An Uncomfortable Student-Teacher Relationship

[i_m_robot]

Female teachers should never lean over a student

why not?

Any physical contact is not recommended.  My first piano teacher had large breasts and I remember feeling uncomfortable when she would lean into me to show me something.   I am not a touchy person and it was an unwelcomed invasion into my personal space. 
D

did you not enjoy the soft caress of her bosom?

[Bob]

No one should lean over a student.  There's really no need.  If you need to demonstrate something, play on the extremem registers or ask the student to move so you can show them on the keyboard.


(The following is a joke that sounds like serious adivce.)

Here's another solution -- Tell the parents up front what is unacceptable.  Be very clear about what things you will not accept as a teacher.  Obviously, Eliza did not do this.  If she had clear about her expectations in the beginning, she wouldn't have been in this situation.

(... because the parents would have been freaked out and wouldn't have taken her on as a teacher).

[Chrysalis]

Why do i have the strange feeling Eliza's Real name must be Leonard, 16 year old and
probably wanking over all answers pf members gave to this though-up problem
Maybe because she/he doesn't/don't post anymore? good point

[aajjmb]

Why do i have the strange feeling Eliza's Real name must be Leonard, 16 year old and
probably wanking over all answers pf members gave to this though-up problem
Maybe because she/he doesn't/don't post anymore? good point

haha wanking lol
that actually is the funniest word ever... i remeber when i used to live in england... no1 over here in canada knows what it means thou lol

I don't think any1 would be jerking off to a piano forum thread... and if they were then i have wonder about them.....(i can't find the throwing up simley like they have on msn)

[i_m_robot]

suddenly it goes from inuendo to open lewdness





right on

[stevie]

Why do i have the strange feeling Eliza's Real name must be Leonard, 16 year old and
probably wanking over all answers pf members gave to this though-up problem
Maybe because she/he doesn't/don't post anymore? good point

hahahaha, why leonard?

[leahcim]

hahahaha, why leonard?

Yeah, and how did they know hurricaine Wilma's name was Wilma?

[gilad]

I'm not sure how much this pertains to the Piano Forum. However, I am having a problem with one of my students:

Uh, well... I might as well just come right out and say it: one of my students is getting vissibly aroused when he plays the piano during lessons, and it's really starting to bother me. I would've talked to him about it, but it's really embarassing and I'd rather not bring it up. Especially with all the laws they have in place about sexual harassment and minors. I don't want to get sued for saying anything. What would you do in this situation? Also; he's currently going through a personal problem and I don't want to make things harder for him.

Thanks for all your help,

Eliza.

i wonder whether the choice of words was accidental, for some reason i wood assume otherwise. and haha,yes why leonard?

[rimv2]

Topical death and rebirth. She probably aint comin back.

[stevie]

i wonder whether the choice of words was accidental, for some reason i wood assume otherwise. and haha,yes why leonard?

i wouldnt be so quick to assume, if she doesnt come , the student actually might sometime, sounds like a gifted student.

[oksanapianist]

Eliza-

If everyone is always staring at your breasts- what in the world are you wearing when you teach?!

When I feel at all uncomfortable with a male student - simply put- I'll dress like a bag lady- therfore- there are no breasts to stare at or an erection to deal with. Put a big sweatshirt on over your big sweat pants and your problem is solved. Period. It's helped me out and made getting through a lesson much easier.

[cfortunato]

This whole thread is completely ridiculous.  Why are people talking about the student's "behavior"?  Are they under the illusion that 17-year-olds will their erections.  They get erections like most people breathe, several times a day, whether they want to or not.

"Eliza"'s beleif that there is something "inappropriate" or that she needs to "do something about it" may be the dumbest single sentiment that I am not personally responsible for.

Sheesh.

Short answer:

He gets a hard-on.  So the hell WHAT?  Unless he starts rubbing it on your leg, it's none of your damned business.

[leahcim]

Are they under the illusion that 17-year-olds will their erections.

If they die young perhaps they do.

[pizno]

 
Tell him you dropped a pencil way back in the piano and when he reaches for it,  close the lid on it.

Oops, so sorry.

 

[stevie]

hahahahah harsh

[rimv2]

Sick

[jimykid86]

Hmm... Eliza,

If the problem bothers you that much and if having one less student won’t be a problem on your income, then find some ways to get out of teaching him.

If you are trying to make this work, then try not to let him be a problem.  Plus, if you know how to turn a guy on, then you can probably turn a guy off.  Accidentally fall your hand on the piano and make a loud noise may do it.  Just say you didn't get enough sleep and dozed off.

You can also try motivational speech.  Make him serious.  That way you wouldn’t make him depress and he would respect you more.

Oh, you can also try to dress a little bit more like a man.  Okay, it is a little bit out there, but it will surely turn him off.  If he still gets excited, then it’s probably the music.  If it gets to this point, I don’t know what to say.

Plus, a “student and a teacher” relationship is barely a relationship.  In some plain terms, you guys are just two individuals, which one happens to know more than the other.

And talking to his parents about the problem is not a good idea.  Unless you know the parents well; otherwise, you will either give the parents the wrong impression of you or you will make everybody uncomfortable.

Oh one last thing is don't be paranoid.  If someone holding a knife is standing next to you, that doesn't mean he/she is going to stab you.  Try to be calm and patient with this.

Hope that help. 

Jim

PS:  I notice that some of you guys aren't treating this problem seriously.

[pianistimo]

whatever you do, make a lot of noise.  especially if you work at a school.   

'johnny, can't you get that to go down.'    so everyone hears down the hallway.  that way, you're covered.

if you're at home, hopefully your family is around.  maybe, 'fire, fire!' 

[cfortunato]

Eliza:

Have you thought of offering him a hand job for a small extra fee?

[crazy for ivan moravec]

can i be your trial student? i need to know if it's gonna be your fault or mine. 

don't worry, im 22.


hahahahaha

[maxreger]

some of you guys need to grow some balls...

"unwelcomed invasion???"

If the teacher was hot she could annex my country right away

[gilad]

i've seen in many cases of female teachers engaging in sexual relations with theirs students the teachers are suprisingly sexy. that kills me, i'd rather they went legit with me than messed around with a pubescent lad.

[pianistimo]

most teachers i know have gotten past the point of worrying about having a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband - and if they are a serious teacher wouldn't be looking at the students pants anyway.  if you love what you are teaching - you're too focused to worry about if someone has to go to the bathroom or take care of themselves.  it's only when you bring something into view that you allow that mindset into the lesson.  if someone is so silly - they'd just be canned probably by a serious teacher. 

[gruffalo]

you can't blame the kid. people say, ah get a girlfriend. but im 17 and i can say that  (girlfriend or not) you cant control getting a stiffy when theres a big pair of fun bags in your presence.