My girlfriend thinks she's fat

[allchopin]

Is this a trend among all girls of the world today?  It not only bothers her that she thinks she is fat every day (which she is not, and I remind her of this) but it is bothering me to no end.

My question: how can I possibly convince her that she isn't the fat person she sees herself as?  She even knows that it's stupid to think this, and she isn't anorexic, but continues to uphold this disparaging attitude.

Please no asking to post pics. 

[stevie]

i am in a similar situation, girlfriend is already thin(too thin for my tatse) and wants to attain 'perfection' by being extremely thin..
i mean ...she says things like 'i wonder if i can get so thin you could see my spine from the front'

naturally this is disturbing and worrying for me, dont know what to do.

[dinosaurtales]

I don't know if I can help here, but, as a GIRL I can say that our culture conditions us from birth to want to be thin, even if we are built like I am!  There's really not much we can do about that, but we all seem to deal with it in a variety of ways.  But you are experiencing the most common way -the constant need to be on a diet, regardless of her weight.

[stevie]

indeed, it is obvious they have been conditioned to think this way.

in general, thin simply isnt attractive, slim is...and theres quite a difference.

but the question, how can this 'conditioning' be reversed?

[steve jones]

Dieting is the single worst way to lose weight, especially frequent crash dieting. A healthy diet, and plenty of exercise is a far better way to go about it.

Its unlikely that you'll be able to convince your laby that she doesnt need to be a rake, so the best you can do is direct her in the best way to do it. If she diets to much now, its likely that she will struggle with her weight for the rest of her life.

[quantum]

Ask her a few questions:

What are the advantages of weiging less that she does now?   

What does she think she's supposed to weigh? 

Does she have a set goal of how thin she wants to be? 

What are the advantages of ataing such a goal? 

What does she plan to do once she attains such a goal?

Define "fat" in her own words.   

Define her ideal figure. 

Is her desire to be "not fat" her own or is she trying to live up to another persons standard?

What are the consequences of being fat? (both physical and social)

In her opinion is it possible for a "fat" person to be beautiful?

Ask her to name elements of beauty that are ONLY communicated through the mass media and social stereotypes. 

If she had never seen a mirror in her life, would she think she is a good person?  (list all qualities of such a person)



All answers should come from her and she may not have any external help in answering them.  Hopefully it will make her at least think about ideas about being fat instead of just following everyone else and dieting just because everyone else does so. 

[gorbee natcase]

I am afraid there is no point telling her otherwise its psychological I think

[pianistimo]

quantum has some good ideas so you don't start 'lecturing.'  asking her questions every now and then (taking one or two at a time during a conversation - when she brings up the weight issue). 

my mom is actually overweight, but i never bring up the topic.  she usually does when a dessert is offerred or something happens that she starts to feel out of control.  unfortunately, over the years, my dad has sometimes joked with her about it.  this really has hurt her feelings, so she is extra sensitive to joking.

she tried weight watchers, jenny craig, all kinds of natural and unnatural diets, etc. etc. and found that her 'natural' body weight tended to shift back even after exercise and diet.  now, she has found gardening to be sort of a relaxing and meditating kind of thing.  and, even if she is not completely satisfied with her body, people often compliment her on her garden and things she can do.  she isn't ugly, by any means, but she never seems to be satisfied with her looks.  (i can't understand this because often women who are slightly overweight are more 'voluptuous' reubenesque figures). 

maybe hollywood is the culprite and also, fashion designers (although many are starting to design for larger sized women).  what is kinda strange to me, is that i am much taller than my mom and naturally much thinner (taking my dad's genes or something).  i haven't struggled with my weight that much, but at times when i was younger wished that i had the fuller bust.  which ever side you are on, you always want something on the other.  i guess as women get older they naturally gain weight everywhere - it kinda equals out the playing field.

