Tell me your drama

[jesc]

If that is true, then I must have been switched at birth... I have nothing in common with my family. No amount of neurochemicals will make me any similar to them. I don't hate them in the conventional sense, but I do "regret" not being born into the right mix.

I said nothing about predetermination - I don't have an opinion to that yet.

It's not as simple as that. A knee jerk explanation could be that you have a "recessive" characteristic but it's not that simple either. It doesn't even translate that your genotype can be expressed immediately straight to your phenotype. There's also the penetrance factor.

It's not that straightforward. I'm a bit pissed right now and I don't feel like discussing the details. I think some here have the "spunk" to discuss further.

[db05]

It's not as simple as that. A knee jerk explanation could be that you have a "recessive" characteristic but it's not that simple either. It doesn't even translate that your genotype can be expressed immediately straight to your phenotype. There's also the penetrance factor.

Half of what I said was sarcasm, too bad the tone doesn't carry over to the internet. Emill has seen me in person and knows that I'm a legitimate child. 

It could be the generation gap that's making me feel out of place. I'm too young.

[jesc]

Half of what I said was sarcasm, too bad the tone doesn't carry over to the internet. Emill has seen me in person and knows that I'm a legitimate child.  

It could be the generation gap that's making me feel out of place. I'm too young.

yeah, the internet is full of misunderstandings. Since many of the posters here were using basic biology terminology I thought using them will help the discussion.

Okay, without the biology terminology. What I said above means, a son/daughter can have characteristics not displayed by their parents or even their immediate relatives. My reply assumed that your post was "joking" and that you're a legitimate/biological child. Which is why I was explaining how a son/daughter can be very different from his/her family.

I feel a bit weird. I remember some people in a forum I once frequented who would dish out all the scientific terms they could come up with in a post. Here I am editing my post to remove possibly unclear terms like: progeny, filial generation (ha, that's oversimplification of the case), etc.  

Afterthought: I hope this clears things. If there's any condescending/hostile tone in my post pls ignore it. I'm a bit pissed and it could be leaking through my replies. BTW I agree with some of the points you've posted further back.

[m1469]

Phhweeww ... having a bit of a major musical freak out in my life right now ... needing to take some steps and get over this thing.

*walking in mud*

[m1469]

Phhweeww ... having a bit of a major musical freak out in my life right now ... needing to take some steps and get over this thing.

*walking in mud*

*puts self in machine/unattached observation mode and takes some steps anyway*

[thalbergmad]

Quoting yourself is kind of weird Foxy.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

Quoting yourself is kind of weird Foxy.

Thal

Agreed

[m1469]

   So are a million other things    I could have written the same thing without quoting myself, and that would have been less weird?  Or I could have just modified my post 

[pianowolfi]

Phhweeww ... having a bit of a major musical freak out in my life right now ... needing to take some steps and get over this thing.

*walking in mud*

You mean the Appassionata? But that's on a very good way! I admire you!
I think that sometimes we might not see the wood for the trees when we are in an intense practicing phase, working on details.

[m1469]

You mean the Appassionata? But that's on a very good way! I admire you!
I think that sometimes we might not see the wood for the trees when we are in an intense practicing phase, working on details.

Thanks, but no, not just that.  Reality of stepping out again.  I need to take more steps to make/let it happen, and it feels like I will from taking those steps "tomorrow," wake up the next day on stage in a Castle ... haha.  I've been feeling really good about it all, and excited and progressive and all things ... but also realized I have to take an actual step of performing live to really move forward (completely out of stagnation), I can't just think it, I can't just prepare for it ... I have to do it.  And that's a different feeling, but I know I've grown ... a lot.  Somewhere I know I can, but I'm going to have to set some things up for myself within the next couple of months around here, and I just have to make those calls, write those emails ... and I can just do that (yet I can only manage little bits at a time) ... I did a little today (setting up a fund raiser recital venue, etc.) ... and I've never traveled abroad!  I want all of this (very much) ... it's just one thing to want something that feels out of reach all your life, and to feel like you walk over fire to reach for it ... and then yet another thing to stare the reality of it in the face.   But, I can do it (I just have to learn who this person is).

[pianowolfi]

Yeah I can relate. But I am also convinced that you can do it! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

[m1469]

Yes, if my life includes the very real but very learned ability to rather peacefully step onto an airplane and fly across the world, then I can do this.

