"identity" as a musician

[m1469]

I have been thinking for a while now on what it takes to be the best musician/pianist one can be or the best teacher of these things one can be.  I wonder, must this be or become one's very identity (and this probably carries over into other fields of endeavor as well, for example: science)?

"I am a pianist"
"I am a teacher"

Generally, do you consciously work to maintain a balance with your music and then the "rest of your life"?

I am mainly just interested in what others do and how you think on these things (and hoping to gain a little perspective).


m1469

[dinosaurtales]

What a superb post!  Identity is in multiple parts:  how I see myself,  how others see me.

I AM an IT Computer Specialist .  I have always hated my line of work, but it pays the bills.  That's about it.  So even though this is what I am (probalby what others would see me as) I don't like to think of myself as an IT person - yuck.

I see myself as a pianist. 

Ironically, I play in a band, where others see me as a clarinestist, and a pianist "also". 

My husband thinks of music as a fun "after school" activity, not worthy of genuine importance - that would be silly, really. My parents think musicians are "very strange" people - they are not musical at all - surprised?  Given the attitudes surrounding me, I generally avoid stupid conversation by keeping my own version of my identity to myself.  If I actually said to other people that I consider myself a pianist, above all else, they would wonder why I was not a more spectacular pianist (because I have to practice in my SPARE time, that's why and never went to music school.) That restriciton doesn't take the love away.

I would love to hear others' views on this topic, because it's very interesting.  Thanks m1469!

[Bob]

  I wonder, must this be or become one's very identity?

Yes.

I did this at one point.  I made a conscious decision that that is who I am.  I also decided who I am not.

"I am a pianist"
"I am a teacher"

Generally, do you consciously work to maintain a balance with your music and then the "rest of your life"?
 

Being a pianist and a teacher are two huge jobs.  Those are two different directions, although they can be closely related.  They take a lot of effort.  There's not much time for anything else.

I think you have to decide who you are and how much you can and will devote to each area.  The fewer directions you try to develop in, the farther you can go in each direction.  It depends what works for you, what you live with, what you can make a living at, etc.

[ted]

I am first a human being who takes particular delight in thinking and creating. For much of my life, music has been the main vehicle for such expression because I decided that it should be so. Like our friend DinosaurTales, I have earned my living through computers for many years. I probably differ in that, outside work, the coding of algorithmic art and music offers me another creative outlet. In other words, although what I do at work is not terribly interesting, I do find devising algorithms, coding them and experimenting with them creatively satisfying, and I indulge this activity at home.

Although music is very important to me it does not define me as a human being and my psyche would not collapse should I suddenly be incapable of playing it. I would redirect the imperative to create. Objectively, I think I might have something individual to contribute in the field (aside from the purely self-transcending aspects we were discussing earlier on). I have therefore decided to put more energy and time into it to see what happens. It’s all quite deliberate; I am not in thrall to it as the drunkard to the bottle.

These facets of me, and many more I haven’t mentioned, are in the last analysis components to be synthesized (“balance” and “synthesis” are, to a certain degree, interchangeable, although I prefer “synthesis” because of its greater implication of oneness and stability) into something else far more important than the sum of its separate parts. The components, for example music, must reflect the integration and stasis of this greater thing which, ideally, should encompass every single thought and experience and bond them into a unity.

At that stage, m1469, I shall stop short of expounding on my religious philosophy and the necessity and nature of a  foundation myth, but I’m sure you know all about those things and I’m sure you know enough about me by now to get the general picture.

Cheers,
Ted.

[anda]

I have been thinking for a while now on what it takes to be the best musician/pianist one can be or the best teacher of these things one can be.  I wonder, must this be or become one's very identity (and this probably carries over into other fields of endeavor as well, for example: science)?

"I am a pianist"
"I am a teacher"

i hope i will become a true pianist. for the time being, i am playing the piano (and sometimes i even play like a pianist )

i will never be a teacher - as identity - nor do i wish for this. "teacher" is a common word, my students use it in relation with me. however, all truth be said, i consider myself an older more experienced colleague who can give them some (mostly good) advices.

Generally, do you consciously work to maintain a balance with your music and then the "rest of your life"?

well, if i had a "rest of my life", i'd probably work on that balance

just kidding. but not about the balance: statistically i spend 5-6 hours a day teaching, 5-6 practicing and rehearsing (chamber music), 2-3 for myself (mostly with friends), 1-2 on domestic chores and about 1 hour on the internet (priorities approximately in this order - but may vary from one period to another)

can you keep the balance? if you do, sincere congratulations

[mound]

I AM an IT Computer Specialist .  I have always hated my line of work, but it pays the bills.  That's about it.  So even though this is what I am (probalby what others would see me as) I don't like to think of myself as an IT person - yuck.

Me too, me too and for me too!

I see myself as a pianist. 

Me too! (and a bassist)

Ironically, I play in a band, where others see me as a clarinestist, and a pianist "also". 

Me too! (well, the band broke up, and I was the bassist, but that was the case)

My parents think musicians are "very strange" people - they are not musical at all - surprised?  Given the attitudes surrounding me, I generally avoid stupid conversation by keeping my own version of my identity to myself. 

Me too! But even though when I'm with my parents, it's always "play the piano for us" - my parents, I'm sure, would never refer to me as "a pianist" or even "a musician" when talking to somebody else about me.

If I actually said to other people that I consider myself a pianist, above all else, they would wonder why I was not a more spectacular pianist (because I have to practice in my SPARE time, that's why and never went to music school.) That restriciton doesn't take the love away.

