Everyone thinks I'm freaking gay!!!!

[rachmaninoff_forever]

I am SOOO mad!  And it's not that I'm mad, it's that I'm MAD

Everyone thinks that I'm ducking gay!!!

So this was the second to the last straw.  Because you should get a warning before it's the last straw.  So ANYWAYS, this is how it is...

*at work*

Coworker:  hey come over here.

Me:  yeah?

Coworker:  closer

*pulls my collar and is about to whisper something in my ear.  I wonder what could it possibly be!

Coworker:  do you think our supervisor is cute?  *guy*

Me:  ...
...
...

The whole planet:...

Me:  I'm not gay.

Her:  whaaaaaat I thought you were gay?!

Me: *** you I'm not *** gay!!!!  You have a terrible gaydar!!!  *** you!!!

* of course I flip the *** out because everyone thinks I'm gay until I tell them I'm not.

Her:  well if people think you're gay it's okay you know...

*now this really gets on my nerves*

Me:  NO IT'S NOT YOU pregnant dog!!!!!!   *** you!!!

*she feels guilty and I feel good going off on her*



I don't understand how the heck people think that?!  I'm not freaking gay!

[nyiregyhazi]

I am SOOO mad!  And it's not that I'm mad, it's that I'm MAD

Everyone thinks that I'm ducking gay!!!

So this was the second to the last straw.  Because you should get a warning before it's the last straw.  So ANYWAYS, this is how it is...

*at work*

Coworker:  hey come over here.

Me:  yeah?

Coworker:  closer

*pulls my collar and is about to whisper something in my ear.  I wonder what could it possibly be!

Coworker:  do you think our supervisor is cute?  *guy*

Me:  ...
...
...

The whole planet:...

Me:  I'm not gay.

Her:  whaaaaaat I thought you were gay?!

Me: *** you I'm not *** gay!!!!  You have a terrible gaydar!!!  *** you!!!

* of course I flip the *** out because everyone thinks I'm gay until I tell them I'm not.

Her:  well if people think you're gay it's okay you know...

*now this really gets on my nerves*

Me:  NO IT'S NOT YOU pregnant dog!!!!!!   *** you!!!

*she feels guilty and I feel good going off on her*



I don't understand how the heck people think that?!  I'm not freaking gay!

Well, you've obviously got big issues about it. Living in denial? Those who are comfortable in themself would usually see the funny side rather than throw a borderline-homophobic fit about it.

[ahinton]

Well, you've obviously got big issues about it. Living in denial? Those who are comfortable in themself would usually see the funny side rather than throw a borderline-homophobic fit about it.

Indeed. And in any case I doubt that Valentina thinks that he is...

Best,

Alistair

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Well, you've obviously got big issues about it. Living in denial? Those who are comfortable in themself would usually see the funny side rather than throw a borderline-homophobic fit about it.

Well I'm not homophobic.

The problem is that if I like someone or vice versa, she thinks that I'm gay and won't be interested.

During the beginning of the school year I thought it was funny but now it's getting ridiculous.

[oxy60]

Well I'm not homophobic.

The problem is that if I like someone or vice versa, she thinks that I'm gay and won't be interested.

During the beginning of the school year I thought it was funny but now it's getting ridiculous.

Every gay guy I've known thinks that every guy they meet "could" be gay. That whisper act was just an exploration to see "if."

You're going to get these "come on's" for the rest of your life, even after you aren't cute.

[faulty_damper]

People used to think I was gay because I acted and spoke effeminately.  People don't think that anymore because I've learned to act differently in different company.  Men and women talk differently so when I'm in the company of males, I speak like a man.  In the company of females, I may or may not speak like a man depending on how much they adhere to gender norms.  If women are sexist, they expect men to act manly.  I try not to interact with sexist women much.  Black women are very overtly sexist while white women tend to hide their sexism.  Asians aren't very sexist at all.

And gays do think all men are gay unless proven otherwise.  It's a way to not pass up an opportunity considering that only 1% of men are gay.

[thalbergmad]

I am gay and proud of it.

Thal

[Bob]

Wait a few years.  If you don't get married, your parents will start doing that too.

[yohankwon]

homosexuality is GAYYYYYYYY

[ahinton]

I am gay and proud of it.

Proud of what? if I may ask...

Best,

Alistair

[oxy60]

Even though I am not gay I circulate freely in the Tenderloin and the Castro. I learned to not send certain signals and not say certain things. I will not elaborate because things have changed in the world of Pride.

