There's "teaching" and then there's Teaching.

[thalbergmad]

The friendliness and mutual love in this place never ceases to warm my heart.

Thal

[kevin69]

Well, I think it's a pivotal point in my life and even though that's not what I had planned to bring up I guess it came out.  What I am personally looking for in my life is a way to professionally move forward, and if it's going to be in music, to take an already established music career, and one with certain experiences already within it, to a new level.  

After reading the thread I'm still unclear what's stopping you.
Not  knowing the direction to take?
Or other priorities?
Or something else?

[m1469]

After reading the thread I'm still unclear what's stopping you.
Not  knowing the direction to take?
Or other priorities?
Or something else?

Because all I see in front of me looks and feels like a hamster wheel?

[j_menz]

Because all I see in front of me looks and feels like a hamster wheel?

Sometimes you just need to find your inner hamster.

[m1469]

Sometimes you just need to find your inner hamster.

So that I may simply run in a wheel?  

I used to work at a grocery store (started at $4.35/hour, thankyouverymuch), and while I do not have plans of going back, content-wise how is running in a "musical" hamster wheel any different than straightening shelves at the store?

Besides the fact that I can't intellectually imagine how doing most of what I've listed as theoretical options can guarantee that I don't just do them, drain myself in the process, and end up doing exactly what I'm doing now, I've actually already even tried it and I just don't have another step in me, at the moment.  So, I'm supposed to get all worked up, set all of my life aside, and possibly spend the rest of my life just trying to break some imaginary wall by taking the same footsteps I've already taken, yet again?

[j_menz]

content-wise how is running in a "musical" hamster wheel any different than straightening shelves at the store?

That is for you to find in yourself. If you can't, it's not.

[m1469]

That is for you to find in yourself. If you can't, it's not.

Obviously I have, many times.  But, that only goes so far or lasts so long.  And, it's not rocket science to see that it's only a matter of time ... months, days, hours?  until I'm wondering, once again, how to do something differently than what I've been already doing for years now.

[m1469]

No matter how I cut it, at this point, it seems the most I can aim for is doing some kind of independent videos of myself playing and teaching.  Maybe plan a live recital every now and again.  Write some books over time.  That's about it, as far as I can see.  And, it seems I can do that while primarily being a "music" teacher, or while also being something else.

[m1469]

It's strange, I actually do get fulfillment out of very many extremely small and simple things.  Even students who are aggravating at times, even if they walked in and told me they didn't practice, or they're grumpy, or are in the process of doing something that is annoying to me, just to make them laugh can bring joy.  Or, I will get a strange thrill out of the tiniest moment that I see a child's hand and fingers look just a certain way on the keys ... for like the blink of an eye ... or when I hear one of my children sounding truly musical and joyful in a Sonatina, or an adult whose main practice and progress consists of what happens in lessons alone having a big personal breakthrough regarding her own professional thoughts while she's in her lesson and I give her the chance to think through something.  I am no stranger to these things.  I still like these things!  But I am still hungry for learning more myself, and being able to share that with others for whom these things matter, and for musical growth.  I'd like to have the opportunity to also express the very much deeper things that really, really matter to me personally.  And, the balance right now is very far in one direction.

[nyiregyhazi]

So that I may simply run in a wheel?  

I used to work at a grocery store (started at $4.35/hour, thankyouverymuch), and while I do not have plans of going back, content-wise how is running in a "musical" hamster wheel any different than straightening shelves at the store?

Besides the fact that I can't intellectually imagine how doing most of what I've listed as theoretical options can guarantee that I don't just do them, drain myself in the process, and end up doing exactly what I'm doing now, I've actually already even tried it and I just don't have another step in me, at the moment.  So, I'm supposed to get all worked up, set all of my life aside, and possibly spend the rest of my life just trying to break some imaginary wall by taking the same footsteps I've already taken, yet again?