when i was in my 20's, i could still eat anything and not gain. in my thirties, i noticed weight gain around pregnancy was hard to get rid of so i started bicycling a lot.  now, in my fourties, i can't eat bread.  at all.  one banana split and i gain 10 lbs instantly.  so i rarely eat ice-cream and try to take the burger out of the bun.  you can ask for diet plates, but the trick is to eat slowly whenever you eat (making yourself take a certain number of chews).  you see, i know this because instead of overeating, i was one of those skinny diet concious girls when younger.  if you copy what they do and eat little bites.  saving a portion of your plate for the birds.  things like that.  you'll probably at least maintain the weight you are at.

exercise is the number one thing to make a person feel good about themselves, imo.  even if you don't lose weight per se, you are toning your skin.  so, you don't, in effect, look fat.  it doesn't hang in folds.  buying a weight machine, trampoline, etc. couldn't hurt.  then, when complaints are started - you just point at the machine and tell her to do a few and you'll treat her to some soup and crackers.  (this is sounding sad) but really, to help someone, you kind of have to eat the same diet (and hide your cookies).  my dad has learned to not crack jokes, to eat similarly, and to encourage my mom by taking her out more and making her feel personally that he likes to be with her.

[allchopin]

She has been dieting frequently, but of course, these statements never hold water (diets for a few days then eats fattening foods again)

And she has told me why she wants to go on the diet.   She says she 'doesn't want to be one of those girls who you look at on the street and say ooo, she's fat'.  She thinks she's ugly because of this, equating fat with ugly.  Her goal is only to lose 5-10 pounds, to bring her to what she thinks is normal weight.  We've talked about what people think a girl should ideally weigh, and she agrees that extremely thin is not her aim at all (though secretly, I don't think she'd mind ).  We have discussed pretty much every aspect of this, and I think we agree on most points.  However, I just can't get her to stop obsessing over this petty issue.

I have to say that I think the media has had a profound impact on girls, including my her.  I make fun of her for reading Cosmopolitan which can't help this situation at all (but that is probably an issue for another thread).  Would it be safe to tell her that she can eat however she likes as long as she matches it with equal doses of exercise (which she does do too actually)?

ps. girls feel free to share more thoughts.  Nobody can interpret the female mind better!

[pianistimo]

 

5-10 lbs.  hmmm.  that's really not much.  she can't be that overweight.  i think she's obsessing. 

as far as cosmopolitan magazine. there's some good tips for how to do your hair/makeup, how to have more freqent sex (maye you guys should get married and then she'd stop eating when she needs it), and how to manage your portfolio (of men?) but not much on general common sense. 

i mean, i used to read those magazines when i was 16-18 years old.  now i read gardening magazines and designing magazines.  how many times can you look at a pouty mouthed girl or a sexy bare chested guy without having breathing problems.  it just puts you in a frame of mind that is sort of like a mouse on a treadmill.  you have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend look like that?  i don't think it would be fulfilling.  they'd be too into themselves.  and, maybe wear you out from their egocentric desires to look sexy, talk sexy, and have sex all the time.  it's just not natural.  it sort of laboratory techniques (trying to obtain statistics from people about how much sex they can take in a day).

ok.  i admit, occasionally (very occasionally and rarely) i (and probablym1469too) take a peek in those to read the latest tips.

[m1469]

I find myself more at liberty to experience beauty, and the finer aspects of life, when my balance between

Motivation
Activity
Commitment

does not revolve around trying to attain something I either do not feel I currently possess, nor have the right to possess.


m1469

[thalbergmad]

It does seem to be a worrying trend amongst young girls to be pencil thin.

I partially blame the so called super models and other associated stick insect celebrities. They happily display figures that are close to emaciated and God only knows what they have done to themselves to achieve it.

Girls that really are fat, don't seem to think they are. If your girlfriend thinks she is fat, i will dig out a photo of my ex that will make her feel better. I had to cuddle her in shifts.

[paris]

ps. girls feel free to share more thoughts. Nobody can interpret the female mind better!

when girls are complaining how fat they are, thats typical female trick for getting attention, believe me. 

[ptmidwest]

YES.  It's part of their early-level training. 

Girls must attend meetings where they learn from older women how to perform these complex tricks, and to refine them until the men

crumble

to...


their.....




knees........

It's an organized conspiracy, and we are dismayed that Paris' sophistication has broken the secrecy.

