Student has another teacher who's teaching style I disagree with

[emnari]

Hi guys. I'm 16F and i've been teaching this student for about a year (currently she is 6). I only expected to get her up to basic levels, maybe enroll her in some local competitions, but recently she got another teacher in addition to me whose teaching styles I don't agree with. Her other teacher is far more experienced, I do agree (from what I can tell, she works at the same piano school that I go to but she is not my teacher). I appreciate her efforts in trying to help my student because she gave her many hanon books and beginning classical books from easy adaptations from bach/Beethoven. I'm perfectly fine with that except she is not teaching my student how to count properly. My student is counting wrong (ex for 4/4 time signatures, she starts on 2 for each measure and goes up to 6 on the next), but when I tried to correct her, she said that her teacher told her not to learn count from her other teacher because my counting could be off beat? My student told me that if I wanted to count, I had to use the "little clock" (metronome) but she doesn't even know how to use that when I tried to help her with it. I helped my student learn count/beat properly by running it through but I don't know if this was wrong on my part or to let her teacher help her with that while I just teach her the notes.

What should I do? Do I need to speak to her other teacher about this?
(For reference I'm trained classically in piano for 12 years and plan to go to a conservatory after I graduate. I know how to count and I have other basic students before)

[brogers70]

Everything you think you know about the other teacher, and everything the teacher thinks she knows about you, has been communicated by a six-year old. So it's probably a good idea for you to communicate directly with the other teacher.

[keypeg]

Everything you think you know about the other teacher, and everything the teacher thinks she knows about you, has been communicated by a six-year old. So it's probably a good idea for you to communicate directly with the other teacher.

There's a six-year old, and there are also parents. The child would not have hired two teachers.

[lostinidlewonder]

The problem is a 6 year old getting taught by 2 teachers. She should have only one.

I am also not sure why you are caught up over counting. Play musically and in time that's more useful. Enforcing counting while playing can be a real turn off for most.

[keypeg]

The problem is a 6 year old getting taught by 2 teachers. She should have only one.

Yes.  I mentioned parents, because that can be the only person(s) hiring two teachers.

[emnari]

The problem is a 6 year old getting taught by 2 teachers. She should have only one.

I am also not sure why you are caught up over counting. Play musically and in time that's more useful. Enforcing counting while playing can be a real turn off for most.

I'm caught up over counting because she tells me that her teacher has taught her how to count, and then proceeds to count wrong (without me telling her to count first). I don't want her teacher teaching her the wrong thing

[essence]

You can't possibly carry on having two teachers. First conflicts about counting. Then conflicts about something else. It will be continual stress.

Nobody can serve two masters.

Talk to the parents and ask them to decide which teacher they want.

[lostinidlewonder]

I'm caught up over counting because she tells me that her teacher has taught her how to count, and then proceeds to count wrong (without me telling her to count first). I don't want her teacher teaching her the wrong thing

As a young teacher you need to take a step back and avoid criticisim towards other teachers. That can come later on when you are much more experienced and even then you need a good reason to do it (and I can't think of many good reasons to do so), for now you should not do it. I say this because I feel you have overestimated the intelligence of your young student, she does it wrong because she hasn't  managed to understand it yet, it has nothing to do with the other teacher, the student is still learning. No one just learns something one time and does it right.

[dizzyfingers]

...

What should I do? Do I need to speak to her other teacher about this?
(For reference I'm trained classically in piano for 12 years and plan to go to a conservatory after I graduate. I know how to count and I have other basic students before)

I think speaking to the other teacher would be a good idea, to get an idea of what is going on.

It strikes me as odd that the parents would hire a second piano teacher from the same school.  It seems a bit insensitive that they didn't mention it to you.  You may want to discontinue this student after the contract ends.  Save yourself some frustration. 

[ted]

I am also not sure why you are caught up over counting. Play musically and in time that's more useful. Enforcing counting while playing can be a real turn off for most.

I am unqualified to pass an opinion regarding the main issue of this thread but what Lostinidlewonder says here about rhythm is very important. Rhythm is the deeply felt soul of music for me and I doubt a worthwhile perception of it can be acquired through means as simplistic as counting and metronomes.

[quantum]

Having multiple teachers, not to mention multiple teachers that disagree with each other in approaches is something that one is exposed to a lot more in university studies and beyond.  As a young teacher, I suspect you have not experienced these things in your own student life.  This is not exclusive to music teaching, but can apply to any subject you wish to explore.  Nonetheless, navigating this situation will give you the opportunity to build your teacher skills. 