Yes. So either get on with it and shut up, accept where you are now or quit. Whichever one you do, stop whinging like a spoiled child about how you don't have what you want. Your constant complaining in response to advice is both rude to the many posters who wasted their time thinking you'd appreciate sincere advice and tedious. Sorry if we've all disappointed you by not offering you a magical solution in one post, but you can either stop whinging and get on with the normal route or you can learn to appreciate what you already have. Either way, learn to shut up and stop bringing it back to how horribly the world has wronged you and disappointed, at every available opportunity. That's probably the single biggest issue right now. Nobody likes self important people who think they're amazing and behave like they are above the rest of the world, especially not ones who are constantly whinging and complaining about how reality never seems to match up with what their inflated self-estimation leads them to expect on a plate.

[Bob]

The friendliness and mutual love in this place never ceases to warm my heart.

Thal

I thought it was funny this and the plastered thread were at the top of my list just now.


The treadmill aspect is probably part of life.  You could just coast -- not try -- and focus on something else.  You'll do just as well teaching without really pushing yourself as you normally would most likely.


*Bob thinks it's possible m1469 and nyireghhazi are actually the same person.*  Nope... Different time zones.

[Bob]

Take on some students online.  That's a little different.

[nyiregyhazi]

Incidentally, enthusiastic students with ambition tend to like clear and direct advice rather than pseudo-profound babble. If the type of threads you've posted in these forums (about the doh-ness of doh or whatever all that nonsense was) is indicative of your teaching, you may find you need to learn more practical and tangible methods for development, to attract serious students. If I were to pay someone for a lesson and they spent most of the time talking about concepts so vague and meaningless that I sincerely wondered if they'd spent the whole day smoking drugs, I'd be off to look for a teacher who had something concrete and meaningful to teach me. Those with the strongest ambition seek out the teachers who can offer them the most assistance in realising ambition. If you want such students, above all you need to be sure that you have something truly special to offer them.

[pts1]

 

[Bob]

Ganging up on the m1469...

What was the original question?

[m1469]

What was the original question?

It wasn't one.  It was basically a statement that musical content really does matter during lessons, and that it's possible for the substance of musicality to get lost with too much bending of standards.  It is something I am simultaneously realizing anew as fact, while understanding the necessity of relaxing musical standards in trying to run a music teaching business that truly pays the bills, and lamenting the facts when propped against a teacher's (in this case my own, but which I can now understand better on many people's behalf) own deep musical desires.

Of course, there's more, too.  One of my developing theories is that it may be better for Classical Tradition to not be something that people rely fully upon in order to pay the bills.  I am pondering the possibility that equating professional/business success or failure with musical accomplishment is basically causing more harm to musicians and the tradition of Classical Music than it is vitalizing it - perhaps, especially, because there is actually not a clear business, professional, nor training model for the business of Classical Music.  Most of it is seriously considered very much a matter of chance.  

Along those lines, I am considering some options as a means of professional development simply because I like business and related aspects, and I crave professional fulfillment.  Incidentally, in doing so, I have experienced a relief of some pressure from areas of my musical life that are difficult to explain.  This week I have enjoyed every aspect of my musical life more.  While I am not sure this is showing a clear career path in a particular direction, it does give me pause for thought, and I'm paying attention to what I can be learning.

In the meantime, I still like teaching, I still love music, I'd still like to progress, there are still ideas I'd like to develop.

[ted]

The friendliness and mutual love in this place never ceases to warm my heart.

Thal

Beginning to miss the good old friendly banter with Susan, Thal ?  Or perhaps not.

[outin]

I used to work at a grocery store (started at $4.35/hour, thankyouverymuch), and while I do not have plans of going back, content-wise how is running in a "musical" hamster wheel any different than straightening shelves at the store?

Those of us who need to work to support ourselves can not always expect for it to be fulfilling. The idea of work in the present time is to create something for someone else and get paid for it. At best you can combine that with also enjoying what you do, but it's simply not possible for everyone, unless one knows how to take pleasure in doing whatever you do well. I've worked all kind of jobs from cleaning to managing and I have to say that I have not hated any of them. Some of them I could not imagine doing for decades or even years, but at the time I felt it was ok. Even with what I do now there are times when I get tired and bored, but it always passes when I get interested in some project again. My job may seem boring to an outsider, but it's important and many things would be worse if I didn't do it as well as I do.

