Dealing with depression.

[Dazzer]

Does anyone have any tips on dealing with depression?

(if you've been keeping track on my posts you'll see a certain... negative streak throughout.)

meh... life sucks.

[m1469]

Well, you are not the only one  .  Don't worry Dazzer.

Here are my thoughts on this here (and others in that thread) :

https://www.pianoforum.net/smf/index.php/topic,6075.msg59964.html#msg59964

m1469

[Floristan]

listening to other pianists makes me depressed. going to lessons makes me depressed. playing the piano makes me depressed.

i need a shrink...

You've answered your own question.  Seek professional help.  Depression is serious.

In the meantime rent the Marx Brothers "Duck Soup" or Mel Brooks "High Anxiety".  If one of those doesn't make you at least smile, well...you can always blame it on my dumb sense of humor!  

[torchygirl]

Dazzer-

If you are really down (having suicidal ideations, long-term feelings of worthlessness, etc.) definitely seek professional help such as Floristan suggests.  If you're in doubt with regard to whether or not you should seek help, why not just check it out?  You don't have to follow through on anything.  But why take a risk with what can be a terminal disease, right?  This phone number is good USA nationwide for seeking help:  800-784-2433.

If you are just going through a down phase....well, that's life as a sensitive and creative person lives it (at least as I see it).  I think it's good to take some time to just live with it.  Good things to do are meditating, yoga, long walks, reading, drawing, gardening, running....any non-competitive and creative outlets that work with your mindset and uplift you. It's probably your body and mind going through some adjustments that you need time and patience to sort through.  Try not to do too many things that make you miserable, try not to isolate yourself, try to get some little things accomplished and do something physical every day.  And the big one is, be forgiving of yourself.  We all feel worthless some of the time.  Life is very cyclical.

Best of luck,

Karen

[lagin]

My mom used to be really depressed when I was little.  She even had to stay in the hospital for a while.  Then she found God and realized that He was all she was looking for in life.  He was the only One Who would never let her down and Who loved her unconditionally.  It was as His child that she trully found her self worth in life and found meaning in living.

I sometimes wrap my self worth up in how well I play (forgetting Who gave me the ability in the first place).  Then I get depressed because I feel like I can never "make the grade."  But when I remember Who loves me and why I'm here, I feel much better.

I suppose if you don't believe in God this won't be very encouraging, eh?  And even if you do believe in Him, but don't really know Him, then this wouldn't work, either.  Well... At least you know you're not the only one going through this .

[janice]

Lagin, I agree 100% with everything you said!!! Knowing that the God who created you has a purpose for your life is a really awesome thing!  I mean, even when life seems to royally suck I can still be content (but first I have to throw a temper tantrum or have a pity-party, and all parties need to be catered!  lol).  I am content because I know that my life has a purpose, even though I can't see it.  I mean, even though Terri Schiavo couldn't do a thing, her life had a meaning and a purpose, and I think that that purpose was to wake people up.  (Sorry, I should have posted this in the Terri Schiavo thread)

[Floristan]

Dazzer,

If the God thing works for you, great!  Apparently it's doing it for Janice and lagin.  But if not, know that there are other, non-religious solutions that work better, in my opinion.  Religion is not a panacea, though many would like to think it is.  But hey, whatever works for you dude.  Keep your options open.  Torchygirl's post above is most excellent, and she's right, it'll pass with time.  Time seems to expand when we're depressed, it seems endless, but I swear to you, it will pass.  I speak from much experience.

Depression seeks isolation so that it can really work on you.  Don't let it.  Stay as active as you can.  Keep involved, even if you don't feel like it.  If it's really debilitation, seek help, don't go it alone.

[timothy42b]

If you are sad there are lots of things you can do. 

If you are hungry there are lots of things you can do.

But if you have diabetes you are going to have to get help.  And if you actually are depressed, you're going to need help with that too.  Modern medicine has made a lot of progress in the last decade or so. 

[Dazzer]

well personally i regard myself as agnostic. i don't really believe in a god. but i do believe in fate. one that constantly screws me over.

and personally, even if i did believe in a god, it'd be a god that screws me over everyday too. haha.

ah well...

