Most hilarious thing a student has said

[communist]

I thought the f bomb was Appasionata 

[thierry13]

The f bomb is kcuf read backwards.

[csharp_minor]

An 11 year old male student with a vivid and creative imagination was playing Fur Elise very expressively, and I wondered what he was thinking about or feeling about the piece. The following dialogue ensued, as best as I can recall...

ARENSKY: That's really good, very expressive. What are you thinking about, what do you see happening in this piece?

STUDENT: I dunno... some blonde Swiss or Swedish girl. Well she's blonde anyway, from one of those rich countries where everyone's blonde.

ARENSKY: I see. What's she like? Is she a nice girl? What's she doing?

STUDENT: She acts nice and all that, but she really isn't. She's stuck up because her Dad's rich. She looks down on everyone. She plays the piano and thinks about how much better she is than everyone else.

ARENSKY: (intrigued) Is that in the whole piece?

STUDENT: No, just the first part.

ARENSKY: What happens in the rest of the piece?

STUDENT: In this part (F major) she's on a horse, she has a whole stable full of them, and she's happier than when she plays piano, her mom makes her take the lessons. But she's never really happy anyway, she's so rich and spoiled she doesn't appreciate anything.

ARENSKY: (very intrigued) How is this scale passage (it ends the F major section) like a horse ride? Doesn't seem like one to me...

STUDENT: The horse hates her and starts running really fast in small circles, trying to make her sick. She gets off the horse, and goes back to the piano. She hates everything. So she thinks about how rich she is, and feels a little better.

ARENSKY: How do you feel about her?

STUDENT: She's really pretty (his eyes widened here  ) and she has lots of cool stuff but she's so stuck-up that she's annoying to be around.

ARENSKY: Is there anything nice about her except her prettiness and cool stuff?

STUDENT: I guess she's nice deep down, but she's a product of her upbinging. They taught her to be stuck-up so she is. You know, like Pavlov's drooling dogs.

ARENSKY: Okay. (needs to get back to the music, but caught up in this little drama) What happens in the rest of the piece.

STUDENT: Here (d minor section) her father comes home. He's been brought to trial on corruption charges.

ARENSKY: What does he do?

STUDENT: He owns chemical manufacturing plants that pollute, and he's going to lose everything. He's found guilty, and they have to move and she loses her horses and pianos and friends.

ARENSKY: Where do they go?

STUDENT: (hadn't thought about this....) Uh... France.

ARENSKY: What do they do there?

STUDENT: He's a janitor. She's all lonely now and has nothing to do but play piano and in this part (a minor arpeggio and chromatic scale) she decides to be really good at piano and is. But they can't afford heat or food. She get's really sick from the unhealthy living conditions, and they have to cut the piano up for firewood. She ends up as a hotel maid for the rest of her life.

ARENSKY: Don't you feel sorry for her?

STUDENT: No.

This is the funniest thing that ever happened in a lesson I was teaching. Maybe you had to be there, but there it is...

OMG that is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kind of reminds me of when me and a friend were listening to Vivalidi's Four Seasons, we made up a story as we listened to the music.

It was about a lady in 1600 or 1700 something looking out of the window at her gardener. Then her and the gardener have some fun ( Autumn ) while the lady's husband is a way. But then the husband comes back and the gardener and husband have a fight.

I think for 'Winter' we came up with the idea that the lady had kicked out her husband and he was looking through the window while she and the gardener were inside the nice warm house ( with a big fire ), but the husband was outside in the snow...

So I suppose its not too strange what your student came up with, I'm a piano student not a teacher, its best not to know what goes through peoples minds as they listen to or play music!  

[mcdiddy1]

One of my cute seven year old girls comes in for a lesson. I notice she had gotten a haircut and I say,  "I like your haircut, you look like Snow White" and after a long pause she remarks " Are you saying I am going to die?" It took all I had to keep from laughing.

[thalberg]

I was teaching a lesson to a 4-year old girl.  We were working on "Old MacDonald Had a Farm."  I tried to play the teacher's duet part along with her.  At one point, she was a little late but I struck my chord on time.  When she heard we weren't together, she authoritatively shouted, "Stay with me!!"

[thalberg]

I told a ten year old boy (new student) that I wanted him to practice a piece hands alone.  The response: "What would I use other than my hands?"

[ara9100]

I was in the music library in the cosevatory ( in Armenia) and a student went up to the librarian and asked for
PRA KOFFIE sonata. Instead of Prokofiev.


Pra Koffie means ABOUT COFFEE.

[abj]

After a few lessons of simple C major pieces and the C major scale:

"Now we will learn a new scale; G major. You start on G, and you play this one black key—"
"Why? The black notes sound evil."

Apparently he thought he would never have to play on the black keys.

