Too stressed about a competition to even practice

[ondine1908]

I have a bit of a problem -- whenever a competition is coming up, all I can think about is how much it'll cost me if I don't win. All the money and time will go to waste. Fewer awards also means lower chances of getting in a good music school and finding a nice career (especially in the current music industry.) I feel like if I don't win, I'll be a living-room pianist for the rest of my life.
It makes me so nervous, I can barely even practice. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do you deal with it?
Thank you

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Competitions don’t matter and where you went to school also doesn’t really matter.  Hope that helps

[lostinidlewonder]

A "good" career in piano is harder than winning competitions. Honestly winning competitions is not a good measurement of your career success or potential. Unless youre employed as a professor at a university,  managing a business becomes an essential skill. Overall you do need to be good at networking and dealing with your clients/peers, its very important.

Students of mine who want to do piano as a career I always try to convince them not to. Do something else. If you truly want to do piano for a living no one will convince you otherwise. It is just that hard imho, my first years in the career wasn't easy even though I was met with unusual success in performance. Building my teaching base was not something that just fell into my lap no matter what my past achievements in music. The thing is that it excited me, the challenge, and even though the pathway in teaching initially paid worse than my other degree in Engineering I wouldn't do anything else.

[lelle]

Most people who win competitions and get a career out of it don't just compete in one competition, but tons of competitions. This one wont make or break you.

[pianointegrity]

Imagined outcomes are merely useful to get you moving in a particular direction. More than that and it becomes ruminative.

So focus on developing the content interest, skills, and preparation once you accept the outcome you want to move towards, but regardless of what actually happens, trust in the process and accept whatever comes your way and adapt.

[dizzyfingers]

Fewer awards also means lower chances of getting in a good music school.

When you say "good music school", are you headed into an undergrad program or grad program?
I'm not an expert on the admission tunnel for piano degrees, but my hunch is it's definitely not a factor for an undergrad program, and though it might help with a grad program, it's far from the main focus - which is your playing, your audition.

all I can think about is how much it'll cost me if I don't win. All the money and time will go to waste.

Clearly the time/effort is not going to waste because it's making your a better pianist, right?  Preparing you for applications into music schools.

As for the money - it's certainly an expense, the travel and hotels, but you'd better get used to and try to be strategic about which competitions you enter...

It makes me so nervous, I can barely even practice.

Not sure how many peers you'll find on here, but it might help if you could network with others preparing for competitions, not necessarily just pianists, share your fears, stress, and strategies for dealing.
Aside from that, learning methods/techniques to deal with stress is something most everyone undertakes in life, you might as well start now.  The default method is exercise - walking, hiking, stretching, martial arts, running, swimming, the gym, etc.   Another method is meditation, but that probably won't be too easy if you're 21 or under.  Find the de-stressor that works for you.