest crowds though, and even moderately large gatherings are unpleasant for me. Performing, or being the centre of attention I find very harrowing. I don't think I can change those things at sixty-five but I've come a long way from taking circuitous routes to avoid people in the street, as I did in my teens.
"We're all bums when the wagon comes." - Waller

Offline chopin2015

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2135
Re: Shyness
«Reply #4 on: July 27, 2013, 03:33:20 AM »
 

Dude, I hate alcohol! I don't find much fun hanging around people who's idea of a good time is drinking with strangers or at a loud bar. I hate people who listen to music loud and watch tv loud and I hate rock concerts. And loud Diesel trucks!!
 But worst of all are people who yell instead of talking! The lady I work with gets right next to my good ear and talks extremely loud and yells! I feel like a part of me dies, every time she does. I had 2 ear surgeries in the other ear, and a 3rd one coming up. It really hurts so much when other people cause the pain, not my own fault yet it is my personal problem. Don't you see me grabbing my ears in pain when you talk?! Do you not give a **** about your co-worker you often rely on??

But the actual problem is that when I say something, I seem like a jerk...People say "Geez, the world does not revolve around you and your ears". Well, the world doesn't revolve around your first-world needs, either! If you gotta turn it up that loud, then maybe you should get a hearing aid, you idiot! :)

And one other thing. I was holding my ears in pain because a biker was blasting his music on his loud, stupid bike. He saw me suffering, and he began to rev his engine even louder and louder, until I was pressed up against the wall of the store I just left, and curled up in a ball (this was just a few days after my 2nd ear surgery...) People are just the worst! Why would I want to hang around people of average intelligence, who can't even observe the impact they have on people?! Self-absorbed jerks! I am not the socially awkward one. People who are too stupid to learn how to act around different people, people who can't sense what social setting they are in and adjust, nor can they read if a person is affected by their presence or their actions!! 

 And even worse, people who act like they care when they really just say that to be nice. When their happiness aka favorite volume level to watch family guy at is jeopardized....then they say I am bringing them down and ditch me!!
 :'(


 
"Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice."

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4871
Re: Shyness
«Reply #5 on: July 27, 2013, 03:39:38 AM »


Dude, I hate alcohol! I don't find much fun hanging around people who's idea of a good time is drinking with strangers or at a loud bar. I hate people who listen to music loud and watch tv loud and I hate rock concerts. And loud Diesel trucks!!
 But worst of all are people who yell instead of talking! The lady I work with gets right next to my good ear and talks extremely loud and yells! I feel like a part of me dies, every time she does. I had 2 ear surgeries in the other ear, and a 3rd one coming up. It really hurts so much when other people cause the pain, not my own fault yet it is my personal problem. Don't you see me grabbing my ears in pain when you talk?! Do you not give a **** about your co-worker you often rely on??

But the actual problem is that when I say something, I seem like a jerk...People say "Geez, the world does not revolve around you and your ears". Well, the world doesn't revolve around your first-world needs, either! If you gotta turn it up that loud, then maybe you should get a hearing aid, you idiot! :)

And one other thing. I was holding my ears in pain because a biker was blasting his music on his loud, stupid bike. He saw me suffering, and he began to rev his engine even louder and louder, until I was pressed up against the wall of the store I just left, and curled up in a ball (this was just a few days after my 2nd ear surgery...) People are just the worst! Why would I want to hang around people of average intelligence, who can't even observe the impact they have on people?! Self-absorbed jerks! I am not the socially awkward one. People who are too stupid to learn how to act around different people, people who can't sense what social setting they are in and adjust, nor can they read if a person is affected by their presence or their actions!! 

 And even worse, people who act like they care when they really just say that to be nice. When their happiness aka favorite volume level to watch family guy at is jeopardized....then they say I am bringing them down and ditch me!!
 :'(


 

Dude make a dialogue!!!  It would be soo good!!!

Ready for that recital tomorrow?  What time is it?  And record it!
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline chopin2015

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2135
Re: Shyness
«Reply #6 on: July 27, 2013, 05:19:52 AM »
Dude make a dialogue!!!  It would be soo good!!!

Ready for that recital tomorrow?  What time is it?  And record it!

OK, I will tomorrow, after the recital.

I am as ready as I am going to be...haha! It is gonna be aiight thought. You ready? 

I think it is going to be recorded, si.

ttyl
"Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice."

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

  • PS Silver Member
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4871
Re: Shyness
«Reply #7 on: July 27, 2013, 01:45:02 PM »


I am as ready as I am going to be...haha! It is gonna be aiight thought. You ready? 

I think it is going to be recorded, si.

ttyl

If I get through the first piece, I'm home free.

Yeah I'm recording mine as well.
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline the_fervid_pig

  • PS Silver Member
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 211
Re: Shyness
«Reply #8 on: July 27, 2013, 03:19:31 PM »

And one other thing. I was holding my ears in pain because a biker was blasting his music on his loud, stupid bike. He saw me suffering, and he began to rev his engine even louder and louder, until I was pressed up against the wall of the store I just left, and curled up in a ball (this was just a few days after my 2nd ear surgery...) People are just the worst! Why would I want to hang around people of average intelligence, who can't even observe the impact they have on people?! Self-absorbed jerks! I am not the socially awkward one. People who are too stupid to learn how to act around different people, people who can't sense what social setting they are in and adjust, nor can they read if a person is affected by their presence or their actions!! 


He did read how you were affected though, that's why he revved his engine, nothing to do with not learning or observing, just being a moron.

Maybe your co worker doesn't realise they're talking loud, or maybe it's a frequency thing, some people are just shrill.

Must say though I kind of like loud music, but it's a long time since I went to a rock concert....

Currently learning:
Mendelssohn 19/6           Chopin 28/4
Satie Je Te Veux            Rach C#m
Poulenc Bal Fantome       Chopin 28/20
Schubert Serenade         Chopin 15/3
Chopin 10/9