Sidedoor to the Lair

[Bob]

Sh.... It's a secret....

[pianistimo]

what's a secret?  oh.  the side door!  ok. 

bob, how come you like the chatroom so much?  are you hiding something?  what did you sneak in there?  i get the feeling that there's some lasagne in there.

[Bob]

i get the feeling that there's some lasagne in there.

Where did that come from?   Hmmmm
(Bob is suspicious now.)

[Bob]

(Bob notes the entrance to the lair is visible.)

[m1469]

*With freshly-baked goodies in hand, m1469 lifts her finger, swallows hard, and nervously rings the door bell... *






*waits a few minutes, hears shuffeling feets inside, leaves the baked goodies, and sadly walks away  *

[Bob]

(Bob kicks dirt at the door.)

Maybe it has to be sunset with a thrush knocking or something.




Oops...
(Bob realizes those were cookies and puts them back in a neat pile.)

[abell88]

Bob, Bob, Bob...cookies are for eating, not piling! If you don't want them, pass them along to those who do!

[Bob]

(Bob offers Abell cookies)

They only fell on the floor once.  They're still good.  If they don't look like chocolate chip, don't eat the black bits.

[amanfang]

This sidedoor is looking quite concealed. 

(Looks around for snails but doesn't see any.)

[Bob]

The sidedoor is open.  Knock loudly.

[Bob]

Bob emerges from the sidedoor and notices the cookies have disappeared.

[abell88]

abell88 doesn't believe in dieting, but realizes it's time to -- shall we say -- cut back a little on cookies.

[lisztisforkids]

The sidedoor is open. Knock loudly.

KNOCK,KNOCK

[pianistimo]

if the door is open, why do we have to knock?  lets surprise bob!  he's probably taking a nap.  we'll sneak up on him and play reveillie.  then, we'll interrogate him about the cookies.  he claims to tell people that if they don't trust the little black bits they shouldn't eat them - but then, what's this over in the corner (*finds pieces of cookies with the chocolate chips missing).  bob, this is like  licking frosting off of a cake.  you can't just eat all the chips and leave the cookies with holes.

[Bob]

Looks like it's open.  You could knock here too I think.  Otherwise you might have to wait around awhile.

[Siberian Husky]

bob's attempts at random humor give me the sensation that may mean one of the following five

1.) he is deeply in love with me
2.) 50 grit sand paper really DOESNT eliminate rust at its core
3.)Inertia being a property of matter isnt just an idea, but rather a recipe for Pork Chops a la Jalapeno Sauce
4.)This is MY website and forum, and Nils Johan is mearly a figure head
5.)candle wax makes for a great foundation for toilet pranks

[Bob]

Sorry Huskie.  I don't think it would work out.

(Bob stands by the door for awhile.)




[Bob is not gay in case anyone was wondering that.]

[Bob]

Closed again it seems.

[amanfang]

Bob,
I told my mother that Bob sends his love and kisses, and she said, "Who's Bob?"

[Tash]

you know i never knew of the existance of this thread until right now, where the hell was i???

[rc]

you know i never knew of the existance of this thread until right now, where the hell was i???

That's because it's a secret

[m1469]

Knock Knock...

[Bob]

Who's there?

[Bob]

Hmm....

[pianistimo]

about that cardboard box.  did you and alistair bait it with a puppy?  alistair doesn't like valley girls.  ah well.  i am in actuality, not  (i repeat NOT) a valley girl.  i have never gotten my nails done.  always pianistically thinking.  and, i never say 'that's hot!'  (i might think it - but it's usually, like, a baked potatoe).  i don't talk on the cell phone all the time, in fact - sometimes i just hang up on people for no reason because i don't like cell phones at all.  i've heard they give you brain cancer - so i try to minimize time on them.

say, bob, what do you say about arranging some music tonight?  i'll take the bass and you take the treble.  lets see how messed up we can make a piece of sorabji (just to get alistair back).  he'll know trouble when he sees what we have done.  as for mayla,  i don't knwo where she went after she knocked.  i think she is mad at the world.  i've been thinking about her a lot today.  i think you are the only one she will open up to (you allow her the space she needs).  most people try to answer her open ended questions with definitive answers.  i am realizing you can't have any fun if the answers are 'down pat.'  you have to search a little (fakes looking up and down and around - pretends to suddenly have a 'lightbulb' moment - and then forgets what it was  ***this pleases mayla). 

