Previously on "The tale of despereaux" (please don't sue for plaigerism) Young Fred met his nemesis the evil Shrewnberg. Disgusted and traumatised by this creature's music Fred set out on a journey of musical exploration that was to prepare him for the final confrontation with the atonal creations of the shrew. While Fred was learning under the wise Ratmaninov and the relaxed yet profoundly deep procowfiev, his beloved piano was trapped back at home being tortured by the relentless pounding that was inflicted on her. So Fred began his jouney home to his burrow knowing that the final confrontation was due. And now the thrilling conclusion of "The tale of despereaux".
So after another long and arduous journey Fred's own burrow was finally in sight. How he longed to stroke the keys of his beloved, to tease beauty from her strings once again. He thought of these things yet he knew that all would be in vain if he could not defeat the evil Shrewnberg. His memories of his first experience of this music were still at the back of his mind, the nameless fear that crept into his dreams at night, well he knew the name now but it was still scary. He dreaded the final confrontation yet he knew that the only way he could ever be happy again was to win. Finally he reached the enclosure where his piano stood. Sure enough there was Srewnberg. He sat with a group of badgers around him, all nodding sagely as he spoke of inversions and augmentations, none knowing what the hell he was talking about.
Fred strode boldly into the centre of the circle. The Shrew looked up, for a second the calm veneer of his face broken, but it soon recomposed, he gave a wide smile.
"So," he said, "you came back"
"But of course" Fred replied, calm in the face of his inner turmoil, as all good performers should be, "you didn't think i'd leave you here to corrupt these innocent minds did you?"
"Well actually yes i did" replied the shrew "i thought you'd pissed off for good"
"Well i haven't and now i'm afraid you're going to have to leave."
"Why ever would i do that?" Shrewnberg laughed or was it a cackle? it was hard for the untrained ear to percieve but Fred now had an ear that could tell a quarter tone with ease not to mention distinguish a tap from a prod or stamp from a stomp, so a cackle (he decided on cackle) was hardly a problem for him.
"I'll tell you what, if i can beat you in an improvisation contest will you leave?"
The shrew scoffed (another sound which Fred carefully distinguished from a chuckle)
"Very well, if you can do that then i'l leave, but it's hardly possible it's a mere matter of taste"
"Ok" Fred replied "we'll have a teame of judeges, you may choose whomever you like"
"Excellent, i pick these four" he pointed to the four closest to him "These are my closest subjects, they know what's good music. We play tomorrow at dawn." So the two parted, Fred to greet his family again - who had been forced into burrow arrest as musical heretics - and Shrewnberg to the cold comfort of his luxurious new burrow and the sycophantic crooning of those around him.
At dawn they rose. As they walked out into the clearing the first ray of sunshine sprung through the trees shining directly on the piano bathing it in a pool of light (i'm going for the cheese effect here, after all badgers like cheese don't they?). Shrewnberg stalked to the piano and took his seat without saying a word. The four judges stood by attentive. The shrew tapped out a few sparse notes then frowned.
"This bloody thing's out of tune again, how many times do i have to retune it?"
"Hold on" said Fred, "Let me" He walked up the piano and lovingly ran his claw across the ivory. "It's alright" he whishpered, "i can do this, don't you worry my dear, you'll be getting plaid (sic, ooh sexual innuendo there) again soon."
So Shrewnberg sat down again, he began doubtfully but soon saw the notes were in perfect tune. Fred heard an A and counted - yep, definately 440 waves there. So the competition began.
Shrewnberg began with a simple theme, the twelve notes played in an almost melodic phrase. Then he began to twist in and bend it. Melodies becam harmonies, harmonies disappeared into a wall of sound. But Fred heard it differently now. He heard the numbers, he heard them twist, he saw mathmatical genious being played. the shrew was so fast, he would multiply everything by three, divide by four, bend it symetrically, all in a split second. Yet while Fred could hear the numbers and see thier natural beauty he saw the weakness he would exploit. There was no soul, the music was empty, and he intended to fill it. So the playing ended. The judeges clapped wildly, spouting meaningless complents. Then, eyeing the shrew as he stood, smirking quietly, Fred took his place at the piano.
He began with a simple melody as the shrew had done only this one sounded beautiful in its simplicity. The he began to add a simple harmony, chord I, chord V. Shrewnberg quietly gloated in his corner. This was uninteresting simplicity, he couldn't see the beatuy in it. Then Fred began to build. The shrew heard a seventh, and shrugged, a ninth he arched his brow, a thirteenth, he was still not nervous. Then Fred brought back his first melody. The harmony was dropped the simplicity regained. Then he played the most beatiful three part counterpoint, only in the wrong key, the beauty remained but with an uneasiness that was part of the soul of this so tormented badger. The shrew was shocked for the first time. Then the variations began, so many and so fast, moving into every key from tonality into wild and expressive discord. The shrew was flaberghasted (i've always wanted to use that word) he saw his own music unravel before him. His head hung in shame. When Fred drew to his final dramatic close the judges only stood in silence. There was no applause but a silent agreement, all in the glen knew what was to happen, and the shrew left dejected, not even daring to put up a fight.
So everything ended happily, there was a big party with lots of nice music, everyone learned an important lesson and Fred was reunited with his piano.
The End
Well done if you read through all that, if not, it's probably not worth it anyway.