[torchygirl]

Dazzer,

Now I have noticed your posts and their negative theme.  I think you should talk to someone.  There is no point in continuing to suffer.  Depression can become very self-perpetuating (if you're always thinking how awful you are, how can you possibly do your best?). 

Which country are you in, if you don't mind my asking?  I don't mind finding a number for you to call.

Karen

[Bacfokievrahms]

Yeah depression sucks but it's our fault for being depressed anyway. In any case, for what my opinion's worth, I don't recommend taking anti-depressant drugs because I think they ignore the underlying problem and are only useful if the depression is severely disabling.

I do recommend talking to somebody in open personal discussion, letting things out and figure out why you're depressed and what you plan on doing to make things better.

And, I highly recommend getting exercise and feeling comfortable and untense in your body.

[torchygirl]

Yeah depression sucks but it's our fault for being depressed anyway. In any case, for what my opinion's worth, I don't recommend taking anti-depressant drugs because I think they ignore the underlying problem and are only useful if the depression is severely disabling.

Ummm, this statement is a bit dangerous to make.  Certainly there are environmental factors influencing mental disorders (there are cases of identical twins where one twin suffers a disorder, but the other does not....even with schizophrenia).  But nobody chooses to be depressed or schizophrenic or bipolar.  And the environmental factor can be a physical or emotional injury totally out of the sufferer's control (even in utero).  Who would choose to suffer from a mental disease?  The idea that it is the sufferer's fault is *really* outdated.  As is the idea that this is a personal or character weakness.

This isn't to say that you can't exert some control over a mental disease (or, possibly, most diseases) by how you view the world, the self-messages you make, how you treat yourself(and others), etc.  That is possible in many cases. 

But there are many people also who *cannot* think their way out.  Clearly there is a great deal of evidence that there is a biochemical component that, at least in some cases, can't be overcome with just will.  And that physical/chemical component can be the "root" cause.

Also, the relationship between artistic sensitivity and creativity and mental disorders is fascinating.  IMHO, there may very well be an evolutionary asset to people who suffer such problems.  My point here is that it is a part of the spectrum of human behavior, and having a wide spectrum can be advantageous to the human population as a whole.  This advantage is lost, however, if the person suffers so much that they cannot function well (or kill themselves).

Karen
PS For some fascinating reads on neurological disorders see books by Oliver Sacks such as "The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat.

[Bacfokievrahms]

There are no excess words in the following statement, all words are necesary for exactitude.

While there is a great deal of evidence linking the appearance of - what we have reduced through scientific language and scientific paradigm - biochemical compounds to cases of mental disorder, there is no evidence (to my knowledge) that suggests that the initial shift in biochemical compounds is not caused by the mental disorder. Furthermore, the emphasis on therapeutic emotional and physical treatments suggest that mental disorders are inherently related to the way in which we live our lives.

Now, you migt say that my first statement is a load of bullshit because forced manipulation of biochemical compounds can result in symptoms of mental disorder. That may seem to work and make sense for you, but can you really believe that mental disorders are freak occurrences that do not make a statement about yourself? That seems to be nothing more than escapism to me.

No, I liken mental disorder and biochemical compounds (and really, all supposed functions of the brain) to glee and a smile. When you are feeling happy and giddy you cannot help but to smile. When you smile, you feel the need to be giddy. I feel as if all these "measured" reactions of brain function are simply reactions to something else that is going on. (I won't continue here because it concerns metaphysical belief and, of course, there are those who will refuse to be convinced by arguments that fall out of the scientific paradigm (no matter its inherent reductionism).

This is not to disount the importance of what I see as reactionary substances because they do truly have an effect, much like smiling and gleefulness, I certainly do believe that these biochemical compounds do affect symptoms of mental disorder. I refuse to believe that they are of themselves the prime initiators of longterm mental disorder unless under extraordinary circumstances.

Finally, I do believe that we choose to have mental disorder - much like one who doesn't exercise and eats irresponsibly chooses to gain fatty tissue. (I'm sure somebody will have something to say about this one, but it has large potential to turn into a flame war so I will not argue this point. I will just use it as an example.)