[furtwaengler]

I planned to register for a music academy in the summer...

Today I have decided to let it go. I think I just don't belong to "that world", I often wished I did and made many many attempts but I don't belong to it and so I can't force it to happen.

For better or worse, I can sympathize with that!

Here's one of my dramas. I somehow am playing three concerts in Scandinavia in June, but bizarre circumstances. There will be about 30 people performing the Brahms German Requiem in English - that 30 people includes both choir and scattered instrumentalists. I am to fill out the "orchestra" on an electronic keyboard which may or may not have 88 weighted keys. Also, they want to fill out a first half of the program using various instrumental combinations playing American music. I'd want to do John Adams' "American Berserk" but what about the keyboard?! (All expenses paid, haha).

[pianowolfi]

For better or worse, I can sympathize with that!

Actually, drama king that I am, I tried it again and managed to get those videos together, and now I'm in the program and even made it into the second (final) round of their piano competition!  

Here's one of my dramas. I somehow am playing three concerts in Scandinavia in June, but bizarre circumstances. There will be about 30 people performing the Brahms German Requiem in English - that 30 people includes both choir and scattered instrumentalists. I am to fill out the "orchestra" on an electronic keyboard which may or may not have 88 weighted keys. Also, they want to fill out a first half of the program using various instrumental combinations playing American music. I'd want to do John Adams' "American Berserk" but what about the keyboard?! (All expenses paid, haha).

Meh when I started to read this my heart began to beat faster because I thought they had hired you to play a piano concerto as a soloist!! And then I read on... I hope it will become not too bizarre, and they will pay you more than only the expenses!

[littletune]

Well it is really great that I have holidays now, even though in my country Easter holidays are really short,(only from today till Tuesday, without Tuesday, I think in other countries Easter holidays are longer!) but better than nothing, specially because Mondays are the most difficult days of the week for me (when I almost don't even have time to eat!), but... we have some problems again  so I'm not sure how much we will be able to enjoy holidays! 
So... you know our downstairs neighbour... well last week the police called my dad and said if he  would come to this meeting (or whatever) where my dad and the crazy neighbour and the policeman and the guy who takes care of our building would talk... (my mum said she wouldn't go cause she's too angry) and so they had this meeting and it seemed like the neighbour calmed down a little and she wasn't banging on walls or complaining for a whole week! But I guess that was too nice to last so you know what happened yesterday evening? water started running down from out toilet into her bathroom! and of course she's going crazy again as if we did that on purpose, and I mean I know it must be bad because something broke, I guess a pipe that goes from our toilet!!!! so you can imagine what is running down into her bathroom!!!! The dirty water from our toilet!!    I know it's bad!!! But... really... don't want to be mean... but that is kind of exactly what she deserves!!!!    but of course it's really bad for us too... because they will probably need to break the wall and everything!!!! And at first they said they would come after the holidays but my mum said it was really bad so they will come tomorrow! And so we will have soooo much problems again... and it's making our neighbour even more angry and it probably looks really ridiculous to other people, because it just never ends!!!! my parents just can't believe it, my mum says she can't do it anymore, and that she just wants to start crying, my dad is saying something about that he is wondering if we did something bad in a previous life or something that everything is just going wrong! So yes really fun!    and my mum says she just wants to move out of this apartment and my dad says we don't have money for that...

And another bad thing is that we noticed my guinea pig has one very little lump under where she had that big one... and I mean the vet said that it's possible that a few celles escaped from the tumor and so they're starting to grow again.... so he said he would probably remove it on Tuesday, so she will have to have one more surgery... although I really hope it's not going to be such a difficult surgery because it's a very small lump compared to the one before (like not even a tenth of that one) but I'm very scared and worried anyway of course!

Oh and also it looks like I have one more infection in my mouth (or whatever it is) except it is on the other side and on the lower gums, so now my neck hurts  but it's not as bad as the one I had on the upper right side! 
Well at least our life is never boring or anything right?   

[pianowolfi]

One thought that might be helpful, littletune, in such a situation where everything problematic seems to plot against you: concentrate on your most essential or important tasks, concentrate your energy to what is most important in the long run, and follow this consequently.

But I admit, I haven't been in any comparable situation when I was in your age.

[emill]

hello littletune 

it is always FUN to read your posts even if one does not respond .... you know why?