[Bob]

*Bob puts eye drops in his eyes... and is proud of it.*

[theholygideons]

Don't sweat rach_4evs, people, including my cousin and a longtime friend of mine thought I was gay because of my insecurity as an introvert and my lack of confidence speaking. Have you ever thought to yourself whether your actions and behaviours best reflect your true character and the persona you intend to project? Congruence, not only in what you say, but also in one's body language, is of great importance, as it avoids the case of sending mixed signals to others, which may be interpreted as you being gay. AHAHA!!!


what! thalberg's gay? run!!! Are you sure you're gay? or perhaps just asexual.

[faulty_damper]

Proud of what? if I may ask...

Best,

Alistair

Yeah, proud of what?  Something you have absolutely no control over?  Be proud that you can play the piano well since you had to put in the time and effort for it, but don't be proud of things you have no control over.

[gvans]

I am gay and proud of it.

Thal

Whatever. It's this Schumann-hating thing of yours that is so, so very weird. He went crazy. He's long dead. Let the poor guy--and his work--rest in peace. If some people like his music, deal with it, and spare us from your negativity.

Promote your obscure, long-forgotten, never-recognized composers, that's fine. Some of them are, without a doubt, quite good. Just leave poor Robert--and his mangled finger--alone. Let him decompose in peace.

[thalbergmad]

I had completely forgotten about Schumann and now you have reminded me.

Thanks

Thal

[cabbynum]

I had completely forgotten about Schumann and now you have reminded me.

Thanks

Thal

I'm not a huge fan of Schumann either. Can't put my finger in why.
All though I do love his orchestral works, I just find his piano writing a little lacking. But It's just my opinion. Music is wonderful. I can hate someone's favorite composer and it's perfectly legit.
And they can hate mine, many peopele do actually.


On the whole gay thing, just brush it off. Ignore them, plenty of people have thought I was gay. It's just part of life. No one goes there whole life without being thought of as gay atleast once.
Worst you can is flame all over them. That cements the original assumption.

It doesn't help that I prance around in a speedo 3 days a week...
 

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Yeah, proud of what?  Something you have absolutely no control over?  Be proud that you can play the piano well since you had to put in the time and effort for it, but don't be proud of things you have no control over.

Whenever I say that everyone attacks me. 

WHY the heck would I be proud of something that happened by chance?

I'm happy to be black, but not proud.

However, I'm proud to be able to solve a rubik's cube.

[cabbynum]

Whenever I say that everyone attacks me. 

WHY the heck would I be proud of something that happened by chance?

I'm happy to be black, but not proud.

However, I'm proud to be able to solve a rubik's cube.

I'm happy to have hands, I'm not proud of it.


However I am proud of.... Well nevermind.

Just don't make a big deal of it.

[emill]

I am SOOO mad!  And it's not that I'm mad, it's that I'm MAD

Everyone thinks that I'm ducking gay!!!   . x. x. .x .x. x. x. x. x.. x. x. x.

I don't understand how the heck people think that?!  I'm not freaking gay!   

Well there you are .... try sincerely and genuinely asking yourself why they seem to often mistake you as gay?  Perhaps being in music school is a factor ?  vis-a-vis someone like a military cadet ... I bet if you were in military uniform there will be much fewer "taking you aside to ask if your male instructor was cute"!   

Or you could be effeminate in your actions and manners.  If you were the only male among siblings with several females, there is a stronger chance some of your manners may be effeminate. Or perhaps you momma was the boss in the family or your papa was never at home! .

Anyways, regardless ... why get irritated (although it is 100% your right to)??  Gays are everywhere and socially accepted especially in North America and Europe. It's a no big deal to be mistaken as one... except perhaps if you were in UGANDA, LIBERIA, MALAWI, NIGERIA, CAMEROON and 70+ other countries including many arab states and lately Russia where one could face the prospects of social persecution and jail.

Just look at the fun side of it ....

[faulty_damper]

On the other hand, it's nice that people are more accepting of gays.  There are still a lot of homophobic attitudes and derogatory jokes (even in this thread) that posters don't even realize comes off as homophobic.  If you post homophobic statements, I'm going call you out on it from now on.  I'm tired of this crap.

[emill]

I am gay and proud of it.

Thal

Always thought so .... CONGRATULATIONS for your forthrightness ! ! ! !

  emill

[kakeithewolf]

Do what I do when someone says they think you're gay: laugh in their face and say, "No, I'm not a faggot.".

[cabbynum]

If I've said anything homophobic it was unintentional
I said the speedo thing because I'm also a springboard diver and people at my high school constantly give me crap for that
"Classical piano AND you wear a speedo and do twirls?!" I got asked that almost daily when I was at school. Now I'm homeschooled, for piano.

[kakeithewolf]

I am gay and proud of it.