PS
I too think the correlation because artistic sensitivity and mental disorder is very interesting.

[lagin]

I would just like to say thank you.  So many people get sooo defensive when anyone says anything about God, even if it's not refering to them.  I makes you wonder why they get so angry.....No one balls out someone for believing in Santa Claus!  So if God's a fake, who cares what anyone says about Him!  But, if He's real, then they have no argument.  Anyway, I was glad to see that you have an open mind.  I have a lot of respect for people that don't have to shove their opinions in your face.  You presented you view very respectfully, so thank you.

Dazzer,

If the God thing works for you, great!  Apparently it's doing it for Janice and lagin.  But if not, know that there are other, non-religious solutions that work better, in my opinion.  Religion is not a panacea, though many would like to think it is.  But hey, whatever works for you dude.  Keep your options open.  Torchygirl's post above is most excellent, and she's right, it'll pass with time.  Time seems to expand when we're depressed, it seems endless, but I swear to you, it will pass.  I speak from much experience.

Depression seeks isolation so that it can really work on you.  Don't let it.  Stay as active as you can.  Keep involved, even if you don't feel like it.  If it's really debilitation, seek help, don't go it alone.

[lostinidlewonder]

Ask yourself what does being depressed do? What function does it serve you? Why do you need it? If you have answers to that then you have lots of help. But if you do not, and just feel depression because you do not know, that is where you have to start thinking what is your meaning to life. To feel the despair of depression must have a reason which relates very closely to your life meaning and your direction. A lot of us stand at cross roads and do not know which way to go in life that is when we fall down and get depressed because we are too frightened to see what lies ahead and take a chance.

Ask yourself every day what do you need to offer, not to anyone else, but what do you need to offer yourself, by yourself. Of course like 4/10 people are depressed in this world nowadays so it is nothing uncommon, and i really feel that the 6/10 who are undaignosed do have lots of depression but they can forget about it and charge on even with it in the back of their heads. We don't get rid of it, we instead use it for a creative purpose or drive.

[BoliverAllmon]

I would suggest seeing a doctor that is willing to discuss and find the underlying problems and work there. Not give you a happy drug. My dad was on a happy drug for quite a long time. The drugs didn't really make him that much happier, but they brought health risks. When he finally began to deal with some of his issues he was a completely different person. Dealing is better than pill popping.

[mikeyg]

I speak from experience.  Drugs (zoloft) did nothing except make me hyper and get me inalot of trouble at school.  Counciling is helpful, but it can only do so much.  The most important thing (for me atleast) is to find (you can only do this by yourself) what makes you unhappy and eliminate it .  For me, it was high school, so, with my parents permission, I withdrew and went to UNH (I am 16, I withdrew in the midle of my junior year).  I am majoring in Physics.  I cannot tell you how much happier I am now.  It is unbelievable. 

So, basically what you need to do is take time, as much as necessary, and figure out what it is that makes you unhappy.  It is normally only one or two things.  Then, no matter what it is, wheter it be a job or where you live, you need to change it. 

And let me reiterate:  Do not take drugs.  They are a waste of money.

           

[BoliverAllmon]

I speak from experience.  Drugs (zoloft) did nothing except make me hyper and get me inalot of trouble at school.  Counciling is helpful, but it can only do so much.  The most important thing (for me atleast) is to find (you can only do this by yourself) what makes you unhappy and eliminate it .  For me, it was high school, so, with my parents permission, I withdrew and went to UNH (I am 16, I withdrew in the midle of my junior year).  I am majoring in Physics.  I cannot tell you how much happier I am now.  It is unbelievable. 

So, basically what you need to do is take time, as much as necessary, and figure out what it is that makes you unhappy.  It is normally only one or two things.  Then, no matter what it is, wheter it be a job or where you live, you need to change it. 

And let me reiterate:  Do not take drugs.  They are a waste of money.

           

drugs will also screw you over. You can easily become addicted or accustomed to them so when you try to get rid of them you actually become worse than before you took them until your body learns to function without the drug

[earthward]

meh... life sucks.

