Have you ever made a poem before?

[roseamelia]

I have two but I'll only do one.

Children play

As the children play and play.
As their swings whirl and sway.
As the children chatter away.
They bring their lunch on a tray.
Out in the park where the children play.

[pianoplayjl]

Yes, it was some trash I made up.

Anna Maria from France
Who hated to sing and dance
She danced ahead
 smashed her head
and set fire to her pants.

JL

[tombowler]

More trash...

There was a young bard from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so
He replied 'yes I know
but I make a point of getting just as many words into the last line as I possibly can'.

[fftransform]

How old are you?

[littletune]

   

Kuža moj črn je,
kratke tačke ima
in kadar se na sprehod poda,
umazane ima.

Kuža moj črn je,
kratke tačke ima
in kadar mu jih skopamo.
mokre in čiste ima.

Kuža moj črn je,
kratke tačke ima
in kadar se veselo igra,
najboljša prijatelja sva!

  (by little Littletune in second grade). not that anyone will understand but... it's a poem! 

[roseamelia]

littletune whats it about?

[littletune]

littletune whats it about?

My doggy!

[roseamelia]

I made one of a dog. it's called the dog.

To the hill around the house.
creeping silently like a mouse.
Comes the dog to bark and howl.
Up the tree he sees an owl.
The moon is out it's time for bed.
here comes the dog to sleep in his shed.

Did you like it? /\_/\
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                       \ _\
                         ^

[thalbergmad]

Mary had a little bike
She rode it on the grass
Every time the wheel went round
The spokes went in her foot.

Copyright: Thalbergmad 1985.

[thalbergmad]

How old are you?

Nice poem old chap, but a bit short.

Is this an incomplete work??

Thal

[gep]

I did, but after have been fed the one below in "literature lessons" during my schoolperiod (long, long ago...), I decided my talents lay not here...

Entitled OOTE


Oote oote oote
Boe
Oote oote
Oote oote oote boe
Oe oe
Oe oe oote oote oote
A
A a a
Oote a a a
Oote oe oe
Oe oe oe
Oe oe oe oe oe
Oe oe oe oe oe
Oe oe oe oe oe oe oe
Oe oe oe etc.
Oote oote oote
Eh eh euh
Euh euh etc.
Oote oote oote boe
     etc.
     etc. etc.
Hoe boe boe boe
Hoe boe boe boe
B boe
Boe oe oe
Oe oe (etc.)
Oe oe oe oe
     etc.
Eh eh euh euh euh
Oo-eh oo-eh o-eh eh eh eh
Ah ach ah ach ach ah a a
Oh ohh ohh hh hhh (etc.)
Hhd d d
Hdd
D d d d da
D dda d dda da
D da d da d da d da d da da
     da
Da da demband
Demband demband dembrand dembrandt
Dembrandt Dembrandt Dembrandt
Doe d doe d doe dda doe
Da do do do da do do do
Do do da do deu d
Do do do deu deu doe deu deu
Deu deu deu da dd deu
Deu deu deu deu

            Kneu kneu kneu kneu ote kneu eur
            Kneu kneu ote kneu eur
            Kneu ote ote ote ote ote
            Ote ote ote
            Ote ote
            Boe
            Oote oote oote boe
            Oote oote boe oote oote boe[/i][/size]Jan Hanlo (1912-1969)
In: ‘Roeping’, 28e jaargang, no. 3, jan-feb 1952.

I trust y'all are overwhelmed...

gep

[thalbergmad]

Looks slightly repetative

[unholeee]

Looks slightly repetative

x2

[gep]

Tsk tsk, everybody is a critic....

Well, then, from the same poet (I have tried to make a translation from the original Dutch. Sadly, it lacks the originals colourfullness and thrust, but so as you get the idea. To be recited with expression, solemnly

THE SPARROW

Tcheep tcheep. Tcheep tcheep tcheep.
Tcheep tcheep tcheep. Tcheep tcheep.
Tcheep tcheep tcheep tcheep tcheep.
Tcheep tcheep tcheep. Tcheep

Tcheep.