Thal

This coming from the guy who complained about Faure's music being too effeminate.

[cabbynum]

This coming from the guy who complained about Faure's music being too effeminate.

Not every gay man is effeminate and flamboyant. That's pretty ignorant.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Well there you are .... try sincerely and genuinely asking yourself why they seem to often mistake you as gay?  Perhaps being in music school is a factor ?  vis-a-vis someone like a military cadet ... I bet if you were in military uniform there will be much fewer "taking you aside to ask if your male instructor was cute"!   

Or you could be effeminate in your actions and manners.  If you were the only male among siblings with several females, there is a stronger chance some of your manners may be effeminate. Or perhaps you momma was the boss in the family or your papa was never at home! .

Anyways, regardless ... why get irritated (although it is 100% your right to)??  Gays are everywhere and socially accepted especially in North America and Europe. It's a no big deal to be mistaken as one... except perhaps if you were in UGANDA, LIBERIA, MALAWI, NIGERIA, CAMEROON and 70+ other countries including many arab states and lately Russia where one could face the prospects of social persecution and jail.

Just look at the fun side of it ....

If everyone thinks I'm gay then I have no shot at heterosexual romance.

Well not that I have no shot, but it's harder because everyone thinks that I'm gay.

[cabbynum]

My friend pretended to be gay to get women. Worked great... For a while

[faulty_damper]

Not every gay man is effeminate and flamboyant. That's pretty ignorant.

Yeah, not every gay man is effeminate.  There was a pianist at school who didn't act that way at all and we all thought he was straight until his facebook profile showed he was interested in men.  I questioned whether or not that was a joke but why would a straight man indicate he's interested in men?  I can understand young teens doing that but not adult men.

[pianoman53]

However, I'm proud to be able to solve a rubik's cube.

Sounds a bit gay to me...

[kakeithewolf]

Not every gay man is effeminate and flamboyant. That's pretty ignorant.

You have to realize that that post was partly a jest. But, if there is one thing I've noticed about gay men, it's that they tend to either gravitate towards being effeminate or gravitate towards a penchant for those who are. Though not a set in stone rule, it seems to hold true in more cases than not.

Not that there is anything wrong with being effeminate.

[forte88]

Re: Everyone thinks I'm freaking gay!!!

Maybe coz you act butthurt all the time

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Re: Everyone thinks I'm freaking gay!!!

Maybe coz you act butthurt all the time

No pregnant dog my parents stopped whopping me a while ago.

[nyiregyhazi]

Well I'm not homophobic.

The problem is that if I like someone or vice versa, she thinks that I'm gay and won't be interested.

During the beginning of the school year I thought it was funny but now it's getting ridiculous.

Go and do something about it. Start by listening to this:

https://pickuppodcast.com/2012/01/16/episode-dr-robert-glover-no-more-mr-nice-guy/

It's the basic "friend zone" issue. You'll find a wealth of information about how to stop that happening on PUA forums but that podcast sums it all up perfectly. The man tries to win favour by being all nice. The woman puts the guy down as a friend who she can use to get stuff from but has no interest in him on a sexual level. A guy who sits around complaining about how she doesn't respond to intentions that are never being put out there becomes all the more unattractive to other women too. Being assumed to be gay is pretty much interchangeable with being put down as a nice guy who's a friend but who doesn't even register on their scale of sexual interest.

The thing is, women aren't attracted to guys who hide their emotions. Run it back to the stone age and ask yourself how a guy who never did anything about his attractions would have passed his genes with anything like the same level of success as those who are upfront. Women evolved to be attracted to successful males, not one who are too spineless to show interest openly. What you often see in films where a quiet shy guy somehow pulls a stunner is bullshit. He may occasionally get pulled by an ugly girl who makes a move on him, but beautiful women are seriously unattracted to nice guys who don't display interest in any obvious way. You've got to learn to be more open and direct and stop being the nice guy who just hangs around. You don't need to be a complete dick, but as they explain in the podcast false niceness (used as an attempt to buy a woman's favour and instead of openness about intent) is one of the most unattractive things there is to woman. And apologies for the bluntness, but so is sitting around on the Internet wallowing in self pity about lack of success. Women may have friendly sympathy towards a self-pitying guy but they find it spectacularly unattractive. If you want to get better then instead of venting to a forum of pianists (for the sake of nothing more than letting out some steam), go and learn things that will be genuinely useful to you from the PUA community.

