Why so much negativity!?

[davidcook1988]

I've been a member of pianostreet for several months and I have to ask...why so much pretentiousness...I struggle to remember a single thread without some d*** feeling the need to put down the OP or ridicule him in some way.

I get that not everyone has perfect communication skills...(myself included!) I've read several posts that have made me think "Oh, surely he mean this, or that...or whatever", but you must know that you're not the only person to have thought this!? So how about a new tactic...if you have something constructive to say, then great, but if not, maybe try not needlessly putting down the poster, instead see a therapist about your superiority complex, please! (Just a suggestion)

p.s One love!

 

[cabbynum]

It's because I we are a dick in real life it has real consequences. Dick on the internet is a lot easier and there aren't any real consequences.

[hfmadopter]

I've been a member of pianostreet for several months and I have to ask...why so much pretentiousness...I struggle to remember a single thread without some d*** feeling the need to put down the OP or ridicule him in some way.

I get that not everyone has perfect communication skills...(myself included!) I've read several posts that have made me think "Oh, surely he mean this, or that...or whatever", but you must know that you're not the only person to have thought this!? So how about a new tactic...if you have something constructive to say, then great, but if not, maybe try not needlessly putting down the poster, instead see a therapist about your superiority complex, please! (Just a suggestion)

p.s One love!

 

Please David, very carefully read your post, how are you doing any better than the accused ? Name calling is negative, suggesting they need counseling is demonstrating a superior attitude, all with an afterthought of Love. And at least they are on topic for the forum ! We have a general discussion forum here at PS.

[lazyfingers]

I agree with the OP. There is simply too much negativity. Even when giving feedback, it is poor form (and violates basic civility) to escape using the excuse that "you wanted feedback, and I am being honest". Nothing is as black as that.

Those that do so, in my opinion, are merely venting their frustrations in real life in a media that affords that anonymity. Things that are said here and how they are said should have the same standard in normal life.

[faulty_damper]

I agree with the OP. There is simply too much negativity. Even when giving feedback, it is poor form (and violates basic civility) to escape using the excuse that "you wanted feedback, and I am being honest". Nothing is as black as that.

Those that do so, in my opinion, are merely venting their frustrations in real life in a media that affords that anonymity. Things that are said here and how they are said should have the same standard in normal life.

You're such a self-righteous hypocrite that you don't know you're a hypocrite.

[lazyfingers]

You're such a self-righteous hypocrite that you don't know you're a hypocrite.

I am not the one people are complaining about....
At least you realise that you are the subject of the topic. And nobody has told me not to comment further. How about you?

[hfmadopter]

I agree with the OP. There is simply too much negativity. Even when giving feedback, it is poor form (and violates basic civility) to escape using the excuse that "you wanted feedback, and I am being honest". Nothing is as black as that.

Those that do so, in my opinion, are merely venting their frustrations in real life in a media that affords that anonymity. Things that are said here and how they are said should have the same standard in normal life.

Perpetuated further by reaction to the negativity, if not over reaction. It's just a forum, if someone rubs you wrong just be still. Let it pass. We don't need 52 messages perpetuating what amounts to a minor infraction in the first place.  The guy likes to talk, big deal. Sometimes it's useful talk sometimes not. Take the useful leave the rest. 52 messages that seem negative just turn into two or three.

[lazyfingers]

Perpetuated further by reaction to the negativity, if not over reaction. It's just a forum, if someone rubs you wrong just be still. Let it pass. We don't need 52 messages perpetuating what amounts to a minor infraction in the first place.  The guy likes to talk, big deal. Sometimes it's useful talk sometimes not. Take the useful leave the rest. 52 messages that seem negative just turn into two or three.

Those who stand by and say nothing... hmmm... maybe it might work for you, but all I see is unchecked negativity that many have commented on. You can't seriously propose that nobody support those who complain because it might inflame the situation or raise it to an overreaction?

It might be a "minor infraction" to you, but what I see here is many have railed against it. It is not as minor as you dismiss it to be.

By the way, constructive criticism isn't about negativity. When someone says ... "I think this sounds better if it is played faster/slower/louder/more rubato/less rubato/etc" is constructive. Someone who says "your playing is poor", or "the quality of your performance was rather poor", "real musicians would do this", "if you would only listen to it, you would agree with me" is not being constructive.

