Sonata (personal composition)

[obtuserecluse]

Hi! This sonata allegro movement is one of my last style writing projects for uni before dropping out. It's meant to emulate Mozart's stylistic traits.
The development section is the only place I can say I was able to creatively go adrift.
Again, on synthesia, both my greatest enemy and a huge necessity.
Suggestions are more than welcome!!
Enjoy!

[lelle]

Cool piece! I have tried writing a sonata or two to emulate Mozart's style, and it's really hard, man. It seems so effortless when you read his scores but he really had a sense of melody and proportion that is hard to copy.

I might have a suggestion but I'm curious if there's anything you'd want to change if you went back to write this piece again today?

[obtuserecluse]

Thanks, man!! There's so much I'd change, actually. From the top of my head, it would have to do with the scalar transitional material in the exposition (sounds a bit odd with all those leading tones for the top of the scale), the beginning of the development (too thin, a bit uninteresting), some other places that are a bit too repetitive, some changes of register that sound unnatural. That's all I can say for the moment, but I'd certainly find more at a much deeper look in the score.

Can you tell me your suggestions? Every external point of view helps me not only when it comes to this piece, but generally, as a composer.

[quantum]

Very good!  You have a good grasp on the stylistic elements.

[lelle]

The first thing I had in mind was the transition to the second group starting from m 17. There is just something with the steady descent towards a lower register that irked me. I kind of want it to go to a higher register in m 18 before you go back to the same register as before in m 19. Not sure exactly how that works and I can't motivate it with any compositional "rules", I just kind of miss a high point before the final descent to D major or variety or *something*.

This is pedantic but in m 43 you need to spell the left hand properly (e sharp instead of f natural)

In the development section with the pedal point from m 68 my ear kind of start wanting some variety and hear something else than the G in the left hand already before you start modulating in m 76. Not sure exactly how that would look but my ear started wanting some kind of sequence or variety or somethin'.

M 100 I was thinking maybe you could do a more creative gesture than a static "trill" (sort of) to get back to the theme? Something more scale-y that continues or is more naturally born from the motivic idea you use in the bar before?

[obtuserecluse]

Quantum- many, many thanks!

lelle- Oh, wow. These are exactly the places I'm not happy with. I remember writing that loooong and monotonous G pedal before my exam, but didn't try to find something that adds to it. Initially, it was a horrible fugato.

The transition to the second theme is uninspired. Don't momentarily know what to do with it, but I'll eventually find something.

The thing is... the places I'm superficial with end up sounding like that. And I admit I'm not really patient.. 

Oh, and the f natural instead of e sharp is possibly due to speed and the above mentioned superificailty. My scores are full of mistakes of that kind. (and of other kinds  )

Thank you truly for taking the time to look over it and make those remarks. Means much.

[lelle]

The thing is... the places I'm superficial with end up sounding like that.

Kind of makes sense though, doesn't it? 

I think the sonata overall is very cool. I have certainly tried and failed writing something like this so I know it's not easy.

[kalospiano]

very well done, you certainly nailed the intended style!