Pieces to woo the gentlemen!

[rafant]

It's a real challenge, but we have the right to be courted too, don't we? Is there a lady daring enough?

[anda]

anything as long as the lady looks good while playing it 

[rafant]

anything as long as the lady looks good while playing it

Wise, well said!

[Torp]

anything as long as the lady looks good while playing it 

Just a little joke....

A man was in search of a wife.  He gave $5,000 to three different ladies and told them to do something with it and to report back in 30 days.  After 30 days:

The first lady took the money and went out and got a complete makeover, face job, boob job, you get the picture.  She says to the man, “I love you so much that I wanted to make sure I always looked my best for you.”

The second lady took the money and bought a gift for him.  She says to the man, “I love you so much that I just want to give you everything.”

The third lady took the money, started a company with it, took the company public, sold all the shares in the company, put $20,000,000 in a long-term annuity for their retirement, and repaid the original $5,000 to the man.  She says, “I love you so much that I felt our future was worth investing in because I want to make sure we'll want for nothing in our old age.”

Which one did he marry?







The one with the biggest boobs of course.  Men are like that you know.

Torp

[pianonut]

so the truth comes out!  it's not always the music, it's the way you play it.  well, i'm married, so i can't be too outspoken on this line...but, i am curious --

say, if a woman plays something kind of macho (like i heard martha argerich play some piano concerto you would think a guy would play - and she played it with alot of strength)  would this turn a guy off?  sometimes i get frustrated because i want to prove that i can play things that are difficult, too, but my husband is perfectly content with the easier pieces and actually likes it when something is hard for me (and i make a few mistakes) vs. something i have down really well and just slam it.  being competitive is probably a bad thing if you are dating.  it doesn't seem to have an effect (though it isn't my intended purpose when i am playing piano).

now, i suppose if one used Ted's technique it might go somewhere.  though i feel for those women who have had boob jobs.  have you ever watched that plastic surgery show?  it's really awful what they do to get them in.  i mean, who would want to get them out again several times?  that would really mess a girl up.  i think, being the older woman i am now, the best times are the big boobs you get when you are expecting a child.  the more children the bigger they get, naturally.  and you don't have to worry about some doctor losing your nipple in the operating room (which i watched with horror). fortunately he found it on the table or floor or something.

[Torp]

This could start to get pretty philosophical if we're not careful...

Jef

[Tash]

oh i reckon i could woo any gentleman with my version of 4'33 LOL (for those who remember the whole tiara story) me andm1469could get ourselves a string of men! hahaha maybe i should try getting a boob job first, or not after those lovely comments from pianonut. maybe i'll go have some kids! oh but i need to woo a man first to get the kids. hmmm....

[ted]

Mental and physical strength in a woman definitely do NOT turn me off. I have always been uncomfortable with the traditional roles of man as initiator and aggressor and woman as passive accepter or rejecter. Living with a woman who couldn't think for herself, clear a drain or change a wheel ? Nearly as silly as a man unable to cry, arrange flowers or cook a decent dinner. Those old transactions have had it and good riddance to them as far as I'm concerned.

An interest in, or at least a tolerance of, piano music was certainly a criterion in my search for a compatible woman, but I never felt threatened by better female pianists.

[Torp]

Hypotheticals anyone?

Ok guys, I just spent a little time perusing the thread about the "Babes of the Piano."  That and this thread have me actually contemplating some things.

If two women were equally beautiful and otherwise equal in all ways would the fact that one of them plays the piano make her somehow more attractive to you?

If a woman was a phenomenal piano player AND as phenomenonally ugly would you choose her over a drop-dead gorgeous non-piano player?

There are probably other similar questions, but that's the best I could do....I have to get back to the piano babe thread

Jef

[pianonut]

maybe you'll have to make this into an experiment at a piano bar and see what happens (several nights in a row).

i love piano, but i happen to also love voice.  i don't think it matters if a woman sings or plays the piano, but if she is tone deaf she may as well be 'ugly' (although the term never applies to the heart - and some 'ugly' women may be beautiful on the inside).

hmmm.  if i were betting, i would bet that there is something in men that makes them want to be appreciated less for their looks and more for their playing.  so, if they date a woman who can obviously play better, it doesn't look so good, even if she's beautiful.  i think they'd go hands down for the woman who doesn't play piano - and sings them to sleep.  and, i wouldn't put it past some men to appreciate a woman who might not be a knockout, but attractive and plays the piano (i haven't met any ugly girls at wcu - maybe you should look there - they're beautiful and many play the piano) as good as they do.