                                     etc.

Now if anyone feels this to be rather, well, cheap, you are nothing but a barbarian!

all best,
gep

[littletune]

I made one of a dog. it's called the dog.

To the hill around the house.
creeping silently like a mouse.
Comes the dog to bark and howl.
Up the tree he sees an owl.
The moon is out it's time for bed.
here comes the dog to sleep in his shed.

Did you like it? /\_/\
                     ( 0 0)
                       \ _\
                         ^

Yes sure it's cute. 

Nice poem old chap, but a bit short.

Is this an incomplete work??

Thal

    

[roseamelia]

Thank you littletune your making me blush...

[littletune]

   

Kuža moj črn je,
kratke tačke ima
in kadar se na sprehod poda,
umazane ima.

Kuža moj črn je,
kratke tačke ima
in kadar mu jih skopamo.
mokre in čiste ima.

Kuža moj črn je,
kratke tačke ima
in kadar se veselo igra,
najboljša prijatelja sva!

  (by little Littletune in second grade). not that anyone will understand but... it's a poem! 

So here is the melody for this   just in case anyone wants to hear it  just don't forget... I was in second grade and that was a lot before I knew anything about music at all! (not that I know a lot now)
(I also had a recording of me singing it and a notebook where my mum wrote the notes, but I can't find it... so I just played it on my keyboard cause I still remember it exactly... not that there's anything difficult to remember    )

[m1469]

So here is the melody for this   just in case anyone wants to hear it  just don't forget... I was in second grade and that was a lot before I knew anything about music at all! (not that I know a lot now)
(I also had a recording of me singing it and a notebook where my mum wrote the notes, but I can't find it... so I just played it on my keyboard cause I still remember it exactly... not that there's anything difficult to remember    )

For some reason I can hear, in my head, you singing this.  Did you post yourself singing this before, or am I thinking of something else?

[sphince]

Prepare for one of my glorious troll-comments-poems i post on youtube
Roses are red..
    Violets are blue..
    This poem has no rhyme..
     Microwave

[rachmaninoff_forever]

I've done a couple for English classes over the years.

As you can imagine, all of them were pretty crazy stupid outrageous poems.

[m1469]

Here is my Viennese poem from when I was in Vienna.  Wolfi actually translated for me when we were at the Festival in Italy, one day.  Wolfi, if you didn't mind and it's OK, could you translate again, here?  Otherwise, I guess it's just here anyway. 

To know thyself is to be free ...

Und abder, ensiegnet und die fragen - entlich instil'ipzeich freund. 
Kantar die und auften zeigenfrautz,
entlich Zauber und Keinlichen auf.

Kriesten'lich, die Zauber ist wo strichten die auben,
staben Wiess.  Dir juntz ob die Fabder.
Liebe.

[ahinton]

I have more than enough trouble writing music...

Best,

Alistair

[littletune]

For some reason I can hear, in my head, you singing this.  Did you post yourself singing this before, or am I thinking of something else?

Thanks for listening m1469! No I haven't posted it yet, because I can't find it, i can't even remember when was the last time I heard it... but it's really funny because I can hear myself singing too in my head now that I was thinking about it. Maybe you can hear the melody in my head!!!    If I find that recording I will post it and then you can hear if you heard it that way!! 

[thalbergmad]

I have more than enough trouble writing music...

I think most of us already know this, but thanks for the reminder.

Thal

[pianowolfi]

Here is my Viennese poem from when I was in Vienna.  Wolfi actually translated for me when we were at the Festival in Italy, one day.  Wolfi, if you didn't mind and it's OK, could you translate again, here?  Otherwise, I guess it's just here anyway.  

To know thyself is to be free ...

Und abder, ensiegnet und die fragen - entlich instil'ipzeich freund.  
Kantar die und auften zeigenfrautz,
entlich Zauber und Keinlichen auf.

Kriesten'lich, die Zauber ist wo strichten die auben,
staben Wiess.  Dir juntz ob die Fabder.
Liebe.