I hear ya. When people ask me "what are you?" or "what do you do?" - whle I know exactly that they are asking about my profession,  I'll say "alot of things" and if they ask me to ellaborate (which they will), I always list my professional job last, and that's because I work to live, not the other way around (unfortunately, at least here in the US, most folks are the other way around, and it's sad if you ask me)

-Paul

[m1469]

I am first a human being who takes particular delight in thinking and creating. For much of my life, music has been the main vehicle for such expression because I decided that it should be so. Like our friend DinosaurTales, I have earned my living through computers for many years. I probably differ in that, outside work, the coding of algorithmic art and music offers me another creative outlet. In other words, although what I do at work is not terribly interesting, I do find devising algorithms, coding them and experimenting with them creatively satisfying, and I indulge this activity at home.

Although music is very important to me it does not define me as a human being and my psyche would not collapse should I suddenly be incapable of playing it. I would redirect the imperative to create. Objectively, I think I might have something individual to contribute in the field (aside from the purely self-transcending aspects we were discussing earlier on). I have therefore decided to put more energy and time into it to see what happens. It’s all quite deliberate; I am not in thrall to it as the drunkard to the bottle.

These facets of me, and many more I haven’t mentioned, are in the last analysis components to be synthesized (“balance” and “synthesis” are, to a certain degree, interchangeable, although I prefer “synthesis” because of its greater implication of oneness and stability) into something else far more important than the sum of its separate parts. The components, for example music, must reflect the integration and stasis of this greater thing which, ideally, should encompass every single thought and experience and bond them into a unity.

At that stage, m1469, I shall stop short of expounding on my religious philosophy and the necessity and nature of a  foundation myth, but I’m sure you know all about those things and I’m sure you know enough about me by now to get the general picture.

Cheers,
Ted.

Okay.  I can see the virtue in what you are talking about here.  And indeed it is a wake up call to me of sorts.  It is so interesting and helpful for me to catch a glimpse of your perspective.  I suppose these thoughts are the very reason that you have chosen the path you have with your music.

Here is something that I struggle with in regards to all of this:

I do have many things that I like; cooking, athletics, drawing, other aspects and facets of music (aside from only piano), etc..  Growing up I have had great opportunities to explore the athletics side of life, to the extent which I have desired.  I have grown up drawing and creating in many ways and I can relate with your thoughts on directing the imperative to create, or redirecting as the case may need to be.  I would even venture to say that there are several things that I am decent at, or perhaps I could say they at least provide for me pleasure.   

One of the things that I find most enjoyable about having many interests is in seeing ways that they are all related and how the motivation, understanding, skill, focused attention toward one activity, can be transferred beautifully to another.  I also feel that a broad sense of activity is essential to the health and general progression of an individual and I would in no uncertain terms, ever wish to lose the freedom to explore many things.

One of my biggest challenges in life, however, has been in grasping how to go about harnessing my interest(s) in life in a way that is truly "useful" and fulfilling (whatever these words mean).  At this point, I am feeling a deep need for very focused work.  Furthermore, although I enjoy variety for sure, I deeply wish to master something;  to become so good at something that I can experience a freedom that I deeply long for.

I suppose that my question about identity was a little deeper than I had originally suspected.

I have for most of my life been striving to be a "good person".  Perhaps someday I will "master" this, most likely not though.  In the striving of this, I have thought about balance, variety, and many qualities which I feel make a person helpful as an individual.  But, I feel that a decision toward the general amassing of skills, qualities, experiences could be somewhat detrimental to a person and the "success" of one's life. 

And I start to wonder...  does the committment toward being a well rounded individual negate the mastery of a specific thing, for example, being a pianist/musician?  And, does it also work the other way around?  Does the committment to mastering an instrument (or some specific skill) negate the opportunity for well roundedness and a balanced mind? 

(Ted, I think that you are talking about something a little different than and perhaps beyond what I am mentioning here, but I have to start here)

Heh, as it turns out, this is one of my deepest and most complicated controversies within.

I am appreciative of everybody's replies.

m1469

[Bob]

Broad and shallow  vs.  Narrow and deep


We've been around, gone to school.... I think most people have that broad, well-rounded education.

It depends what type of musician you want to be for the 'narrow' part.  And there's no end to what you can do in music.  That leaves the questions of how much you work, how much you can stand (progress vs. enjoyment), how much balance you want or need in your own life, what you have to do to survive, etc.  I see pianists playing all of Chopin's Etudes on concerts.  I imagine that's quite a challenge.  But I'm sure people strive for playing all works by Chopin perfectly.  If they got that, then they'd try two composer's works perfectly.  No end.  (Same idea for repertoire -- broad and shallow vs. narrow and deep btw).

And there's the inbetween -- being pretty good at a few things.

[Tash]

i've found it interesting what other people first see me as- like because i have two obsessions- music and art- people tend to pick one that they focus me on, depending on who they are and how well they know me in which area. i particularly noticed this at the end of yr12 and we all had our little 'goodbye' books and wrote soppy little letters to each other in them. anyway it was interesting to see whether people wrote in mine about my art or music or both.
i see myself as both a musician and artist, and i say musician rather than pianist because my overall interest is in music rather than piano so i choose not to limit myself there. i'm a musical artist maybe?!  even though art will most probably be the focus of my future career, i don't think i could ever take my musical identity away, because it has such a strong influence on my art (it was funny, in our yr12 major work for art we had to have at least 3 influences, supposedly of which were artists, i however found that more of mine were composers and was like ah does that count?!).

mayla, your threads always fascinate me, you think of very intruguing topics!