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How to deal with false rumors? (Read 1161 times)

Offline opus43

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How to deal with false rumors?
« on: May 13, 2016, 01:58:58 AM »
Hello,
   In school somebody has been spreading horrible rumors about me. The rumors allege that I bullied a certain person by whipping him with jumpropes during recess time in elementary school. However, it's the exact opposite: I, and another student, was the victim of this bullying, multiple times, by the alleged 'victim' in the rumors. (Of course, the rumors are exaggerated; I was by no means 'whipped'; I was merely intentionally hit and scraped by the jumpropes, which the kid was attempting to use as a whip.)

   I have a suspicion that the 'victim' of my alleged bullying has been spreading these framing lies. He even has an advantage in making it very believable: I am one of the taller students in the grade, and he is one of the shortest. And, I know how much this kid will lie: when I told my parents and they told the teacher (who had either not noticed, or maybe even supported the bullying), the kid's parents (who had not witnessed anything) said that he had not done a thing. So, this kid got out of big trouble. Go figure.

   So, please, give me suggestions to what can be done to let Truth shine in her glory. I really do not want to have a tarnished image,and definitely when the causers of the tarnishing are blatant lies. Please, would any of you lend me some of the spawn of your creativity that can help me solve this?

    Thank you so much,  
            Opus43
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Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: How to deal with false rumors?
«Reply #1 on: May 13, 2016, 02:13:04 AM »
You don't want to be friends with people who listen to rumours or even bother to gain any form of respect. Unfortunately those who mindlessly follow rumours don't realize that what they "know" and what they "think" are two different things. Your school yard reputation is useless and meaningless when you leave school, of course that doesn't make dealing with it while you are there is any easier. Just realize when you leave school you I'll come across people who haven't grown up and act like this. It's a good lessons to go through and you will realize ignoring these people and not adding fuel to their false fire is best. Get on with life and let these morons live in their own hell of lies don't get trapped by their meaningless life.
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Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: How to deal with false rumors?
«Reply #2 on: May 13, 2016, 02:14:55 AM »
You have a few options

don't it get to you.  If everyone thinks you're a dick, so what?  *** em and if they ask you about it just tell them the truth.  This is about elementary school it's not a big deal.  If they aren't feeding you, financing you, or f-ing you, then their opinion doesn't matter.  There was a rumor going on when I was in middle school saying that I watch baby porn.  But I didn't give a sh*t.  *** em.  But if it gets to the point where people are actually bulling you for it, you have other option(s).

Tell the kid to stop spreading rumors and tell everyone that he's lying.  I mean go up to his face during lunch and tell him straight up to stop *** around.  If he doesn't stop, whoop his ass.  That'll make him stop.

If nothing else works, I can promise you that a good ol' ass whoopin will set people straight 100% of the time.
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Offline opus43

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Re: How to deal with false rumors?
«Reply #3 on: May 13, 2016, 03:18:13 AM »
Thank you, you two!

I hope you have a nice day :)

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Offline briansaddleback

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Re: How to deal with false rumors?
«Reply #4 on: May 13, 2016, 06:32:04 AM »
^so preeettty
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Offline Bob

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Re: How to deal with false rumors?
«Reply #5 on: May 14, 2016, 06:14:45 AM »
I've had things happen professionally.  Fairly specific rumor so I can't post it, but a principal still invited me into the office and asked me if it was true -- while we both knew it was nuts. 

Doesn't matter what it is.  People can believe it.  It's mob mentally.  Doesn't have to make sense or be rational.

You can't completely ignore it.  It lives on its own.  Perception is reality.  That idea.  If a lot of people believe it, the idea becomes true enough.

But you don't want to make a point of denying it.  That can make it appear even more true.  And you start spreading the rumor yourself that way. 

What I would do -- If asked, laugh it off and explain it reasonably.  Or possibly even give something that's a bit false/made up, but in your favor.  In the jump rope story I glanced at above, if someone asked, you might say something like, "Yeah, I heard about that.  Talk about how things get twisted around.  Ever hear of the telephone game?  The truth is that kid had the jump rope.  And, he was the one spinning the rope around.  We were just standing nearby.  I don't know how that grew out of proportion.  I even heard people saying I was whipping him with a rope.  Some people..."   Leaving out any indication if you were getting bullied by the kid since it could make you look bad. 

If it's a professional job setting I'd email my supervisor so it's in writing and then actually talk to them about it.

Also keep in mind -- People are stupid, including those who can influence you, your job, your situation.  One influential thing is the first impression or getting them the information first in this case.  If they hear the rumor, that becomes somewhat true even if they know if it's false.  If they've heard it already, then you're coming along trying to reshape their incorrect idea.  If you present them with the information first, that's their first impression and what they'll compare the rumor to.  So the key point is to "strike first" and get them the info first.  I'm thinking more professional environment and a supervisor for this.

If it's a jump rope situation, it might not be that big of a deal really.  If you want to influence your friends, you could say something like, "X happened in the past.  But you know what?  I actually heard people saying Y happened.  Can you believe that?  It's like a giant telephone game..."  You give them your info first, then present the false info as false.  Then kind of laugh it off.  If they're your friends, they're going to believe you anyway.  If they're not, you'll be a neutral figure and have given them some reasonable explanation for the rumor.  If they're already biased against you, it doesn't matter what you do. 
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline outin

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Re: How to deal with false rumors?
«Reply #6 on: May 14, 2016, 07:26:03 AM »
There's always the option to make the false rumours true by actually whipping his arse...Other than that there's actually little one can do except ignore and let the people make their own minds about you. Only in (Hollywood) movies does the truth come out in the end and the bad one's have to pay. Real life is unfair. Then again those who are easy to work with and know how to behave mostly have it easier in the long run. Only the very smart and very wicked will thrive despite their lack of manners  ;)

Offline Bob

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Re: How to deal with false rumors?
«Reply #7 on: May 14, 2016, 03:08:57 PM »
Haha. Yes, say it was true.  You beat him up with a jump rope because he was torturing cats, something like that.
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."