[paris]

It's an organized conspiracy, and we are dismayed that Paris' sophistication has broken the secrecy.

 

[gilad]

when girls are complaining how fat they are, thats typical female trick for getting attention, believe me. 

my god, that's hilarious! i seriously dont understand women and doubt i ever will.

[Bob]

Have her go to a doctor and get a professional opinion of how healthy she is and if she is overweight.

Calculate her body mass index.  Look up "body mass index calculator" and find out what's under, ideal, and overweight.

That will give you something a little more solid to go from.

[timothy42b]

Q:  Does this dress make me look fat?

Wrong A:  No, dear, I don't think it is the dress. 

Don't ask me how I know this. 

Seriously, though, there is some confusion in the above posts about the relationship between societal pressures, eating disorders, and body image.

The obvious advantages of being thin in a society that values this highly do result in motivating people to diet, exercise, etc., sometimes excessively.  (Just like the advantage of being highly skilled at piano playing may motivate some of us to practice.  fortunately I don't have that problem <grin>)

But that is not what happens with eating disorders.  Those people ARE thin and they are not capable of believing it.  Their body image is messed up.  And it is not caused by societal pressure.  Samoan society with a fairly heavy female role model produces just as much body image related eating disorders.  Anorexia/bulemia/etc., are not caused by admiring fashion supermodels. 

[alzado]

Frankly, I find full-figured women to be very attractive.

Moreover, regardless of size, people -- men or women -- can work a bit with their appearance.  Wardrobe, and in a woman's case, make-up.

If you like the person as she is, tell her.

[BoliverAllmon]

Is this a trend among all girls of the world today?  It not only bothers her that she thinks she is fat every day (which she is not, and I remind her of this) but it is bothering me to no end.

My question: how can I possibly convince her that she isn't the fat person she sees herself as?  She even knows that it's stupid to think this, and she isn't anorexic, but continues to uphold this disparaging attitude.

Please no asking to post pics. 

tell her she is fat. When you wake up out of your coma, show her how stupid it was to think that way.

[jas]

when girls are complaining how fat they are, thats typical female trick for getting attention, believe me. 

It's true! Well, not always, but a lot of the time it's just a not-so-subtle way of fishing for a compliment.

I think a big part of it is the clothes that the fashion industry churn out for girls to wear. Whatever's 'in' at the time, as demonstrated by stick-thin models on magazine pages, or stick-thin celebrities, is always designed (and made) with thin people in mind.
It's different for men. When something's in fashion at any time, say the mini skirt thing a while ago, there are mini skirts everywhere. It's so difficult to find nice clothes that don't conform to whatever Sienna Miller or whoever is wearing at the time. So if you don't have her size 8 figure or don't feel confident enough to wear one you basically can't wear what's fashionable, and assume it's because you're fatter than she is.
Totally stupid, I know. I think individuality is far more important than walking around with a tiny, skinny frame and looking exactly like everyone else, but I think I'm in a minority.
Men don't have this, though. You can just wear what you wear, get clothes that fit, and that's the end of it.

Frankly, I find full-figured women to be very attractive.

I agree. Speaking as a heterosexual woman, I think women with curvier figures are so much more attractive than skinny ones. I mean, people like Kelly Brook and Catherine Zeta-Jones and Scarlett Johanssen attract far more male attention than skinnier women. Who's ever looked at Victoria Beckham or Kate Moss and said they have a great body? Hardly anyone. Because they look like crap.

Jas

[6ft 4]

Kelly Brook "full figured"?!?!?

By saying that you're only making things worse....its like the media and therefore most women say Jeniffer Lopez has a massive ass, yet compared to the average human being both Kelly Brook and JLo are very very slim.

I imagine allchopin's girlfriend reads statements like "Kelly Brook is full figured" and thinks "omg SHE'S full figured?!?....and i thought I was quite slim" and hence has wrong ideas about what is slim and what is not.


And btw Victoria Beckham has a manked face and is generally a complete gibbon.
Kate Moss is very attractive.

[leahcim]

Kelly Brook "full figured"?!?!?