[hfmadopter]

Those who stand by and say nothing... hmmm... maybe it might work for you, but all I see is unchecked negativity that many have commented on. You can't seriously propose that nobody support those who complain because it might inflame the situation or raise it to an overreaction?

It might be a "minor infraction" to you, but what I see here is many have railed against it. It is not as minor as you dismiss it to be.

By the way, constructive criticism isn't about negativity. When someone says ... "I think this sounds better if it is played faster/slower/louder/more rubato/less rubato/etc" is constructive. Someone who says "your playing is poor", or "the quality of your performance was rather poor", "real musicians would do this", "if you only would listen to it, you would agree with me" is not being constructive.

 Your two cited messages above about the pianist who played below par are the same in the end. The pianist is playing below par. One way could be taken as getting it rubbed in your face, the other as nice but in the end it was below par. Take the message away, leave the rest on the table and move on to correcting the issue you probably asked about.. In the big picture it really is nothing, Nothing. except people let their feathers get ruffled.

[lazyfingers]

Your two sited messages above about the pianist who played below par are the same in the end. The pianist is playing below par. One way could be taken as getting it rubbed in your face, the other as nice but in the end it was below par. Take the message away, leave the rest on the table and move on to correcting the issue you probably asked about.. In the big picture it really is nothing, Nothing. except people let their feathers get ruffled.

You still don't get what it is about being constructive. The "criticism" part of that phrase isn't meant to have a negative connotation. It is not about being "below par" as if there was some absolute measure by which to judge which so happens to be yours.

But I will leave you to your opinion, and I'm not alone in my opinion as is evidenced by the many voices.

You  might wish to "move on", but apparently the tone of the place has been compromised. Don't just take my view... just look at what others are saying is happening to the auditioning room.

[faulty_damper]

You don't get it, Lazy.  If I were to go through your 95 posts, a number of them are off-topic to attack someone, both explicitly and implicitly.  You continually make attacks while all this member did was provide feedback on topic.  In contrast, you derail the thread by making these attacks.  (This is trolling, btw.)  Further, you believe that as long as an opinion is popular that it is right.  A thousand lemmings can't possibly be wrong, just like a thousand racists, sexists, homophobes cannot possibly be wrong.  Before you continue on your tirade, you should at least think about what you're railing against when you are actually initiating it, derailing threads, trolling, and making this forum very much the negative place you dislike.  If you simply stayed on topic, and payed attention to what is said instead of who says it, you may learn something. 

[keypeg]

You don't get it, Lazy.  If I were to go through your 95 posts, a number of them are off-topic to attack someone, both explicitly and implicitly.  You continually make attacks while all this member did was provide feedback on topic.  In contrast, you ....

Tell you what.  We come to the forum to read about music, piano playing, get help or help each other.  Group suggestions that might help us do these things more smoothly like the one posted by the OP are also nice to read.  But there is NO interest for the group in reading one person criticizing another person, either way.  Why don't you guys continue this in PMs?  Let's stick with ideas and information.  Thx.

[in31l]

I thought a piano forum would be different. I'm on a couple other forums (general ones, hip-hop ones, gaming ones), and I see the cynicism there, but it doesn't surprise me. I came here expecting people to be generally articulate, passionate, and understanding. However, the negativity, self-righteousness, and pretentiousness here is, dare I say, worse than anywhere else I visit. It's kind of disappointing.

[hfmadopter]

I thought a piano forum would be different. I'm on a couple other forums (general ones, hip-hop ones, gaming ones), and I see the cynicism there, but it doesn't surprise me. I came here expecting people to be generally articulate, passionate, and understanding. However, the negativity, self-righteousness, and pretentiousness here is, dare I say, worse than anywhere else I visit. It's kind of disappointing.

It's a very helpful place if you just put the negative posts aside. There has been a lot of great information put forth within these pages. On another note negativity is in human nature, you will find it everywhere you go. It takes effort to rise above it because it comes so naturally and we automatically fall into it when it's presented to us otherwise. Why do you think the news on TV is filled with all the bad stuff? It sells. But it doesn't have to be that way, don't participate in it, it's that simple.

A very wise man once told a person who had been attracted to a gang life and was being plagued by gang members and constantly badgered on his cell phone by them when he no longer wanted any part of the evil and negative lifestyle. The wise man said, turn off the phone and come to our bible study. 7 bible studies later the X gang man was no longer plagued by the gang because he didn't participate, left the phone off and he found a new path. It broke the perpetuation. No more fuel added to the flames.

