Most hilarious thing a student has said

[m1469]

One of my little 6 year olds is playing a duet called "Russian Dance" with me and while we were rehearsing earlier, she was speeding up in a section.  So, I asked her not to rush that and after a few times of this same sort of thing, she finally looks up to me and asks with all innocence and insistence "Then why is it called 'russian dance' ?" and explained that one was supposed to rush through this music like the title suggests, as she is pointing to the title .... LOL. 

My Russian former teacher used to love to use this sort of line as well as other people in reference to him... but nothing quite compares to my little 6 year old asking this with all sincerity... LOL.  I can't get over it.


m1469

[pianowolfi]

After having sightread through a new piece and worked on it for 15 min or so one of my girls (10 at that time) said: "Now i can play it. I just need to learn it now!"

Another girl (about 8y. old) had to play a sixth. She said: "This is a too big span for my hand" she noticed what she said, smiled and said then:"Well at least in my imagination"

[rhapsody in orange]

During lesson some time ago, my 8-yr-old took her book, placed it upside down on the piano and said "Hey I can play my piece upside down!". She's memorized the piece already actually.

[counterpoint]

Another girl (about 8y. old) had to play a sixth. She said: "This is a too big span for my hand" she noticed what she said, smiled and said then:"Well at least in my imagination"

What a wonderful realization!

I'm convinced, most of the pianistic difficulties are not real difficulties - but we struggle, because we think something is difficult, which otherwise wouldn't be.

[pianowolfi]

During lesson some time ago, my 8-yr-old took her book, placed it upside down on the piano and said "Hey I can play my piece upside down!". She's memorized the piece already actually.

Yeah, lol, and these kids who can not read the notes yet, but have the book open when they play. They actually play everything by heart. But after a while they close the book and say proudly: Now I can play it without the music!

[arensky]

An 11 year old male student with a vivid and creative imagination was playing Fur Elise very expressively, and I wondered what he was thinking about or feeling about the piece. The following dialogue ensued, as best as I can recall...

ARENSKY: That's really good, very expressive. What are you thinking about, what do you see happening in this piece?

STUDENT: I dunno... some blonde Swiss or Swedish girl. Well she's blonde anyway, from one of those rich countries where everyone's blonde.

ARENSKY: I see. What's she like? Is she a nice girl? What's she doing?

STUDENT: She acts nice and all that, but she really isn't. She's stuck up because her Dad's rich. She looks down on everyone. She plays the piano and thinks about how much better she is than everyone else.

ARENSKY: (intrigued) Is that in the whole piece?

STUDENT: No, just the first part.

ARENSKY: What happens in the rest of the piece?

STUDENT: In this part (F major) she's on a horse, she has a whole stable full of them, and she's happier than when she plays piano, her mom makes her take the lessons. But she's never really happy anyway, she's so rich and spoiled she doesn't appreciate anything.

ARENSKY: (very intrigued) How is this scale passage (it ends the F major section) like a horse ride? Doesn't seem like one to me...

STUDENT: The horse hates her and starts running really fast in small circles, trying to make her sick. She gets off the horse, and goes back to the piano. She hates everything. So she thinks about how rich she is, and feels a little better.

ARENSKY: How do you feel about her?

STUDENT: She's really pretty (his eyes widened here  ) and she has lots of cool stuff but she's so stuck-up that she's annoying to be around.

ARENSKY: Is there anything nice about her except her prettiness and cool stuff?

STUDENT: I guess she's nice deep down, but she's a product of her upbinging. They taught her to be stuck-up so she is. You know, like Pavlov's drooling dogs.

ARENSKY: Okay. (needs to get back to the music, but caught up in this little drama) What happens in the rest of the piece.

STUDENT: Here (d minor section) her father comes home. He's been brought to trial on corruption charges.

ARENSKY: What does he do?

STUDENT: He owns chemical manufacturing plants that pollute, and he's going to lose everything. He's found guilty, and they have to move and she loses her horses and pianos and friends.

ARENSKY: Where do they go?

STUDENT: (hadn't thought about this....) Uh... France.

ARENSKY: What do they do there?