There are a few different sorts of words in this.
First there are words that are real German words in nowaday's world
Secondly there are words that sound a bit ancient, like from Middle High German or so.
Thirdly there are words that sound like German but who have no obvious meaning, but resemble very closely some German words.

First I'll go word by word and then I'll try to give an interpretation (basically the same I gave in Völs too)


Und: and
abder: that's almost a word=aber= but
ensiegnet: that's not an actual word but it resembles distictly the word "entsiegelt" which means "unsealed"

und die fragen: And the questions

entlich is a word, it's spelled a bit differently in modern German: endlich, and
 it means "finally"

instil'ipzeich: that's not a word I know but it sounds like Middle High German.

Freund: friend

Kantar:there I have an association with Spanish Cantar=to sing or German Kantor=a choir director

die und: who, and

auften: that could be spread into two words: auf den: on the

zeigenfrautz sounds like two melted words too:
zeigen: to show
frautz: that's not an actual word but it sounds a bit like the English word "fraud" and in German like Fritz, which is a Name. It resembles also the German word "Fratze" which means grimace, it is a very strong word in German, rather negative.

Entlich: like before: "finally"

Zauber. this word can be used in a very positive sense, like "this is magical" or "there's magic in it" or "enchantment" but it can also mean a spell. It depends on the context.


Keinlichen: that's not an actual word, but it resembles closely the adjektive "kleinlich" which means pedantic, fussy, nitpicky


auf: up

Kriestenlich. that's not an actual word but it resembles "christian" very closely
(Christlich, in ancient times also spelled Kristlich)

Zauber: like above

auben: may refer to the French river "Aube" or to the German word "Laube"
which means 'pergola' or 'alcove'. "Lauben" would just be the Plural.

staben

Wiess: if you change the place of two letters it's 'weiss'=white

Or it could relate to Wiese= meadow

Dir= to you (or you=dative)

juntz: that's not an actual word but it sounds quite a bit like "jauchzen" = to cheer, or jucken= to itch

ob: that's an ancient word for "above"

Fabder: this resembles 'Feder', which means feather or plume

Liebe=Love

I'll proceed to the interpretation tomorrow

[ahinton]

I think most of us already know this, but thanks for the reminder.

You're very welcome, although whether "most" people here did already know that is arguably open to question.

Best,

Alistair

[m1469]

I'll proceed to the interpretation tomorrow

Thanks very much, Wolfi!  For me it's actually really a treat, because this was more like something which "came to me" while I was sitting for the last time in Stephansdom, and it's like I could hear it in my mind or ear (it's really hard to explain), or as though from a memory or something.  I realized it was somewhat a mix of things, and felt a distinct sense of meaning in it, even though I couldn't fully understand it and I just started writing it down since I could hear it.  I figured that it would somehow be able to be decoded or so, even if I couldn't get the words precisely (though I know with Kantar it is indeed supposed to be related to something with singing).  It was maybe just my subconscious using whatever it was hearing in the language(s) around me while I was there, and perhaps related to what I've translated at times in my arias, and feeling a very deep need to express something.  I am happy anyway that you are willing to help me with it .

[goldentone]

There are a few different sorts of words in this.
First there are words that are real German words in nowaday's world
Secondly there are words that sound a bit ancient, like from Middle High German or so.
Thirdly there are words that sound like German but who have no obvious meaning, but resemble very closely some German words.

First I'll go word by word and then I'll try to give an interpretation (basically the same I gave in Völs too)

I very much enjoyed your breakdown of the words, Wolfi.  I look forward to your interpretation.  This poem is quite fascinating.

[m1469]

I found this rather cool looking site about poem forms:

https://www.poets.org/page.php/prmID/197

I want to try some.


Haikus are small, I like that, and I've written a couple of them recently.  I want to try something just slightly bigger, I think, so I'm going to look through the forms and see what might be a good next step.

[goldentone]

I want to try something just slightly bigger, I think, so I'm going to look through the forms and see what might be a good next step.

Your next step is a Shakespearean sonnet.   That's actually what I'd like to try next.

