Dilemma on piano teachers

[domain4325]

Hi Guys,

I'm in a pretty unique situation (or so I think) and would like to seek fellow teachers and students perspective.

I'm both a piano teacher and a LRSM student, and am currently learning in a music store from a sweet lady. However, I feel that I'm not exactly "growing" under her and it is upsetting me as I felt that lessons are expensive, and I would love to absorb all kinds of knowledge I could possibly know from a teacher.

A little on my teaching background, my lessons with my students tend to be very fast paced and goal oriented. I put my students through a very structured lessons so we both know our direction in music learning. Now, when I reflect back onto my own piano lessons, I do not feel the same way.  A typical hour lesson goes on like this:

- 15mins chat about her pets (she's an animal lover and I'm not, but I respect her joy and so listens to her "stories")
- 15mins on reading through my writings for LRSM submissions, of which she corrects my sentence structure and simply rephrase. There was no suggestions in my contents! TBH, I'm a little annoyed as my English although not exactly fabulous, I thought was fine (maybe someone could let me know on my English standard after reading my post!) And when she corrects the structure, it felt like it wasn't me who have written the submission.
- 20mins on telling me her life story / siblings / parents / some mundane stuff.
- 10mins on listening to my repertoire that I practised. During this period, she could be yawning away (yea I get that I don't play exactly very well in my learning stages) or texting or picking up a phone call. Things that I do not condone even during my own lessons as I felt it is very disrespectful to my students. No feedback, just pointing out mistakes which I admitted before she could even say anything. Nothing.

When I first studied under this teacher, I thought it was interesting as it did not struck me that piano lessons could be so "personal", but it kind of annoy me to no end now. How do I change the dynamics of the lesson without being rude? What's more, her personal stories have drawn us closer together that it feels like we are some sort of relatives because I just know so much about her..

Then there is another lovely lady in the music store. Very knowledgeable, that even my teacher would seek her help if she's stuck with a certain issue on music. Almost like a walking music dictionary. I have been taught under her a few times when my own teacher could not have lessons with me. The items that we covered in one lesson were way more than what I have done in a year with my teacher! I felt so inspired and renewed after that lesson.

I was contemplating to change to the other teacher, but these 2 teachers are great friends who hangs out a lot together. I do not agree with my teacher's teaching style, but I do not wish to break her heart too as changing would obviously meant that I felt the other teacher was a better one.

Lastly, I'm trying to complete my LRSM asap as the cost is driving me crazy. My current teacher is much more flexible in students registering for the exam as she reasoned we could probably do a retake on certain portions (I'm strong in my quick study / viva voce / written reports except for the LRSM repertoires which I've yet to achieve playing consistency - I'm doing both performing and teaching dips).

The other teacher on the other hand does not agree with that, her idea is that student has to be in tip top condition even if it means taking 100yrs (kidding) and pass the entire exam in 1 attempt. If the possibility is 99.99% of passing, she would not allow the student to do so.

Sincere thanks to anyone who would take time to read this chunk 

[keypeg]

Seriously, I think you should change teachers - either to the other teacher, or to another teacher somewhere else.  It is not up to you to try to persuade the present teacher to work more seriously (professionally?) with you.  Not wanting to hurt feelings is always a hard one, but you are also paying for a professional service.

[pianotv]

Yeah that is a tough situation! Because obviously you want to get the most for your money, but you don't want to hurt her feelings. I've been in a similar situation, and ended up "politely" switching teachers. I'm friends with quite a few piano teachers (I used to teach at a music store), and I basically just said that I wanted to try a few lessons with another teacher, explaining that since teacher #1 had been teaching me for somewhere in the ballpark of a decade, I wanted a change of pace and different opinions. I don't think she was super thrilled about it, but she definitely understood and we still have a good relationship even though that was years ago! Don't know if that helps at all, just wanted to share my personal experience.

But I definitely, definitely recommend switching teachers, because your education is more important than potential temporary hurt feelings.

[dcstudio]

if she's rambling on through your lesson then neither of you are getting anything out of this...that is a tell-tale sign of serious teacher burnout...

in two years when you haven't  progressed---will you say..."well at least I didn't hurt the nice lady's feelings?"  no... you will complain and be angry that you wasted your time.


so get a new teacher...   she will survive.. in fact she will be relieved... I promise you will not hurt her feelings...  she's just going through the motions.

[domain4325]

Thank you guys for your reply. I really appreciate it. 

I guess I have known all along my decision (which is to change the teacher), but just needed that shove of confidence to get to it.

I would likely be changing to the day where she does not teach at the store... yep, I know her schedule really well due to our "chats". In my culture, we always try to avoid confrontation and she is very much elderly whom I have to give my due respect, so I would have to try to reduce as much damage as I can.

[dcstudio]

Thank you guys for your reply. I really appreciate it. 

I guess I have known all along my decision (which is to change the teacher), but just needed that shove of confidence to get to it.

I would likely be changing to the day where she does not teach at the store... yep, I know her schedule really well due to our "chats". In my culture, we always try to avoid confrontation and she is very much elderly whom I have to give my due respect, so I would have to try to reduce as much damage as I can.

find a reason to switch that doesn't directly blame her.  you can figure something out...

[domain4325]

Just to update you guys on the situation. Teacher was obviously not too please about despite her giving me some other options, could really sense the displeasure which was pretty scary... And now, I'm stuck in a situation with no teacher as apparently the other teacher didn't have the time to slot me in. So now I'm going to start on a search for a new teacher..

[dcstudio]

Let's hope there's a worthy teacher for you at the end of this 

I think that in you case, you can learn more from YT vids than from this teacher...

pretty scary huh?   wow...