I've got the blahs... [Bob asks]

[Bob]

How do you get out of this?

Sheer willpower?  A change of some sort?

I've got stuff to do and things I want to do.  I know that given this situation I will probably only be able to do a little better than I've done before.  There's not time to dive in and break new ground and do really well (which is what I find exciting).  It's the same old, same old.

[rachlisztchopin]

huh? 

[Bob]

the blahs, the blues, bummed out, don't feel like doing anything....

(begins to sing the blues)










(glad you can't hear that from the writing)


I mean depressed.  But only slightly.  Not clinically depressed.  And it's not from the holidays, although that could be part.  It's more of a doldrums -- no wind, no motivation.  It's happened before, but I was wondering if anyone had any ideas for how to get out of it -- ie  Willpower- force myself back to work.  Change- a new environment or some sort.   I don't know.  I'm just tired of working on things.  Seems like it's the same old, same old.

[annabell]

take a break to get lots of exercise.... seriously.. go for a 14 mile walk.  Eat a good dinner.. Clean and organize then wake the next morning.

[donjuan]

sometimes I feel depressed too.  Not suffering from depression, but have occasional bouts of "what the hell is the point of waking up every day?"

It's strange how music is the only thing nowadays that brings me such pleasure and grief all at the same time.  After a performance I have been preparing for for such a long time, I usually have a bitter directionless feeling that life is just one damned thing after another.

This is the thing about music - why do you play piano?  why do you put in the effort?  We arent going to be rich by playing the piano, most of us will never be famous, and we all are going to die one day so what's the bloody point?

It is times like these I dont want to play piano, eat, or do anything I once enjoyed.  I just want to slip away into darkness and sleep, perchance to dream of a perfect world with crystal blue beaches all around, no pain and suffering, and eternal bliss where there are no desires but only freedoms

sigh Im tired in every way imaginable right now...just know you are not alone here, Bob.

donjuan 

[Tash]

yep bob i know how you mean- i get it really badly in the holidays when i have nothing to do, not even a piano lesson to work for, so i sit at home and then start moping about really really stupid things and get into bad moods. but i plan on stopping that with the new year!
donjuan i completely agree with everything you said. there are sometimes when i think wouldn't it just be easier if i just followed the crowd and listened to 'normal' music instead of having this constant struggle with not being able to relate to my friends- cos seriously music is such a major part of my life the difference between what i listen to and what my friends listen to is huge, and then i'm like what's the point. and then i listen to my fave pieces and remember that the struggle is worth it and they're just missing out on some really great stuff.
feeling bitter after a performance i know that, i'll come out happy that it's over and be like oh yeah that was fine, and then i'll start thinking about it and be like my god that was crap and then it just goes downhill from there...and then i go to bed at like 7pm in the hope of sleeping for another 14hrs....

oh let's all have a nice fat D&M (deep and meaningful for thos who don't know what that stands for) and let out our woes

have a cry, you'll feel better in the morning...or even more bitter as it sometimes tends to be the case.

but it'll get better eventually! my motto for living is that it can only eventually get better, there's always tomorrow so don't get caught up today. i find that just leaving my house on my own and aimlessly walking around the city helps. dunno why...

[kaff]

I agree with Annabell.  Hard exercise, something that uses the large muscle groups and gets you out of breath.  I personally favour cycling several miles, preferably up a bit of a slope, or else swimming.  It doesn't matter what you choose, but it has to be hard enough work to get you breathing faster and sweating a bit.  I guarantee you it will work, but you've got to do it like you mean it.

Kathryn

[Bob]

Yes, the exercise thing.  I've done that before.  I remember now.  It gets you all pumped and ready to get stuff done.  (then you soon discover if you have the energy to go through with all those plans)

Thanks for the ideas.  I'd be interested in hearing any more anyone has.

[Bluethroat]

What to do? Anything. Sounds empty I know, but speaking from experience I tend to find that once I achieve one small thing I get on a roll and it has a kind of knock on effect. It's just getting past the initial obstacle and then you're off! Away! Free from the shackles of holiday lethargy to find a new vigour with which to pursue more creative routes to happiness! Yipeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

[dlu]

Oooooh....poor Bob!!! Why don't you play some err...MOZART!!! That will cheer yee all up!! Think major keys, major keys...
DLu

[wynnbear]

If you're feeling too lazy to exercize, then an option is to give yourself a treat. 

That can be just about anything.  Buy yourself something you've been wanting.  Do something you've been wanting to do, but never found time for.

Go ahead, treat yourself.  You deserve it.   

[Allan]

Couple of humble suggestions:

1.)  Get a good cd of Bach.  Some of those majestic and wonderful Preludes and Fugues pick me right up.  (Not "stuffy" recordings, but fun recordings, like V. Fox's awesome cds).
2.)  I agree with exercise.  A little bit helps me a great deal. 
3.)  Try a new hobby in 2005, particularly one which involves other people.

God's power to you.
_______
"The joy of the Lord is your strength."  (Neh. 8:10)

[Jack Appleseed]

Annabell is right.  do something physical.  Get outdoors and go skiing or surfing or walking....

ja

[Bob]

Yes, work on one small thing successfully.  That worked today.


Part of it is the feeling of all this work hanging over my head.

A treat could be good.  Or just change.  Let it all go and do something new, or do one thing the right way.

Listening to expressive music.


Good ideas.  Thank you all.  If anyone knows how to deal with that "world is hanging over your head" dread, let me know.