[pianowolfi]

12 y. old girl, working on Bach's little prelude c minor BWV 999, is upset about all the "strange sounding" seventh chords. After working on this piece I wanted to talk about the basic elements of music: " You know, music consists of three basic main elements. Could you imagine which ones?" Girl, quick like a shot: "Weirdness, madness, crazyness" 

[paulaplati]

Drew:     hey, what do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft?

me:        what Drew ?

Drew:     A flat Miner

you can't make this stuff up.


 

[nanabush]

Wow Nostalgia much?  The student who was involved with the random conversation with me (I posted back in 2007 on the first page), moved away 2 years ago   ... I can't believe this thread is alive!!


Anyways, here's a few more:

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I just started teaching a 4 year old (I think he's only been four for a few months, he's a freaking midget!!) haha... anyways, we're now on the 5th lesson, and we are just starting the really beginner method book.  We flip through the pages for a bit, looking at some of the funny pictures (just to let him settle in), and we come across the song called "The Donkey".  The picture has a donkey wearing sun glasses and a hat.  He says "Why is there a camel wearing glasses and a hat?"  I'm like "I think that's a donkey". And he says "No, it's a camel, look at his feet."  I puzzled over that all lesson. 

He's pretty smart though; another song was about a campfire, and the fire (this is a really little kids' book) had a face and was smiling.  He bluntly says "Why does the fire have a face... that doesn't make sense..."

-----------------

I teach two brothers (7 and 9), and the older one says that their dad brought them to a concert over the weekend.  The younger one comes in (he's prone to lying), and says they went to see Motley Crue... I'm like "really, your dad took you to see them?"... and he says "Ya!! They were swearing, and we were swearing with them!"

------------------

I open one of my 7 year olds' books, and the next song was called 'Pussy Willow'.  His first language is French, and he's pretty good speaking/reading English.  He says to me:  "What's a Puffy Woody?"

I nearly died laughing... I almost felt like pulling the car over on my way back home because I was crying!  Haha, easily the funniest thing I've ever heard a student say.

[wojcia3333]

I remember working with a new student during his first lesson with me. We were practising a piece with no pedal since it was easier for him to achieve some basic skills without it.

At the end of lesson I managed to mark in his music where the pedal should be changed, and told him "you have to change it here and here etc" I assumed he would know what I meant since he was using the pedal previously.

During the next lesson my student played the same piece with a very strange noise coming from under the piano and very strange pedalling effects.

I realised he was 'changing' the pedal in this order: left, middle and right pedal and all over again wherever I have marked for him a change of pedal.

He was actually doing it very well...

[vviola]

He might have a good future with organs!

[point of grace]

From a piano festival:  "Hi, my name is XXXXX XXXX, and I will be playing Chopin's Waltz in A minor, composed by Posthumous."

lol the other time one of my students told me he had been studying Minuet's piece for this lesson hehe

[johnk]

Once a kid ran his hand over the white key surface and announced, "These are the flats!" and then, bumping his hand over the black keys, "And these are the sharps!" What a logical kid!

[sgearry]

The other day one of my students who is 8 years old said..."Do you have a real job?"
I've never felt so low in my life...

Hehe! Good one 

[tdow]

Describing invervals in C position...

Teacher: So if you have your fingers on C and E...they're three notes apart and it's called a third.  If your fingers are on C and F...they're four notes apart and it's called a fourth.  So - if your fingers were on C and D what would it be called?

Student:  A twoth?  (Came out as tooth).

[nanabush]

I have this one kid whose EXTREMELY shy!  As in, he will not say hi to the secretary when he walks in, and will barely say a peep all lesson.  He'll answer "yes" or "no"; the only thing he likes talking about is Dora the explorer, Barney, Bob the builder, and Disney stuff.

anyways, on Friday he came in with a really bad cold.  I told him he could go to the bathroom to blow his nose when he needed to.

In the middle of playing (a Disney song), he turns to me and say "I have to blow".  I cupped my hand over my mouth, and then pointed to the door.  I couldn't hold it in as soon as he left the room.

[pianisten1989]

A student played some piece with quite many bass notes. Though, he didn't play the bass notes "in the bottom of the key", so I told him that. "Now it sounds like 'ding'. Try to make them more 'DOOM'". Then he was looking at me for a while, and the said. "So what, you want me to play it, like, louder or what? I don't get it..?"

They think a bit differently, eh?

[shadowzerg]

Do you mean bass notes O_O?

[pianisten1989]

Do you mean bass notes O_O?

A, yes >.<

[qoogla_55]

Student: I am grade 2 because I can play the piano with at least 2 fingers.

[sarah_antoinette]

Would definitely have to be the following exchange:

Me (gently chastising a student (7 year old girl) for not practicing): "Why didn't you practice this week?"

