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Topic: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?  (Read 2209 times)

Offline chopinlover01

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Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
on: April 26, 2015, 01:39:05 AM
I know a lot of people here have very strong hate towards some pianists, so I thought I'd give you all some ways to imagine people dying, as per the amazing George Carlin:

Skip to 0:58 and you're set!
And for those of you that haven't seen this... ha, you don't know what you're missing!

Offline Bob

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #1 on: April 26, 2015, 02:05:45 PM
Nothing with killing pianists, but I'm not completely disagreeing with him either, esp. for people who make decisions that affect everyone.  Politicians, heads of business, heads of school even... If they make a decision in their own interest or just make a decisions without good info, later on everyone's dealing with the outcome of those mistakes.  For the situations I'm thinking of, I or someone is dealing with the mess, and the person responsible has left or retired.  They probably don't really have much fear about the outcome when they make those decisions.

From whenever that video scene is originally from, it's still relevant.
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline outin

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #2 on: April 26, 2015, 02:22:46 PM
I have a long list of people to exterminate before I would even think about touching any pianists...

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #3 on: April 26, 2015, 07:40:02 PM
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO George Carlin is the sh*t I love him.
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline chopinlover01

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #4 on: April 27, 2015, 01:42:49 AM
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO George Carlin is the sh*t I love him.
My favorite line so far of his is, "How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette?".

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #5 on: April 27, 2015, 05:42:38 PM
My favorite line so far of his is, "How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette?".

I really like his airplane announcements.
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline thalbergmad

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #6 on: April 27, 2015, 06:25:24 PM
For crimes against music, i would start with Schiff, Hewitt, Bang Bang and Lisitsa.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline themeandvariation

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #7 on: April 27, 2015, 08:21:21 PM
@Thal … I certainly would be curious as to your 'case' against Mr. Schiff…  (I'm not crazy about how he plays Chopin)…  But what of the Baroque interpretations? or even Mozart or Beethoven?..  (leaving out his idea of the pedaling for the first mov't of the Moonlight).
Cheers!
4'33"

Offline chopinlover01

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #8 on: April 27, 2015, 10:42:24 PM
For crimes against music, i would start with Schiff, Hewitt, Bang Bang and Lisitsa.

Thal
The last two are perfectly justified, of course, but I'd be interested in why you dislike the first two. They're not awful. They're not amazing, either, but they're nowhere near the latter two you mentioned.

Offline ahinton

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #9 on: April 28, 2015, 04:51:50 AM
For crimes against music, i would start with Schiff, Hewitt, Bang Bang and Lisitsa.
Not wholly disagreeing with the response to this but the thread's about whether you've wanted to murder a pianist; would you want to do this or would you rather have someone else do it and, if indeed the former, how would you go about it? Whack him/her over the head with the largest of your banjos?

I find Bang Bang not a musical criminal but a dull pianist with little to offer besides mild amusement at his physical clowining antics, although I do believe that he has other virtues. Lisitsa is again, to me, just a dull slightly more than competent pianist with whose performances I have never felt able to engage, but I'd not describe her as a musical criminal; indeed, I find the widespread adulation of her more offensive than her actual playing...

At least you haven't mentioned Marc-André Hamelin. And you've omitted reference to Martha Argerich who, fabulous as she is, has surely played Schumann's penny dreadful concerto more times than you have banjos...

Personally, if I felt that ill disposed towards a pianist, I'd opt for the rather less drastic and easier option of not listening to them.

Bestm

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline outin

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #10 on: April 28, 2015, 04:57:43 AM
For crimes against music, i would start with Schiff...

WHAT?? Did someone hit your head with a banjo?

Offline promusician

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #11 on: April 28, 2015, 03:32:48 PM
Brendull, Clayderman, Bang Bang, Hamelin, Lisitsa, Khatia

Offline ahinton

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #12 on: April 28, 2015, 03:53:38 PM
Brendull, Clayderman, Bang Bang, Hamelin, Lisitsa, Khatia
"A" pianist is the thread topic - not a whole bunch of them!

Alfred Brendel might not be the world's most exciting pianist but he is a great writer and thinker with a sense of humour that one might not expect; I believe that he's a fine teacher, too.

Clayderman? Come on - let's at least stick to the topic!

I've already said my pieces about Bang Bang and Lisitsa.

Khatia is the first name of the pianist to whom I assume you to refer here; I dislike such as I've heard of her playing but I am quite simply not of a murderous disposition towards anyone.

Never mind killing; what I might like to do is the opposite to Pogorelich, i.e. find a way for him to recover and to be once again what he was when in his 20s.

As I've said - if you don't like a particular pianist's playing, just don't listen!

Best,

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline thalbergmad

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #13 on: April 28, 2015, 05:11:14 PM
Whack him/her over the head with the largest of your banjos?

I would not risk the possible damage to my beloved instruments.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline thalbergmad

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #14 on: April 28, 2015, 05:14:08 PM
The last two are perfectly justified, of course, but I'd be interested in why you dislike the first two. They're not awful.

Indeed, perhaps dreadful would have been a better word. Hewitt should be shot for her recent Liszt sonata. I cannot call it a performance as that would indicate some artistry.

Schiff playing anything other than Bach makes Hamelin sound like a sensitive genius.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline outin

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #15 on: April 28, 2015, 06:33:07 PM

Schiff playing anything other than Bach makes Hamelin sound like a sensitive genius.