[roseamelia]

Post your poems m1469.

[m1469]

Your next step is a Shakespearean sonnet.  That's actually what I'd like to try next.

Yes, OK, I will look at this.

Post your poems m1469.

OK, Rose.  I am still a really baby poet, but developing and growing .  Here are two haikus since I started my writing/poetry page in my site:


Illumined dawning
fresh dew awakes sleepless shroud
resonating call

**************

Dirt sand aridness
An eye sees one man standing
alone but by choice



I am a little disappointed to find out that these aren't true haiku form, so you could say it's basically a chosen form that resembles haiku.  But, it's helped me to crystalize my ideas, even though I'm not sure they are serving the purpose haikus have typically served.

[m1469]

Oh, and here is one more which I just wrote (I want to try to write something every day):

Your muse do embrace
within deeply sore caverns
feel her river flow

[pianowolfi]

Here is my Viennese poem from when I was in Vienna.  Wolfi actually translated for me when we were at the Festival in Italy, one day.  Wolfi, if you didn't mind and it's OK, could you translate again, here?  Otherwise, I guess it's just here anyway.  

To know thyself is to be free ...

Und abder, ensiegnet und die fragen - entlich instil'ipzeich freund.  
Kantar die und auften zeigenfrautz,
entlich Zauber und Keinlichen auf.

Kriesten'lich, die Zauber ist wo strichten die auben,
staben Wiess.  Dir juntz ob die Fabder.
Liebe.

I'll proceed to the interpretation tomorrow

Well now is not "tomorrow", but of course I didn't forget it.

I first read this "on the fly" back then, later I focused on the single words in detail, and now I am going back to the "on the fly" mode again for my interpretation.

To me it seems all about breaking a "spell" and breaking boundaries.

Your "feather" (your voice, your message) is jumping with joy because you feel that an essential message, which has been hidden from many people for a long time, is now freely accessible for everybody, and it's just depending from ourselves to discover it, to delve freely into it, and take advantage of it.

Finally the spell is broken.

In the Stephansdom this secret is clearly visible, audible, perceivable, for everybody. The artists who built this cathedral have built it for everybody. You are happy that everybody can now see it, hear it, perceive it, you are happy because the truth is not anymore reserved for an elite minority, you are happy because you see clearly that we, as humans, have no limits to knowledge in the long run. We may have temporary limits to knowledge, but those will perish.

And this is, of course, resonating with your concept of true wisdom (Weisheit) and love (Liebe)

[m1469]

Thank you for your thoughts and time, Wolfi, I appreciate your interpretation .  

[m1469]

This is very cool, here is the description of a Petrarchan Sonnet, which I really like the sounds of:

Petrarchan Sonnet
The first and most common sonnet is the Petrarchan, or Italian. Named after one of its greatest practitioners, the Italian poet Petrarch, the Petrarchan sonnet is divided into two stanzas, the octave (the first eight lines) followed by the answering sestet (the final six lines). The tightly woven rhyme scheme, abba, abba, cdecde or cdcdcd, is suited for the rhyme-rich Italian language, though there are many fine examples in English. Since the Petrarchan presents an argument, observation, question, or some other answerable charge in the octave, a turn, or volta, occurs between the eighth and ninth lines. This turn marks a shift in the direction of the foregoing argument or narrative, turning the sestet into the vehicle for the counterargument, clarification, or whatever answer the octave demands.

[m1469]

Oh, I found this cool site that has the Shakespeare sonnets:

https://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/

I'm just getting my head around it and I love the idea of the form.  I've thought I wanted to do some writing every morning, but that's not been the case, exactly (it's just not always going to happen).  And then I thought I wasn't allowed to write any more haikus, which I decided was dumb.  BUT, now I'm studying actual sonnets, at least in the tiniest bit, and so far I love it!

[m1469]

Well, I'm reading my third Shakespeare Sonnet, and so far none of them actually follow the suggested form above ... perhaps Shakespeare's are not Petrarchan?  It probably says something about that somewhere in the Sonnet definition and I just didn't get there yet.  