I think it means 32E as opposed to 32B

[pianistimo]

wow.  then 34 B is really an x size.  thanks for making me feel like dolly parton for a day.

[cadenz]

ask her what she thinks a lonely pianist would do without someone big and cuddly to snuggle with at night 

no not really. but on a more realistic note.

basically it seems to me that this is a case of you find your girlfriend attractive the way she is, but the fact is, one of the things you physically find attractive in her, is something she personally hates, and this can be a very big strain on a relationship. when a girl knows that her partner likes something about her which she personally finds repulsive, it can make things even worse.

there are probably two things i feel i should note. firstly and most importantly is, that its her body. that means, its got nothing to do with you what she wants to do with herself. and ideally one should be able to love their partner regardless of appearances.

a second point to add is that, when it may be the fact that the girl has honest preferences toward being a slim/skinny person, it is probably more likely she has low selfesteem, and that if she did lose weight she would still feel badly about herself.

and what can you do about it? well, first and foremost, be honest with her. tell her that you find her attractive the way she is, and if its true, that you would dislike her to lose weight, you need to discuss it, because it might be important to you, else i feel you wouldn't be making this post.

on helping her self-esteem... does she have any friends who are larger than herself? if not, this can make a girl feel very awkward if she feels she's bigger than all her friends. also ask her if she thinks theres any large women, or larger women than her that she knows who she thinks are attractive. and how many large women she can see who seem to be happy holding hands with a partner.

but its impossible to really 'help' someone who feels they won't accept help/compliments, or, truely has a personal preference not caused by media, towards looking slender. and if this in a woman conflicts with a males interests, i suggest they make sure about some of these things before getting in a relationship. people come in different shapes and sizes and theres usually somebody for everybody.

but good luck. i hope things go well between you two

cadenz

[jas]

Kelly Brook "full figured"?!?!?

By saying that you're only making things worse....its like the media and therefore most women say Jeniffer Lopez has a massive ass, yet compared to the average human being both Kelly Brook and JLo are very very slim.

I imagine allchopin's girlfriend reads statements like "Kelly Brook is full figured" and thinks "omg SHE'S full figured?!?....and i thought I was quite slim" and hence has wrong ideas about what is slim and what is not.

My idea of someone who's "full-figured" is someone who has curves where they're meant to be, ie. they don't look like half of them's missing. Kelly Brook has what I'd consider a full figure because she's not a skinny, straight-up-and-down waif. She may be on the thinner end of the scale, but that doesn't mean she hasn't got a figure. I completely agree with what you say about Jennifer Lopez, she's very thin. This huge bum she's supposed to have is only huge compared to the rest of her.
You're right, though. Both of them are thinner than me, but I'm not fat. No one should ever look to the media for an idea of what they should look like. It's a bad idea.

And btw Victoria Beckham has a manked face and is generally a complete gibbon.

Not the word I'd have gone for but hey.

Kate Moss is very attractive.

Fair enough. It's all subjective.

Jas

[lyzle]

I'm not too sure on how you'd change her ideals, but if it helps...
You could tell her that dieting would only make things worse in the long run.  Eating balanced meals regularly keeps your metabolic rate up, whereas diets and sporadic meals lower it.  And a low metabolic rate=faster weight gain when you DO eat something.

And someone mentioned the other day that diets based on soy substitutes were bad for females...not too sure about that one though...

[prometheus]

When hollywood actresses become really full figured the director or producer tells them they are fat and have to lose weight. If they don't they get fired.

All those thin actresses are either naturally very thin, are anorexic or heroine/cocaine addicts.

[perfect_pitch]

how can I possibly convince her that she isn't the fat person she sees herself as?  She even knows that it's stupid to think this, and she isn't anorexic, but continues to uphold this disparaging attitude.

EASY!!! Tell her this... Every single person knows his or her individual and smallest flaws with themselves... eg me... I could lose a kilo or 2 and build a bit more strength, but all my friends like me for who I am. The last person who should be trying to control every little mistake and little things about themselves.... is THEMSELVES!!!!