And you would kill one of the very few pianists that I have enjoyed listening to playing Bach?  ::)

Not to mention he plays Scarlatti just as well... >:(

Offline thalbergmad

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #16 on: April 28, 2015, 07:09:12 PM
He should stick to Bach and Scarlatti, it is all he is good for.

Hewitt should retire, it is as simple as that and Lisitsa should take up stripping as only then might she do something that i find remotely pleasing.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline stevensk

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #17 on: April 28, 2015, 07:22:42 PM


Classical music is doomed to marginalization and oblivion
-Kill all of them and adore Sprinsteen and Beyonce like everybody else

Offline alessandro

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #18 on: April 28, 2015, 07:30:31 PM
Hello all (and hello to the folks with murderous imagination ?)

I'm a pacifist.   I don't want to hurt or kill anyone.

Kill Valentina Lisitsa ?! I'm fond one of her renditions of the scherzo of the Hammerklavier.   Only for that, she deserves living.

Kathia Buniatischvili ?! I will never forget a Stravinski Petruschka she played here in Brussels.   I have goosebumps only thinking about it.

...

On the other hand, there are a few popstars and sportsman I would like to... well, that's maybe something for another topic.

Peace to you all !

Offline themeandvariation

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #19 on: April 28, 2015, 07:39:36 PM
@Thal…   I would say that Schiff has more to offer than Just Bach and Scarlatti , (which is considerable in itself!)    For those interested, here is a lecture series Schiff does on the Beethoven Sonatas…. I found them quite thought provoking… (regrettably there is no visual, only sound… but not much is lost there)
https://www.theguardian.com/music/classical/page/0,,1943867,00.html
4'33"

Offline thalbergmad

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #20 on: April 28, 2015, 08:15:24 PM
regrettably there is no visual, only sound

I can tolerate Schiff when there is no visual and no sound.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline ahinton

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #21 on: April 28, 2015, 08:54:22 PM
Lisitsa should take up stripping as only then might she do something that i find remotely pleasing.
Stripping what? Paint off walls beore redecorating them? I cannot imagine that any other kind of stripping would be something that I would find "remotely pleasing".

I think that perhaps she should take up piano practice, although quite how far that might get her I cannot tell.

Best,

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline ronde_des_sylphes

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #22 on: April 28, 2015, 09:33:05 PM
Lisitsa should take up stripping as only then might she do something that i find remotely pleasing.
Oh, for pity's sake, Thal. That's the closest I've ever got to reporting one of your posts. ;) I'm glad I'm not currently eating my evening meal, or I would have been sick on the spot. I'd rather hear her play piano. For a purported pianistic sex symbol (and this really is beneath my dignity to say this) she has managed to borrow Steffi Graf's nose and stick it onto an infinitely less attractive body.. Sorry, ladies. (Really, sincerely - I'm neither as misogynistic nor as shallow as that comment makes me appear. I shall play some Schumann as a penance.)
My website - www.andrewwrightpianist.com
Info and samples from my first commercial album - https://youtu.be/IlRtSyPAVNU
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Offline Bob

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #23 on: April 28, 2015, 10:29:12 PM
You don't have to kill the pianist.  Just kill their career -- Don't buy their stuff or attend their concerts.  If enough people pitch in, it's done.
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline outin

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #24 on: April 29, 2015, 03:40:31 AM

 Sprinsteen

Now here's someone who's performances make me want to kill myself to escape the torture...
(assuming you just forgot the g...)

Offline chopinlover01

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #25 on: April 29, 2015, 03:40:48 AM
Of course, I have no intention to actually go kill any of these musicians, especially seeing as there are still things I could learn from them, at least in regards to technique.

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #26 on: April 29, 2015, 05:02:34 AM
Lang Lang and Lisitsa are both great pianists.
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline stevensk

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #27 on: April 29, 2015, 07:16:04 AM
You don't have to kill the pianist.  Just kill their career -- Don't buy their stuff or attend their concerts.  If enough people pitch in, it's done.

-Thats what everyone is tying to do. There is a declining number of people visiting classical concerts

Offline stevensk

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #28 on: April 29, 2015, 07:18:52 AM


Classical music dies out by itself so whats the point of killing pianists?

Offline ahinton

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #29 on: April 29, 2015, 12:09:52 PM
Lang Lang and Lisitsa are both great pianists.
I'm afraid not. They're more than merely competent, but the playing of neither of them is especially engaging (to me, anyway).
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline 8_octaves

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #30 on: April 29, 2015, 12:42:18 PM
Classical music dies out by itself [...]

Hi stevensk,

I don't think so. I spotted, a moment ago, at the statistics-lines the following:

Quote from: Statistics, a moment ago
623946 Posts in 53763 Topics by 83788 Members.
382 Guests, 13 Users

Cordially, 8_oct!
"Never be afraid to play before an artist.
The artist listens for that which is well done,
the person who knows nothing listens for the faults." (T. Carreño, quoting her 2nd teacher, Gottschalk.)

Offline stevensk

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Re: Ever wanted to kill a pianist of your choice?
Reply #31 on: April 29, 2015, 01:19:42 PM
Hi stevensk,

I don't think so. I spotted, a moment ago, at the statistics-lines the following:

Cordially, 8_oct!


-You could be right, but i suggest that we try to resist the temptation to kill pianists. We must protect those we have left

-Are we just 13 users? -Half million posts? ....pianists are really really persistent!

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