Interesting post ego. This all is a topic of high interest to me so forgive the wall of text.
"You're old, you just will work slower than anyone younger than you". There is a semantic that goes along with statement. Nobody stated that. How I see it, I see wiser men who have lots of experiential knowledge they must sift through before they can add, peg, or layer new information to it. That's a good thing. But that's me.
It is more of an exaggerated stance agreeing with the topic of the thread and then going ahead and explaining the adverse influence such a belief entails. I am of the thought that considering age as a limitation has no constructive use at all, sure some people may find motivation through that but from my experience most don't get to that conclusion.
"you are old and will learn slowly" -- again that was inferred and a statement you made.
It is just way to discuss, what happens if one totally agrees with the topic of this thread and how poor it is to think in this manner, it doesn't require anyone to have actually said it, it is a postulation and the reasoning that follows hopes to highlight that it is a bad one.
I did say that as one ages the process of learning gets slower. Slower connotes as a negative quality per the statement and you are right that with that view its a self-defeating attitude. I don't think slower is a bad thing. It's just something that is true.
Then if you can construct anything useful from such thoughts that as you age learning gets slower it has benefits. Otherwise it is just useless type of thinking which serves no purpose but to disable, it makes nothing easier thinking in this way. As I highlighted in previous posts there are far more factors that impact upon learning speed than just age.
I know I recover slower and that I am not as sharp as when I was young (that does not necessarily mean I don't think I'm sharp). I'm not sad about it. I just know that the rate of decline can happen and can significantly be slowed down if I choose to exercise more physically, mentally, and spiritually. Because if I did not believe that aging did not slow me down, why should I practice because I can always do it later.
My thinking is that even though this is something that happens what is the point in thinking about it? Why not get on with the work? The more your thoughts surround such things the more it pulls you down. Mind/Body connection is a serious power, it is not living in denial but it is focusing on what is important and what can be changed, focusing on factors which one cannot change helps/solves nothing.
So with that knowledge of whats happening to me, I practice the heck out of my life, I run 1-3 miles 2-3x a week -- fastest time 5:50 in 1 mile (better than when I was younger which was 7:15 -- even if I recover slower with hard work I got fastest time ever), I can type 60-110 wpm (when I was young about 45 wpm), and I practice piano and continue reading. I continue to engage my mental process and I read. Because I know with exercise these things slow down the breakdown of my mind as I get older. It is a defeatist negative attitude if you perceive it that way.
That's excellent results you have achieved. Taking a negative and trying to see it in a positive light is something stronger people do do. For example say someone had a terrible experience that left them shattered (you can imagine all the types of horrible things that humanity can experience) one either curls up in a ball of depression or uses it to do good, like support others who have gone through the same terror. Turning something negative into positive, evil into good etc.
So sure people may think that they are getting old and they better "use it or lose it", the fact that time is running out as you age becomes more apparent, that we really only do have a short time here. Unfortunately from my experience people who consider their age too much do NOT use it for the positive, instead they use it more for reasons why they can't achieve, can't do this or that. The therapy in my lessons (it certainly feels like it) with older students with this idea that they are too old and will learn poorly, is to get them to prove that they can do it, to forget about the age factor and just get on with experiencing a relationship with music. I have then found they often think less about the age factor and start enjoying the exprience they are going through, age is not the focus, it is not the reason why they are doing something, they are enjoying a relationship with music with freedom of thought and not to combat anything to do with their age.
Reality is what we make of it. I don't like to deceive myself of the law of nature.... By the biochemistry of the body it just is. .... I don't pretend I'm the same as when I was young but I also know of qualities that make me better than when I was young when I practiced piano. But I am slower, I recover slower, and more forgetful even if I use memory gimmicks to remember things.
It is not about being in denial, it is a fact that as we age we get slower in many ways and this can be more or less pronounced depending on the individual. The thing I am saying is that why think this at all? When one says "I am getting older, I am slower, I recover slower, I am more forgetful, I feel more pain, my body is breaking down etc etc etc", although these things may well be true they are for the majority of people NOT positive motivators. Instead isn't it much better to get on with the work and getting excited by the results of our labor? Is it truly a good motivator to say one does an activity because it aims to slow down a negative mental/physical aspect of our body due to aging? I argue that more people will not be able to find inspiration from such things that can last long term.