Considering your student's age, this scenario is not something they would typically encounter in school when studying other subjects. 

My suggestion is not to contradict the other teacher, but to teach perspective.  Teach your student there is more than one way of accomplishing a given task.  This is not about doing things right or wrong, it is about choosing the path to get to your goal. 

For example: you are hungry, you have the choice of eating an apple or an orange.  Is one more correct than the other? 

***

One of the exercises I like to use when teaching is to take a piece or a short passage of music, and have students create at least three contrasting interpretations of the same passage.  This gets students into the mindset of thinking critically and creatively on how to approach a piece of music.  It also trains students not to get too personally attached to a single interpretation, or way of doing things.  Rather, it encourages them to explore and remain open to different perspectives. 

[lostinidlewonder]

Having multiple teachers, not to mention multiple teachers that disagree with each other in approaches is something that one is exposed to a lot more in university studies and beyond. 

But simultaneously teaching the same topic? I don't know many university students who have multiple piano tutors training them to play their repertoire, it is almost always just one teacher. Sure some might have more but from my experience it's not that common.

I don't think that a 6 year old should have to deal with two teachers and I wouldn't even recommend that this is a learning opportunity. It is using a 6 year old as a test subject to further a teachers training, to me its more to do with the teacher and much less to do with the students best interest.

[lostinidlewonder]

I am unqualified to pass an opinion regarding the main issue of this thread but what Lostinidlewonder says here about rhythm is very important. Rhythm is the deeply felt soul of music for me and I doubt a worthwhile perception of it can be acquired through means as simplistic as counting and metronomes.

Counting is good for analysis but once you solve it you listen and play. Honestly the vast majority of pianists ive taught NEVER count while they are playing, they'd only do that if they don't understand the rhythm or timing of a passage. Adding layers of thought onto a process which does much better with freedom of thought just sets students up for more effort than what is required.

[quantum]

But simultaneously teaching the same topic? I don't know many university students who have multiple piano tutors training them to play their repertoire, it is almost always just one teacher. Sure some might have more but from my experience it's not that common.

Piano performance (primary instrument)
Collaborative piano
Vocal coaching
Piano pedagogy
Masterclass in performance
Musicianship
Small ensemble with piano
Improvisation

These were all courses when I was in undergrad, all different teachers, with their own style of teaching, often contradicting one another.  They all had something to say about how to play the piano. 

Putting all these teachers in one room and asking for their opinions on how to play Bach, would be strongly inadvisable.   

I don't think that a 6 year old should have to deal with two teachers

For that age group, it can be a source of confusion.  That said, there is still the opportunity to learn about diverse perspectives.

However, the scenario does remain for that age group when a school teacher and parental teaching disagree, and the student needs to navigate. 

[...] I wouldn't even recommend that this is a learning opportunity.

You either learn and grow, or you get left behind.  The ball is in your court, choose wisely. 

[lostinidlewonder]

Piano performance (primary instrument)
Collaborative piano
Vocal coaching
Piano pedagogy
Masterclass in performance
Musicianship
Small ensemble with piano
Improvisation

These were all courses when I was in undergrad, all different teachers, with their own style of teaching, often contradicting one another.  They all had something to say about how to play the piano. 

I think we have a misunderstanding. The teachers under discussion in the OP are piano tutors, I don't believe it is other music related subjects. They are supposed to be teaching a student how to play the piano. Also in univeristy you will generally NOT want to have multiple tutors teaching you your repertoire that you must play for the year. You might get one teacher here and there in lectures and tutorials but they are not the weekly teachers you have working with you one on one. That is the type of teacher I was discussing and what looks to be what the OP is discussing. If indeed they are teaching extra cirricular music subjects then I can't see any problem with having multiple teachers and that is quite normal as you have pointed out.

[quantum]

Also in univeristy you will generally NOT want to have multiple tutors teaching you your repertoire that you must play for the year. You might get one teacher here and there in lectures and tutorials but they are not the weekly teachers you have working with you one on one. That is the type of teacher I was discussing and what the OP is discussing.

In my university experience, a good portion of repertoire was shared between courses.  So a student will get feedback from multiple professors on their performance of a given piece.  Dealing with all this information, which at times was conflicting, was a part of crafting a musical interpretation for a piece.  It was more than just taking instruction from teachers, it was about driving actionable insights using that information. 

I think we have a misunderstanding. The teachers under discussion in the OP are piano tutors, not other music related subjects.