I know. I've felt like this before. But trust me, it doesn't have to suck. It's true that you need to figure out what's making you unhappy - but sometimes it isn't so much external factors that are making you unhappy but your internal reactions to them which can be so habitual you aren't even aware of them.  you've got to be kind to yourself.  If you're a very negative person (I can relate because I'm trying to get over this myself) of course it drags you down because it's almost like having someone following you around screaming in your ear all day long.  But negativity is a state of mind, and once you realize that you can choose to look at the positive aspects of things, it makes it a lot easier.

And adolescence is really hard because you don't have perspective on things so a crisis can seem like the end of the world.  But hang in there.  It definitely gets better. 

[timothy42b]

There are no excess words in the following statement, all words are necesary for exactitude.

I've snipped the excess words.  IMO.

Your opinions are selfconsistent, philosophically, but not very realistic.

That's a polite way of saying I think you're dangerously wrong.  I base this on about 10 years experience working in mental hospitals, a couple years in university counseling clinics, and having friends and family members suffer from depression.

Sure, there is depression caused by external circumstance - personal tragedy, life stresses, etc.  And that kind of depression can normally be dealt with by talking it through or finding a good way to shift your attitude.  Religion can be extremely helpful. 

Depression caused by internal processes (endogenous) is a different matter entirely.  The medications, when you get it right, have an incredible effect.  The diabetes analogy is really very close.  Positive thinking doesn't do much for your blood sugar, nor for depression caused by biochemical changes.  Medication is literally lifesaving in both cases. 

[Bacfokievrahms]

Hmm, well I could very well be wrong. I do not have much experience dealing with depression in a recuperative fashion (other than my own). Perhaps depression caused by biochemical imbalances with no foundation in the person's lifestyle exists, but the thought of that doesn't leave me quite content.


Btw, what would you say was the average physical activity level of the depressed people in the clinic?

[Dazzer]

someone gave me a bit of vodka to drink. then had a bit of a cry and a laugh (its strange... i was doing both at the same time)

but i felt better after that... haha

[puma]

         You know what helps a lot? Getting outside of the house to do something.   This may seem obvious, but when you are depressed, it really does not.  Things tend to sneak up on you.  You may not want to go outside, and may lie around the house for days, even weeks, on end.  Just get outside of the house.  Even 15 minutes will help.

[marialice]

Ok, now I'll just say something. I have opened this thread many times already, every time wanting to say something but not being able to find the right words. I still haven't found them (the right words), but I just want you to know that you are not the only one.

And Puma, thanks for your advice. You are so right...

[pianomann1984]

Read the Snail Race thread that has been ressurected lately!!!  Garunteed to put a smile on your face!

someone gave me a bit of vodka to drink. then had a bit of a cry and a laugh (its strange... i was doing both at the same time)

but i felt better after that... haha

Hmmm...forgive me for being negative for a moment, but if you could do this without drinking, it would be much healthier, physically and mentally, I think.  I think Puma makes an excellent point - it is all too tempting to sit and stew in front of the TV for weeks on end.  Also...just talk it out with someone.  My piano teacher is an experienced concert pianist and said after a particularly rough patch when I was under more strain than I have ever been under (I got to a point where drowning was looking like a particularly peaceful prospect!  ), that it is really important that you surround yourself with close friends and family that you can talk to, because, as you can see by the popularity of this thread, depression soon becomes pretty familiar terretory to the performing musician!  I would be more than happy to talk to anyone who is having problems as someone who has been there, and continues to go there and attempts to deal with it, sometimes alone, and sometime with the help of counsellors/freinds/family.  I am no counsellor, but I am a good listener, and a sensitive giver of advice when I can give it.  check my profile for e-mail/msn messenger.  Dont be afraid to seek help.