You are so honest and transparent .... and you write about day to day situations, some serious with traces of humor .... I often find myself grinning!!    THANKS!!  you should write a book someday!

emill

[littletune]

One  thought that might be helpful, littletune, in such a situation where everything problematic seems to plot against you: concentrate on your most essential or important tasks, concentrate your energy to what is most important in the long run, and follow this consequently.

But I admit, I haven't been in any comparable situation when I was in your age.

Thank you Wolfi! Yes you're right!   You know my mum called today to ask for those houses (apartments) that I already once posted a picture last year, and they said we could come and see the apartments even now during the holidays we just have to call in the morning... and my mum really wants to go there...  and the prices are lower now or something...

hello littletune 

it is always FUN to read your posts even if one does not respond .... you know why?

You are so honest and transparent .... and you write about day to day situations, some serious with traces of humor .... I often find myself grinning!!    THANKS!!  you should write a book someday!

emill

Hi Emill! Thanks!  I'm glad you like to read my posts!  well we usually start joking about things when there are some problems (i mean specially with our neighbours), first we feel really bad and then we start joking about it. me and my mum have special names for all the crazy neighbours in our apartment building (I think there's 4 or 5 of them)... we just had to change their last names a little... well except the downstairs neighbour has more than just one name.... and some of them are pretty bad    my mum is worried she would accidentally use one of them when other people are around! 
Oh I'm not sure what it means that I'm transparent... that I'm a ghost?   
Maybe we should all write a book about Pianostreet!!!!   

[candlelightpiano]

Littletune, it's a good idea to write about some of the characters on PS!  I can think of at least five, just off the top of my head!

To get back to the topic:  I'm feeling a bit depressed because I cannot practice.  I've had some pain in my right thumb for the past 3-4 weeks and took one or two days off whenever it was hurting and it seemed okay after that but it got much worse the last few days and I went to my doctor and she says I have tendonitis!!  So I can't practice and have to have physiotherapy beginning tomorrow and I wonder how long I'll be off the piano.  Any of you suffered from tendonitis of any part of your hand?   

[pianowolfi]

I have had tendonitis when I was young and later I had a phase where I had tennis ellbow (lateral epicondylitis). The latter occurred because I played with a wrong technique (well the former as well, in all probability), I used too much pressure instead of weight to get a big sound out of the piano.

In all these cases of repetitive strain injury it's very important that you not only do the therapy but that you try to find the cause, the wrong habit that you might have when you play. If you are only doing the therapy and don't examine your technique it will likely return. There are physiotherapists who are specialized at working with musicians, perhaps you might want to look for someone like that.

[candlelightpiano]

Thanks, Wolfi (if I may call you that).  The physiotherapist my doctor recommended specializes in working with musicians.  I began having pain in my thumb after beginning Grieg.  I had difficulty with the stretches even though I have a fairly large hand for a girl.  I can do a 10th fine but Grieg's stretches are different.  And I felt pain and AJ gave me some advice on the proper technic.  I did as he advised but I guess I went back to my old bad habits and I felt the strain every time I practiced Grieg.  But still I persisted, and now look what happened!      Anyway, Birba and AJ have told me that I have a problem with tension, which is why I took time off my FI project to work on a more relaxing piece and I learned to be more relaxed while working on that piece, thanks to Megadodd and also because Consolation required a great deal of relaxation.  Well, Grieg was also supposed to be relaxing except I don't have the proper technic!  But I don't plan to go back to Grieg when this is cured, not for the immediate future, anyway.  I'm not comfortable with the stretches and don't need a recurrence of this problem.  During my downtime, I plan to complete the Fink video as well as Taubman and Alan Fraser.  Hopefully, I'll learn some technic that will help me avoid another such injury.   Thanks for your advice.  I appreciate it.  Choo

[pianowolfi]

Hey I just looked into that Grieg thread, and saw that you have sprained your right thumb twice in March, is that right? If so, your problems might not have to do with tendonitis, but with those sprains. Sprains often need a lot of time to heal, much more than we tend to think. 6 weeks or more. So you might just give it more time, and play easier stuff in the meanwhile, don't stress your thumb with huge streches and such.