They can look past the tiny indiscrepancies and teensy little flaws, because everyone knows that NO ONE is perfect. But there are people who like them for who they are, exactly as they are. And changing yourself to suit other peoples expectations of you is a crime against themselves. I was never popular at school and never went out of my way to try and fit in, and I didn't care, because I was ME and I was happy just being myself.

Having said that... All women think they're the tiniest bit fat (at one stage or another - and don't try to deny it  ) You can try my answer above... but whatever you do - DON'T EVER SAY "Yes honey, you could stand to lose a couple of pounds" 



(I'll probably get a cyber kick in the gonads for saying my previous bracketed comment by every single female in these forums....  )

[allchopin]

Ah, much input - thanks for all the suggestions.

To start, paris, I think you may be on to something with the idea that it's for attention.  That might be part of it, as she does bring it up with hopes that I console her, but I I know she really does see herself differently than I do.

Bob:  we have looked up her BMI and it's right on target.  I couldn't convince her with forthright opinion or data

cadenz: Putting myself in her shoes, I think if she truly found attractive something about me that I did not, I would feel slightly better about it, not worse.  This may mean it is closer to a self-esteem issue as you said, because despite my efforts to cheer her up she fails to see how I do.  I am sincere in my opinions so it is either up to her or up to a new approach on my part to change her ways (which is the real point of this thread).
By the way, it can't help that her roommates are all very skinny girls, making her feel like the ugly duckling.

lyzle:  I agree - this is another issue which I don't think I've mentioned.  She has a problem with eating (keep in mind not to the point of severity as anorexia) that she always feels fat after eating, which is of course psychological.  Eating more along with excercise is better for the metabolism than not eating and doing excercise.  Maybe a dietician could interject with a few wise words?...

perfect_pitch: Hmm... this looks like a definite no-no.  If you can't convince with factual data (BMI, metabolism experiments, etc) or with honest opinions, saying 'nobody is perfect' is only going to dig the problem deeper.  Actually, I've even thought of using reverse psychology and just agreeing with her that she needs to lose weight.  Haven't thought it completely through yet though  .

[Bouter Boogie]

when girls are complaining how fat they are, thats typical female trick for getting attention, believe me. 

Exactly I was waiting for someone to say that, hehe.

- BB

[perfect_pitch]

Actually, I've even thought of using reverse psychology and just agreeing with her that she needs to lose weight.  Haven't thought it completely through yet though  .

DEAD MAN WALKING!!!! - And just remember - May God be with you   



(Poor bastard)...

[Jacey1973]

Kelly Brook "full figured"?!?!?

By saying that you're only making things worse....its like the media and therefore most women say Jeniffer Lopez has a massive ass, yet compared to the average human being both Kelly Brook and JLo are very very slim.

I imagine allchopin's girlfriend reads statements like "Kelly Brook is full figured" and thinks "omg SHE'S full figured?!?....and i thought I was quite slim" and hence has wrong ideas about what is slim and what is not.


And btw Victoria Beckham has a manked face and is generally a complete gibbon.
Kate Moss is very attractive.

That is so true (i actually agree with you for once!  ) The other day i read an article about Britney (Spears) and they called her "Britney thunder thighs" - i mean what's going on??? Ok she may look a little bigger than normal but thats cos she's pregnant!!!!! I would say she's perfectly healthy looking - her legs don't look like "thunder thighs" compared to the average woman's legs!!!

It is magazines at the end of the day. I know everyone always blames magazines but its true. The problem is that things will just never change, i guess they've got better in the last few years with the whole "men prefer curvy women" being discussed every 2 weeks - i saw this article in something like "Closer" (btw i NEVER buy these mags but my flatmates all used to obsessively so there was always a million lying around the house) and it was pictures of skinny celebs in bikinis V "curvy" celebs in bikinis - one of the "curvy" celebs was Charlotte Church (she's great) but my flatmates see her round Cardiff all the time and she's apparently tiny. I think TV and photos make celebs look bigger than they are anyway so i dread to think what someone like Kate Moss must look like close up.

And as for JLo's bum being huge - that pisses me off, cos she looks so tiny in films/at the Oscars etc, so her bum is still probably miniscule compared to the rest of ours.

