Grande Valse rhapsodique - Original composition

[francoisfj]

Hello, this is a yet unfinished composition I'm currently writing, I wanted to have feedback on it before I continue it so I know if I'm wasting time and I should take another direction, because I'm trying something new with this valse.

Unfortunately as I'm still writing it and it isn't exactly easy, it's played by midi

I really look forward to hear of what you think, and your recommendations/ thoughts of it

The pdf of the score is attached below as well as the mp3 file

Thank you

[josh93248]

Okay Francois, I should open by saying that I like you and what you generally try to accomplish with your work but I have serious issues with this one.

First of all the biggest problem is that the value of the music doesn't nearly compare with the difficulty involved in playing it, I don't believe any pianist capable of this piece would choose it over Chopin or Liszt or heaps of other composers' great works.

The harmony, although I haven't fully analysed it, seems really amateurish and as if it's overreaching beyond your understanding of how these things work (not that I actually know more than you, I certainly know less in fact). A lot of what happens almost feels random and uncontrolled, as if you just picked chords and progressions based on what you thought could be interesting without thinking it through.

Your figurations are a bit repetitive, it needs more variety on the small scale. The melodies are pretty odd and random, not bold and clever enough or simple and beautiful enough to really work or be memorable.

The one good thing to say that I have is that you actually do have the structure of a good idea for a piece somewhere underneath all the problems. There's some drama and drive to this piece at least.

I think you need to study your theory a bit more and learn to pay more attention to finer details. I also think it would be great if you composed more smaller easier pieces that you can play. This would also have the advantage of letting you focus on finer nuance and detail as well.

I'm really sorry to be so harsh, I think you have the potential to write something along the lines of this work someday but just not now.

[roncesvalles]

Your music often has this meandering, surreal quality.  I'd liken it to modernist music--whereas modernist music might have a logical thread of motif or color, however, I can't really find the logic here.   There is a whole lot of preluding going on, but how much of it is actually essential?   It feels like you are trying  out a lot of figures, some of which are interesting, but there are so many that it feels like showing off, rather than expressing something--I think counterpoint or the development and transformation of a motif would be more interesting.   The actual waltz, which starts towards the end but is quickly cut off, fares a little better to me.   It could benefit from being a little less short winded.  Studying Schubert closely will give you a sense on how to carry out a long melodic line with interest...here it feels like you lost patience.

Patience is the key word.   I think Josh was correct in terms of your harmony and structure.  You do a series of things that sound fine locally, on a bar to bar basis, sometimes as long as a phrase, but there feels to be little logical connection (in the right mood I can enjoy this, but on the whole it is a haphazard way of composing).  What you should set out to do is to work on planning longer range harmonic progressions and motifs that develop over time, be a little patient with your work.   As it is now, your work feels a little rushed.  If I was revising this, I would focus on the waltz part, use a longer range progression, give the melody some time to develop, and then revise the introduction keeping in mind the questions "What do I need to do in order to introduce the mood of the waltz?" and "What harmonies smoothly prepare for the first measures of the waltz?" because those harmonies, for the end of the introduction, can be modified (in a way to avoid cadencing) to be of structural importance to the introduction, so when you get to the end of the introduction, then the harmonies come in full, then it will all make sense and feel more organic.

These are just my thoughts.   I find your music interesting and surreal--it is filled with familiar romantic figuration in every piece you've done, but you've mashed it up in a kaleidoscopic way, which is highly unusual.  Keep studying the work of those you admire, melodies (their range and phrase lengths), and especially harmony.   In a way your music reminds me of my own, because I too tend to have a focus that is a bit too zoomed in, but I tend to write with a mixture of counterpoint and color in mind, compared to your romantic inspirations.

[francoisfj]

Thank you both for your comments!
I was expecting a lot of critique, and I agree with everything you said, it makes it look more clearly now though, and I'm sure of it now. This is more of a experimentation than a composition, so much I was going to name it "essai" which means trial in french, but I liked the figures obtained, I wasn't expecting to express the idea in my head relatively as concisely as that, so I named it valse after all and posted it.
The harmonies indeed aren't very sophisticated, I'll try to use the things I learnt from composing this piece in an other piece where I would take all that into account

[josh93248]

Again, I'm sorry I was so critical. Good luck with your future work!

[francoisfj]

No it's not a problem at all! It helps actually!

[stevensk]

Is that you playing or is it a midifile?

[francoisfj]

It is midi..