Feeling frustrated..Need some advice!!

[amorales]

Hello everyone,

I have just started playing the piano in the past four months after having taken a 7-year hiatus.  I played for 12 years and took private lessons for 10 years before I took my 7-year hiatus.  I played very seldom in the past 7 years.  Now that I bought my new home, I was able to move the piano from my mom's house to mine.  Didn't have room to store it at my previous home.

Anyway, I've become very passionate about the piano in the past three months.  I've always been passionate about it since I was a child.  I practice 1-1/2 hours a day, 6 days a week.  I'm reacquainting myself with some of the pieces I used to play.   I'm constantly on youtube watching the pianists' performances, and they've been a great inspiration to me to keep practicing.   

However, I'm starting to feel frustrated right now.  I tend to be very hard on myself and set high expectations of myself.  True in all aspects of my life.  Despite not having played much in the past 7 years, I'm attempting to learn some new pieces which consist of the following:

Ballade No. 1 - Chopin
Funeral March - Chopin
Liebestraume No. 3 - Liszt

I am mostly focusing on Ballade No. 1 right now.  I practice it at least 1 hour a day. 
I also have listened to it numerous times on my ipod and on youtube in an effort to help me learn the piece.   Here's the problems I'm having.  I'm learning one page at a time.  I will play the same page over and over again for days at a time and try to play it like the professionals and "master" it before moving on to the next page.  And then I get frustrated when I can't.  I'm currently on Pg. 5.  Pgs. 1-4, I play very well but still could use some practice.   Having a hard time with the speed, plus my hands and shoulders hurt badly at times.   I also tend to pound the piano at times and it's now making a ringing sound.  Need to call a tuner on it soon.  I also tend to work up a sweat and wear myself out when practicing particularly Pgs. 2-3 of it, and I'm not sure that this is all necessary.  I know I can use improvement and some good advice.

I also have a horrible time memorizing a piece.  I can play a piece 100 times and not have it memorized.  This is very frustrating to me.  I rely too much on the sheet music, kind of like a security thing.  The only two pieces I have memorized are Fur Elise and Nocturne in E Minor - Chopin, although with the nocturne, I occasionally have to refer back to my notes, even though I must have played it at least 200 times in the past three months.   I feel lost without the music in front of me. 

My goal is to play some of the pieces that the pianists play and get RID of the sheet music eventually!   A piece that I know I'm not ready for yet but want to eventually learn is Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 by Liszt.  Beautiful!!  Also Fantasie Improptu by Chopin.  Not that I want to be a pianist but I am a very ambitious person and I'm very passionate about the piano.  I've always had a passion for it since I was 2 years old!!  Musicians run in my family.  I wouldn't mind playing in front of crowds, or even for money or at Nordstrom's.  Whatever.   Someday.
 
Could it be that I'm not ready to play the pieces I'm working on?  Should I start at a lower grade level and re-work my way up to a higher level?  I'm even contemplating taking private lessons again.  I can teach myself but don't have the proper tools or guidance, and I'm willing to do what it takes to obtain them.   However I also feel that a teacher may help me achieve my goals.   I haven't decided whether I really want to take this route yet or not.

I've reached a roadblock and I'm ready to move on.  Any and all input will be greatly appreciated!    Thank you!

[desordre]

 Dear Amorales:
 Excuse me, but I think you're getting too fast and too hard. Despite the fact that you played for a long time, and that your heart know what you want to do, your muscles and your brain don't. You have to be patient with them 
 I feel a bit concerned about the fact that, after that long silent period, you start playing the mighty Ballade 1. I don't have to say that it's a complicated and difficult piece. So, I guess that's not the best idea neither for your hands & arms, nor for your mind. Why not give a little time to yourself, and restart playing something easier, and smaller? For example, play a pair of waltzes, then a nocturne and/or a etude. How long will it take? Less than a year? And after that, I'm sure that your work with a large piece will be smoother.
 Hope it helps. Best wishes!
 

[dorfmouse]

Welcome!
I suggest you find our friend Bernhard a.s.a.p. Here for example is a list of links to tremendously uesful posts on practising, memorising, progressive repertoire, you name it, by him and others;

https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php/topic,17014.msg182709.html#msg182709

For example, I too thought I was doomed never to be able to memorise the simplest piece but by using his memorisation plans, that completely turned around.

My biggest cure for frustration is my teacher. I expect to solve most difficulties on my own, but when you think you've tried everything in your armoury for 2 weeks and something still sounds or feels horrible, it usually takes him a second to highlight the cause and therefore the solution. Money well spent, especially if you're hurting yourself (and damaging your piano!)

[amorales]

Thank you all for your suggestions.  I really appreciate them.  They help me realize things I don't realize myself.  I will take them to heart.  Again, thanks!!

[debussy symbolism]

Greetings.

Good for you that you started playing again.

[jazzyprof]

After such a long hiatus from the piano you might want to start back with the Bach two- and three-part inventions.  They are short enough that you will get almost instant gratification of new pieces (re)learnt and  they'll do wonders for your technique and memorization skills.
https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php/topic,2714.0.html

Also, read Chang's free online book.  I've found it quite helpful.
https://members.aol.com/chang8828/contents.htm

[m1469]

Not that I want to be a pianist but I am a very ambitious person and I'm very passionate about the piano.  I've always had a passion for it since I was 2 years old!! 

Why in the world are you wanting so badly to play the piano if you do not want to be a pianist ?    It's okay to want to be a pianist, you know.  Don't be in denial with yourself about it, come out of the pianist-closet already .  Be free.


m1469