Admittedly, this student age group can find the mixed messaging from multiple teachers confusing.  What I was trying to get at was, this may be used to teach the student about perspectives.  That not everything about playing music is doing things a certain way in order to be correct.  There is room to flex, to look at a problem from another angle.  Depending on the student, certain teaching methodologies may resonate more closely with their learning style. 

I do find the situation of having two piano teachers at that age to be out of the ordinary. 

[lostinidlewonder]

In my university experience, a good portion of repertoire was shared between courses.  So a student will get feedback from multiple professors on their performance of a given piece.  Dealing with all this information, which at times was conflicting, was a part of crafting a musical interpretation for a piece.  It was more than just taking instruction from teachers, it was about driving actionable insights using that information. 

You mean these teachers work with a student every week and offer input at the piano as if they were giving a piano lesson? Or is it more that you might get feedback from an actual examination, lecutre or tutorial? It seems to me the norm in Australia and a number of European schools I visited in person that most students have one tutor who is training them regularly at the piano. They may get feedback elsewhere but these other teachers are not weekly tutors who give one on one lessons. Even students in the USA I have communicated with have never had two teachers who give regular one on one piano lessons.

Admittedly, this student age group can find the mixed messaging from multiple teachers confusing.  What I was trying to get at was, this may be used to teach the student about perspectives.  .....

I do find the situation of having two piano teachers at that age to be out of the ordinary.

I think I'd take a much harsher stance than your more neutral perspective. I honstesly think nothing good can come from this situation and especially for a young developing pianist.

Occasional input from other professionals (eg through masterclasses, studio classes, or performance seminars) can be very valuable but that’s quite different from being “co-taught” on a weekly basis.

[dizzyfingers]

Keep in mind the piano student is 6 years old ...

[jonslaughter]

Everything you think you know about the other teacher, and everything the teacher thinks she knows about you, has been communicated by a six-year old. So it's probably a good idea for you to communicate directly with the other teacher.

Exactly and my first thought. Who counts 4/4 from 2 to 6? Kid literally is not understanding what she is doing in counting(likely counting a 2 beat pickup but not realizing it's 3 4 1 2 3 4 or possibly 1 2 1 2 3 4).

[jonslaughter]

Hi guys. I'm 16F and i've been teaching this student for about a year (currently she is 6). I only expected to get her up to basic levels, maybe enroll her in some local competitions, but recently she got another teacher in addition to me whose teaching styles I don't agree with. Her other teacher is far more experienced, I do agree (from what I can tell, she works at the same piano school that I go to but she is not my teacher). I appreciate her efforts in trying to help my student because she gave her many hanon books and beginning classical books from easy adaptations from bach/Beethoven. I'm perfectly fine with that except she is not teaching my student how to count properly. My student is counting wrong (ex for 4/4 time signatures, she starts on 2 for each measure and goes up to 6 on the next), but when I tried to correct her, she said that her teacher told her not to learn count from her other teacher because my counting could be off beat? My student told me that if I wanted to count, I had to use the "little clock" (metronome) but she doesn't even know how to use that when I tried to help her with it. I helped my student learn count/beat properly by running it through but I don't know if this was wrong on my part or to let her teacher help her with that while I just teach her the notes.

What should I do? Do I need to speak to her other teacher about this?
(For reference I'm trained classically in piano for 12 years and plan to go to a conservatory after I graduate. I know how to count and I have other basic students before)

You are not an experienced person. Do not take this the wrong way.  You are 16. When you get 50 you will realize what I mean.

Others have mentioned these things.

1. Do not let the kid tell you what other people tell him. The kid likely has no clue what he is doing and can't grasp the big picture even if explained perfectly clear. (it takes time to put the pieces together, it's really not even something that can be explained but something experienced which requires time)

2. Probably not a good idea to have multiple teachers since this will likely confuse the kid. It could be a good thing but more likely than not a bad thing. The reason the kid likely has the other teacher now is they feel you are inadequate and this is probably true. You have to realize that it is also just as much a learning experience for you as the kid. What you think its right may not be right.

You are right that counting is important but it isn't the end all be all. Counting alone means nothing. Also, how it is done matters. Most people new to music are not going to understand how important timing is or, really, anything. They think people are just "born" with it or it's simple.