[Skeptopotamus]

hehe i wooed my gentleman with the chopin ballad no 1 ^^

[anda]

i heard martha argerich play some piano concerto you would think a guy would play

i little joke i heard about her (i don't think it's true, but i'll just write it as i heard it):

at some point, she had a boyfriend who was also a pianist, and who was constantly trying to prove himself a better pianist than her. one night, they were invited to a party, and he wanted them to stay home because he had some very difficult work to practise. so martha went alone, leaving him at the piano. at 5 am, when she cam home, he was furious: "i've been working on this passage for the past 3 hours - this is impossible! unplayable!", so she sat at the piano, looked at the score - and played it perfectly at first sight! next day he broke off with her

[pianowelsh]

With the guys on this site - It would have to be something very long - Very difficult and (not) played like Argerich . Joking!!! I think seriously though it would have to be something that showed their fantastic fingerwork and musicallity with perhaps a touch of reverance and dignity??? maybe Mendelssohn Variations serieuses or Bach busoni chaconne even Ballade 1 Chopin???

[shasta]

The men in my life have always enjoyed Liszt's HR2.  I hoped they liked it for reasons beyond Tom & Jerry or Bugs Bunny, but you never know...      

Now that I think about it, one guy had asked me if I ever had a wardrobe malfunction while playing it...      

Yeah.  Here's hoping, kiddo.

[pianonut]

that's funny!  wardrobe malfunction.  once, i got my formal caught under my shoe and i kept trying to kick it out of the way, and decided from there on never to wear a long formal again unless it was hemmed to the ankle or something.  a friend of mine always wears pantsuits.  you still have to make sure the jacket can let your arms move, though.  it's always a catch 22.  if you look nice-you're probably freezing.

[Muzakian]

I won't bother reiterating my thoughts on the other wooing thread, but I'll just say, if a girl ever bothered to play something just for me I'd probably be wooed, whether it's Ornstein or whatever. 
Although the odds of meeting a nice pianist girl are pretty remote, I think it might be a blessing in disguise. Pianist relationships probably don't work out so well due to piano envy. One person would hog the piano all the time, and when a fanatical pianist is deprived of pianism - we all know how ugly that gets.

[Torp]

Pianist relationships probably don't work out so well due to piano envy. One person would hog the piano all the time, and when a fanatical pianist is deprived of pianism - we all know how ugly that gets.

That leads to pianist envy doesn't it?

Jef

[mikeyg]

Hey!, who posed my thread?

 

[Muzakian]

That leads to pianist envy doesn't it?
Jef

Yes indeed. Especially if your partner is an Oedipus 

[Rez]

Alkan's "La chanson de la folle au bord de lar Mer"

[Torp]

Hey!, who posed my thread?

 

My bad....sorry.  Couldn't resist a digression into adolescent humor.

I think I have to concur with Muzakian.  If some woman (yes I'm old enough to think of any female I'd be interested in as a woman) were to take the time to prepare a piece of music just for me, I'd be wooed.

However, personally, it's not about music.  It's about passion.  My wife can't play a tune on the piano.  However she's a passionate advocate for children and teaching.  This passion runs to her core and is evident in everything she does.  That depth of feeling radiates an energy I find irresistable.  Do I miss not having someone with whom I can sing or play a duet?  Yes, sometimes, but mostly I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

Of course, if Elena Hammel were to play me Chopin's Scherzo No. 2 I might have to reconsider my position... 

Jef

[pianonut]

i agree about passion.  say, Rez, what is la chanson de la folle au bord de lar mer all about?  i tried to find it to listen, but all i could find was some info on alkan.  something about him dying under a falling bookcase while reaching for the talmud.  poor guy.  i haven't listened to that much of it.  what do you find romantic about it, or were you making a joke?  what does the title mean, anyway?

[mikeyg]

Well, the thread is "pieces to woo the gentlemen", so men are supposed to fall for it, not women.  But I don't know, I heven't heard it.  I do know that if I heard a girl playing La Festin d'Esope, I'd be up on the stage before she even finished and try to court her.

[pianonut]

i was thinking of listening to try to understand a bit more about what music men find musically seductive.  if it sounded good, i'd try an experiment at home and just start playing it and see what happened.  probably, like Ted's wife, my husband might (or might not) notice the seduction.  sometimes you have to be overt.

now why do the tales of aesop get to you like that?  does it have to do with the fox and the grapes? 

[pianonut]

oh.  sci-fi and dectective stories.  ok.  i can accept that.  did you know apollinaire was sent to prison for six days for lifting the mona-lisa from the louve?  his magazine 'la Festin d'Esope' must have been the interest for Alkan.  what an interesting person, this Apollinaire!

[Rez]

i agree about passion. say, Rez, what is la chanson de la folle au bord de lar mer all about? what does the title mean, anyway?

Roughly translated as "Song of a mad (insane) woman by the sea." (I think)  There's other posts on the forum about Alkan and this piece.  He lived at the same time as Liszt, was considered on a par with him technically, and wasn't well known because he was a serious recluse.  "Le chason" is difficult either; especially by Alkan's standards.