Student: "I didn't have time...I was really busy!"

Me (wondering how "busy" a seven year old can really be): "Well, it's very important to practice. I still practice piano, even though I'm a teacher."

Student: "Wait a minute....you play the piano too?!?"


I almost died. I have no clue how she thought I didn't play piano. I played for her and her grandma at our trial lesson, but I guess she had forgotten

[i_am_joey_jo]

Not really piano but during high school our music teacher was shouting at the strings because they were out of tune, he said something like

"Tighten that A string
And you: undo that G string!"

We laughed pretty loudly that day.

[keyboardsforever]

Teacher: "Which are the high notes on the piano?"
Student (pointing to the black keys): "These."

[keyboardsforever]

An adult piano pupil was coming out of her house on the way to her lesson with me. The little girl next door asked her where she was going. My pupil replied "I have piano lessons on Wednesday afternoons." "What, still?" came the reply.

[keyboardclass]

Teacher: "Which are the high notes on the piano?"
Student (pointing to the black keys): "These."

Now that is a good one and true!  I'll use it.

[point of grace]

Teacher: "Which are the high notes on the piano?"
Student (pointing to the black keys): "These."

i loved that one!! but i cant use it because in my language high and high doesnt spell the same way............

[escort]

I was working out of a method book with an 8y/o; one of the exercises in the book had him spelling little words with the notes written above (words like 'cab' 'bad' etc...). 
Well, we came to what was supposed to be 'fad' and he etched out 'fag'.  I think if he had just stopped there I would have just etched it out and tried to pretend nothing happened, but then he turns to me and asks very politely "what's a fag?".  I'm just thankful his mom hadn't stayed for that lesson.

[m19834]

Okay, this is not what a student has said but actually what I did today on accident, but it strikes me as very personally funny ... haha ... and I *have* to post it because I'm actually quite thrilled about it ... hee hee.

I have recently started actually teaching voice lessons, which to my great surprise has been great fun!  Anyway, in a voice lesson today with a student who is also my piano student, I was trying to sing a note a certain way for her as an example, except that I was playing it on the piano instead, fully believing I was singing it.  hee hee.  After a couple of times of this and not understanding why she wasn't responding as I expected, I finally realized that I was playing a note on the piano and not actually singing ... haha.  Okay, maybe not all that funny to anybody else, but it was funny to us at the time and deeply satisfying to me personally for the rest of the time .

[fleetfingers]

I am a short woman. I have noticed that when I am standing and the student is sitting on the piano bench, it just so happens that my bosom is at their eye level. I was once wearing a buttoned shirt that was a bit snug in 'that area'. I was showing a seven-year-old girl how to play something on the piano. She looked a little confused, so I asked her if she understood. She looked right at my chest and said, "I wonder how those buttons feel."

I ignored her and moved on with the lesson, but I died laughing about it later. What a funny thing for a little girl to say! Since then, I have been very careful about the tops I choose to wear during lessons.

[mistermoe]

I am a short woman. I have noticed that when I am standing and the student is sitting on the piano bench, it just so happens that my bosom is at their eye level. I was once wearing a buttoned shirt that was a bit snug in 'that area'. I was showing a seven-year-old girl how to play something on the piano. She looked a little confused, so I asked her if she understood. She looked right at my chest and said, "I wonder how those buttons feel."

hilarious!! 

[m1469]

haha ... my little 5 year old.  Today we were learning a piece that had three different chords in it and sometimes during the lesson I would say "chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk" ... while moving his left hand to play the chords when he was supposed to.  So, at the end of the lesson I was reviewing with him these three different chords and I asked him what the name of the first one was (C Major) and he thought for a moment and then said ... "chunk!" haha.  That made my day.

[mcdiddy1]

The other day one of my students who is 8 years old said..."Do you have a real job?"
I've never felt so low in my life...

Dont feel that way.....
heres some quotes from great philosopher Aristotle

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, teachers teach the art of living well.

Keep teaching!

[nanabush]

I find little kids have RANDOM things to say at random times.  In the middle of his 'Jingle Bells' one of my students turns to me and asks (in the upwards inflection, really confused sounding 5 year old voice):

"Do you like Captain America or Spiderman better?"

I say: "Spiderman.....  What about Batman?"

He says: "No, not him, he's not one of the marbles."




BAAAHAHA (Marvel characters is what he meant to say... for those who weren't sure)

[omar_roy]

"But Mozart is so easy!!!!"

[pianowolfi]

Student makes a mistake: "Oh sorry"
Me: "You don't need to apologize"
Student: "Sorry"
 

[lostinidlewonder]

When highlighting the key signature to my student recently I said:

"The key signature, notice it is a F and C."

