Our son is beginning piano lessons, how do I make this a joy for all?

[bernadette60614]

I play piano and our son has taken both recorder and guitar lessons.  He asked me repeatedly to teach him, and I gave him a couple of lessons using simple "finger numbers."  Finally, after several requests, I agreed to professional lessons.

At the first meeting, he played the one piece I taught him over 2 lessons perfectly from memory.  He also played 4 pieces he had learned on the recorder perfectly on the piano from memory.  So, he seems to have some aptitude.

His teacher uses the Pace method (which I understand from research is a long standing method.)  I'd like to make this a joyful experience for everyone.  So my questions:

.  How can I support his teacher in her teaching?

.  Should I be in the room when he has lessons?

.  Should I enforce practicing or let him practice as he choses?

.  Finally, though I offered, his teacher would not let me pay for the first meet and greet and test the waters.  How to teachers prefer to be paid?  Per lesson, monthly, quarterly?

Thanks everyone!

[j_menz]

How old is he?

[bernadette60614]

12

[m1469]

.  How can I support his teacher in her teaching?

.  Should I be in the room when he has lessons?

.  Should I enforce practicing or let him practice as he choses?

.  Finally, though I offered, his teacher would not let me pay for the first meet and greet and test the waters.  How to teachers prefer to be paid?  Per lesson, monthly, quarterly?

Thanks everyone!

Every teacher is different when it comes to each of these questions, and these would be great questions to ask any specific teacher you will be working with.  I can only answer from my own perspective and experience.

I have been teaching and working with children/individuals in various authority positions (read:  MANY) for a total of about 27 years, and while I have not met every single parent of these children, there are very few of them who did not somehow behave differently -for better or for worse- when a parent was around vs. when they were alone with me.  From here it breaks off into teaching philosophy and what each teacher is seeking.

I currently believe, and only come to believe more strongly, that the growth of a child/individual must be in direct contact with their own desires, and in the case of music (and maybe all subjects?), their imagination.  They *need* to be free to utilize their imagination at the piano, and their ability to do that is a mix between their innate individuality and how they have been taught to behave by family and society.  I believe that utilizing their imagination is a large part of what ultimately makes their endeavors fulfilling for them, and ultimately enjoyable for all, but it's an important teaching tool, too.

Working with an individual's imagination as an ongoing teaching tool is a mixture of structured and "non"structured strategies, and the ultimate support from parents comes from appreciating the sometimes fragile lines between those, and being willing to walk that line in conjunction with the goals at hand.

For example, I have an adult student who has been playing for nearly his whole life and who is a regular school teacher, he is a decent player and could theoretically be teaching his young son, but I am teaching his son instead.  Father would like son to be a "child prodigy" at all costs (that's a small exaggeration but it's definitely been talked about).  Teacher (me), would like to preserve son's imagination first and foremost at all costs, because in this case I have a larger perspective than the father and I am thinking in a different way as a musician than the father.  I am thinking about 18 years down the road, and what it's like for child prodigies to be adjusting to not being child prodigies anymore (something I have a different perspective on than the father), and if this student no longer knows how to utilize his imagination, he lost it along the way, has come to despise the piano, what good is that?  There is more to it, but with just that there are sometimes things for us to discuss after only a few months of teaching them.

In the case I explained above, I have my beliefs, experiences, and I am willing to work with the parents' desires, but if it comes to a point where I feel I am doing an ultimate disservice to the child, I would not cross that line.  In that case, if they disagree with me strongly enough, perhaps they would choose to have a different teacher who is more in line with what they want, and in that case, if I believe I have done what is within my capacity, I would be OK with them moving on.  We are so far working together harmoniously though.  

So - ask the questions to the specific teacher.  Think about what you are wanting.  Be prepared to consider different perspectives and find a match that is right for your expectations.

[j_menz]

12

.  How can I support his teacher in her teaching?

Offer assistance if he asks, but don't try and be a second teacher. You could also discuss this with his teacher to see if she has any opinions/ideas on this.

.  Should I be in the room when he has lessons?

Not unless he specifically asks, and probably not regularly even then.

.  Should I enforce practicing or let him practice as he choses?

This is probably going to be the most controversial point. My advice is to let him practice as he chooses.  It only becomes an issue if you're paying for lessons he's not actually doing anything with.

.  Finally, though I offered, his teacher would not let me pay for the first meet and greet and test the waters.  How to teachers prefer to be paid?  Per lesson, monthly, quarterly?

Period varies, and sometimes method - go with what is asked. That given, just being paid promptly seems to keep them happy.

[bernadette60614]

Thank you.  My thinking is very much along the same lines.  He loves music.....and he has sampled different instruments for different reasons (recorder because it seems to be a requirement and guitar because his best friend was taking the same class.)

I've never urged him to try piano, he just continued to ask.

My philosophy:  I would like music to be a continued source of pleasure for him throughout his life.  I begged my parents for a piano when I was his age, began taking lessons and in very short order, my piano progress became a reflection of my mother's dreams. So, I was imprisoned with the piano 4 hours a day during summer holidays..and when I entered college I quit as quickly as I could.

With that level of pressure, it wasn't until decades afterwards that I touched a piano again.  This teacher's philosophy is that if a child likes the music he/she is practicing they will practice.  My feeling is that if a child "owns" something they will pursue it.

Thanks again for your advice!

[j_menz]

My philosophy:  I would like music to be a continued source of pleasure for him throughout his life. 

More power to you!! 

[lostinidlewonder]

.  How can I support his teacher in her teaching?

Hopefully the teacher writes easy to follow instructions in the lesson journal for you and your son to refer to while practicing. When practicing away from the teacher we unavoidably will have to practice with our method while hopefully keeping in mind points the teacher gave in lesson. Practicing on your own never is exactly the same as when you practice with the teacher in a lesson. It is also important to be mindful of the most important improvements that need to be achieved and where in the music you should get up to before the next lesson.

.  Should I be in the room when he has lessons?

As a pianist yourself I think it would be very useful if you want to support your son while he practices away from the teacher. You should also compile some questions of your own to ask the teacher at the end of the lesson to clarify what you and your son should focus on and the method prescribed to get there.

.  Should I enforce practicing or let him practice as he choses?

We all should practice on our own, trail and error and testing is all very important to our learning experience. I always tell my students not to worry about doing something wrong because when you are then shown the correct or better way you will appreciate it a lot more. If you feel he is going off track or practicing inefficiently then step in and give a helping hand.

.  Finally, though I offered, his teacher would not let me pay for the first meet and greet and test the waters.  How to teachers prefer to be paid?  Per lesson, monthly, quarterly?

Ask the teacher themselves what they would prefer. Most professional teachers will ask for a term fee, but it is certainly not uncommon for weekly, fortnightly payments. If you miss a scheduled lesson you should pay the teacher for their time, most clients if given the choice however will happily NOT pay. I think that those that do pay for missing lessons are being respectful to the teacher and their business and I think it would benefit your lessons with a teacher who feels appreciated rather than just someone who gets paid only when it suits yourself.