3. You definitely should talk to the other teacher so you can get on the same page. This could cause problems if either one is hard headed and has fallacious ideas. It requires compromising and an understanding. Your youth is in analogy to the kid. Even if you are a great musician, say, this does not mean you have the other life experiences necessary. OTOH, you also have youth behind you and the elder teacher likely has lost what youth gives. So it's really your burden because if you see it as a way for you to learn and get better teaching then it can help you out quite a bit too. Many older people get set in their ways and also just want to do it their way because that is what they understand. So you have to realize that too because the older person likely won't compromise as much simply because they are older. It then requires for you to figure out creative ways to do what you feel is right as long as you are sure it is right and not also just being egotistical/arrogant.


4. The most important thing for any kid is to have fun. What you should avoid doing is antagonizing the kid because the other teacher told her something different according to her. Most of the worlds problems are due to people misunderstanding things.

For example, you think counting is important. I can't say if it is important for that kid or not but it is clear that a musician should know how and be able to count. Should a 6 year old be able to? Probably not. Should they start practicing it? Probably so. Should it the main issue? Probably not. Should a metronome be used? Yes. Should it be relevant to a 6 year old that can't play piano yet? Probably not.


You have to realize it is a 6 year old. Unless that 6 year old has professional musicians for parents and is practicing 5 hours a day your expectations have to be low. Your goal should be motivation and to encourage them to play as much as possible. The singular thing that will define that kids progress is if they feel motivated to progress. If they want to impress you. If you are a "meanie" then they will not want to impress you and then won't practice.

You shouldn't be "DO THIS MY WAY OR THE RULER!" but "let's try this for fun" or  "can you beat me in a game of who can play notes on the metronome click" and maybe let them win and congratulate them(but not too much or they think they are good, they have to lose too).

You shouldn't be trying to turn a 6 year old into a Gould. You can do that once you get enough experience. You should be figuring out how to get the kid excited so they enjoy piano and play on their own. Then they will teach themselves.

Your singular goal is to make them want to play more, not less. EVERY technical problem can be overcome with practice and time. If the goal is for them to win national competitions by the age of 14 then that is a different focus than getting someone to have a lifelong enjoyment of music and the piano. The latter should be the goal because that person will be far more balanced of a human than the person doing competitions and only see's music as a competition.

What will happen is that if you are over zealous the kid will actually progress much slower and then quit and so what have you actually achieved? Slow and steady wins the race or at least gets to the finish line.

If you can make the kid spend all week practicing a piece of music so they can show it off to you how good they did then they are making progress. Even if they are not good(what do you expect from a 6 year old?) you can then have something to work on. The more you get them to play the piece over and over the more they will perfect it and get better. So you can find different ways to challenge them on it to get them to practice it(change tempo(really slow, really fast, add goofy tempo changes, etc), change dynamics, change modes, etc)).

What you shouldn't do is get in a pissing match with the kid because the kid will win. They are only a few years off from wearing diapers. What you should do is figure out how to excite the kid and then guide them into doing what you want using various "schemes" or "tricks".

E.g., rather than saying "Your other teacher is wrong. You do it this way". You say "Yes, she is right but this is different. We will count in a different way to see if we can do it because your other teacher wants to give you the easy way but this is harder and I think you can do it. I'll tell you what, if you can do it this way well I'll give you a treat". That might not be the best way to put it but it at least is not antagonistic to the other way which the kid clearly is siding with. You might even put the counting on the back burner.


It seems you are already in muddy waters with the kids so you now have to overcome that. It might take you a few weeks or months just to overcome her perception of you. She may see you more as an "equal" since you are younger.  So you are going to have to find some way to make her have fun. If it is not fun then what is the point? She's only doing it in the first place because someone is pushing her to do it and she wants to please them or has been motivated by someone. It's your job to take that an amplify it in a way that gets her to play piano as much as she can on her own(and with you and others). Even if you sit at the piano and make noise then that is what you got to do(you are the one who took on a 6 year old).

Fundamentally though you also have to treat it as a learning process. You will have to come to terms that there is no set way to make it work since there is a wide variation among kids. What works for one may not at all work for another because they have vastly different life's. It's also hard because it is not as if you can shape everything around the kid to be perfectly the way you want. Assuming you had the perfect way you only get a very limited amount of time to influence the child.

There is so much to learn that, really, the teacher can only motivate. It ultimately is up to the child/student to become a self-teacher. That takes time. If your goal is simply to have the kid jump through hoops then you likely will fail unless you can spend 30 hours a week with the kid and you yourself have a lot of experience.

[essence]

A lot of sense here.