Here , each person who responds to a negative post is just adding fuel to the flames taking the entire message off topic, sometimes for multi pages. Let it rest, stay on topic. In all likelihood it was just an abrasive reply but at least it was on topic. As far as I'm concerned that's better for the forum than one or two peoples ruffled feathers taking the whole thread off topic. Ok the guy gave his pointed opinion, now I will read the next response and what do we find, no further information but an argument instead. Well isn't that rather Stupid, somebody got sucked right into that naturally negative nature of man kind instead of thinking their way out of it.. I'm telling you guys , put it aside, essentially don't turn on the cell phone and watch the place clean up. You will see about two or three very opinionated posts in each topic instead of a bunch of derailed topics. What's that, you say we are letting the offender prevail ? No don't take that view, take the view that we have more on topic messages automatically , so everyone prevails, everyone gains.

[hardy_practice]

Bible study!?  Some of the worst offenders are religious nuts!

[pianoman53]

You don't get it, Lazy.  If I were to go through your 95 posts, a number of them are off-topic to attack someone, both explicitly and implicitly.  You continually make attacks while all this member did was provide feedback on topic.  In contrast, you derail the thread by making these attacks.  (This is trolling, btw.)  Further, you believe that as long as an opinion is popular that it is right.  A thousand lemmings can't possibly be wrong, just like a thousand racists, sexists, homophobes cannot possibly be wrong.  Before you continue on your tirade, you should at least think about what you're railing against when you are actually initiating it, derailing threads, trolling, and making this forum very much the negative place you dislike.  If you simply stayed on topic, and payed attention to what is said instead of who says it, you may learn something. 

And you seem to be of the idea, as long as it's unpopular it's right.
How about just accepting that people have different opinions than you, and let us losers and amateurs and idiots be just that? Then, you can be the great genius that you are, without having us low-lives to try to ruin it, with our popular opinions.

[hfmadopter]

Bible study!?  Some of the worst offenders are religious nuts!

Yes, some can be that but not all.  How quick you were to state the negative side though, automatic reflex.  It is everywhere, it's in our nature . To not react that way takes effort.

[m1469]

I admit that I had believed (or still do?) that musicians in general were unspokenly defined, more or less, as individuals who were conscious of a deep(er) sense of natural Harmony in life.  I had believed that being a musician was not just a surface decision made by a human being, but that being a musician was a kind of admission to oneself and to the world that their own concept of the world inherently included a type of perception of Harmony that caused them to be musicians.  I don't mean Harmony at this moment in the sense that there is never dissonance, but rather that musicians see an innerworking between consonance and dissonance that results in a higher Harmony than merely two concordant sounds (and a higher purpose in dissonance than negativity for the mere sake of bringing someone or something down).  And, I had believed that this higher perception would cause an inner pull within a musician towards connecting with other individuals, especially other musicians, in a way that recognized and affirmed this higher Principle.  And that a musician was an individual who naturally, as well as in conscious effort, was capable of seeing this Principle in all people and all things.  I believe(d) that musicianship was somehow higher than simply living in or being stuck within a stagnate, human mire, and that it somehow reflected, caused, or meant a unique freedom and liberty of the soul that was more than a human escape, but rooted in a greater Reality.

[brogers70]

I agree that it's possible to ignore the negativity and find some useful things here. Still, over the past few years there've been a few folks with very negative attitudes who post a lot and seem to manage to poison the atmosphere a bit. You can ignore them, yes, but it just makes this place less enjoyable to browse, maybe not as bad as a discussion forum on abortion or religion, but still, after a point the bad outweighs the good.

[dima_76557]

after a point the bad outweighs the good.

Well said, and if we care about this place, then we cannot "simply ignore" it because

To suppress a truth is to give it force beyond endurance.

[faulty_damper]

It's interesting that some people find ideas and opinions that they disagree with and react in such a negative manner.  Then they accuse the person who expressed that opinion of various numbers of things, attacking him in all sorts of manners, all while maintaining the holy high ground and adding nothing further to the topic.  Dogma can be a b*tch.  So can a dog.  I make my arguments very clear so if you disagree, say so and back it up with some kind of evidence.  This would actually further the discussion of the topic, advance our collective knowledge, instead of turning into a one-sided flame war.