I assume it is exactly the same if your career is about music, there are better times and worse times. If it is never better, then  a career change might be appropriate. But it won't help if the same attitude and unrealistic expectations to life and work will be carried to the next job.

[ahinton]

The friendliness and mutual love in this place never ceases to warm my heart.

Indeed - or give one heartburn, more like...

Best,

Alistair

[m1469]

I outlined what I am talking about, as well as a few examples out of many things that I do find fulfillment in about teaching.  Furthermore, I actually have learned to find joy in most things.   I actually enjoyed straightening shelves, and various extremely mundane things.  One of my first "official" jobs was folding boxes for a soap factory.  They liked me there and found other work for me to do without me even asking.  You know what one of the jobs was?  Putting stamps on the boss's mother's grocery card.  He brought them from home for me to do while I was there.  She would get stamps from a certain grocery store when she shopped there, and when a person fills the card, it's worth something (don't remember what).  The stamps were green and she had hundreds of them - it turned my hands green.  I've cleaned houses, I've changed other peoples kids' diapers, I've been happy bagging groceries or collecting carts from a parking lot and bringing them in.  The list is long - heck, I've even managed to take joy in scooping my doggy's poopies out of the backyard.  Of course, I made a decision to move on from all of those jobs but what I am talking about is not just about learning to take joy in less than glamorous things.  

On that note though, after meeting with my former student last Monday, I decided that a profession in music is actually probably most fulfilling for individuals who don't have big ambitions with it. My ambitions came from my love for it and simply never truly included teaching certain things.

I left all those other jobs because I felt called to something else.  

[outin]

The reality and the ideal don't usually meet. If I had unlimited funds, in addition to spending more time learning music, I would probably like to go back into research, only this time doing it my way and focus on something I am really interested in on a personal level instead of what is good for funding. I'd have a team where someone else would do the routine work I don't care for. I think what drives me most in life is the willingness to know and understand more. But it doesn't necessarily pay the bills, so the second best thing is to have a job that has that element and still leaves you free time to explore other things. I assume a music teacher can still explore music while paying the bills by teaching beginners?

The paradox is that if you spend your life trying to become more knowledgeable, understand more or do something better (like making music) you will get better and better and then you die
So it's best not to contemplate these issues too much, otherwise the only rational conclusion is to focus on things that give one instant pleasure.

[lostinidlewonder]

Lol m1469 you fell for the trap taking that guy seriously lol.

[awesom_o]

heck, I've even managed to take joy in scooping my doggy's poopies out of the backyard.  Of course, I made a decision to move on from all of those jobs

You mean you now just leave the poop there all over your back yard? 

I have a friend who does that.... it's pretty gross!

[m1469]

I assume a music teacher can still explore music while paying the bills by teaching beginners?

Just fyi, I have nothing against teaching beginners.  In fact I enjoy it.  I don't even actually mind the inundation with Halloween music I've recently had (though probably out of self-preservation shouldn't have had quite so much of it), and I don't mind having Jingle Bells be next.  And, while I in fact still do have a variety of students who, together, pull on a somewhat varied pool of what I actually have to offer, it is still very possible for the balance to be too far in one direction and it is.  

When too many things happen at once or in a short period of time that make me wonder why I am doing what I am doing, then it's pretty challenging.  I give a lot of myself to others.  A lot.  And I am not one of those teachers who makes a special point at every turn to make sure that my students understand how privileged they are to be working with me and how worthless they are .  And I do not currently have any form of truly feeding my own musical interests.  My path with music and teaching is not paved with awards, pats on the back, and special recognition for my accomplishments, so almost all of what I have ever done has been generated from within.  In fact, certain people that I have cared about a looked up to have made special points to help me thoroughly understand that what I do as a musician and person have next to no value to them, including a special phone call near my graduation that informed me this individual wouldn't attend graduation as they normally do, because I was the only student of theirs graduating.  For people here to act as though I am some spoiled person who has always had things go my way or who is, for just a slight moment, trying to do something without the show of approbation by others, are just uninformed and completely clueless.