I know i will always always think i'm fat but ive just got used to it. I remember making up a diet plan when i was about 7 or 8 years old and have been "dieting" ever since. Every girl i know thinks their fat, but ive just got used to it. My bf used to get pissed off with me too, but i kno i will always want to be thinner. I feel happier when im thinner.

[6ft 4]

lol while u were gone i actually did some serious posts that u rnt meant to see.

btw i NEVER buy these mags but my flatmates all used to obsessively so there was always a million lying around the house

sure.....it was ur flatmates.....right......oh i believe u haha

Charlotte Church (she's great)

in the sense that she went from singing fairly complex and subtle opera etc to now crappy pop songs that are massively overrated?

And as for JLo's bum being huge - that pisses me off, cos she looks so tiny in films/at the Oscars etc, so her bum is still probably miniscule compared to the rest of ours.

ours?

[Jacey1973]

No! I just love Charlotte Church cos she seems so ordinary, she really reminds me of all my Cardiff girlfriends thats probably why. In a musical sense i'm not a huge fan of her, she goes to all the same clubs and me and my friends too so she must be cool... lol...er yeah

[cadenz]

...
cadenz: Putting myself in her shoes, I think if she truly found attractive something about me that I did not, I would feel slightly better about it, not worse.

well yes you'd think that, and it can work like that, but the issue with weight with girls can be touchy. when saying that you find something attractive which she may feel she cannot ever possibly see as being attractive, she might either not believe you, or completely lose faith in your judgement. so she'd think you were untrustworthy or completely off your rockers

  This may mean it is closer to a self-esteem issue as you said, because despite my efforts to cheer her up she fails to see how I do.  I am sincere in my opinions so it is either up to her or up to a new approach on my part to change her ways (which is the real point of this thread).

well it is difficult, and you can only really let her know how much it means to you, and once she does understand that its up to her to decide what to do. you would want to try and take the bad feelings away from the idea of not being skinny, perhaps by stating that you don't really find certain skinny celebs at all attractive, or whatever. does she have any sweet foods she's really fond of? if so perhaps you could mention that it would be pointless to deprive herself for no reason. often people want something to be in control of, and if she could focus her way of control into 'not losing weight', rather than losing it.. perhaps she could gain some kind of acceptance with it. like if she could decide she didn't want to lose weight, and she was being successful with that, then she's in control.

By the way, it can't help that her roommates are all very skinny girls, making her feel like the ugly duckling.
...

no it doesn't. it is perfectly possibly that her roommates regularily state things which are very pro-skinny and anti-fat, and perhaps you could ask her about this and what she thinks about it. i know it's not exactly much help knowing that this could be a problem, but its just nice to have some ideas of what could be contributing to the problem.

but after all this, its wrong to really manipulate someone to do something they don't want to, so if at the end of the day she's still stuck in her ways after trying to take in all the different ideas, well then theres not a lot you can do.

sorry if i'm not a lot of help though. just trying to throw some ideas on the fire

cadenz

[frichmondj]

It's nothing new.  When I was younger........early 70's, my mother told me then, "All girls want to be built like someone's 13 yer old brother.  When they get to that point, they want to be built like someone's 13 year old brother with pneumonia."  She said it has been that way since she can remember......................
Just remember that whether or not you agree isn't important.  She feels a certain way right or wrong and your job is just to connect with what she feels, not what she really is...........yep, counceling gives you stupid answers like that.

[classicarts]

I can't believe why people are so overweight!! Why can't people just eat less if they feel they are overweight, instead of crying and whinning about it.  And perhaps, even make other peoples lives unbearable while they are at it.  I think I can discuss this topic forever but am not.  Because this isn't the place and time for it.  Simple solution to overweight problems IS  eat less and excercise.  There is no magic cure to over eating!!   Americans tends to stuff way too much food into our mouths.  Next time you over eat, think about the people who are dying of hunger in africa, and perhaps you will appreciate the amount of food you have and see overweightness as a blessing.    And maybe then, you will stop complaining about you being overweight.

