No joke! Wow.

If you don't know who she is, or why she's famous, she made a splash onto the classical music scene by selling CDs with an obscene picture of her wearing only her violin:

So in the years since her debut CD came out (in 1996), I haven't even once bothered to see if she could actually play or make music. I'm delightfully surprised that yes can!
Now, if a classical pianist can market herself like St. John did... I wonder how she would use the piano to promote her modesty. Maybe an interesting angle with the fallboard? Lying inside the piano case with the lid down (not that there's room to do that)? Take out the action and hold some keys in strategically placed locations? Or maybe some strategically placed hammers?
I'm actually being quite serious about all of this. If we can find a female pianist who can make very good music and has the looks and charisma to sell both CDs and concerts, that would be great for classical piano music since it would attract a far larger audience. Alicia Keys just doesn't do it.