Robert,
As I had said to you, I'm sorry that I couldn't make it. I'm in the midwest (Iowa) and it just wasn't possible to make the trip. Sorry. I'm sorry that you are so upset about your performance. When I do a solo at my church, I rant and rave for days, and I listen to the tape of it over and over and over, and I pick it apart and analyze it. Then I get depressed and go eat a carton of Cool Whip. You get the picture. Then I regain my focus and my reason for playing. I'm not trying to coddle you or anything, but I bet that you just might feel better in a few weeks. Seriously. And if you happen to have a recording of it, wait a whole week, at least, before listening to it. That's what my teacher advised me to do last time I played. When I did actually listen to it, I thought it was awesome! If I would have listened to it immediately after performance, I would've become really depressed and I would've eaten a carton of Cool Whip! Your feelings just might pass. At your level, it's only natural to address the fine details in the music. But when we analyze a performance, I think that we have to FORCE ourselves to take a step back and look at the overall picture. So those were just some of my thoughts. We all would still like to see it broadcast somewhere!