[pathetiquegirl]

knock knock.

[Bob]

(Bob pounds on the door)

Open d#^@%!


Hmm... Doesn't seem to be working...

[Bob]

(Sidedoor swings open.  Bob peers inside.)

[Tash]

and finds tash sitting on the floor practicing her flute)

bob i'm trying to practice can't you see!! *blows flute with half a sound...* and i really need to practice!

[Bob]

Pucker, kiss, and roll.  Cover the end and play low and then higher.  Kicking the chin out can help the high.

[pianistimo]

help the high?  remember the code of ethics that you set for yourself.  the terms you were supposed to use and not use?  and, yet, here we see minors minds blown on your lair floor (albeit blown from flute playing).  flutes can be positively dangerous.  maybe not as much as skydiving and getting your jumpsuit leg caught near the airplane wheel.

and what about that sidedoor swinging shut too fast?  *sets door stop to keep the automatic latch from clicking.  lights scented candle and starts cleaning up the place.  what do we have here?  cans/bottles/plates of half eaten cookies.  gets sidetracked by subversive pamphlets left by prometheus.

[Tash]

*passes out from blowing too much*

[Bob]

Use less air.  Don't work so hard.

[Tash]

true. i can get three notes out, thus play mary had a little lamb *starts playing again and drives everyone insane*

[ted]

Suddenly the company in the lair fall silent as an old, familiar grunting and scratching occurs at the door. The rusty hinges burst asunder and The Bear appears, a hideous spectre from the past, naked save for a torn red satin thong, his tick infested coat reeking of droppings and Ralph Lauren cologne. Tash drops her flute and passes out on the floor. The Bear picks it up and the company listen, paralysed with horror, as he commences an improvisation of the most atonal and avant-garde nature.

[Tash]

man i wish i could play like that. dammit give me my flute back!

*gets into a wrestle with the bear over the flute*

[pianistimo]

torn?  red satin thong.  ted!  i didn't know you hadn't passed midlife.  is it still going on?  i mean - hope that it wasn't too badly torn.  hands ted a blue bathrobe to make himself more 'decent' in front of the ladies.

i think 'intuition' smells better than ralph lauren.   do you mind trying this tester?  *advises ted to call home and let his wife know that he is simply trying out colognes in a lair. 

[ted]

The Bear graciously accepts the bathrobe and hands the flute back to Tash who commences a more seemly sonata with form and decorum. He produces a screwdriver concealed in his thong and fixes the hinge prior to departing for a shower, a shave and a very big sh.. sh ..sh.... shopping expedition for some "Intuition". 

[Tash]

yes i'm playing the carl vine flute sonata, accompanied by the wonderous ian munro, and yes, playing it better than geoffrey collins, they'll be wanting me in the australia ensemble soon enough just watch me go!

man that bear will smell good soon

[Bob]

(Bob admires the new decorations around the sidedoor)

[Bob]

(goes back to being a hermit)

[pianistimo]

i certainly hope they are not like my neighbors.  hearts on every square of the door.

[ihatepop]

ihatepop approches the door to the lair. and notices padlocks, chains, fingerprint-scanners, password decoders, and numerous other security devices...

He ponders on what to do...

ihatepop

[ihatepop]

ihatepop approaches the very first lock: a padlock with numbers ranging from 0 to 100. He randomly starts turning the knob. 0-25-10, 7-29-25, 46-76-91...but to no avil. Just as ihatepop was about to give up, he entered in the combenation that first came to him mind. 24-01-94. The lock snapped open. (Theres something special about those numbers, folks, start guessing!)

He approached the second security device...

ihatepop

[beethoven2]

Your birthday?

but when he touched it, it electrocuted him.  He lay there, half dead, when suddenly..............

[Bob]

Hmm... I don't see the door now.

[rach n bach]

Strange, RnB can see it... 
but that may be just because he is a newbe and hasn't been "enlightened" yet. 
Is this something that Bob can help with?   

[Bob]

(Bob sits and waits for the sunlight to hit just right so the keyhole is visible.)

The door might be open again in a bit.  I'm not sure.

It's yet another of the mysteries of the piano forum.  ooOOOOOooo..... :p

[Bob]

I've been and returned.  The door is open for a moment.

[rach n bach]

(RnB wonders if mysteries at the piano forum is a good thing or not) 

RnB dives for the open door with cookies in hand... 

Only to find...