You can listen to a midi file of it at
https://www.classicalarchives.com/midi/a.html
It doesn't at all do it justice though.

An adobe acrobat file of the score is available for free at
https://piano.francais.free.fr/alkan/04_partitions_en.html
just go down the page to the "25 preludes"

Because of the title, it was sort of a joke, but only sort of.  I don't know that I would call it romantic but it's a very moving piece.  It has dark brooding bass chords with a melody thats a little sad, a little hopeful, haunting and beautiful.  Anyway, if she plays it with conviction then it's a piece of music that will really communicate one soul to another.

[Torp]

sometimes you have to be overt.

I'd go with overt.  A leather negligee will beat whatever Alkan wrote any day(no offense meant to Alkan at all).  Subtlety is often lost on our breed I'm afraid.

Jef

[apion]

I would be wooed by a dramatic Romantic piano concerto, like the Brahms 1, Brahms 2, Prokofiev 3, or Schumann A Minor.  The Busoni C Major PC would also work.

As for solo, Liszt HR2 / HR6 would do the trick.

[pianonut]

i think the schumann sounds good.  i've always liked that piece.  now the leather negligee...i think that would scare him actually.  he'd think i was going to whip him or something.

[Tash]

I won't bother reiterating my thoughts on the other wooing thread, but I'll just say, if a girl ever bothered to play something just for me I'd probably be wooed, whether it's Ornstein or whatever. 
Although the odds of meeting a nice pianist girl are pretty remote, I think it might be a blessing in disguise. Pianist relationships probably don't work out so well due to piano envy. One person would hog the piano all the time, and when a fanatical pianist is deprived of pianism - we all know how ugly that gets.

dude i am a nice female pianist, and all you have to do is go a few hundred kilometres to find me hahaha. but i was always wondering about pianist envy so i decided maybe i was better of finding someone who played a different instrument. but oh well just letting you know there are some nice female pianists in australia, and i know a couple more too!

[Lance Morrison]

i would love to meet a female musician, especially a pianist. problem with the music program here (where i live) is that everyone seems stuck up........but if I met a nice girl, and she could play even just a single piece in the classical repotoire, i'd probably be hers

[BoliverAllmon]

dude i am a nice female pianist, and all you have to do is go a few hundred kilometres to find me hahaha. but i was always wondering about pianist envy so i decided maybe i was better of finding someone who played a different instrument. but oh well just letting you know there are some nice female pianists in australia, and i know a couple more too!

is cupid flying around? HMMMMM......

[pianonut]

i'm confused.  nice girl?  leather?  why don't you just come out and say what you mean:  looking for smart bad girl.  wears leather at concerts.   

[apion]

i would love to meet a female musician, especially a pianist. problem with the music program here is that everyone seems stuck up........but if I met a nice girl, and she could play *anything* in the classical repotoire, i would be hers

Every once in a while you'll find a musician that doesn't have an exceedingly large ego.

[pianonut]

oh. so now the ego is involved.  how do you quantify ego?  you don't want some lame duck do you?

[apion]

oh. so now the ego is involved.  how do you quantify ego?  you don't want some lame duck do you?

Perhaps having a large ego (or, more accurately, "substantial self-confidence") is a prerequisite to great musicianship, at least with respect to soloists.

[pianonut]

yes!  i suppose you are right!  it's funny because the ones that aren't so good usually have the big ego, and the ones that are spectacular are pretty much down to earth (i think).  singers might be another matter.  i sort of take that back though, because i heard (last semester) a very young singer with immense talent and beautiful tone that was extremely humble.  what was nice, is that she didn't get nervous when she sang either.  she just went up there, performed, and made it look like serving a drink.  (i never regretted my decision to marry a singer - though i should have checked how well he cleaned house - alas, he cooks well but does not clean).

[rafant]

Coming back from short vacations and I have this nice surprise of so many posts to this humble thread submitted as a little joke. Thanks to all. (Previously when I wanted to contribute with a flashy thread I submitted an erotic topic, the easy way, you see).

Hey!, who posed my thread?

Yes, Mikeyg, it was me. I hesitated a bit before posing your thread, but after contributing by posting to it, I considered myself with some permission. I'm glad your thread is crowded also.

One unexpected and welcome outcome has been to know who is female in this forum!

Without moving us too much away from the joke line, a great deal of the music we love and play was composed to woo a lady in some manner (I think in Scarlatti composing so many and beautiful sonatas to please his Queen, under the motivation of getting her delighted by playing them, since she was a good player). I never heard the music of female composers as Clara Schumann, Fanny Mendelssohn or Alma Mahler, but if they composed some piano work to swoon a gentleman, how this would make a difference in the quality of the music? Piano music (and instrumental music in general), seems to be unisex, and so, the same piano music commonly used to woo ladies is suitable to woo us. It's the purpose of the player what matters. Of course it's quite different with vocal or dance music.

