What a load of juvenile comments.
Perahia is a fine pianist but I don't particularly like his Beethoven concerti or the few sonatas he has recorded. However, I listened to a live BBC recording of sonata No 4 some years ago and was very impressed - it certainly wasn't laid-back or boring. He played the Chopin Impromptus in the same recital and they were stunning - much better than his recorded version.
For my money, the earlier Kempff (mono) set of the sonatas is my choice with the occasional Schnabel for a rather different view. In the concerti, the best "Emperor" I ever heard was Geza Anda live in Sheffield in the 60's. Best No 4 concerto was Kempff but I do like the Rubinstein/Previn one for an alternative (and very mature) view. Best No 3 (for me) was Annie Fischer but the Kempff is glorious, and best No 2 was Solomon. I rate both Arrau and Brendel as great pianists but their Beethoven often leaves me cold. Cziffra was about as extrovert as you could get but his Beethoven sonata No 22 was warm, measured and moving. Generalisations about pianists mean absolutely nothing.
But these are only my personal views. Others have, and are entitled to, different views and I respect them. Music is, after all, a very personal thing. Comments like "this pianist sucks", and " hope he gets aids" tells me more about you than about the pianist.