Give me a nudge, but not a push

[bernadette60614]

My mother died after many months in hospice, and I've been away from the piano.  I also stopped taking lessons.  I've signed up for lessons at an institute (which has a wonderful program of musicanship to complement private instruction).

But, I can't get myself back to the keyboard.  I don't know if it was the 6 month absence or something else, but I just can't seem to regain that zest.

Any advice would be appreciated!~

[georgey]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. My mother died 3 years ago as of yesterday.  I think a good way to start is pick an easy piece that you like and know well and play it once a day for a week.  Just play it once then stop for the first week. This should help get you started. 

[dogperson]

What does just listening to good music, whether it be orchestrations or piano solos, do for you?  You might find it motivating to practice.  So much of our determination and concentration can be fragile-- and you have been through a tough period where it takes time to heal.  Be patient with yourself on your journey back.

[dcstudio]

That's very sad and I am sorry for your loss.   There are two schools of thought generally for this very problem---one says to wait and let it happen naturally.  Another, of course, says to jump back in and force yourself until your regain that momentum you seek.

I have seen both work.  another teacher at a studio I worked at had a student who was brutally victimized the case was on the news and it was pretty horrific...she was 12.  The doctor all but demanded she return to the piano at once as soon as she was out of the hospital.  It was very tough at first but she got back in the swing and did quite well.
 
One of my students lost his father suddenly in a highly publicized accident... he was gone from lessons for about 18 months but returned out of the blue one day and again... did quite well.

be patient with yourself.     it will come back.

[bronnestam]

I am so sorry to read about this.

Well, piano isn't everything. It happens to me as well, although I have not been through any bigger personal disaster lately, just the everyday issues with too much work, troublesome kids etcetera. During these tough periods I go easy with myself, I let the piano rest if I don't feel I can focus on it anyway. But I come back, and I find that it is good healing for me.
Doing this - just sit at the piano and totally indulge in the task of making a nice transition between two chords or get better hand moves in bar 23-27, that is like meditation to me. To **** with the rest of the world, THIS is what matters to me right now. That feeling is sometimes very good for my soul.

A way to find your way back to the piano is to engage in many activities around piano playing. Go to concerts, listen to concerts, watch streamings and videos, read articles, visit discussion boards like this one (yes!), go to piano shops and try new models out just for fun, read books about technique, about composers, try to find something new. The more attachment points and associations you get to piano playing, the more you will be attracted to it, and it will be an important part of your life again. I guess that the majority of your mental "attachment points" right now have to do with your mother in one way or the other, there is where you have your focus. This is totally logical and you shouldn't have done anything differently. But now you must move your focus again, and that means that you mentally have to move your whole world again, it is not about just one isolated activity or two. It is not done in an instant either.

But even if you need a lot of these associations, you also need to concentrate. So, when you feel ready to begin with your own practice again, maybe you should start ambitiously on a deep detail level, like working with just four bars in one piece or something. This will make you remember what it was like. Just a suggestion, maybe it will work for you, maybe not.