[Lance Morrison]

the past two weeks I've layed in bed most of the time. Can't get myself to go to class. I wanted to cut myself really badly, but now found that our knives are extremely dull, so that won't work. Now I'm thinking about overdosing on my antidepressant nortriptyline. Talking to people just doesn't seem to help anymore. I've been in the hopital twice, would like to go there again but am afraid to let everyone down again.....it feels like killing myself would make them happier in the long run, and ease my suffering. Sigh........life

[tds]

I've been in the hopital twice, would like to go there again but am afraid to let everyone down again.....it feels like killing myself would make them happier in the long run, and ease my suffering. Sigh........life

not at all, i dont believe you would let professionals down by coming back to them. you simply can't let them down, nor, in the best scenario, should they care about anything more than helping their patients to the max. doctors are helpers. try to get help, and be strong. you must but first be willing to help yourself! life is a problem. no matter how one sees it, it keeps going. don't give up, there is always a way out. all the best, tds

[maryruth]

Okay, well, if you're layinig in bed all day and having suicidal ideation, I would highly recommend seeking professional help.  Of course, I know you know that.  You said you've been like this before...so, then, you must remember that there will be a time again when you aren't like this--the feeling will go away.  Are you bipolar?  It seems you might be if your depressions leave you lying in a heap.  I do know what it's like.  I've been in the exact same place--lying in bed all day fantasizing about my bottle of pills.  I've been in the hospital, too.  It does eventually get better.  Sure, it could happen again, but arn't the okay times worth waiting for.  Oh, and don't think that you'll be letting everyone down by seeking help.  I mean really, seeking help is the brave and good thing to do.  People probably want to help you.  Killing yourself is really a chicken-**** way of dealing with it all.  

[Lance Morrison]

sorry everyone for being egocentric and talking about myself.......i feel guilty for doing that now. im am a useless worthless person and will always be so. you all are fine people who do not need my annoyance. i'll leave this topic alone and ponder my existance on my own. i dont know if this is the end of life for me or not, but it sure is feeling like it. thanks to both of you for responding, but i dont want to take up any more of your time. sorry for everything

[Bacfokievrahms]

You probably want to feel depressed and forsaken because you've identified your personality with it. You also seem to be expressing a sense of inferiority to other people and you probably blame it on yourself or your personal history, but the fact of the matter is that you are equal and worth just as much as anyone else, an individual creation of God's mind.

If any of this feels true about you, I implore you to try meditation with an emphasis on maintaining equanimity to all external consequences, to realize that it is your existential right to be as valuable as anyone else,  and learn that what feels missing from you - the lack of which makes you feel incomplete - has always been inside yourself and has nothing to do with external validation or external means.

[pianomann1984]

sorry everyone for being egocentric and talking about myself.......i feel guilty for doing that now. im am a useless worthless person and will always be so. you all are fine people who do not need my annoyance. i'll leave this topic alone and ponder my existance on my own. i dont know if this is the end of life for me or not, but it sure is feeling like it. thanks to both of you for responding, but i dont want to take up any more of your time. sorry for everything

Please email me...we'll ponder existence together. I've been trying for some time now to understand why we all get like this and maybe you can help me.  My sister suffers with a severe personality disorder which causes her to feel incredibly insignifacant.  She has overdosed on several occaisions and is a long-term self-harmer.  She is now in a position were professionals are starting to help her to understand why she gets like this, and things are gradually getting easier.  I admire her so much for sticking through and (fingers crossed) getting out the end of this!  By doing the same you will gain as much admiration, if not more.  Depression after a while gets to be a seemingly safe barrier to the world, and it is really difficult to get out, but you can get out!  Please dont become just another statistic, by being yet another depressed person.  Become the intelligent individual that you were born to be, and still are behind those layers of depression.  You will be fine.

Yours,

Chris Stokes

[Muzakian]

