Dawn Leaves - Original Song

[ikmatthijs]

Hello,
here is a song I wrote recently, I would love to hear some feedback.

Thanks in advance

[dogperson]

Hi, I am not a composer, but a few stray comments with the disclaimer that new age music is not my thing. Hope you will receive other feedback. 

Really like the melody and your variation in dynamics and style.  The chords at about 1.26 seem jarring and not fitting well with the section.  Around 2.2 there is a pianissimo section, followed immediately by forte-- consider a transition between the two or at least a crescendo at the end of the pianissimo. 

[dcstudio]

you are reading it

  

usually by the time I am at the stage where I will put in Finale  I can play it with my eyes closed because I have spent so much time messing with it at the piano.

did you compose this completely on your pc and you are reading along?  

nothing wrong with that at all...it is still composing in every sense of the word.   it's just when you compose at the piano you don't have to read it back ...usually..  plus everything is already worked out...fingering, dynamics, phrasing... those all developed as you sat and played it before you wrote it down.  You also don't have to count the beats.

The song itself is great... but your focus on the sheets is a bit distracting to both the eyes and the ears

[ikmatthijs]

Thank you both for taking the time to listen and reply!

@dogperson, I agree with the part at 2.2, I think a crescendo will work. I am going to keep the chords at 1:26, I am playing them a little vaguely/unsure, (which is only a part of why they sound jarring I know)

@dcstudio, I composed it partly on the computer, when composing I usually go back and forth between the computer and piano, for me it's easier to come up with a melody when behind a piano, but I fnd giving the song a structure is easier on the pc. I should learn to play the song by heart, I am definitely going to practice it till I can, and also make some changes.

[dcstudio]

am definitely going to practice it till I can, and also make some changes.

that's when you write the music -- that's when the mojo happens...

and it's all yours...because only you can play it like you... 

those patterns you are using will evolve and develop into something so familiar that you will play them perfectly every single time...  on any piano--and no matter how many people are there.

if you can learn to think of the classical stuff you play--the same way you think about this stuff...

Look out....   

[asiantraveller101]

Do you publish your work? Where can I get a copy of this piece?
Thanks. Lovely piece, with great development and movement. I actually like the "jarring" chords.
Congratulations.