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What the heck do I do?!?!?! (Read 920 times)

Offline cuberdrift

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What the heck do I do?!?!?!
« on: July 28, 2017, 02:35:20 PM »
 >:( :-\ ???

I want to be:

1) Able to play ALL my college rep WELL,
2) Get a physically fit, handsome body, and
3) Have better social skills and charisma.

But I CAN'T DO THEM!!!

Everyday I wake up, I feel like DOING SOMETHING ELSE.

I just want to eat good food, play computer games, do Facebook, etc.

How the hell do I improve?

Any suggestions?
This has been bugging me for about a year now.

Thank you very much in advance,
cuberdrift

P.S. I know I may sound whiny and sh*t, but seriously...you might tell me to "think it through" or "only you can solve it". I have been following this train of thought ALL THE TIME, and somehow, I haven't been able to solve this problem.  :-\  :'(

Online ahinton

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #1 on: July 28, 2017, 04:20:51 PM »
I want to be:

1) Able to play ALL my college rep WELL,
2) Get a physically fit, handsome body, and
3) Have better social skills and charisma.

1) Practise diligently, intelligently and with patience,
2) Exercise
3) Be nice to people.

No guarantees any more than in anything else in life, of course, but worth a try nevertheless.

Best,

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline ted

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #2 on: July 29, 2017, 01:45:50 AM »
It is just a question of establishing an overall, commonsense discipline with a view to the big picture, and to weigh the benefits of immediate gratification against those of long-term satisfaction. You don't have to become a wowser or forsake spontaneous delights altogether, not at all. Start by applying moderation in terms of time spent on things. Allocate yourself thirty minutes of gaming then an hour of working on music, half an hour of Facebook then an hour of training. Stick to your schedule until a balanced discipline is established, which process will probably take no more than a month or two.
"We're all bums when the wagon comes." - Waller

Offline outin

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #3 on: July 29, 2017, 03:40:12 AM »
Or you could just enjoy life being who you are...

To be honest I am not sure whether I'd be any happier if was more disciplined. I have always preferred instand gratification to waiting or working towards long term goals. I can be dead tomorrow, so better enjoy today as much as I can :)

The only reason I somewhat progress in my playing is because I actually do enjoy the work.

In fact the reason I am somewhat successfull in my professional life is the same: I enjoy solving the kind of challenges it presents me. I have refused some other better payed opportunities because I find much of the work too boring.

So maybe think about what exactly you want to do for the rest of your life? You can of course train youself to do things by habit, but if you still do not enjoy it, what's the point?

But if you still do want a change you do it by small steps, introducing new routines little by little. One good way is to start first thing in the morning. Have a proper (means no junk food full of grease, salt and sugar) breakfast and then start to work. That removes the guilt that you build up during the day of not doing what you should do, which just makes it more difficult to actually start.

Offline emill

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #4 on: July 30, 2017, 04:31:01 AM »
It is just a question of establishing an overall, commonsense discipline with a view to the big picture, and to weigh the benefits of immediate gratification against those of long-term satisfaction. You don't have to become a wowser or forsake spontaneous delights altogether, not at all. Start by applying moderation in terms of time spent on things. Allocate yourself thirty minutes of gaming then an hour of working on music, half an hour of Facebook then an hour of training. Stick to your schedule until a balanced discipline is established, which process will probably take no more than a month or two.

GOOD ADVICE ... might work for cuberdrift . .. but one has to be very honest with oneself.
 
When I was in college, I had to grapple with the fact that I was lazy, which, coupled with the easy-going academic atmosphere, resulted in my mediocre transcript of records.  One thing became clear to me though, I worked best under extreme pressure. So that after being absent 50% of the time, eating, drinking and doing so many other things not related to school, I had to do something spectacular, like topping the exams or producing an excellent paper just to pass the subject which I would focus on just 2-3 days before "doomsday".

However, during my 4 year postgraduate, the academic atmosphere changed to "dog-eat-dog" or  "study until your brain bursts or you die" ....  which produced the best grades and performance I ever had as a student. 

My point is,  motivation and challenge are paramount and often brings out the best in us.     
member on behalf of my son, Lorenzo

Offline c_minor

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #5 on: July 30, 2017, 09:42:14 AM »
1) quit facebook
2) quit facebook
3) quit facebook

But I guess that's impossible, since social media seems to be a "necessary evil" at present..


Offline Bob

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #6 on: July 30, 2017, 12:16:12 PM »
Keep working and figure more out.

It's probably not as doom and gloom as you might think.  You might be off (and probably are compared to what you'll figure out and realize later).

Besides the "what IS right now" assessment being off, your goals might be off too.  What you're expecting might not be realistic, for you, for anyone.  Or the goal might be more difficult than you think.  Or what you think others are doing (already achieved that goal) might not be true -- You might just be thinking they achieved that goal but they only have the appearance of it sometimes.

You can't predict the future.  Good or bad, you don't know what the situation will be like tomorrow (future tomorrows).  There's a good chance whatever you think/predict will happen won't become reality.  Some good, some bad, but probably different than what you'd predict now.