It is also not true that the teaching I do allows me a bunch of extra time to pursue what is of deep interest to me, and I just don't think it's true of teaching in general unless a person has a quite cushy teaching job.  And even if it did, what would the application of that knowledge and growth be?  Even though I love music -beyond words- it is not ultimately about being self-serving and I don't get the full satisfaction by studying and learning without a useful application that includes or at least potentially includes sharing some part of it with others.  

My morning today consisted of me sitting for some moments just to emotionally and intellectually balance myself before the work day (I find this is required to do my job as well as I can), to momentarily ponder the possibility of personal time at the piano, but to come to grips with the need to instead make learning tracks for my singing class to sing Bohemian Rhapsody (in which class I have a mixed bag of individuals who think they are much holier than the class and people who are happy to be there), to do more grading, to clean my teaching room, make some phone calls, answer some emails, and then teach starting in about 15 minutes until 7pm this evening.

I can actually remember what it was like to not be musically able to do the things I described in the paragraph above, and to in some ways be locked into any of the jobs I had before this.  I am grateful for my job, I even ultimately do like it.  I simply would appreciate the possibility to grow, to learn more, and to apply more of who I am.  At least, as of the last hour, I am picking myself up a bit and considering climbing back into the hamster wheel.  

[pts1]

I give a lot of myself to others.  A lot.

Given your generous and compassionate nature, have you apologized to Keypeg and sought forgiveness?

[m1469]

Given your generous and compassionate nature, have you apologized to Keypeg and sought forgiveness?

Anybody who has consciously made the decision to press themselves outside of my trust is indeed firmly out of it.  I can comprehend that people do strange things for "good" reasons -myself included- but I'm not going to lie to myself to make believe that somebody treats me with genuine care when they don't.  In this case, though I have learned from that whole situation, of course I haven't.  Nice try though  .

[nyiregyhazi]

Anybody who has consciously made the decision to press themselves outside of my trust is indeed firmly out of it.  I can comprehend that people do strange things for "good" reasons -myself included- but I'm not going to lie to myself to make believe that somebody treats me with genuine care when they don't.  In this case, though I have learned from that whole situation, of course I haven't.  Nice try though  .

What a surprise. Your reply is exclusively about what's in it for you- not for the person you have been proved to have wrongfully accused. That really speaks of someone who gives themself to others...

[pts1]

What a surprise. Your reply is exclusively about what's in it for you

As a brief refresher to put this in context for others, Ajspiano put together a small online forum piano competition in which entrants recorded their performances at home and uploaded them to Pianostreet.com by a deadline date and time. Then the performances would be judged and awarded a "recognition prize".

Keypeg, having a superior performance as I recall, was accused by m1469 of having "stolen" m1469's recording since they both submitted the same piece.

m1469's claim of theft by Keypeg was debunked 6 ways to Sunday by several observers and participants, not the least and irrefutable of which was that Keypeg's recording was submitted well before m1469's was according to its existence in this site observable to all, and the time stamp of its uploading.

But m1469 persisted, even in the face of overwhelming and irrefutable proof, that Keypeg had stolen her recording, and went on to insult other competitors and observers who universally agreed that m1469 was in the wrong and should apologize.

Instead, m1469 "doubled down" worsening her position, and was consequently banned from further competitions due to her dishonesty, deception, and utter lack of remorse.

It is in this context that she STILL (a couple of years later) refuses to apologize or even recongize that she is the assailant and not the victim.

Truly bizarre.

Anyone -- other than m1469 -- who remembers the event, please feel free to correct anything I have gotten wrong in the brief recounting.


PS


One wonders about the child in her care trying to simply learn Jingle Bells?

[thalbergmad]

Beginning to miss the good old friendly banter with Susan, Thal ? 