Someone commented earlier on the link between creativity and emotionality - what more evidence do you need than this forum? I don't find this surprising personally, as I believe the artistic mind is, in some real sense, like a child's mind. This may sound insulting to some, but I mean quite the opposite, for as Kafka said, "Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see Beauty". By virtue of this same heightened sensitivity, youth also experiences great unhappiness.
I think it is a truism that most adults forget what it is like to be a child, and hence lose their youthful temperaments, sensitivity to both the good and the bad in life - and consequently lose much of their humanity. With such pressure on everyone to "grow up" , the very joy of existence is sometimes beaten out of people. So to those of you who experience both high highs and low lows in life, do not take this for granted, and please remember that it IS a virtue. Only when it gets out of control might it be considered a bi-polar disorder; there is no dichotomy. Counselling and medication may be necessary to control very extreme emotional states.
Unfortunately death can be a very appealing method of dealing with these low states, especially in these people I have described - the children at heart. I think most of the time death is seen as rather romantic to the sensitive person, for a couple of reasons. Some may view suicide as martyrdom - that their death will draw the sympathy of others, who will be made to feel guilty before the deceased and elevate them to the realm of the Gods. Others may feel they are freeing their loved ones of an unwanted burden, thus causing these people to be thankful to the deceased for their actions and once again, deify them, or at least think admirably of them. In either case, these people are not necessarily wishing death, they just wish to feel like good people. They also forget, that should the world think more favourably of them in their death, nevertheless they will not be around to observe this. Death is absolute. Romantic ideas about death always avoid this fact. By imagining what might happen if I die, I am placing myself in the position of an observer after I die - a position I will never take.
The only unconditional love in this world comes from families. To think that your family would ever view you as a burden is, except in some very unfortunate cases that probably don't apply to anyone here, dead wrong. A family member of mine once got the idea into his head (at least I assume he did; I'll never know what he really thought that day) that he was a burden upon me (amongst others), and that I would be happier and better off should he die. He couldn't have been more wrong. By ending his life that day, my life was altered more drastically than the rest of my experiences put together. And it was quite awful for many years. Family members are about the only humans one can depend on with any confidence in this world - if you are feeling depressed they will want to help you, and will want to see you get better (not die!!), because they do care about you.
The same can't be said of husbands/wives/partners etc. They are not blood related, and cannot be depended on in the same way, in my opinion. That half of marriages today end in divorce highlights this fact. People simply change too much throughout the lifespan - a 15 year old is a different person at 20, at 30 and at 50. No matter how much two young people have in common, twenty years will probably see them as very different people to one another, and it is a truism that we all grow further apart as we age. So my point is that we mustn't rely on other people to make things better for us. Many people are tempted to do this, to think "I'd be happy if I had a boyfriend/girlfriend", but it really is never the case for very long. We all have to learn to find happiness and contentment on our own. Those that depend on others will never get there. Most of the time we just have to learn that money/school marks/exams/employment/relationships/travel or possessions - all the "big things" in life - are really not worth living for. It is the partying after exams, the many hours spent marvelling at the sound coming out of your piano as you hit the keys, the rain outside your window, the thrill of reading a good book - it is the simple things, in a word it is the beauty in life that is worth living for. You may change, but these beautiful things are permanent - you may always depend on them, and this is something you can say for NO human being. Happiness is available to us all. In the words of the great Franz Kafka (again) -
"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet."

Good luck! I hope this helped.

[maryruth]

A good book to read about creativity and mood swings--TOUCHED WITH FIRE, Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament, by Kay Redfield Jamison. 

It's a great read--it has a lot of quotes from artists (poets, painters, musicians, etc)  it gives biographical details of several artists and deals with the whole debate between "Do artists create in spite of their often-debilitating problems with moods? OR is there something about the experience of prolonged periods of melancholia--broken at times by episodes of manic intesity and expansiveness--that leads to a different kind of insight, compassion and expression of the human condition?"

----------

[klavierkonzerte]

looks like many of us suffer or suffered from depression

i started a topic about my depression about a 2 months ago when  my depression blew the charts and i tried to kill myself (check it out)

i can't tell you that my depression is gone now but it isn't as strong is it used to
but i can tell you ,i wish that i go blind and lose my fingers if i'm lying or even alittil exaturating, that i'm glad and thank god that i went throu that stage because i got many GREAT things out of it

taking about your problem helps alot BELIVE YOU ME, it feels great after.
talk about it with a friend or a family member and if you want you can talk to me because i have been where you are rigtht now and belive me you'd be doing me a favor maybe we can talk about our problems
psychotherapist are not really helpfull (at least not to me) there'r just a waste of money.

maybe you can try writing your thoughts
somtimes when i don't find anyone to talk to or don't feel like talking i write my feelings on a paper
i also write what i want to do or wish to happen it somhow feels good i still do this almost everyday.

try doing things that you enjoy (althou at that time there was nothing that i find myself able to enjoy) and don't think about what depresses you just say every thing is great and will only get better
right now the thing i enjoy the most is playing in public, you should look for the things that makes you happy.

