what if they broke a leg? then they'd be limping and you'd automatically categorize them. (ok so i've been married 21 years in june). why don't you forget perfection and go for the real person. i'm not saying that purity isn't a first choice - but the society that we live in penalizes girls and guys don't hold the same standard. what if everyone made a pact in their teenage years for abstinence. then the girls wouldn't be pressured to have sex in the first place. the guys would be protecting them. i say that when you are serious you should marry the girl. otherwise - you're just taking something that isn't yours. and, that girls should value themselves a lot more and say 'no.' sometimes wanting a person to like you isn't a very good reason (but often a reason for teens). they don't know the psychological damage as well as physical. you can't help compare - whereas two people who are virgins would have each other on the highest pedestal. at the marriage ceremony is the time to cut and burn with a lighter all those pics of past girlfriends and boyfriends! i think marriage is great. you have one partner and hopefully someone who will value you not just for sex but for your mind. perfection is ideal - but seldom a reality. girls who do keep their virginity should be commended instead of ridiculed. maybe in this age more kids are coming around to that idea. it's really like being on the honor role. (*kind of wonder if the two sort of go together because if you are messing around - don't have the same attention span and time to get homework done).
i'd look for how the parents behave. often an indication of the fidelity of a person in general. children learn what they see done more than talk. if they've been divorced three times - good inidcation that they don't value a long lasting relationship unless they married young or had bad luck quite a few times.
i tell my kids to look for relationships in a church setting or activity other than bar or party. the person would be wider ranged then getting drunk. have some maturity and not get them into trouble all the time. think of the savings on your car insurance alone (let alone fidelity).