Needing Encouragement...

[gentlewind]

 What do you do when you begin an endeavor and have no encouragement to continue? I went for a long time without  sitting down at the piano because I was so frustrated and could not play what I wanted to play. Recently, I've found myself back and really working hard and not doing too badly. My beef is I get no encouragement. Not even my own family! I am 59yrs old and I already feel it's a little late to start back, but it sure would be nice if I had some kind of encouragement from somebody! Anybody?

[faulty_damper]

Keep at it!  Do it because you enjoy it.

[hfmadopter]

I understand, maybe we all do ! The thing is that you really need to be self motivated and love music enough that you play for your own spiritual well being. Others are free to call it as they choose but that's what I call it. People around you may or may not even understand your situation never mind give you recognition. You need to learn to please a spot inside yourself, in time you might gain a following in people around you. We all want acceptance but the blunt fact of the matter is in some cases someone in the house may even consider piano practice annoying.

So now that said, and I mean no offense in what I said incidentally. What did me the most good in my piano lesson years was the teachers work shops where like minded people all played on a Wed night. And then recitals. Those were the times to both learn and also shine. To actually put on a performance is when you will get compliments or silence. And you can do that. Making it a more official performance with invited guests sheds a little different light on what you are doing. And just a suggestion , really work on expression. I mean really express your music, it catches more attention than finger gymnastics alone can ever catch.

Bottom line and I don't mean it to be rude, people really don't care if we practice our piano music . They have their own things they do. One pianist to another might care but non musical family members not so much. I'm very lucky, my wife is a singer and been with a chorale group for some 30 years and she understands music . She loves my piano music. I've been around piano a lot of years, when the kids were all home and growing up, they really didn't care a whole lot and while today they recognize that I do a lot of my own music and like that music they aren't going out of their way to come hear it either. It's just how it is. My family supports me by not mocking or booing I guess. Although my oldest daughter is after my first CD which is something not even in the works !

[chopincat]

If there's a way you could sign up for recitals or exams, that would probably motivate you a lot. You wouldn't be getting direct encouragement for practicing, but you'd be more motivated to do it, and positive feedback from audience members/judges is always encouraging.

[outin]

Maybe just accept that sometimes it may feel pointless and push through that with determination. It certainly helps to have some contact with others who share your enthusiasm, but it's true that you rarely get that from someone who isn't in the same boat. If you cannot find any such real people, there's always the internet

Try to find music you can play that feels as important to you than the things you'd want to play but cannot.

[ted]

Recently, I've found myself back and really working hard and not doing too badly.

That in itself is pretty encouraging, is it not ? You could always post recordings for comment here on the forum or seek like minded musicians in your own community. Some players appear to need more positive response from listeners than others. I am sixty-seven and for a very long time my source of encouragement has come from my music itself. Although I am pleased if somebody likes it, at a deeper level I have always been supremely indifferent to opinion one way or the other. As long as you are not wanting people to approve of your music, which action is none of their business, then I agree with the others; enjoyment is reward and encouragement enough.   

[wrongnotes]

The harsh reality is that not many people care as much as we do about piano music and you simply can't expect to receive much encouragement with people who don't share the same enthusiasm.

As an amateur learner you will soon come to learn that ultimately you play for yourself. You have to find your own motivation. Encouragement, praises or impressing others should not be a core motivation of why you sit down everyday and grind away at the piano.

Like what the others have mentioned, probably finding a group of like minded people would be the ideal solution. Participate in recitals, find fellow pianist friends etc. I know it's tough & lonely sometimes because it's hard to find people to talk about music, or piano specifically.

I would personally recommend signing up for exams though. That is surely going to keep you motivated. (in a good and bad way). If you play well you'll get very encouraging comments in your report.

[outin]

I would personally recommend signing up for exams though. That is surely going to keep you motivated. (in a good and bad way). If you play well you'll get very encouraging comments in your report.

Another point of view to consider: Exams are not usually the best motivator for someone who already is a perfectionist and very critical of oneself. The added stress will easily become counterproductive for learning.

[dcstudio]

No encouragement from your family?    That's quite normal my friend--don't take it as a measuring stick for your progress.  They are quite accustomed to tuning out your practice sessions.  We all play in my home--piano, guitar, voice, and my daughter also plays the fr. horn--it gets quite noisy at times.   

Keep in mind that when you accomplish something at the piano--they may not even notice.  It is tough to live with musicians...  It is about you--not your family.  It would be nice if everything we played was well received--and our efforts were always acknowledged but that really doesn't happen often.   I started when I was 4 and I am now 50...   I was often told to "stop playing that damn piano!"  In fact--even now I hear that phrase in my home...lol...and I play professionally.  Really...don't sweat it.

Play because you want to play... if others enjoy it--that's just a bonus.  I taught a 70 yr old total beginner once.  It was quite painful at first---but she caught on and did surprisingly well.

I fear you will regret it far more if you give up...    time spent at the piano is never wasted.

[gentlewind]

Thanks to all of you who replied to my dilemma. I am so blessed to have a group of supportive people online! Everyone is correct...play for my own satisfaction. What a thought! Why didn't I think of that! BTW, I have printed out some of your responses and put them into my piano journal. They will be there when I need some encouragement! Thanks again.

[Bob]

I've found a routine helpful.  Doesn't need a lot of motivation.  Can tap into the power of habit.  Not a lot of thinking needing.  Decent results over time.

[bernadette60614]

Somethings I do:

I write the date that I start a piece (and now a section of a piece).  Over the three years or so I've played I've found that it gives me a lot of satisfaction to see how I went from playing Ode to Joy with three fingers at my first adult piano course, to playing simpler Mozart sonatas.

Create a structure for your practice.  I do this:  new piece, piece under development, technique, sight reading.

Set a time goal for each practice session. I started out at 15 minutes a day, I'm now at 45 minutes a day. 

Chose a time when you're "fresh".  I used to practice at night, and as I advanced I learned that I wasn't absorbing as much at night.  I now get up at 5:30 and do my 45 minutes before the family stirs.

Time will pass whether you use it or not.  A year from now, with 30 minutes of practice a day...you'll be a better musician than you are today.  I think if you take the longer perspective, you'll find motivation and encouragement comes from yourself and your own feeling of progress.

[Bob]

I've been procrastinating lately.

This kind of works...
Stay focused on it, even if you're not doing it.
Break it down into smaller chunks.  Work on one of those.
Force yourself to do it.
Take breaks, etc. whenever you need to, but come back to the task eventually.

Easier said than done.  There's something on the mental side about it though, staying with the task in focus like that.

[bernadette60614]

And, finally, something I bear in mind:  Every if it doesn't make your heart sing each time you sit down to practice, learning an instrument is the ideal way to keep your mind nimble...better than computer brain games, crossword puzzles, etc.  There is a recent TED talk about how learning an instrument engages all parts of one's mind in a way that no other activity does.

So, if it is isn't for the joy of music, perhaps for your good mental health!