STUDENT: He's a janitor. She's all lonely now and has nothing to do but play piano and in this part (a minor arpeggio and chromatic scale) she decides to be really good at piano and is. But they can't afford heat or food. She get's really sick from the unhealthy living conditions, and they have to cut the piano up for firewood. She ends up as a hotel maid for the rest of her life.

ARENSKY: Don't you feel sorry for her?

STUDENT: No.

This is the funniest thing that ever happened in a lesson I was teaching. Maybe you had to be there, but there it is...

[pianistimo]

that was pretty funny, arensky.  occasionally my teacher would ask, also, 'what do you feel.'  at least this student had a response.  i sometimes see images of things i want to visualize - but in terms of putting a direct associated feeling with every part - is probably something that comes harder for some people.  for instance, when i learned the op. 118 #2 - the first time i played it - it brought tears to my eyes.  then after succeeding times of playing it - i couldn't really tell you what i felt other than my first impression that brahms wrote it - as a sort of lingering competition for clara (with robert).  you see all these notes (of f a e - floristan and eusebius) and also, then lots of b's - but never an inordinate or unequal amount to schumann.  it's as though he's vying for her with the notes.  a struggle.  and then the beautiful areas are where clara appears as 'c.'  perhaps i think too much, but i read music like letters.  i hear unfulfilled love, and yet acceptance of the situation and a depth to these latter pieces of brahms.  it is said the op. 118 was one of the last pieces she was playing before she died.  i feel like a literalist because i try to feel what the composer was feeling and not necessarily my own 'feelings.'  it feels cathartic to feel other's feelings and experience them - and better than a psychologists chair - because i suppose i keep many feelings inside, too.

so as not to embarass anyone but myself - many years ago at one of my first year lessons - i asked 'who is Leo?'  the Ped marking looked like the name 'Leo.'  my teacher started laughing his head off - and I was somewhat alarmed. 

[pianowolfi]

@Arensky: Legendary @pianistimo: One of my students asked me what that strange sign under the staff was supposed to be, it looked like a dog's dirt. He meant the pedal sign. 

[quantum]

An 11 year old male student with a vivid and creative imagination was playing Fur Elise very expressively, and I wondered what he was thinking about or feeling about the piece. The following dialogue ensued, as best as I can recall...

ARENSKY: That's really good, very expressive. What are you thinking about, what do you see happening in this piece?

STUDENT: I dunno... some blonde Swiss or Swedish girl. Well she's blonde anyway, from one of those rich countries where everyone's blonde.

ARENSKY: I see. What's she like? Is she a nice girl? What's she doing?

STUDENT: She acts nice and all that, but she really isn't. She's stuck up because her Dad's rich. She looks down on everyone. She plays the piano and thinks about how much better she is than everyone else.

ARENSKY: (intrigued) Is that in the whole piece?

STUDENT: No, just the first part.

ARENSKY: What happens in the rest of the piece?

STUDENT: In this part (F major) she's on a horse, she has a whole stable full of them, and she's happier than when she plays piano, her mom makes her take the lessons. But she's never really happy anyway, she's so rich and spoiled she doesn't appreciate anything.

ARENSKY: (very intrigued) How is this scale passage (it ends the F major section) like a horse ride? Doesn't seem like one to me...

STUDENT: The horse hates her and starts running really fast in small circles, trying to make her sick. She gets off the horse, and goes back to the piano. She hates everything. So she thinks about how rich she is, and feels a little better.

ARENSKY: How do you feel about her?

STUDENT: She's really pretty (his eyes widened here  ) and she has lots of cool stuff but she's so stuck-up that she's annoying to be around.

ARENSKY: Is there anything nice about her except her prettiness and cool stuff?

STUDENT: I guess she's nice deep down, but she's a product of her upbinging. They taught her to be stuck-up so she is. You know, like Pavlov's drooling dogs.

ARENSKY: Okay. (needs to get back to the music, but caught up in this little drama) What happens in the rest of the piece.

STUDENT: Here (d minor section) her father comes home. He's been brought to trial on corruption charges.

ARENSKY: What does he do?

STUDENT: He owns chemical manufacturing plants that pollute, and he's going to lose everything. He's found guilty, and they have to move and she loses her horses and pianos and friends.