Here is one of Shakey's (no. 3):

Look in thy glass and tell the face thou viewest
Now is the time that face should form another;
Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest,
Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother.
For where is she so fair whose uneared womb
Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?
Or who is he so fond will be the tomb
Of his self-love, to stop posterity?
Thou art thy mother's glass and she in thee
Calls back the lovely April of her prime;
So thou through windows of thine age shalt see,
Despite of wrinkles, this thy golden time.
   But if thou live, remembered not to be,
   Die single and thine image dies with thee.



The suggested form, as mentioned above, for the first 8 lines (the Octave ... gotta love that ) is abba abba, and Shakespeare's go abab abab - I know, there is nothing saying I must follow some certain form to express myself (I get it), but I just want to try things in form, first.  So, I will go with the Petrarch suggested form and assume Shakespeare does something slightly different, and then try Shakespeare's form after.  He's good at words  - this is going to stretch me in numerous ways!

[m1469]

hmmm ... there are thoughts tickling my noggin about this all.  Firstly, I am strangely suddenly seeing something different and thinking differently in my music, as a result of this (not just with vocal music).  I can't fully put my finger on it just yet, it's just I feel like I'm staring right at something that isn't fully apparent yet, though I get gilmpses.  

Secondly, and this is so interesting to me in comparison to music, why poetry?  I was thinking earlier about how various languages could fit into a single certain poetic form, and I think that in itself is really interesting.  But, also, so there's form to poetry which gives it structure and flow and these things, but there's already grammar to languages which also give it that. So, what is it about poetry that adds something to it all that grammar doesn't?  hmmmm ...

[m1469]

hmmm ... maybe it's like the difference between time signatures and phrase lengths?  When I first decided to bring poetry back into my life and started writing my little haikus, I started thinking about things in a different way.  One was along the lines of using poetry to describe something, the end result being that a reader captures a kind of image which can't be explained just by the exact words, but rather the idea that is being described.  That is similarly to how I am thinking of music right now.  But, for the sake of knowledge, how do you choose one form over another, to describe that thing?  

So, my grand question is, why would I choose say a haiku form over a sonnet form, or vice versa, to describe a feeling of divinely loving someone?   ... or why those things over simple prose ... or over just saying it outright? hmmm?  WHY?  WHY?  WHY?  How does it work?  hmmm?  How?

*starts beating up the machine*

[pianowolfi]

Well to me there has always been an intimate relationship between poetry and music. Poetry is like making music with words and music can be like making poetry with sounds.

maybe the best way to delve more into the depth of their common background is to compose songs?

After all some of Goethe's poems, as wonderful and perfect as they are per se, win even a lot more through Schubert's and other's music.

[pianoplunker]

There is a fine line between poetry and songwriting. this one is meant to be accompanied by with a Banjo. Probably the key of D. Hope y'all like it

Requiem for a Pet   

I'm having a problem with my pet
 a cute little dog named Scooter
he spends all day on the 'net
viewing porn on our computer
So I'm taking him down to the vet
where we'll have ol' Scooter nuetered

Oh poor Scooter , Oh poor Scooter

[pianoplunker]

Well to me there has always been an intimate relationship between poetry and music. Poetry is like making music with words and music can be like making poetry with sounds.

maybe the best way to delve more into the depth of their common background is to compose songs?

After all some of Goethe's poems, as wonderful and perfect as they are per se, win even a lot more through Schubert's and other's music.

I think what separates poetry styles and music styles the most is the rhythm and repetition. some music just cannot express a well written worded phrase and some poems just dont work as a song. Of course with a little adjustment to each , anything can be done.  It seems that earlier lyrics in operas or other forms did not emphasize rhyming like we do today.

[goldentone]

Well, I'm reading my third Shakespeare Sonnet, and so far none of them actually follow the suggested form above ... perhaps Shakespeare's are not Petrarchan?  It probably says something about that somewhere in the Sonnet definition and I just didn't get there yet.  