[oxy60]

Go and do something about it. Start by listening to this:

https://pickuppodcast.com/2012/01/16/episode-dr-robert-glover-no-more-mr-nice-guy/

It's the basic "friend zone" issue. You'll find a wealth of information about how to stop that happening on PUA forums but that podcast sums it all up perfectly. The man tries to win favour by being all nice. The woman puts the guy down as a friend who she can use to get stuff from but has no interest in him on a sexual level. A guy who sits around complaining about how she doesn't respond to intentions that are never being put out there becomes all the more unattractive to other women too. Being assumed to be gay is pretty much interchangeable with being put down as a nice guy who's a friend but who doesn't even register on their scale of sexual interest.

The thing is, women aren't attracted to guys who hide their emotions. Run it back to the stone age and ask yourself how a guy who never did anything about his attractions would have passed his genes with anything like the same level of success as those who are upfront. Women evolved to be attracted to successful males, not one who are too spineless to show interest openly. What you often see in films where a quiet shy guy somehow pulls a stunner is bullshit. He may occasionally get pulled by an ugly girl who makes a move on him, but beautiful women are seriously unattracted to nice guys who don't display interest in any obvious way. You've got to learn to be more open and direct and stop being the nice guy who just hangs around. You don't need to be a complete dick, but as they explain in the podcast false niceness (used as an attempt to buy a woman's favour and instead of openness about intent) is one of the most unattractive things there is to woman. And apologies for the bluntness, but so is sitting around on the Internet wallowing in self pity about lack of success. Women may have friendly sympathy towards a self-pitying guy but they find it spectacularly unattractive. If you want to get better then instead of venting to a forum of pianists (for the sake of nothing more than letting out some steam), go and learn things that will be genuinely useful to you from the PUA community.

Well, to a point it might work. However what you do must fit with who you are.

You won't ever stop gay guys from making passes at you, no matter how old you are. Not taking care of yourself won't work either. Women won't go for slobs.

As you start to interact with women, think about how you would like to be addressed and what kind of remarks you would like to hear and talk to them that way. Just don't become a "sister" they can dump all their intimacies on!

[zezhyrule]

I'm gay and everyone thinks I'm straight 

I know them feels bro.

Also I'm totally not proud of it. Any more than I am of being male or white or an American. 

[timothy42b]

chekhov's fish

[kakeithewolf]

I'm gay and everyone thinks I'm straight 

I know them feels bro.

Also I'm totally not proud of it. Any more than I am of being male or white or an American. 

Wear a skirt and no one will think that anymore. (Hence why my love life is probably going to be a pain)

[j_menz]

Wear a skirt and no one will think that anymore.

Yeah, right. 

[cabbynum]

Yeah, right. 

I have a towel that looks like a kilt for when I'm done diving. It gets many laughs and honestly perpetuates the thought of me being gay.

[j_menz]

I have a towel that looks like a kilt for when I'm done diving. It gets many laughs and honestly perpetuates the thought of me being gay.

Perhaps the diamante sporran is a bit much? 

[kakeithewolf]

Yeah, right. 

Maybe plaid is considered too butch to be skirt material.

[j_menz]

Maybe plaid is considered too butch to be skirt material.

Yeah?



You tell her she looks butch.

[joplinfreak]

You try running through the briers and the bushes of the highland wearing pants and you won't have any. Besides man skirts act as camouflage as well, made for the terrain you would be hunting in.

[kakeithewolf]

Yeah?



You tell her she looks butch.

Let me amend my previous statement.

The guy wouldn't have problems with people thinking he's straight if he wore a dress. Or a couple of other things.

[nyiregyhazi]

Well, to a point it might work. However what you do must fit with who you are.

True, but remember that a personality is not set in stone. It can evolve and adapt. Above all, the personality that a person projects when unconsciously trying too hard to please is generally a poor show of their true self. It's the fact that it's not really their true self at all that makes it so unattractive to women. Giving a confident reflection of the true self (rather than putting on a facade in a weak bid to please) is what women find attractive. Although the Neil Strauss (of "The Game") approach is a lot about fakery, the more widely respected approaches are heavily linked in to self improvement and developing a sense of comfort in a stronger self (rather than rote-learning routines to use on women).

[zezhyrule]

The guy wouldn't have problems with people thinking he's straight if he wore a dress. Or a couple of other things.

Except your choice of clothing has no bearing on who you prefer to enter into relationships/have sex with.

[joplinfreak]

What does this have to do with piano anyway? Sorry every one thinks your gay, one must move past the idiocy of todays society and continue on with life. nuff said

[kakeithewolf]

Except your choice of clothing has no bearing on who you prefer to enter into relationships/have sex with.

If only everyone else realized that...

[Bob]

Besides man skirts act as camouflage as well, made for the terrain you would be hunting in.

*Bob keeps a look out for this plaid land....*