The student looks at me strangely and says,
"Theres no need to swear."


effin C    lol

[countrymath]

I am a short woman. I have noticed that when I am standing and the student is sitting on the piano bench, it just so happens that my bosom is at their eye level. I was once wearing a buttoned shirt that was a bit snug in 'that area'.

I would love to have lessons with you.

[fleetfingers]

[pianowolfi]

One of my students plays a piece that is called "Why?"

That often leads to funny dialogues like

"Now let's work on 'why' "
"Why?"
"Yes, 'why'."
"I mean why?"
"Because it's one of the pieces you are working on at the time, and it's part of your recital program for this years student's recital"
"But...why??"
"Just: because!"
"But...there is no 'because', there's only 'why'   "
"Well you might compose a "Because" if you like, I have nothing against that, on the contrary, it would be really cool if you composed a "Because"!
"ohh...no thanks  "
"Why not?"

etcetera  

[quantum]

Me thinking:

Mvt 1: Why?
Mvt 2: Why not?
Mvt 3: Because

[pianowolfi]

Me thinking:

Mvt 1: Why?
Mvt 2: Why not?
Mvt 3: Because

Right. And Mvt 4: The Answer!

[Bob]

I keep hearing mvt 3 as "We're off to see the Wizard."

Why?  "Because of the wonderful things he does."  Triple time.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

I don't think this is really funny, but a couple years ago, I was working on Scriabin etude op. 8 no. 12, and I was using too much pedal.  So my teacher told me not to use too much or else it would sound all fuzzy.  When I went home, there was this little thing at the beginning of the score saying something along the lines of, 'This is Scriabin, so it may be subject to interpretation'.  So I came back next lesson and didn't heed my teachers advice.  He got rather upset and said, "didn't I tell you not to use too much pedal?!  This is awful!  Then I explained to him how the not on the beginning of the score said this was up for interpretation!  Then he pointed to the reference or whatever under the writing, and it said op. 11!  I felt soooo salty!!! 

[ajspiano]

..when I was somewhat younger, and also a long haired drummer in a rock band, I had a 5 year girl ask me why I had "girls hair" at her first lesson.

[pianowolfi]

I keep hearing mvt 3 as "We're off to see the Wizard."

Why?  "Because of the wonderful things he does."  Triple time.

Cool! I'll suggest that to her next time  

Speaking of pedal: One student asked me what "that dog turd" below the notes means. He pointed on the Ped. mark!  

[zzivauri]

  Hi.  I am a voice teacher, not piano, pardon me, but I bet you will get my drift.  Weep for me!  It happened today.  My very intelligent (hm) social worker student brought back the music to a song I had given her to try out.  It's a great jazz song, ,'Feelin' Good', in case you'd like to know.  And it's not that we hadn't been over it and been to Youtube to check it out and try to sing it.   She said, "Well, I just don't know about this song...I mean, Um, "(and so forth).   So I said, "Okay, what's the matter? What is it about the song that you don't like? "  And she said," I don't know it!"     It was a great moment.  A chance to meditate again on that great theme, "Dear Lord, what AM I here for"?

[nanabush]

High school girl I teach who dresses very 'goth'...

Telling me a funny story from school; she leans back laughing, and farts VERY loud.

"Uhhh... was that the chair?"

I hate putting people on the spot, because I hate BEING put on the spot, but I just said "what? anyways, so what happened?"

... heehee, it would be so cruel to call her out on that, so I decided not to 

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One kid kept calling 'Dvorak' 'Bojack'... lol!  I didn't catch on until he wrote the name of the composer in his note book.

---------------------------------------

girl: "I couldn't practice"

me: "why?"

girl: "because I had painting after piano"

me: "but what about during the week?  you were very busy all week?"

girl: "yes, I had a birthday party after piano"

...blank stare from me

[m1469]

I have a little 5 year old who I've been teaching for several months now (since Fall).  He's had his ups and downs with the whole endeavor, but recently has started taking to it in a whole new way.  We were sitting on the floor, playing a music game, and as we were going along, he is sitting there, looking quite thoughtfully at me.  I looked down and looked back up and he's still got this look ... finally he says "m1469?" ... and at this point, between his thoughtful looks and this being the first time he's ever said my name, I'm thinking he is going to say something extremely important and pertinent to how amazing the piano is and so I respond "Yes?" ... then he proceeds to telling me about how when he gets home, his Mom is going to find some certain color paints so that he can paint all of his fingernails and toenails.  haha ... and then I realize he was looking at me like that because he was trying to remember my name  .  Then he looks at my eyes and remarks about how I have "stuff on them" ... I had put on some makeup to have my passport photo taken (maybe he was looking at that before, too).

Well, in my world, it was a comical exchange.