AJ Long - Prelude in F Minor

[ajlongspiano]

Hi everyone! Here's a composition I finished writing yesterday. I hope you enjoy! Sheets can be downloaded at the link below.

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https://ajlongspiano.com/compositions

- AJ Long

[stevensk]

Very very very good!  

You are a genius!

[ajlongspiano]

Thank you so much, Steven!

[themeandvariation]

I like the mood… The introduction -especially as you modulate … is quite captivating… Then, to my ear the is quite a strong reference to the Chopin Nocturne (in f minor as well. op.55, no.1).. but by using the  f flat chord ( E Major) , it brings perhaps  a more modern sense of tonality.. (but perhaps your chord pattern is repeated slightly too much) .The middle section is also structured a good deal like that nocturne as well.. where in your score is the  Allegro Agitato section.. As I was listening, I had already discarded the nocturne reference Until you reached the Agitato.. And it reminded me again.. There seems to be a bit of Satie as well? (gnossienne no.1?…also F minor… If these 2 references Didn't play apart in your musings, then it is only my projection…But if they did, I'd say you should make those references {inspirations for your work} less obvious, and more like You)… I did like your piece… I heard something really unique in the intro.. And the craft of your writing is very balanced.. And I thought your playing was beautiful… I hope you don't mind the boldness of my response.. But as a composer I thought you would appreciate an honest response… I think there is a unique voice in you … but i feel it is a bit 'covered over'.   

[ajlongspiano]

Hmmm. Thanks for your response. It must have been subconscious. I personally don't think it sounds anything like the F Minor Chopin Nocturne. Maybe rhythmically there are similarities but I think the language is much different throughout. However, to each his own and I appreciate your critiques! Have a great day!

[themeandvariation]

For composing this, I am surprised your not aware of the structural similarities … of the first section and the agitato … Yes, the chordal contour of the first section Does make it 'sound' different..and I would have let that go if it weren't for the contrasting section to follow  - Chopin's structure there as well.. I apologize if my words give you nothing to consider…

[ajlongspiano]

After listening to the Nocturne again, I agree, and am extremely disappointed in myself. Now I want to burn this thing.

[roncesvalles]

There's a lot to like in this.  I hope you continue to work at this, because it's a good start.  Your harmonies are interesting, and your melody has a great nocturnal feel, like a more fluid gnossienne piece, like Satie finding a little of Chopin's suppleness.

In measure 10 you introduce a motif that I wish you would have elaborated for just one more bar.  What you have introduces the slightest of tensions before resolving into a quiet, fleeting cadence.  If you added one more bar after measure 10 with the same rhythm and with a diminished kind of harmony, it would add more of a sense of release when you temporarily settle down into the f minor chord in measure 12.   That's just something that I, personally, would do, though, but I am a bit biased towards dissonance and drama.  

I would also consider doing something to elaborate the return to the lyrical theme in the "a tempo" final section.  After going through an agitato section and a piu lento section, I was expecting some sort of transformation of the theme--it's like going on a journey but ending up where you started.   There are ways to do this with ornamentation--to add color to the familiar theme, or some counterpoint would add more interest by adding more movement and interaction.   Then at the very end, I think the return to the opening descending theme would be a little more poignant.

These are all my personal takes, and as such are subjective...they're what I would think about doing if I had composed this.    I really enjoyed this and look forward to more from you.

[themeandvariation]

Take it easy man..  My response was Far from 'burn it'… But that is all you heard..  

[ajlongspiano]

I apologize. I just have a compulsive tendency to hate my pieces once I see a flaw in them. I really do appreciate your comments and apologize again for putting on a defensive stance. Thanks for taking time to listen to my piece.

[stevensk]

I apologize. I just have a compulsive tendency to hate my pieces once I see a flaw in them. I really do appreciate your comments and apologize again for putting on a defensive stance. Thanks for taking time to listen to my piece.

I cant hear Chopin Nocturne in f minor in your piece so dont bother

[themeandvariation]

@A J
Thank you ...  And thank you for being candid...  (I get 'emotional' about my pieces too.. )
There is so much to like  (very much!! ) about your piece -- that is why I took the time to respond...I am sure there will be those that don't hear it... But for a composer -  As you are!  --  you know it is also about 'seeing' it…  If you'll permit me,  I think that there are many options available to tweek  your piece a bit should you want to. ... (To take an all or nothing position doesn't allow the piece to marinate....until one really believes that it is 'done')  ..To my mind, all that would be necessary would be to figure another way of writing the Agitato... And I do believe that the piece is well served by an Agitato section there... I would keep the same 'feel', but without doing the call and response of the fast octave passages alternating with the big chords....  This is Just my opinion.. 
You have a beautiful impression with this piece... And if I have stepped over the line, my sincerest  apologies.. I shall not trouble you further on this. 

[pianoguy711]

the beginning was great! perfect introduction.  this is one my favorites of yours so far.  My critique would be to add an alto line, you have the bass and soprano mapped out, and I hear a little tenor in the chords.  A nice contrapuntal alto line might work well and tie everything together.  thanks for sharing

[alistaircrane4]

After listening to the Nocturne again, I agree, and am extremely disappointed in myself. Now I want to burn this thing.

Not be a joy kill but I noticed the same thing with your Prelude in G-minor. Very much like the Chopin Cantabile. Especially the left hand lines.

[ajlongspiano]

Now that I completely disagree with haha.

[ajlongspiano]

Also, Alistar, be sure to stay on topic! 

[ajlongspiano]

Thanks, Pianoman!