[pianonut]

the only difference with vocal and dance is that they stand up.  say, did you know marimbists are kind of cool, too.  they stand up.  move around, and generally play like one would on the piano (just with mallots).  they can choose the size, too.

[Torp]

...they can choose the size, too.

I thought that didn't matter....

Jef

[pianonut]

that's where the leather pants come in.  they make any size look good.  oh, how should i know?  i just know when i turned fourty and saw this guy in the card isle with leather pants on, i forgot what time it was and followed him down the next isle.  then, i had to repeat to myself, 'you are married...will you quit gawkling."  (had to push the cart, too, so that slowed me down).  now--i have successfully passed fourty and am back to my comfortable life (thankfully my husband and i like each others sizes, too) so when i see a really good looking guy it doesn't phase me (unless he plays the piano really well, and then i have to bite my arm and pray).

[stefano]

when a girl plays mozart really well.  I think its cute. when she plays rachmaninov well its really attractive. but she has to be pretty to begin with.

[Dazzer]

dude i am a nice female pianist, and all you have to do is go a few hundred kilometres to find me hahaha. but i was always wondering about pianist envy so i decided maybe i was better of finding someone who played a different instrument. but oh well just letting you know there are some nice female pianists in australia, and i know a couple more too!

Care to intro me to some? lol... i just hope they aren't better than me at the piano... ... i have a very fragile ego - sigh -

[Jacey1973]

I won't bother reiterating my thoughts on the other wooing thread, but I'll just say, if a girl ever bothered to play something just for me I'd probably be wooed, whether it's Ornstein or whatever. 
Although the odds of meeting a nice pianist girl are pretty remote, I think it might be a blessing in disguise. Pianist relationships probably don't work out so well due to piano envy. One person would hog the piano all the time, and when a fanatical pianist is deprived of pianism - we all know how ugly that gets.

I think the odds of meeting a nice pianist boy are also "pretty remote" - none exist at my Uni anyway!

Most of the time i find if a guy is a good pianist and good looking, he is completely arrogent, it's always the less good looking but talented pianists who have a lovely personality but i just dont find them attractive!

I also reckon a pianist relationship wouldn't logically work out - as if you lived together and only had one piano - there would be a constant battle over it! You would have to have a piano each in seperate rooms i reckon - or just don't live together! But i would still like to give it a try as in previous relationships i've had (all of my past boyfriends were not pianists - or classical musicians) i always eventually got bored because i wasn't able to discuss pianism - or even classical music generally in depth with them. My ex boyfriend (of 4 years) wouldn't even attend classical music concerts with me - so i felt pretty isolated when attending a concert and having no one to discuss it with afterwards.

I think there is something attractive about all pianists, just because it is such an expressive and passionate instrument.

[Dazzer]

meh playing the piano hardly attracts any "mainstream" girls... i've got to learn some taiwanese pop songs or something before they'd even glance my way.

and i'm not attractive in any way

looks like the odds are stacked against me eh!?

[galonia]

My ex boyfriend (of 4 years) wouldn't even attend classical music concerts with me - so i felt pretty isolated when attending a concert and having no one to discuss it with afterwards.

Ah, my bf isn't musical in any way (I often suspect he's tone deaf) but he likes to attend concerts with me.  But he'll turn up in his tennis clothes, at the Sydney Opera House, where everyone else is all nicely dressed, and then at intermission, he'll look around and comment, "I think I'm the most under-dressed person here tonight."

And he does this EVERY time, which makes me suspect that he's now doing it on purpose...

So don't worry about your ex-bf not attending concerts with you.  It was probably better that way.   

[mmason]

Well Jenni, I guess we're just going to have to meet up......"a spectacularly handsome man, in his prime I..."...........anyway......
Back to what a girl would have to do to get into my panties.
Sitting on the piano she would glance lovingly at me at first....then totally out of the blue she'd look over at me like she's been possessed by the devil,...launching straight into the final movement of Prokofiev's 7th piano sonata, full speed ahead. If she gets through that without me "intervening", she can start on Ravel's "Alborada del ...bla bla bla(by that stage)  before finishing with Ravel and Prokofiev Toccatas, but I'd doubt she make it that far. If that doesn't do it, "Gulistan" by Sorabji and it's game over.
Love
Mike.

[etudes]

La Campanella Liszt
Winterwind Etude (op.25 no.11) Chopin
or Cziffra Bumblebee !!

[puma]

    Honestly, I couldn't think of having a relationship with someone other than a musically inclined person.  All of my successful relationships have been with someone who was musically talented, the ones below par, well, with those who did not care about music / not-so-talented.  But I have yet to find a relationship with someone completely devoted to music or any of the arts, for that matter.  I came close...once...so it's still a big dream for me.