Motivation thrives on positive goals and aspirations. Instead of framing activities solely as remedies to slow down negative aspects of aging, it is more effective and fulfilling to find joy and purpose in the activities themselves, as I keep saying "get on with the work". When we engage in things that bring us fulfillment, we're more likely to find lasting motivation and satisfaction.
Some like the military approach. Others like nurturing approach. Does it mean that those who teach in an aggressive manner dont love their pupil as much as those who prefer nurturing the talent? The love is there, just the understanding of how it should be done.
In my mind at least and from my experience a good teacher nurtures the student and works at a level that they understand, always building them up. I never have in all my years teaching found anyone who wants me to be super tough on them. That is not to say that I challenge my students when necessary but it is all done with care and consideration. This is different in other countries, I have seen some teachers from other countries be absolutely brutal to their students, I think it's quite terrible but it can be a tradition of those countries.
In regards to this thread I absolutely would never just highlight the short comings of an older student and tell them things like "It's very hard for you to learn this because you are old, younger students do it much easier than you! You should really have started earlier but its too bad we are stuck with this situation. It's really unfortunately that you chose to start late you shouldn't expect you will go too far... etc etc". I can see some people might take it up as a challenge to prove they can go against the odds, go against the fact that as you age you tend to get slower in many ways, but I'd rather a student draw motivation from more positive sources, the stream of inspiration/motivation/courage there is much longer lasting.
That's why there is a dad and a mom. Type A and Type B. Yin and Yang. It's a balancing act. Some need their hands held as they journey through life while others need traverse their path independently.
I have taught quite diverse families with no mum and dad, some are dad and dad, mum and mum, or just one or the other, or grandparents, or non family guardian etc etc. Everyone needs to feel safe and secure, someone who believes in them and honestly wants to help them. That doesn't mean never call them up on bad behaviour but the way that is done can be either done ham fistedly or with a type of love that likes them for who they are predominantly and that which wants to build them up to be the best they can be.
... The objective answer that we are slower when we age is the law of nature. That can't be disputed. And what everyone is getting at is the semantics of the argument. And those semantics are internal to each person expressing their opinion.
It is something that happens but how does one process that in the mind and how that is connecting to their mind and body is of critical importance. Sure you are not going to live totally oblivious and in denial that you are getting older, but at the same time you don't need to constantly think about it and and draw movitation from it since there are so many better, positive places to draw inspiration and motivation from by comparison.
And the responsibility of feelings belongs to that person alone. No one else is responsible for a persons feelings but themselves. If a statement engenders such feelings, a question should be raised as to why do we feel such a way and why does it make such a connotation.
When I have tutored older students I think some of them have really appreciated my perspective that they are doing just fine and that their age has such a miniscule amount to do with their progress. Age is just one tiny fragment contributing to ones learning rate, in my previous post I listed out many other factors which I think are more influencial many of which can be worked upon. So I find my students feeling and emotion are a part of my responsibility as well, I don't just transfer knowledge and give directions, I ensure that my students feel more confident, more motivated, more secure that they have a teacher who wants the best for them and am there to help their emotional challenges. This helps the student learn and thus the students emotions are a big part of a teachers job imho.
LiW you are a great teacher. And you care very much about others. But the responsibility of each person feelings rests internally with them and they have to resolve that on their own.
Thank you, I don't know if I am great but I really do care about teaching and think there is serious responsiblity that sometimes lie beyond just the teaching. I feel that I have really helped some students with all sorts of issues just by talking to them and allowing them to share their thoughts and emotions with me. I'm sure other piano teachers will agree that we are not only teachers but wear many hats, therapist certainly being one of them! Surely teachers with experience realize that sometimes we to listen and support students with heavy emotions that they are carrying with them. I can give so many case examples but one example: I have a 70+ year old student that I have taught for 20+ years who was adopted at a very young age and experienced many separations and people abandoning him, this of course has impacted upon him throughout his life. I make it a habit to give him a message here and there outside of lessons to make sure he knows I am thinking about him and it has nothing to do with the piano just a friendly message. We had had countless talks about his experiences and I offer positive feedback for all he has achieved and does or just allow him to have an ear to speak to. Taking responsibility for my students emotions is something I feel honored to be a part of, I certainly don't just want to teach them piano if there is more behind it all. Sure the majority of my students just want to learn piano and I'm totally happy with that, but when we see something else behind it all and the student wants to share things with you, we must take responsbility for that and see if we indeed can help them.