Yes I spent three months in Porlock Weir near Bristle a couple years ago,
Porlock Weir's quite a way from Bristol (at least by UK standards) - some 60 miles, I'd guess (without actually looking it up) - but I do know it - it's near Minehead on the north Somerset coast, yes? What brought you to that rather remote place for so long, just out of interest? I note that you've grasped the "Bristle" bit well! Bristolian seems to me to be a language all its own (and I hear a fair amount of it, living and working as I do on the east side of Bath, only about 15 miles from the centre of Bristol).
and a month in London a couple years before that. I liked the Indian food but not much else. The Bombay Brosserie was where i ended up eating like... half of the days I was there ^^
You mean Brasserie - and it's a very nice place indeed. The thing about eating out over here is that the variation between good and bad places of all kinds remains so great, although the general trend in recent years has been upwards rather than downwards. Fortunately, Bath and its environs are especially well endowed with decent eateries of various kinds, from top end English pubs to Thai, Italian, Nepalese to fine British / French places, although there remain quite a few places well worth avoiding.
Oh, and what in the HELL is "seafood sauce"? I ordered a shrimp salad and it had some mysterious pinkish, gloopy stuff on it called "seafood sauce" and it just tasted like a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise. I thought I was going to throw up.
That's about what it can be, I fear; its proper name is "sauce Marie Rose", though quite what Marie Rose ever did to deserve the kind of rubbish served in her name - which sadly you describe with painful and nauseating accuracy - I have less than no idea. This, however, is a throwback (if not also the throw-up that you mention!) to an earlier era when some people over here used to think that a great meal out comprised a "prawn cocktail", a steak and some Black Forest Gâteau all washed down with Niersteiner Gutes Domtal at best and Blue Nun at worst. Just to explain to those fortunate enough to be uninitiated into the "delights" of a certain level of 1970s British "cuisine", a "prawn cocktail" usually comprised emaciated looking small bits of not readily identifiable shellfish taken straight from the freezer, thawed out and dropped onto some limp, semi-stale boring lettuce leaves and some of this "marie Rose" concoction slopped over the top, the steak would also be cooked straight from the freezer, would sometimes be somewhat flavourless and invariably grossly overdone and served with chips taken from the freezer and cooked in stale and overly recycled vegetable oil, together with the almost equally ubiquitous onion rings and the most tasteless mushrooms that could be found anywhere - and the less said about the Black Forest Gâteau the better - and as for the "wines", it took little imagination to realise that this was the kind of stuff foisted on the unsuspecting over here by the Germans who, not unnaturally, kept most of their decent wines for their own consumption. OK, now I admit that this sounds utterly ghastly - and it usually was - yet the kinds of establisment that dished up this kind of stuff were mainly pubs that had almost no previous record of serving much food at all. Almost all of that kind of rot has gone now in UK, the wine-consciousness of the nation has increased by leaps and bounds and there are many more discerning diners around who would sooner starve than put up with that kind of thing. OK, we still have our shoddy eateries, of course, there's sadly no shortage of McDonalds, Burger Kings and other like chains and one the most consistently bad places to eat is motorway service stations (though even a few of these are trying now to improve). It's very odd how these worst aspects of eating out in Britain have survived even to the extent that they have, let alone held such sway 30-odd years ago, especially since the brilliant English writer Elizabeth David almost single-handedly lifted the British consciousness out of that dreadful malaise that was the aftermath of post-WWII rationing. Nowadays, people are getting far more conscious of the values, virtues and delights of good farming practices, locally produced and fresh food, organic production and, of course, decent cooking.
Best,
Alistair