[greyrune]

i'm glad and thank god that i went throu that stage because i got many GREAT things out of it

That's so true.  It's the bad times in our lives that define us.  At the time life may feel pointless and the world a cold hard place.  I have to admit that i have never been through a depression so strong that i seriously contemplated suicide.  I thought about, who hasn't, but never seriously.  I don't know if what i can say can help without being able to truly relate to that kind of emotion.  What i can say is that as far as personal development goes, i don't think i've ever particularly grown through being happy, it's simply a state of being.  When we are in pain it is the healing from that pain that makes us stronger than we were before.  I have to say a phrase that has always helped me in life is "This too, in time, will pass" I think someone famous said that.  It is a phrase that can lift you up in the bad times but keep you wary in the good.  I know it seems harsh but life will always have its up's and down's.  Just think of this as the biggest valley you have ever fallen into with the steepest climb up to the other side, but just imagine the view when you get there.  Well thats my two cents, it may well be redundant at this point but this is a subject that i really do feel strongly about.

[Siberian Husky]

Musikian,

I understand your standpoint and opinions when saying that blood/family are the ONLY people you can fully depend on in a crisis-like situation where turmoil is unbearable...i can only read that once and without thinking twice, know that what you have said is not true (for me, and im sure for alot of others as well)...

I myself am to the point where i simply and concretely refuse to invest great amounts of trust to ANYONE...i'v been cheated on by 3 consecutive girlfriends..lied to by my friends...kiddnapped by my own family memers when i was a child (one of my own parents)...maybe its just my luck..or maybe my expectations for people's loyalty and trust are just overthetop and unable to achieve, this attribute of mine, not being able to invest much love/trust into people has been the deteriorator of many relationships and still to this day its hard for me to maintain a solid foundation with anyone whether it be a significant other or friend due to the fact that i dont allow myself to open up...i dont live with family nor do i have many friends, just a few acquaintances and maybe a handful of fair-weathered friends...

because of my theory of mind and opinions on PEOPLE in general...i have turned to animals, i do dog training and work for a dog food company, i own 2 siberian huskies, one bearded dragon, two cockatiels, one congo african grey parrot, one red ear slider turtle, one tarantula, one skink lizard, two rats, one hamster, and some fish (cichlids)....because of my newfound love for animals, for their compassion, loyalty and innability to lie, i get most of my needed love and compassion interacting with these animals...perhaps its just so much of a relief to me knowing that they care for me as i care for them without the fear of potential instability on their part, they cannot fail in what they do best, and that is live in truthness, a characteristic that i pride them for....many see my state of being..and my love for animals as simply a void i am filling due to human social neglect throughout my misfortunate episodes...but i could honestly care less about people's opinions about the way i live my life...i strive for happiness and virtuous goodness and my love for animals has allowed me to experience what i thought was never possible...REAL FRIENDSHIP...

and i cant sit here and mope about what i'd gone through although i have before..i cant sit here and use my past experiences as a crutch to blame for my innability to invest love and trust into people as easily...i thank my God for putting me through what i have experienced...i wouldnt have it any other way...and because of this..im on track to transfer to UC Davis in California for School of Veterinary Medicine....yyyeeaaauupp..theres more to it..but i just wanted to give you a synopsis of how i began to cope with my depression..im sure many of you also have interesting and enlightening stories of your lives..i'd like to hear them...

Wishes better than anyone else could give you,
-Luis

[Bob]

Man this is long thread.

The cure for depression is work.  Start a project.  Set attainable goals.  Do some work.

Or take a break.  Totally slack off and sleep a lot.  Then come back and work.