Yes, the Petrarchan, or the Italian sonnet, differs from the Shakespearean.  In the Shakespearean the turn takes place in the next to last line.  You probably know that by now.  The Xenonian sonnet is even more exotic.  I have heard tales.

I'm just getting my head around it and I love the idea of the form.  I've thought I wanted to do some writing every morning, but that's not been the case, exactly (it's just not always going to happen).  And then I thought I wasn't allowed to write any more haikus, which I decided was dumb.  BUT, now I'm studying actual sonnets, at least in the tiniest bit, and so far I love it!

I'm glad you're excited!  I am really desiring to start a Shakespearean of mine own.

[m1469]

Thanks for your thoughts and poem example, you three!  Here is my first known sonnet.



In bliss and heavenly calling
an abode is found, in love,
where naught but power above
defends against walls falling.
'Tis a gift, giving everything
without fear, and in trust
that fate-brought union must
cause voiced souls to sing.
But should a casting shadow  
give light's sway to gloom,
should that darkness scour
e'en the faintest nightglow
of a soul's enchanted bloom,
truth dwells -still as true- amid the darkest hour.

by K K

[m1469]

agh!  I just realized I might have done that "wrongly" ... I went abba abba, but I just assumed the second abba could have its own rhyme scheme in relation to itself ... but, is it supposed to be the same exact rhymes as the first abba? 

so like:

tree
cat
fat
bee
flea
brat
rat
tee

??

[m1469]

Amid alleyways and outskirts of sleep,
with the angel I wrestled tirelessly for meaning,
my soul careening
toward oceans and valleys deep.
His name, my voice did appeal
through weeping; still his hold
just as strong and just as bold,
did not my freedom yet reveal.
But upon the glistening pink
of the Eastern sky, a glinting ray
atop the mountain peak, athirst,
my eyes did lift, and drink
the epic dawn of a novel day.
Freely, I stood, and left for rot a life lovelessly accursed.

by K K

[goldentone]

agh!  I just realized I might have done that "wrongly" ... I went abba abba, but I just assumed the second abba could have its own rhyme scheme in relation to itself ... but, is it supposed to be the same exact rhymes as the first abba?  

so like:

tree
cat
fat
bee
flea
brat
rat
tee

??

Oui.    I did a little research, and while the sestet scheme according to one site can be organized virtually any way you like of 2 or 3 rhyming sounds, the octave is set as abbaabba, the a's rhyming the same and the b's rhyming the same, as in your example above.  I checked a few Italian sonnets out as well.  But what you wrote is still a sonnet, just a Maylean variation of the Italian.

For 'tis only the morn we would spend amiss,
But gather the harvest when the eve remits.

[m1469]

Oui.    I did a little research, and while the sestet scheme according to one site can be organized virtually any way you like of 2 or 3 rhyming sounds, the octave is set as abbaabba, the a's rhyming the same and the b's rhyming the same, as in your example above.  I checked a few Italian sonnets out as well.  But what you wrote is still a sonnet, just a Maylean variation of the Italian.

Thanks for doing that!  With this second one, I consciously decided to still do the same rhyme scheme as I had done before, figuring I could call it a variation if nothing else .  I will try the other, though, just for fun.  I'd also like to try a Shakespearean pretty soon!  In reading both of the ones I already did, I notice there is something different between them ... and it almost seems like one is more Classical and one is more Romantic or something - the second has a different kind of freedom.  Plus, my head is thinking in this poetic structure, and it's interesting to have that perspective when listening to music (and in particular, I found similarities between this and my last improv that I posted here).  The Sonata is connected to a Sonnet, yes?  I think I remember reading that.

For 'tis only the morn we would spend amiss,
But gather the harvest when the eve remits.

I like!  I am looking forward to when/if you post a sonnet!  But no pressure.

[goldentone]

The Sonata is connected to a Sonnet, yes?  I think I remember reading that.

I've wondered in the past if there is a connection between them.

I like!  I am looking forward to when/if you post a sonnet!  But no pressure.

I've had my English Literature Anthology out reading, getting the juices flowing.  
I'm pretty excited.  Keep the poetry coming.