[emnari]

You are not an experienced person. Do not take this the wrong way.  You are 16. When you get 50 you will realize what I mean.

Others have mentioned these things.

1. Do not let the kid tell you what other people tell him. The kid likely has no clue what he is doing and can't grasp the big picture even if explained perfectly clear. (it takes time to put the pieces together, it's really not even something that can be explained but something experienced which requires time)

2. Probably not a good idea to have multiple teachers since this will likely confuse the kid. It could be a good thing but more likely than not a bad thing. The reason the kid likely has the other teacher now is they feel you are inadequate and this is probably true. You have to realize that it is also just as much a learning experience for you as the kid. What you think its right may not be right.

You are right that counting is important but it isn't the end all be all. Counting alone means nothing. Also, how it is done matters. Most people new to music are not going to understand how important timing is or, really, anything. They think people are just "born" with it or it's simple.

3. You definitely should talk to the other teacher so you can get on the same page. This could cause problems if either one is hard headed and has fallacious ideas. It requires compromising and an understanding. Your youth is in analogy to the kid. Even if you are a great musician, say, this does not mean you have the other life experiences necessary. OTOH, you also have youth behind you and the elder teacher likely has lost what youth gives. So it's really your burden because if you see it as a way for you to learn and get better teaching then it can help you out quite a bit too. Many older people get set in their ways and also just want to do it their way because that is what they understand. So you have to realize that too because the older person likely won't compromise as much simply because they are older. It then requires for you to figure out creative ways to do what you feel is right as long as you are sure it is right and not also just being egotistical/arrogant.


4. The most important thing for any kid is to have fun. What you should avoid doing is antagonizing the kid because the other teacher told her something different according to her. Most of the worlds problems are due to people misunderstanding things.

For example, you think counting is important. I can't say if it is important for that kid or not but it is clear that a musician should know how and be able to count. Should a 6 year old be able to? Probably not. Should they start practicing it? Probably so. Should it the main issue? Probably not. Should a metronome be used? Yes. Should it be relevant to a 6 year old that can't play piano yet? Probably not.


You have to realize it is a 6 year old. Unless that 6 year old has professional musicians for parents and is practicing 5 hours a day your expectations have to be low. Your goal should be motivation and to encourage them to play as much as possible. The singular thing that will define that kids progress is if they feel motivated to progress. If they want to impress you. If you are a "meanie" then they will not want to impress you and then won't practice.

You shouldn't be "DO THIS MY WAY OR THE RULER!" but "let's try this for fun" or  "can you beat me in a game of who can play notes on the metronome click" and maybe let them win and congratulate them(but not too much or they think they are good, they have to lose too).

You shouldn't be trying to turn a 6 year old into a Gould. You can do that once you get enough experience. You should be figuring out how to get the kid excited so they enjoy piano and play on their own. Then they will teach themselves.

Your singular goal is to make them want to play more, not less. EVERY technical problem can be overcome with practice and time. If the goal is for them to win national competitions by the age of 14 then that is a different focus than getting someone to have a lifelong enjoyment of music and the piano. The latter should be the goal because that person will be far more balanced of a human than the person doing competitions and only see's music as a competition.

What will happen is that if you are over zealous the kid will actually progress much slower and then quit and so what have you actually achieved? Slow and steady wins the race or at least gets to the finish line.

If you can make the kid spend all week practicing a piece of music so they can show it off to you how good they did then they are making progress. Even if they are not good(what do you expect from a 6 year old?) you can then have something to work on. The more you get them to play the piece over and over the more they will perfect it and get better. So you can find different ways to challenge them on it to get them to practice it(change tempo(really slow, really fast, add goofy tempo changes, etc), change dynamics, change modes, etc)).

What you shouldn't do is get in a pissing match with the kid because the kid will win. They are only a few years off from wearing diapers. What you should do is figure out how to excite the kid and then guide them into doing what you want using various "schemes" or "tricks".

E.g., rather than saying "Your other teacher is wrong. You do it this way". You say "Yes, she is right but this is different. We will count in a different way to see if we can do it because your other teacher wants to give you the easy way but this is harder and I think you can do it. I'll tell you what, if you can do it this way well I'll give you a treat". That might not be the best way to put it but it at least is not antagonistic to the other way which the kid clearly is siding with. You might even put the counting on the back burner.