The problems aren't solely on the members.  Part of the problem is the moderation here.  There isn't any.  It takes days for administrative action to happen, if at all.  Certain members can perpetually make harassing statements, cuss, make rude and snide remarks, post pictures with clever insulting remarks on them, etc. which all promote this negativity.

I got a message from NilsJohan a short while back and he quoted this forum rule:

"Take the "Be Polite" rule very seriously! While debating and discussion is fine, we will not tolerate rudeness, insulting posts, personal attacks or purposeless inflammatory posts. Any member who is intentionally unpleasant or disruptive may be banned without warning. As a general rule of thumb do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you are typing up a response you feel is clever and spiteful, rethink your post."

What's the problem with having rules if they aren't enforced?  As well, you can't even find the rules anywhere on the forum.  You'll have to do some digging and it's not obvious that the rules should be found under that tab.  You can quickly find it in a search, however.

Anyway, since we should not expect any kind of moderation in any time in the near future, (I think there was even a thread about having moderators), it's up to us to keep the peace.

[hardy_practice]

Yes, some can be that but not all.  How quick you were to state the negative side though, automatic reflex.  It is everywhere, it's in our nature . To not react that way takes effort.

You mean there's a positive side to religion?  That's not what I get in the news.

[dima_76557]

I make my arguments very clear so if you disagree, say so and back it up with some kind of evidence.

1) Unfortunately, I can't find any "arguments" and or "evidence" against statements like "Rachmaninoff, Horowitz, Gould, etc. had crappy technique". The rest of the classical world seems to think otherwise but you just won't accept that as a given. When you are then asked to show us what the standard should be, you chicken out.

2) As for the other "lessons" we are supposed to learn from your frequent off-the-mark Audition Room comments; I've had it with them. I'm simply going to boycott that section of the forum since you refuse to comply yourself with the "do-unto-others-as-you-would-have-them-do-unto-you" rule you quoted.

P.S.: You probably find it imperceivable that Nils was referring to YOU when he quoted the rules, right? (this is a rhetorical question, so there's no need to answer it)

[faulty_damper]

1) Unfortunately, I can't find any "arguments" and or "evidence" against statements like "Rachmaninoff, Horowitz, Gould, etc. had crappy technique". The rest of the classical world seems to think otherwise but you just won't accept that as a given. When you are then asked to show us what the standard should be, you chicken out.

Again, there are certain things that don't need justification because they are common opinion.  Why is it common? Because it's already understood that teachers would never allow their students to sit so low and yet they do.  Go ahead and try doing so.  You'll know exactly what most teachers and pianists already know.  Saying that they can do it is idol worship because they are somehow "special".  They were humans, the same as you and I.

2) As for the other "lessons" we are supposed to learn from your frequent off-the-mark Audition Room comments; I've had it with them. I'm simply going to boycott that section of the forum since you refuse to comply yourself with the "do-unto-others-as-you-would-have-them-do-unto-you" rule you quoted.

They were never off the mark.  If you read them with open eyes, you'll read that it was always about the music.  You just happen to disagree with it.

As well, why would you think that the kind of comments I want are, "that's great", "wonderful performance", etc.?  I never take these comments seriously in real life and hate showing my work because I dread them.  (I do very good work, btw, so I get these kinds of comments almost exclusively.)  These comments only stroke the ego, when the only ones I care for are the ones that help me improve.  A person who tells me that they (genuinely) disliked it is far more valuable than any positive comment.  That person may not be knowledgeable about the craft to express why he disliked it, and even if he were, he may not want to.  It's up to me, as the artist, to figure out why.  Perhaps there were details that I missed that, when taken as a whole, conveyed a meaning that I did not intend.  (For reference, my goal is to make paintings look like photographs, and my photographs to look like paintings.  If you understand this, then you'll know why my standards are far higher than what is commonly accepted.)

P.S.: You probably find it imperceivable that Nils was referring to YOU when he quoted the rules, right? (this is a rhetoric question, so there's no need to answer it)

Why would you think I would think otherwise?  You do realize your entire post was about me.

[dima_76557]

@ faulty_damper

If one's words are no better than silence, one should keep silent.

[cometear]

You're such a self-righteous hypocrite that you don't know you're a hypocrite.

