Ted, I am curious when you say that your sound is spread across many styles and idioms, do you mean that the total of them or that they as a package form "your core voice" ? Or that in each of those styles you have a certain sound that you discern as your core voice ?
I suppose along those lines, I would think there is probably something that you inwardly experience as "you" when you are playing, which comes across as your core voice as it is expressed audibly. Which leads nicely into my thoughts on what arensky has commented on.
Arensky, I find your experience to be very interesting to me. I will start by saying that what you have stated toward the end of your post, regarding sound production is important and I would like to thank you for relating that back to Opera singing as it made a certain kind of perfect sense to me. Yes, I suppose the core sound is about sound production and it's something that I can gather kinesthetic information about while I am singing. So, I can really feel when I am singing from my core and when I am not. I am not sure about how to go about finding that with my piano, but it is probably what I hunger after the most in my playing.
I find your analogy about having Chopin's and Beethoven's "clothes" to fit you to be very appealing to me. It makes a lot of sense and I will admit that I often struggle with feeling like they do fit me. And, it is not that I feel like I don't get the music or am truly incapable of playing it. It is just that I feel tangled up in the ideas of needing to be true to the composer but also comfortable in my own skin, so to speak.
I would think that feeling comfortable in our own skin is perhaps a key to satisfying performance (and technique). And, I find your point about getting caught up into the mechanics and substituting your core sound with all of that to be very apropos for me. I am not sure I would have seen it as clearly as you mentioned, but I believe that's exactly what I have done in the past few years. I think when I was in University, I probably discovered my core voice, and then I became (gratefully) more concentrated on the mechanics with a different teacher (I needed it too). But, I am surely seeking with all of myself to experience my core sound and the mechanics as one solid package while I am playing the piano. Perhaps it is simply what I seek in the experience most of all and more than anything else about playing (and then I would like to share with people from there).
I feel like until I truly feel comfortable in my own skin or until I know I am expereincing my core sound, I am not truly sharing much of anything with anybody. I suppose I could be wrong, I don't know.
So, in thinking about what I have gathered from Ted in previous posts and so on, along with what you have said arensky, I am going to make a little summary of a possible path to discovering one's core sound :
I find it interesting that in both of your cases, improvistation and jazz have have played an important role. I find it intersting also that nobody else has posted in talking strictly of Classical music. It seems there is a definite element of needing to take matters into one's own hands. Making a decision and then following that with regard to venturing into the piano world as an individual. I suppose that kind of adventurous spirit requires a certain level of faith as well as courage in terms of dealing with what other people might think of you and what you may find on that particular road.
At this moment, I am now starting to see clearly a wall that seems to be stopping me in my endeavor to experience my core voice. I am scared (for some reason) to find out what is "my style". I am scared it will not end up being much of anything worth listening to. I suppose for both of you, you either were never scared of this, faced it with courage, or could care less what others thought of you.
So, along these lines, I have another question for you both. Do you feel there was a turning point of definition for you (It seems it was for you, arensky, and I wonder if in less precise ways, it was for you as well, Ted) ? What kind of awareness caused the turning point ? Or is it more something that one decides each day and every time you sit down to play ?
Thanks again, very much,
m1469 (the Tiger Lady

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