[Muzakian]

Siberian Husky,
I'm sorry about your past relationships.  I suppose I was only saying that, as a rule, one can count on their family's support more than friends, partners or anyone else. There is an unmistakeable bond between parents and their children (especially between the mother and child) that isn't replicated in any other human relationships. Having said that, it doesn't always happen, and it seems you've had to learn that the hard way. Learning to find happiness without the need of human support is quite commendable though, and it is in a nutshell what I am striving for now.

On another note, Bacfokievrahms - although it is right to think that depression is all "in our heads", it doesn't follow that we are responsible for being depressed. Much goes on in our brains outside of our concsious awareness. The existence of a "processing level" of the brain, of the unconscious mind, has been scientifically demonstrated. I think the iceberg analogy applies quite well - the light of our conscious thought can only probe a small fraction of our minds (the tip of the iceberg). An individual could attempt to acheive happiness by using their conscious thought and behaviour optimally and still, due to unconscious influences (such as chemical imbalances and unconscious cognitive influences), experience depression.

[Lance Morrison]

thought i'd just post once again. sorry to be annoying and waste anyone's time. this is the last time i promise.

i happy to be over-lucky and, undeservingly, have some great friends who have helped pull me out of being suicidal, temporarily at least. I am not by any means better, but just have been able to ignore my problems for a few days. I went to the psyhchiatrist today and told him about all that had been running through my head, and he wasnt too bloody concerned.

i feel disillusioned. my life has amounted to nothing. oh sure, im only 20, but i should have accomplished SOMETHING by now......i have had so much potential in many areas, but none of it has amounted to anything. music.... i have failed with 4 instruments.....im done with it

i'm done posting at the pianoforum. i promise. im sorry for everything

[Siberian Husky]

Musikian,

I understand your standpoint and opinions when saying that blood/family are the ONLY people you can fully depend on in a crisis-like situation where turmoil is unbearable...i can only read that once and without thinking twice, know that what you have said is not true (for me, and im sure for alot of others as well)...

I myself am to the point where i simply and concretely refuse to invest great amounts of trust to ANYONE...i'v been cheated on by 3 consecutive girlfriends..lied to by my friends...kiddnapped by my own family memers when i was a child (one of my own parents)...maybe its just my luck..or maybe my expectations for people's loyalty and trust are just overthetop and unable to achieve, this attribute of mine, not being able to invest much love/trust into people has been the deteriorator of many relationships and still to this day its hard for me to maintain a solid foundation with anyone whether it be a significant other or friend due to the fact that i dont allow myself to open up...i dont live with family nor do i have many friends, just a few acquaintances and maybe a handful of fair-weathered friends...

because of my theory of mind and opinions on PEOPLE in general...i have turned to animals, i do dog training and work for a dog food company, i own 2 siberian huskies, one bearded dragon, two cockatiels, one congo african grey parrot, one red ear slider turtle, one tarantula, one skink lizard, two rats, one hamster, and some fish (cichlids)....because of my newfound love for animals, for their compassion, loyalty and innability to lie, i get most of my needed love and compassion interacting with these animals...perhaps its just so much of a relief to me knowing that they care for me as i care for them without the fear of potential instability on their part, they cannot fail in what they do best, and that is live in truthness, a characteristic that i pride them for....many see my state of being..and my love for animals as simply a void i am filling due to human social neglect throughout my misfortunate episodes...but i could honestly care less about people's opinions about the way i live my life...i strive for happiness and virtuous goodness and my love for animals has allowed me to experience what i thought was never possible...REAL FRIENDSHIP...

and i cant sit here and mope about what i'd gone through although i have before..i cant sit here and use my past experiences as a crutch to blame for my innability to invest love and trust into people as easily...i thank my God for putting me through what i have experienced...i wouldnt have it any other way...and because of this..im on track to transfer to UC Davis in California for School of Veterinary Medicine....yyyeeaaauupp..theres more to it..but i just wanted to give you a synopsis of how i began to cope with my depression..im sure many of you also have interesting and enlightening stories of your lives..i'd like to hear them...

Wishes better than anyone else could give you,
-Luis

Fascinating to take a peak back in time. The way the internet documents everything provides us with such a unique phenomenon to "visit" our own selves. Change is constant.