ARENSKY: Where do they go?

STUDENT: (hadn't thought about this....) Uh... France.

ARENSKY: What do they do there?

STUDENT: He's a janitor. She's all lonely now and has nothing to do but play piano and in this part (a minor arpeggio and chromatic scale) she decides to be really good at piano and is. But they can't afford heat or food. She get's really sick from the unhealthy living conditions, and they have to cut the piano up for firewood. She ends up as a hotel maid for the rest of her life.

ARENSKY: Don't you feel sorry for her?

STUDENT: No.

This is the funniest thing that ever happened in a lesson I was teaching. Maybe you had to be there, but there it is...

I was in a bad mood today.  Thanks for brightening it up! 

[preludium]

There is a story I can tell from the other perspective, i.e. my own remark was the cause of some  exhilaration, but it's going to be tough, because the joke works in German language only. I'll try to add some explanations, but the climax will probably get lost. Anyway...

When this happened I was 9 years old and had had flute lessons for 2 years. My teacher had noticed that I enjoyed singing more than practicing flute, so she proposed my parents to enroll me for the choir of St. Thomas in Leipzig, where we lived (and yes, that's where HE was cantor for more than two decades). In order to be accepted an applicant had to pass the qualifying examination on theory, sight reading, and of course the potential of the voice - this last part was the one where I failed in the end.

Since my flute teacher saw a chance to get rid of her lazy student at last, we went through some voice building exercises using several collections of scores, one of them called "Edition Breitkopf". Breitkopf might be known to you as a publisher of scores, but I have to add that this name has a somewhat surrealistic meaning in German language, close to "wide head". During one of these lessons she wanted to point out some fact but didn't remember in which of the collections we had found a matching example before. I knew it, but I couldn't recall its name. After some hard thinking I asked her to look into "Edition Querkopf". The funny part of this is difficult to translate. The word "quer" has a meaning like "across" or "sideways" and has a semantic relation to "breit", like if you cross a wide river, which explains why I got it mixed up. But the real point is that "Querkopf" is a regular word, meaning "queer fellow". I hope you get the idea.

After this response my teacher couldn't stop laughing for about 20 minutes, and I was happy too, because then the lesson was over...

[pianowolfi]

Ahahah very nice story. Du alter Faulenzer und Querkopf!

[zheer]

This is the funniest thing that ever happened in a lesson I was teaching. Maybe you had to be there, but there it is...

  He sounds like he's making fun of you arensky.

[invictious]

Man...I wish I had some students like that...

I wish I had students, I am 15

Arensky, that story is very amusing.

Rushing Dance!

This happened to me once.

I was playing a piece composed by a Russian. Then we came into this section. I played all the notes wrong.

TEACHER: Why are you playing all the notes wrong? You played it fine just now

ME: I decided to add in my interpretation. Well it's composed by a russian, and his name is Shostakovich...so....

[Bob]

This past week I was playing some scales and a student overheard and asked me to continue.  She must really love scales I guess.

[arensky]

  He sounds like he's making fun of you arensky.

NAAHHH!!!! RREAALLLYYY!!! YYYAAAA THINK SO!!!!!!??? 


He was an 11 year old boy and a smart one, with a touch of smartass. I think he half improvised this scenario on the spot, faced with a question from "teacher" but the extra-musical program already existed in his head, you can see these things very plainly after a few years of teaching...

He is now playing Beethoven Sonata Op. 2 #1 mvt.1, and still very expressively, and with a very good technique. But I haven't asked him what he's thinking about or seeing in it...

[elisianna]

Ok well this isn't as funny as some of the others...

I have a student playing a piece called Sonatina in C Major by some guy I forgot... Anyway she wanted to play this for a school talent show but forgot what day her audition was.  She had luckily memorized the piece and played it without the music.  But then the teacher asked her what the piece was called.  She didn't know, so she just said
"Sonata in G.."  When he asked who the composer was, she just said "Bach." XD She told me about it last week, I thought it was really cute... Hahaha

When I was 7 years old, nine years before I started taking lessons, I decided to for some unknown reason sign up for playing piano for a school talent show.  Lookiing back, I have absolutely no clue why I would consciously sign up for something I had no clue how to do.  So when  I got up to the stage I sat there... and then I hit one key... and then sat there again.  Some teachers came to fetch me. =P  I don't think I was embarassed or reallly cared at all, now I think it's funny.

