Welcome to Wonderland - E major - My new own piece for Xmass

[stylerpiano]

This is my 6. self composed piano piece.  The end of year is coming and I have a little Christmas feeling. This song reminds me to my childhood when I was waiting for the presents.

This nice melody was born 3 weeks ago.

Let me know what you think about it.

[stylerpiano]

I would be happy if some composer write some words about my song  This melody is the best since I have been learning piano (about 9 months now). I would like to improve my songs after I get some feedback (usually on this forum).

[awesom_o]

I'm a composer. I think it's great that you have an interest in composing your own music.

However, I would encourage you to develop your musical thinking so as to combine multiple melodies at once. This will make your music more harmonically and stylistically rich! Right now, your style is a bit too limited in terms of compositional technique to attract much attention.

It's great to be self-taught, and many of the great composers were mostly self-taught. But you must learn to be a great self-teacher, and that's not an easy thing to do.

It would be very helpful for you at this point to play the music of other composers, in order to expand your musical imagination and broaden the horizon of your musical taste.

[stylerpiano]

I'm a composer. I think it's great that you have an interest in composing your own music.

However, I would encourage you to develop your musical thinking so as to combine multiple melodies at once. This will make your music more harmonically and stylistically rich! Right now, your style is a bit too limited in terms of compositional technique to attract much attention.

It's great to be self-taught, and many of the great composers were mostly self-taught. But you must learn to be a great self-teacher, and that's not an easy thing to do.

It would be very helpful for you at this point to play the music of other composers, in order to expand your musical imagination and broaden the horizon of your musical taste.

Ok, thank you! And what do you think about my melody?

[stylerpiano]

I'm a composer. I think it's great that you have an interest in composing your own music.

However, I would encourage you to develop your musical thinking so as to combine multiple melodies at once. This will make your music more harmonically and stylistically rich! Right now, your style is a bit too limited in terms of compositional technique to attract much attention.

It's great to be self-taught, and many of the great composers were mostly self-taught. But you must learn to be a great self-teacher, and that's not an easy thing to do.

It would be very helpful for you at this point to play the music of other composers, in order to expand your musical imagination and broaden the horizon of your musical taste.

By the way I learn in a conservatoire, but there I don't learn anything about composing.

Many people says , that this is the best melody what I wrote. Also my teacher says that this is a style, don't need to be more complex.

This song is a pretty one, and thats all  

My other nice melody was Lovely June 4 monhs ago   (

)

The songs can't be more complex atm ,because they reflect my improvisation skill. I can play harder pieces, but I can't improvising harder than this at the moment.

But I really would like to know your opinion only about the melody  awesom_o, or how can be the song more complex?

[awesom_o]

By the way I learn in a conservatoire, but there I don't learn anything about composing.

I too studied composition in a conservatoire, and found little merit in doing so.

However, there was some merit, however little.

The most important thing for a composer to learn is music theory, however. You don't learn music theory from a composition class. Bartok himself said that you cannot teach composition, and I agree with him!

I don't wish for you to change this piece, or attempt to add complexity to it. There is nothing innately wrong with simplicity, provided that it is structurally sound, and harmonically innovative.

A good piece needs more than just a nice melody. It needs good musical structure, and strong narrative flow. By studying harmony, one can learn what these things are, and master the ability to create them!

[dcstudio]

I think the melody is quite beautiful...       you stated that it reminded you of "waiting for presents" -- I would like to feel the excitement just a bit more.  

I goofed around a bit with the beginning.   I started an octave higher and quietly "rolled" the E major chord then stated the opening phrase a little more freely .  I stepped the LH down from E to D# then to C# and voiced the IV chord in 1st inversion to help the bass line flow a little easier. Instead of moving parallel octaves from B down to A in measure 4--I would play the root position B chord then B7 in my RH over single D# with LH and then resolve that to E.   I like the way this starts to move at about the 45 sec mark on the vid.  

In the left hand--less is more--experiment a bit with not stating the rhythm so completely.  Think of a bass and a midrange instrument as two separate entities within the piece.  

I like this...a lot.   Good job

[stylerpiano]

Thank you for your andwers awesom_o and dcstudio.

dcstudio, today I will tell my teacher, to explain your words for me, and I try it , thanks!

[dcstudio]

Thank you for your andwers awesom_o and dcstudio.

dcstudio, today I will tell my teacher, to explain your words for me, and I try it , thanks!

you are very welcome and please post another video of your revisions.  I will also try and post a recording of what I mean...   

I never went to a conservatory...just music school... I studied jazz.     Pay attention in theory class!  you won't regret it!!!

[stylerpiano]

I was in the conservatoire today and my teacher helped me to improve the song. He said lots of things, how can I improve the song, what are the problems in the accords at the moment,  and finally I will change some of this:

LH:
- somewhere A major to F# minor (F#,C#,F#)
- H major to H minor (G#,H,D#,G#)
- A to H7 ((H),D#,F#,A)

I will add some rythmics variations to the left hand, and the final part of the song will be more simple and RH will go to higher octaves, and will be end with E major with glissando on it and on LH there will be only low E octave.


The song will be much better, on the weekends I will record it again  

[dcstudio]

I look forward to hearing it    remember to have fun playing it too.  it's about Christmas and toys...