I think we should all learn to love and support. Yes, you can give constructive criticism, but let's add something positive like flowers or honey! So maybe you could smile for once, or something like that

[lazyfingers]

You don't get it, Lazy.  If I were to go through your 95 posts, a number of them are off-topic to attack someone, both explicitly and implicitly.  You continually make attacks while all this member did was provide feedback on topic.  In contrast, you derail the thread by making these attacks.  (This is trolling, btw.)  Further, you believe that as long as an opinion is popular that it is right.  A thousand lemmings can't possibly be wrong, just like a thousand racists, sexists, homophobes cannot possibly be wrong. 

And yet, faulty ... people actually get upset by your posts. I can possibly point out a few, but I suspect everyone has read those already.

Before you continue on your tirade, you should at least think about what you're railing against when you are actually initiating it, derailing threads, trolling, and making this forum very much the negative place you dislike.  If you simply stayed on topic, and payed attention to what is said instead of who says it, you may learn something. 

This thread is about negativity... and that is precisely what I am addressing. I don't what your definition of "on topic" is but it fits my definition.

I do read what is being said ... it just so happens that you take top prize here for writing the most extraordinary stuff, and often lacking in civility.

[lazyfingers]

They were never off the mark.  If you read them with open eyes, you'll read that it was always about the music.  

That's a pretty broad definition, that almost anything will pass.

If you understand this, then you'll know why my standards are far higher than what is commonly accepted.)

And speaking of self-righteousness.....

As well, why would you think that the kind of comments I want are, "that's great", "wonderful performance", etc.?  I never take these comments seriously in real life and hate showing my work because I dread them.  (I do very good work, btw, so I get these kinds of comments almost exclusively.)

Nobody said that constructive criticism is mere flattery. It is saying things in a tactful manner.

[lazyfingers]

Well said, and if we care about this place, then we cannot "simply ignore" it because

+1

[pianoplunker]

I've been a member of pianostreet for several months and I have to ask...why so much pretentiousness...I struggle to remember a single thread without some d*** feeling the need to put down the OP or ridicule him in some way.

I get that not everyone has perfect communication skills...(myself included!) I've read several posts that have made me think "Oh, surely he mean this, or that...or whatever", but you must know that you're not the only person to have thought this!? So how about a new tactic...if you have something constructive to say, then great, but if not, maybe try not needlessly putting down the poster, instead see a therapist about your superiority complex, please! (Just a suggestion)

p.s One love!

 

any time you read what someone posts, you are not reading expression or body language. It is a liability of putting opinions and discussion into text. Many posts  interpreted to have a "bad" attitude could be interpreted in a good way as well if we could see the individual say it. But then there are some that seem stupid to me. Like the ones asking "I am a master, what should I play next ? "  To me that is just as bad as saying someone sucks and does not know anything. So I might respond in a very critical way.. but at the end of the day we get what we pay for. I didnt pay anybody to post anything so I'll take whatever comes and try and participate.

[dima_76557]

Nobody said that constructive criticism is mere flattery. It is saying things in a tactful manner.

That is the underlying problem: Faulty explains constructive criticism as "praise all" mentality, and mistakenly believes that this approach is:

either due to politeness or fear of reprisal.

As long as Faulty doesn't read up on what constructive criticism really is about in terms of Western piano pedagogy, the negativity in the Audition Room will most likely continue unless the Big Boss takes action.

P.S.: Faulty's philosophy works only:
1) in a culture where everybody is a nobody;
2) in a culture where students have no choice: it's either sink or swim.

In such a culture, students will take ANY kind of humiliation. I have said it before: I am pretty sure that Faulty's roots lie exactly in such a culture.

[theholygideons]

That is the underlying problem: Faulty explains constructive criticism as "praise all" mentality, and mistakenly believes that this approach is:
As long as Faulty doesn't read up on what constructive criticism really is about in terms of Western piano pedagogy, the negativity in the Audition Room will most likely continue unless the Big Boss takes action.

P.S.: Faulty's philosophy works only:
1) in a culture where everybody is a nobody;
2) in a culture where students have no choice: it's either sink or swim.

In such a culture, students will take ANY kind of humiliation. I have said it before: I am pretty sure that Faulty's roots lie exactly in such a culture.

The difference between 'us' and faulty damper, is that, unlike Mr. Faultyhead, we give credit where credit is due. When we listen to performances, we take note of any interesting and insightful elements, whether or not it is technically refined as a whole. Therefore, he is not doing himself any favour by only realising what the performer does wrong, instead of both wrong and right equally. 

Mr. Faulty travels with a raincloud over his head, even in doors.  He is his own source of negativity. Let the darkness surround him for good.