[teresa_b]

Years ago I taught piano part-time, and was helping my nephew practice for an upcoming recital.  He kept hitting the same wrong note in some G-major piece, and I stopped him and said, "David, you keep hitting F-natural here, where it's supposed to be F-sharp." 

His reply: "What difference does it make?"

He later became an electrical engineer. 

Teresa

[jakev2.0]

A student of mine once took his 11 year old nephew to play for me, touting him as a great. The little boy played for me, and I was in agreement that he was very talented. After he played a profoundly moving mazurka and a dazzling Moszkowski etude, I said to him:

Me: You will be a pianist. But you must also be a cultured man.
Boy: Thank you Mr. Scriabin.

Such a polite young man. Went on to be a great pianist, too!

[juelle]

I took a very young student to hear a brass quintet.  When they played a modern piece with a lot of dissonance, she turned to me and said very soberly, "I think they didn't get no practice!"

Another one I remember happened because I don't keep current on recent fads in language that are being tossed around at schools.  So it sounded original to me when I asked a student, "Is that a step or a skip?" and she replied, "Oh that's a way major bad skip!"

[hyrst]

The last message made me thinkof a situation where I was sitting with a boy and listening to the school band in an assembly.  I thought it was a bit cheeky, but still funny - because these performances can lack somewhat musically - he said, when the audience applauded, "are we clapping for what they have played or because they have finished?"  (This kid is not disrespectful - so it didn't come cross as rude.)

[m1469]

Okay, this is not directly music related (though I guess it depends on how you look at it), but it is something that a student recently said to me.  I asked her what she would like to be when she grows up, and she replied "a donkey" ... ha ha... okay, sorry, but I have to admit it cracked me up against my wishes. 

I guess I just find the circumstances of private teaching to be so interesting; I feel very grateful for this occupation (most the time anyway ).


m1469

[dnephi]

You mean I'm supposed to practice... outside of my lesson?

[666666]

I had a 7 year old student that would always exclaim after hitting the wrong note:

   "OOPS!!  Wrong button!!"

[rach n bach]

I had a student who was about 11, a hyper young boy... and for the life of me I could not get him to practice on days other than the lesson!  He like music, loved his lessons, but he couldn't sit still long enough to practice...  So after quite some time, I decided that I would be a little frimer with him.  At the next lesson, I sat him down and, after he had played his pieces, warned him that he had better start actually working, or he would have to stop lessons!  As I'm in the middle of this, the little guy kinda truns away, lowers his head, and his sholders begin to heave...  of course I'm thinking "great, just great," so I lean over and try to console him... at which point he turns around and laughs in my face...  He said that he knew he could get me with that!

The litte %*^# 

Oh yeah, he did start practicing, and he had to trasfer teachers about a year after this, but he is playing Chopin and all that last time I checked... still....

RnB

[pianowolfi]

Oh wow this is very impressive. And you are very unselfish if you can still be pleased about the successful career of this student who has left you and continued his studies elsewhere.  Much respect!!!

[rach n bach]

Hey, it's about his life with music, not me... but thanks!

RnB

[thalberg]

Arensky, I was DYING with laughter at your story.

okay, here's my story.......

So this 6 year old kid overheard me telling his mom that I went to target.  As soon as his mom left the room, he said "what did you buy at target?"  with BIG eyes and a look of wonderment.  In reality, I had bought underwear.  But I said, "Oh, just some clothes."  And he said, "You know, clothes can cost a fortune.  My mom bought two bras and they cost $90.  Did you know they come in packs of two?"  I think if his mom knew he said that she would kill him! 

[kriskicksass]

After demonstrating a passage that one of my students had misread:
"Wow, you're really good! I bet you never had to have a lesson or anything!"

I guess it was only funny at the time because she's one of those early-teenaged blonde types and she said it with total innocence and sincerity.

[mattgreenecomposer]

I had a 5 year old drop the "F bomb" once.....that was the end of that lesson.