It seems you are already in muddy waters with the kids so you now have to overcome that. It might take you a few weeks or months just to overcome her perception of you. She may see you more as an "equal" since you are younger.  So you are going to have to find some way to make her have fun. If it is not fun then what is the point? She's only doing it in the first place because someone is pushing her to do it and she wants to please them or has been motivated by someone. It's your job to take that an amplify it in a way that gets her to play piano as much as she can on her own(and with you and others). Even if you sit at the piano and make noise then that is what you got to do(you are the one who took on a 6 year old).

Fundamentally though you also have to treat it as a learning process. You will have to come to terms that there is no set way to make it work since there is a wide variation among kids. What works for one may not at all work for another because they have vastly different life's. It's also hard because it is not as if you can shape everything around the kid to be perfectly the way you want. Assuming you had the perfect way you only get a very limited amount of time to influence the child.

There is so much to learn that, really, the teacher can only motivate. It ultimately is up to the child/student to become a self-teacher. That takes time. If your goal is simply to have the kid jump through hoops then you likely will fail unless you can spend 30 hours a week with the kid and you yourself have a lot of experience.

Honestly thank you so much for this. Really opened my eyes and I originally just planned to make piano enjoyable to the kid. I guess I caught too caught up in the technicalities of music. Really appreciate this 

[jonslaughter]

You'll figure it all out. As long as you are willing to learn and accept your own failings you will grow and benefit from it. Just try to accept that there are many perspectives, ideas, and unknowns in life.

Learn to be flexible and try to see things beyond your own shortcomings and you likely will find them. It's like playing piano. You had to grow to do it. If you thought you were the best or couldn't do it from the get go then you wouldn't have gotten better. It's the same in every part of life.

Just like how you may have to solve problems at the keyboard and it can take time or figuring out new ways to think, the same is true in all of life.

You can always learn something from anyone so if you go in with that attitude things will go much better and you will get more out of it. If you go in with "My way is right" then you are only setting yourself up for failure. Also, no one really has any of the answers. Everyone has parts of the answer, which is why I said what I said in the first place. In some ways we can't help but be forced to learn things. Life gives us no options.

As I think I mentioned, you should figure out what you really want to do with your existence. If you want to be a great piano teacher(or anything really) just remember that there is a lot more to it than what it seems on the surface. Piano is really more than piano. It's the entire existence of humanity(because it took mechanical knowledge, technical knowledge, slavery, mining, politics, wars, etc to get here). Same is true of everything.

So the more you learn about life "outside of piano" the more you learn about piano. It's not just piano. Nothing is just itself. In fact, if you ever were to study math you might learn something called the Yoneda lemma. It underpins all of mathematics, and, in fact, all of life. (it's a mathematical version of something that is very fundamental to the world which religion, philosophy, engineering, etc have all studied). in fact, we all know it in some form or fashion.

At the heart of all this stuff is humans so you ultimately have to center your focus there. Piano is meaningless without humans(not technically but practically). Same goes for pretty much everything(everything we consider "human life"). Hence you might find yourself studying psychology(so you can find out more about what drives humans and what also then drives the mind in terms of piano playing(such as concentration, performance, stress, motivations, etc)). You might study engineering or sociology, or even chess. Everything matters to some degree.

You have a long time ahead of you and everything you do adds up to what you are. If you see things that way rather than in a superficial way then you'll learn to navigate these "life problems" easier. Again, it's exactly the same as piano playing except the "category" is different. In some sense problem solving is the same skill but it's like a chameleon and changes how it "looks" depending on context. Similar to  how Jazz and Baroque are both music but seem different. It's not easy to explain how it's all connected but once you "see it" you can't "unsee it".

You should also learn about your own motivations for why you do things and think about things. 99% of the time the problems we face our due to our own preconceived notions about reality(what we think is reality vs what it really is). My suggestion is to try to think of all of life's problems as a learning experience to overcome rather than a confrontation. This is the way to grow. I'm not saying it is easy but if you can simply try to keep that in back of your mind as you go through life you'll start to see the world differently and start to see the common patterns. Again, it's the same as piano This is why learning music is so important. Maybe just as important as everything else but it's very important. If you can spot patterns in a piece of music(such as a reoccurring theme, motive, figure, etc) then realize that in life patterns also exist in the same way(but they are life patterns, not musical patterns... well some musical patterns are life patterns but not all life patterns are musical patterns).


All I can say is that you are very young so there is an entire world in front of you that you don't realize. All us old people have been through life see things very differently than we were a kid. At least all of us that cared enough to pay attention. Don't grow up too fast = don't get frustrated or ego driven like adults. As Bruce Lee said - Be like water.