[pianowolfi]

"Push to add drama"   

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[candlelightpiano]

Hey I just looked into that Grieg thread, and saw that you have sprained your right thumb twice in March, is that right? If so, your problems might not have to do with tendonitis, but with those sprains. Sprains often need a lot of time to heal, much more than we tend to think. 6 weeks or more. So you might just give it more time, and play easier stuff in the meanwhile, don't stress your thumb with huge streches and such.

Thanks for looking into my thread.  It was so thoughtful of you. I thought it was a sprain but for all I know, it was tendonitis.  I didn't get a professional opinion.  From what I've read, sprains are worse because it means torn ligaments.  I asked my doctor about that and she said they're usually caused by falls or are athletic injuries. 

[49410enrique]

hopefully this saves folks some drama, if only i'd seen this sooner!

[db05]

Current drama is finding the right time/ zone to practice. I can do a few things at a time. I read many books, articles, listen to music and whatnot. But practicing something is a different thing altogether. Decipher, contemplate, articulate, memorize, integrate.

I met my former (guitar) teacher the other day, he told me to keep on going. I said it's not possible for me to quit music, it just keeps coming back, but I knew he meant more than that. To get serious without feeling too much pressure. I envy guitarists. They all seem to know exactly what they want (even if often seems too superficial to me, like playing a scale very fast or learning licks divorced from a song). Most of them have natural talent, and a certain sound that they can aim for... For those people, a teacher is optional, really.

My new (piano) teacher seems ignorant of my weaknesses. Granted, we've only been having lessons for 3 weeks and it's possible that he does know but he's not telling me on purpose... but I have an extreme problem with coordination. So much that sometimes my LH plays RH and vice-versa. So bad that sometimes I lose my train of thought, or have too many interfering thoughts, or forget how to walk and trip all of a sudden. That's why practice time, real, productive practice time has been so rare for me... on top of that I don't know what I really, REALLY want.

What I call talent is simply that, coordination. Making yourself work together. Not being confused. Coincidentally I read what Bernhard wrote about the "three minds". Everything I do is controlled by my intellectual mind. Otherwise, it falls apart. The motional is too clumsy, the emotional too pressured, and the intellectual too slow.

It seems the key to piano playing, and most anything in real life, is the motional mind. How to do things AUTOMATICALLY. I mentioned before that I found social skills too awkward/ difficult. Not I realize it's just a matter of doing it, doing it, doing it until habits are ingrained. Of course when standards/ trends change, I'm in trouble... that's when the other two minds step in and cause chaos, I get angry and try to rationalize it, which makes it even worse.

My school life has been like that, essentially I hate school but after a couple months I can get used to anything... until the point where I can't catch up anymore and BOOM. Actually I love learning, it's just the other factors getting in the way. What's best is a one-to-one setting with clear objectives that I understand. But what school does that these days? So I have only myself, and my music teachers (former, present and future) to rely on.

I don't know what I want, but who does know what he wants in his early twenties? Precious few people start early in life, and that didn't bother most people. Why does it bother me so much? Why can't I be mediocre and just stay somewhere, anywhere even though the music-to-noise ratio is low? Sometimes I think, if I weren't so emotional, would I be successful. I'd be a tough agent by now, enjoying a high salary, knowing the pain was worth it.

Right now I'm looking at short IT courses. My family seems to think I want to do these things professionally but actually I do not. It's just a stop-gap measure. I don't know if it's possible for me to work while studying piano, given that practice time is already little as it is... I'd have to ask my teacher but I have no idea how to frame it. He just smiles and says I'm "progressing well", but what does that mean really?

Can I bet my life on music, study for a couple years and get a return on my investment? If only money was certain, and a compelling enough motivation, I'd take the highest paying job available... I'm broke and my family needs money; my sister's family had stayed in the hospital for almost a month because my baby niece had a surgery. It won't be the last surgery for her heart... I feel useless just thinking about this, I have no money and I can't even give blood since we're not compatible. It sucks. Compared to my sister's problems, mine seem so petty that if I had any honor at all I'd be begging or prostituting. I can't tell my parents to buy me a piano anymore. How could I? My lessons are already breaking the bank! I tell myself, musicians and music teachers can make lots of money, just wait a few years, maybe I'll even work abroad... that's the only justification I have left for myself.

With so much drama, how can I practice? But with so much at stake, how could I not?

[birba]

         

"Push to add drama"   

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Wild!  And they say the Belgians are nerdy!