[virtuosic1]

Everything that comes out of a student's mouth is hilarious to me.      However, the most hilarious thing would be, "Can I pay you for this lesson next week?"   

[thalberg]

I had a 5 year old drop the "F bomb" once.....that was the end of that lesson.

I'm on the floor laughing at this.

[thalberg]

When I was about 11, I was playing Fur Elise, and I got to the part where the theme comes back--after the F major or d minor section, I can't remember.  Anyway, I played e-d#-e-d# over and over and over again and completely lost count of how many times I had done it.  I did a few with each hand and kept alternating, fearing that I might leave one out.  I played way too many, and my teacher just about fell on the floor laughing.

[pianowolfi]

When I was about 11, I was playing Fur Elise, and I got to the part where the theme comes back--after the F major or d minor section, I can't remember.  Anyway, I played e-d#-e-d# over and over and over again and completely lost count of how many times I had done it.  I did a few with each hand and kept alternating, fearing that I might leave one out.  I played way too many, and my teacher just about fell on the floor laughing.

lol you are surely not the only one who did that I could actually make up a comedy act just out of what students have done while playing "Für Elise"

[quantum]

I'm at a student's home, the grandfather was looking after her but he doesn't speak much English.  The student's mom is the one who gives the encouragement for music lessons and who sits with the student during home practice.

Me: Sally, when is your mom home?

Sally: She get's home late because she takes night classes.

Me: Can I call your mom in the morning then?

Sally: Yes, but she wakes up late.  Well, I wake up first but just a little later than me.  But not too late. 

Sally: My mom dosen't wear any clothes in the morning.

Me: 

Grandpa: 

[rach n bach]

ROFL!!!!

[joyfulmusic]

I was teaching a seven year old boy a c  major arpeggio for the first time.  He began to play the arpeggio with a grace note before each note.  he looked at me with a grin and said, "I'm just rapidly guessing".  Cracked me up.

[abell88]

This was a very bright 5-year old in a group class. I had just introduced the B key on the piano and explained that this was the last key we would have to learn, because after that they all repeated. She said, "So, we've learned everything we need to know now?"

[wenat]

During theory lessons, going over minor/major scales this student of mine who is really struggling to understand them, decided his safest answer to the question would be "B MINJOR!"

[rhapsody in orange]

oh a week ago during lessons, my 9-year-old was playing through a piece, happily ignoring all the acciaccaturas in the piece. and so i asked her why she hadn't played them. her response: 'oh i thought those notes were cancelled already'.

[nastysanta]

Everything that comes out of a student's mouth is hilarious to me.      However, the most hilarious thing would be, "Can I pay you for this lesson next week?"   

lol i do that all the time what's funny about that?

[amelialw]

-deleted-

[Bob]

Amelia! I can't believe you said that?   Wow!     I think you should delete that immediately before anyone else reads it.     Man.....

[nanabush]

Me:  Alright, now try your C major scale

Student (7 years old):  What's 12 x 12?

Me:  It's one fourty fo---

Student:  Why is there a hole in the wall, was there a picture hanging?

Me:  Well...

Student:  <<burp>> and continues to play...


Seriously, try to find any logic in that conversation.

[m1469]

LOL... that actually got me laughing pretty hard .  I actually love this kind of student; a very active mind they have  .  It's interesting trying to harness that.

[Bob]

Try a class full of those questions. 

[m1469]

ha ha... been there done that  .  Not trying to teach music, but other stuff -- hee hee... that's when it often became story or game time 

[pianowolfi]

LEGENDARY, the whole last 4 posts

[thalberg]

Me: okay, the note on the first line in the treble clef is E.

Student:  I have a pet guinea pig

Me: Great!  so what is this note called?

Student:  I have to keep the door shut or my brother will go in and squeeze it.

[counterpoint]

Me: okay, the note on the first line in the treble clef is E.

Student:  I have a pet guinea pig

Me: Great!  so what is this note called?

Student:  I have to keep the door shut or my brother will go in and squeeze it.

When life is in danger - who cares about note names...!     

[mattgreenecomposer]

The other day one of my students who is 8 years old said..."Do you have a real job?"
I've never felt so low in my life...