hocus pocus, I can't focus

[Booda]

I'm having a terrible time focusing on a study that I've been practicing for a year.  A Handel Gigue.
I play it from memory and I get through it.  But when my teacher arrives, I turn into a wreck!!!
I play awful and fall apart, making many errors I usually don't.  My teacher pulls out the score, askes me to play it  at 1/2 the tempo and then suddenly I feel like I'm looking at something I've never seen before.  I push forward, following the score, making mistake after mistake, feeling totally useless.  My teacher can't understand how it is that I can't read the score I've been working on for over a year.  Either can I.  My teacher tells me to focus, focus, but after 20 - 25 mins of it, I want to pack it in.  After the lesson I berate myself and then go back to the piano.  I put the damned score away......
I play it through to completion and I feel satisfied with it.
Though I know my teacher would have said differently.
I'm becomming very discouraged with this continued anxiety.  I do exactly what my teacher says, and when alone I manage just fine.  However, when in lessons I somehow lose all focus and my nerves are a jumble.  I could just scream.   Am I practicing all wrong, or should I take some lessons in relaxation and focus techniques.
This has been such a long flat plateu, I'm lossing patience with myself and so is my teacher.


Booda

[dinosaurtales]

I have a feeling we might be a lot alike.  Some pieces just aren't meant to be.  Some at all, others on a particular night.  For example, I have 3 pieces I am working on, and I will sit down to work on one of them, and it will be like I've never seen it before in my life (and i don't even have someone sitting next to me making me nervous!!).  it's incredibly frustrating when I played it just fine the night before.  I'll work it for up to 20 minutes or so, and if I don't see some "remarkable" improvement I ditch it for the evening, figuring it's just not the piece for today.  I haven't come across one yet that just wasn't meant to be at all, but I'll be it's out there waiting for me!  

All I can say is, recognize when it's not the day for that piece and pull out something else.  I'll bet you can play other stuff just fine for your teacher, jsut not that one, right?  Maybe that's your piece that's just not meant to be - in front of people.    

I dunno.  Some times certain things just require some kind of mental ability I can't conjure up that day.

[nilsjohan]

I think it has a lot to do with how you practice. If you never practice really slowly it is very difficult to play slowly. If you don't "focus" while you are practicing it is very confusing to suddenly force your mind to do so. Focus on what? Your mind don't know! Or at least, you start to make notice of new things while playing. Both of theese things gives the feeling of that you don't know the music at all.

I think you are in a situation where your fingers know the piece quite well but your conscious mind are not really there yet. That can be a bit dangerous since it works fine when you practice but when you have to perform it you might not even know how to start!
If this is the case you can try to do the following.
Give it one week and practice like this:

Always be "aware" - let your mind controll your fingers, not the opposite. (Don't force yourself to focus too hard but if you find your thoughts drifting away, stop immedeately and take a micro break.) Practice hands separately a lot, even practice the right hand part with your left hand and vice versa!
Practice in all possible tempos, mostly 1/2 tempo but also extreeeemely  slow and also very fast.

Since I don't know exectly which piece we are talking about I don't know if it is really appropriate, but here are some other helpful examples to make you more aware or concentrated. You can also try to find other ways to make the piece more difficult.

Practice in different rhythms (as with scales).
Play (both hands together) the right hand one octave up or left hand one octave down.
Play as usual but omit for example the first note in every bar (not very easy...).
Practice the piece on a table or on the piano lid, an easier option is on a digital piano with no sound at all.

When you can do all of this, then you can say you KNOW the piece.
OK, to do all of this is quite extreeme but it can maybe give you a new approach to the problem.

Happy practicing!

[Booda]

thankyou for your advise.  I will try your method and see how it goes.  I think the practicing at different ocataves will keep me focused, also missing the first note.  That will be a good one.

Again
Thanks

Booda

[ted]

Are you like this with most pieces or is it just this one ? Music's no good unless you enjoy it, and should be a constant joy, not a series of traumatic obstacles to be overcome. Do you really like the piece ? If not, forget about it and work on something you enjoy. If, on the other hand, you feel like this with all your pieces then either find another teacher or give music the heave-ho for a while.

[benedict]

I have the same problem you have : playing by memory but not being able to sightread the same score (Bach's fugue in c major WTC I).

I started to learn all over again beginning with sight-reading so as not to go in automatic pilot.

It is a humbling process.