Incredibly, yes.

I fancy a new battle with some tambo bangers.

Might start a new thread.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

I am a little uncomfortable with all this m1469 bashing.

From my contact with her over a number of years, I am of the opinion that she is a beautiful person inside and out.

On the other hand, it would be rather hypocritical of me to criticize others for being mean to other members.

Thal

[outin]

I am a little uncomfortable with all this m1469 bashing.

From my contact with her over a number of years, I am of the opinion that she is a beautiful person inside and out.

On the other hand, it would be rather hypocritical of me to criticize others for being mean to other members.

What's happened to Thal? Someone hacked his account? He's been invaded by an alien? ...or maybe just too many beers?

[goldentone]

Those who have attacked m1469's character and goodness on this forum over that strange recording will one day know who it is they have scorned.  Surer than the current President of the United States shall be removed from office.

[j_menz]

Surer than the current President of the United States shall be removed from office.

His two terms being up, surely he'll retire from office rather than being removed. Missed your chance on that one last presidential election. 

[pts1]

Surer than the current President of the United States shall be removed from office.

What a curious comment.

Which brings me to m1469....

Those who have attacked m1469's character and goodness on this forum over that strange recording will one day know who it is they have scorned.

I can't tell if this is sarcasm?

So I'll guess the revelation as to who she is will be.... Beelzebub?

[Bob]

*Bob considers changing his username to BeezelBob.*  Although I don't know if the original bub part is actually from anything.

https://www.bajiroo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/strange-people-funny-images.jpg
The pic wasn't displaying for me.  Ugh...


Strange.... Generally m1469's been ok.  The only odd thing was that recording argument.  And then the extra profiles but I figured that was entertainment.   Goldentone could be another extra profile though. 

[lostinidlewonder]

m1469 is ok whats wrong with her??? Shes been here for a long time and I remember her accounts before she became m1469. She has a lot of good ideas and thoughts. We all have said crazy stuff online, if you keep bringing the negative past up thats just silly. Bring it up if it occurs all the time.... like some idiots here ... lol

[ahinton]

m1469 is ok whats wrong with her??? Shes been here for a long time and I remember her accounts before she became m1469. She has a lot of good ideas and thoughts. We all have said crazy stuff online, if you keep bringing the negative past up thats just silly. Bring it up if it occurs all the time.... like some idiots here ... lol

Like you and Thal (and no doubt others), I am finding this incessant m1469-bashing exceedingly tiresome. Whilst there are occasions on which I do not always seem fully to understand the points that she makes, I certainly don't at all understand a good many of the vehement accusations of her that are flying around here; my other regret is that she has sought to respond to each and every one of them rather than merely treating them with the contempt that they appear for the most part to deserve.

Since I do not teach and have hardly ever taught, I seek to claim no undue authority on the subject matter under discussion and am therefore wisely refraining from comment on its substance, but that fact does not discourage me from posting as I have in the above paragraph.

Best,

Alistair

[pts1]

*Bob considers changing his username to BeezelBob.*

 

Hey, Bob, a fantastic idea! Wish I'd thought of it. Just think of the possibilities!


Write a new song: "When the Red Goblin come BeelzeBob bob bobin' along"

A new movie: "What about BeelzeBob?"

Say... I like the way you talk (From "Sling Blade" with Billy "Beelzebob" Thornton) so I'm gonna change my attitude and realize like you do that m1469 is here for the entertainment value, and what with her multiple personalities and identities -- since none of us can really speak or understand m1469nese -- why not just go along with the joke??

I'm from the old school, so to speak, and expect people to own up to their mistakes, be honest and apologize, but this is really, really passe now.

Our President has set the tone: "If you like your plan [healthcare] you can keep your plan. Period"

Hey... another idea... how about politics!?!?

Let's see... how about Barack Hoosifer Beelzebama -- you could really go for it.

But I get 10% and rights to 25% of the residuals, OK!

PS

I liked your suggestion to her that she could be a Priestess, hubcaps not withstanding.