He sees piano playing as a means to an end. Anything short of perfect is a failure. Therefore he will never be happy.

mjames, do you agree with me or what?

[pianist1976]

The difference between 'us' and faulty damper, is that, unlike Mr. Faulty fuckface, we give credit where credit is due. When we listen to performances, we take note of any interesting and insightful elements, whether or not it is technically refined as a whole. Therefore, he is not doing himself any favour by only realising what the performer does wrong, instead of both wrong and right equally. 

Mr. Faulty travels with a raincloud over his head, even in doors.  He is his own source of negativity. Let the darkness surround him for good.

How do you dare to talk about the negativity of another person?

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

[cometear]

How do you dare to talk about the negativity of another person?

Have we ever even heard faulty PLAY?

[pianist1976]

Have we ever even heard faulty PLAY?

That has nothing to do with my post. My post was only about how hypocrite is telling someone how negative is while many of his/her post are bitter and insulting.

[cometear]

That has nothing to do with my post. My post was only about how hypocrite is telling someone how negative is while many of his/her post are negative and insulting.

I didn't mean to quote you.

[pianist1976]

I didn't mean to quote you.

Alright 

[dima_76557]

The difference between 'us' and faulty damper, is that, unlike Mr. Faulty ****, we give credit where credit is due.

I don't know if that is really the problem. It is VERY difficult to write anything sensible there without being misunderstood. That's why I usually refrain from commenting there.

I can imagine that someone wants to skip the ceremony of simply being polite, and wants to go to the heart of the matter immediately. Whatever criticism is given, though, people should be able to improve, to grow by what they read on the level that they are on. It must be clear to virtually everybody that a beginning or intermediate amateur deserves an entirely different approach from an already advanced semi-pro because blunt and unjust criticism causes anxiety, a blocking factor for further development. Word choice must be adequate according to every particular situation.

P.S.: I would be in favor of simple "Like"/"Dislike" buttons, linked to the user profiles of the ones who "judge". Any explanations/misunderstandings could be worked out behind the curtains, not in public, where simple and sometimes useful "shame" turns very easily into destructive humiliation.

P.S.: Pianoman53: you did a very good job with your Dante Sonata. Mr. Grubert must be proud of you.

[minimax]

Why so much negativity?

It is just a reflection of a VERY HEAVY load of emotional baggage that people who express it on the forum carry within themselves, and most of them do not have a clue about it (are not conscious of it) and will always deny it. I lived that life some time ago and know it from experience. Pointing that out to them is useless, since they will not listen. Only self-created crisis will change that and that comes sooner or later. There is no escape from it, as that disharmony that they carry in them will cause that to materialize. It is like with an alcoholic who needs to reach the bottom in order to turn his/her life around. Does it mean that they are bad people? Of course not. Everyone’s core being is love, harmony and peace. The rest is just knowingly or unknowingly accumulated habits of behavior which could be dropped if it is self-recognized and understood. Unfortunately for a lot of people that ability comes only when an ego shell is broken by pain. I was one of them. In my case that self-caused pain was a hell to go through, but it was very necessary. I just did not know it at the time. I know it now .

So, what could be done about that negativity? Can we change others?

Any forced in others change will have a short life. It will always backfire. What we can only permanently change is ourselves. The truth is, what bothers us in others, we ourselves carry within. So, if you are bothered by that negativity in the forum you have it in YOU. It is your psyche where it is stored as thoughts and connected with them feelings, but it is not who You are - all of it is acquired and can be disposed off. Places like this forum may be of a great help with removing disharmony from the psyche, because posts of others that trigger that energy within us (as feelings) bring it up from deep inside, so it could be recognized and dropped (if we know how). If we do not see it in us, deny it and let ourselves be taken emotionally by it, we just add to the already heavy load.  On the other hand, if we sufficiently remove negativity from within, we are not bothered any more with any of it outside of us, as there is nothing within that will resonate with it. We are at peace, with joy that has no cause. Then we see more good than bad in others. That joy and peace is always within every human being, covered with garbage that one must consciously remove if he/she wants to live true life. Or one can simply enjoy self-created pleasure and pain. The choice is ours.

P.S.
Should any of you like to find out more about how to deal with the negativity within, please search my previous posts on this forum where you will find references.
Notebook by Jiddu Krishnamurti is a great book for anyone who might be interested in finding out what joy and true life means. The author lived it.