[Tash]

bach piano concertos always lift my spriits! and the brandengurg concertos, especially nos 4 5 and 6. i was once listening to a mix of all this on the train and thought 'if everyone was listening to this right now they wouldn't look so d*mn miserable'

[Bluethroat]

Yes, work on one small thing successfully. That worked today.


Part of it is the feeling of all this work hanging over my head.

A treat could be good. Or just change. Let it all go and do something new, or do one thing the right way.

Listening to expressive music.


Good ideas. Thank you all. If anyone knows how to deal with that "world is hanging over your head" dread, let me know.

That reminds me of how my partner says he feels once a year - usually in the summer though in his case.
Are you a big picture kind of person Bob?
If you feel like you've got the world hanging over you maybe you could do with breaking it down into smaller pieces first so it starts to feel a little less weighty.
Just a thought.

[luda888]

just blast some hard rock!!!!

[donjuan]

Hey Bob, maybe watch "American Beauty" with Kevin Spacey.  I love watching that when I feel down because he is back on his feet by the end....until that gay guy killed him...

[Bob]

That was an interesting movie.  There are a few movies that resonante and those are ones worth keeping around if they help you like that.

(goes to blash some hard rock)

[m1469]

the blahs, the blues, bummed out, don't feel like doing anything....

I mean depressed.  But only slightly.  Not clinically depressed.  And it's not from the holidays, although that could be part.  It's more of a doldrums -- no wind, no motivation.  It's happened before, but I was wondering if anyone had any ideas for how to get out of it -- ie  Willpower- force myself back to work.  Change- a new environment or some sort.   I don't know.  I'm just tired of working on things.  Seems like it's the same old, same old.

Hi Bob-  I know you have had a lot of responses already, but I just felt like responding to you also.  So I am.

Here is the thing... I think that we always have it in us to get out of the hard times.  Sometimes it can seem deeply mysterious as to how exactly, but that is not my main point.  My main point is that although I know there are honest to goodness reasons for the "blahs" at times, maybe things just aren't going so well, it is always a decision one makes as to what one does about it.

One has to decide that they do indeed want to climb out.  It is somewhat of a mental game I have found.  We get stuck somewhere and think we are this way or that way and that we just have no choice about it.  It becomes one's identity even it seems... to be down.  Because of this, sometimes it is difficult to truly want to change, it is natural to want to hold onto who we think we are.  Especially if one deeply seekss to find one's self, and always wants to know more about life, it is tempting to hold onto whatever one thinks one has learned.  But it is often necessary to let go.

Perhaps the blahs come when you are scared to look forward.  Perhaps they come when there is nothing that is very clear to see. 

As musicians and performers, one must learn to rely on intuition and trust.  It is no different than in the rest of how one lives their life.  Ultimately one has a decision to make, that's all it is.  How do you want to spend your time?  How do you want to live your life?  While it is good to remember that life is long, at the same time every moment counts, even if it doesn't always seem this way. 

Sometimes we need honest to goodness help from someone else and it is very fortunate when that is there.  But, the decision from you to move must come first.

Here are some things that I have found to be helpful (aside from piano):

1.  Serious exercise (as mentioned above)

2.  Meditation

3.  Something creative... writing, drawing, painting, beading, wood working, etc

4.  Writing a list of everything you need to do just to get it out of your head (sometimes the blahs come as a result of having a large load of things to do and not knowing where to begin, and getting overwhelmed)

5.  Walks in nature

6.  Talks with dear friends

7.  Honest to goodness crying sessions

8.  Learning a new word in whatever language interests you

9.  Walk outside your front door and just listen to whatever you can hear.  See how many different things you can identify, and just listen.  Try to feel the rhythm of the "whole" and know you are part of everything moving around you.

This one sounds really strange... but if you are desparate enough... DO IT (it really works)!

10.  Stare yourself down in the mirror.  Find yourself within the image looking back at you.  Beyond everything you are afraid of, beyond everything you are hoping to be.  Once you see yourself, your true self, give yourself a warm smile and then a very stern talking to, or a very loving talking to, or both.  Whatever it takes to get your feet back under yourself.  Promise yourself you will keep fighting and that you won't give up, and mean it!

These are just some of my thoughts.  Wish you the best,

m1469 Fox
 

[Bob]

Interesint m1469.  Thanks.

... the idea about 'creating' your own mentality.

... mediation to clear out the mind.

... getting organized.  Part of having clear plans.


I'll pass on the crying.   (except for pf's )

lol.... new words.  Like those new French words that pop out of people's mouths... lol...



... refocusing the mind.  The mediation again.  Or just awareness.  Listening.  Goes along with the exercise idea in a way.

... Long-term goals and plans.  Evaluating the course of your life and making adjustments.

... hanging in there.  Kind of like the idea of forcing yourself to work.  Tough it out. 


Thanks m1469!

[ChristmasCarol]

There's a great song, "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues".  I find when I sing the Blues, I cheer up.  You know Eubie Blakes' tune "Weary"?  One great line is.... Just because I laugh people think i'm gay, never had a single care.  They don't know the half when I laugh this way I'm only hiding my despair."  Something about letting it rip cheers me up.  So maybe a couple of pops (can't believe no one else has mentioned this) at a great blues bar...   It strikes me to mention that some of your posts have given me great laugh out loud moments. 
Thanks.

[Egon von Sprocket]

How do you get out of this?

Sheer willpower?  A change of some sort?

I've got stuff to do and things I want to do.  I know that given this situation I will probably only be able to do a little better than I've done before.  There's not time to dive in and break new ground and do really well (which is what I find exciting).  It's the same old, same old.

Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even tho' it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by,

If you smile
thro' your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness,
Al -'tho a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time,
You must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worth-while,

If you just smile,