Everything is changing, including you.  The piano, the music doesn't change, but you brain and body will.  The situation in the future might be different and you brain/body may have adjusted.  Whatever you're concerned with now might be irrelevant in the future.  (You'll probably be worried about and focusing on other things.) 

So why worry about it?  It probably won't help.  You have to put some effort in to make improvements, so do that.  And then hope for the best.  Adjust as needed. 

And watch out for yourself.  Your own thinking can hold you back, esp. if it's adding things up to make it sound hopeless a bit like I sense in the first post.  (That's not necessarily bad.  If you get bummed out, you rest/recover more, and then you're ready to go again later.)
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #7 on: August 02, 2017, 04:30:29 PM »
1.  You already know what to do
2.  No sugar or salt and find a workout partner to guide you when you first start lifting so you don't look like an idiot at the gym
3.  Be yourself

4.  The only thing you should worry about is being happy.  Good repertoire a nice body and social skills is easy come easy go
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline klavieronin

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #8 on: August 03, 2017, 02:54:17 AM »
I don't have the answer but maybe try starting small. Spend only a short period per day on the things you are working on but make sure you do it. When you have built up a habit, add a few minutes extra on top of that. From there gradually build your routine up until you have reached something that is realistic and manageable. Just remember that something is better than nothing.

Offline cuberdrift

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #9 on: August 04, 2017, 02:14:44 PM »
Love all the responses!!! Thanks much.

I'll respond more to this in detail but first I have to note that this:

Quote
4.  The only thing you should worry about is being happy.

It seems like Epicurean philosophy in one statement? Will consider this.  :)

Offline timothy42b

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #10 on: August 04, 2017, 03:25:39 PM »
>:( :-\ ???

I want to be:

1) Able to play ALL my college rep WELL,

Not gonna happen.

Set your goal to:  able to play all my college rep 1% better.

Over time, that 1% will add up.  But it isn't so intimidating, and there's a chance you'll do it.

Same goes for all your other goals. 
Tim

Offline quantum

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #11 on: August 05, 2017, 08:53:59 AM »
You can have it all, across the span of a lifetime.  You just can't have all of it at the same time.

When you wake up, choose one thing to do.  Work on that one thing for a bit of time, then change to the next activity.  Repeat.  Don't try to work at all of it  at the same time.  Define a manageable chunk of work, and do that for a short period. Over a longer period you will see that all these small chunks of work add up. 

Made a Liszt. Need new Handel's for Soler panel & Alkan foil. Will Faure Stein on the way to pick up Mendels' sohn. Josquin get Wolfgangs Schu with Clara. Gone Chopin, I'll be Bach

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #12 on: August 05, 2017, 02:21:46 PM »
You can have it all, across the span of a lifetime.  You just can't have all of it at the same time.




What're you talking about I have it all at the same time lol so why can't he?
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #13 on: August 05, 2017, 02:25:55 PM »
Love all the responses!!! Thanks much.

I'll respond more to this in detail but first I have to note that this:

It seems like Epicurean philosophy in one statement? Will consider this.  :)

Dude that's the ONLY thing you need.

You can have all the stuff you want but if you ain't happy it don't mean sh*t

For example...

I was NEVER self conscious about my body until I started lifting.  I like the way I look now more than I did before, but dead ass I was happier when I was a super skinny scrawny dude cause I just didn't care.  And I always wanted to be good with social skills and women and be popular but now they just get on my damn nerves. >:(

So all that stuff is easy come easy go just do what you think is fun.  The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline quantum

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #14 on: August 05, 2017, 07:03:54 PM »
What're you talking about I have it all at the same time lol so why can't he?

Aren't you supposed to be the most interesting pianist in the world?   ;)

Made a Liszt. Need new Handel's for Soler panel & Alkan foil. Will Faure Stein on the way to pick up Mendels' sohn. Josquin get Wolfgangs Schu with Clara. Gone Chopin, I'll be Bach

Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #15 on: August 06, 2017, 06:49:06 PM »
... I CAN'T DO THEM!!!

Everyday I wake up, I feel like DOING SOMETHING ELSE.

This has been bugging me for about a year now.

First and foremost you have to like who you are now or you simply will always be chasing the wind looking for happiness.

Do you have a real hunger to succeed or are you are just infatuated with the idea of succeeding? Developing an unnatural personality to improve your social life/charisma is unhealthy and would be rather exhausting, you can't put up that facade for long and you will attract people who probably have no true connection with who you really are, in the end you waste your time/life living a lie.

"The biggest risk in life is to take no risk at all."
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Offline klavieronin

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #16 on: August 07, 2017, 02:28:23 AM »
Developing an unnatural personality to improve your social life/charisma is unhealthy and would be rather exhausting, you can't put up that facade for long and you will attract people who probably have no true connection with who you really are, in the end you waste your time/life living a lie.
I can relate to this and you are absolutely right! Much better to learn to be comfortable with who you are. That doesn't mean, of course, that you shouldn't have ambitions. Just make sure that your ambitions reflect who you are as an individual.

Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: What the heck do I do?!?!?!
«Reply #17 on: August 07, 2017, 08:20:02 PM »
Aren't you supposed to be the most interesting pianist in the world?   ;)



That's the dream 8)
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.