[erik-]

I just think like Paris and Bouter Boogie that they may be trying to get attention, or something else.
Do they get enough sex ? 

[Bouter Boogie]

I just think like Paris and Bouter Boogie that they may be trying to get attention, or something else.
Do they get enough sex ? 

I actually don't want to get any attention by saying that I'm fat, that was just a joke. Why would I? I could get attention by saying other things, right? I don't think I'm overweight, I just think that I'm a little fat for my length, that's all.

- BB

[paris]

I actually don't want to get any attention by saying that I'm fat, that was just a joke. Why would I? I could get attention by saying other things, right? I don't think I'm overweight, I just think that I'm a little fat for my length, that's all.

- BB

well butter he was just agreeing with your and my opinion, not saying you're fat or that you wanna get attention

[Tash]

am i the only female on this planet that would like to GAIN weight? personally i can't stand being a toothpick because it's really no fun. no curves to fill out clothes with, and you go to the beach and what's there to show off? nothing except my rib bones and who wants to see that, you just get all these people staring at you going stop starving yourself please! which i harder than one might think- is there some book on how to gain weight cos i would like to read it, people say to eat potatoes and pasta and my god i eat a lot of that but as if it makes a difference. the day i put on 5kg i will be over the moon, but chances are i'm gonna have to wait until i get pregnant for that to happen...

[rimv2]

The magical cure all for all those whose girlfriends who wont stop saying they are fat

Tell them... Yup, you know what ...you're fat!

Then give them a discription of juss how fat they are.

Tell them to look in the mirror. Then gawk loudly while feigning amazement that it didnt break.

Tell her to become bulemic and that you only dig skinny models.

Call her FAT

Humiliate her in public.

Knock food out of her hands and tell her she doesnt need to gain any more weight

Look at her with disgust when ever she picks up any of her favorite foods.

Tell her its not the dress that makes her butt look big.

But most of all, and most importantly:

Tell her that you can't, and no one else will, love her unless she looses weight.

If you've done all these things, and she hasnt broken up with you -congradulations you just emotionally ruined a woman with already wanning self esteem. On the bright side you have yourself a nice new pet person.

However, if she does break up with you, she will have come out of that relationships with  a better understanding of herself. Either she will have learned a lesson about feigning dismay for affection and pretending to be insecure to gain complements, or (even better though less likely) she will shun men all together and become a lesbian.

Who knows... She might even come back to you one day...

[Siberian Husky]

Tell her its not the dress that makes her butt look big.

but i like big butts

[rimv2]

but i like big butts

You and us all my friend. You and us all.

[Bouter Boogie]

well butter he was just agreeing with your and my opinion, not saying you're fat or that you wanna get attention

You've got a point in that. All I want to say is that I was just joking. I don't think I'm that overweight.. I just think that I'm a little fat for my length, that's all.

- BB

[leahcim]

am i the only female on this planet that would like to GAIN weight?

Didn't Bob Geldof sing a song about them?

is there some book on how to gain weight cos i would like to read it

Yeah, the one you keep that you fill in everything you eat and how much exercise / activity you do. It might be enlightening.

TBH I wouldn't worry about it - but don't fall for the same "eat this, avoid that, never  wear a hat after 7pm" that those trying to lose weight do.

[sonatainfsharp]

Let me be politically incorrect for a moment...

Maybe she IS fat?

Remember, the AVERAGE person is OVER WEIGHT.

That being said, the next time I hear a girl who is 5'7" and barely 115 pounds say she is fat, I am going to sneak her an entire French Silk pie.

[contrapunctus]

This post is reinforcing the popular opinion that men are more analytical, and women are more emotional. I am 15, in tenth grade, I am very analytical, I do not do any thing until I have thought about the consequences, and if it will actually matter in the long run. I really do not enjoy talking to girls that much because I consider them to be overly hormonal about most things. I have observed some girls in my classes and they tend to always never do anything that would be a challenge or that would be against popular opinion. ex. I could never get a girl to go to a symphony even if they might like classical music which none of the girls I associate with do.

[leahcim]

Maybe she IS fat?

See the first post.