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I'm a bit shocked (+random thoughts about Prokofiev) (Read 865 times)

Offline piulento

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I'm a bit shocked (+random thoughts about Prokofiev)
« on: January 25, 2017, 06:31:12 PM »
Today I finally finished my service in the army. I've been waiting for this day for quite some time, but now that it's here I'm not really sure how I feel about it. When my officer shook my hand today and said 'thank you', I suddenly realized that it's actually over. I didn't really understand it until it happened.
As much as my service was a difficult experience, today I first understood how much I'm grateful for it, and how it made me so much more mature and self reliant. But as self reliant as it made me... as of tomorrow, for the first time in my life, I am completely independent. And it scares the hell out of me. The army wasn't perfect, but it was my home, and now I'm pretty much on my own. It's a tough thing to cope with - I have to be my own person now, and I have absolutely no clue who that is.
When I arrived home, I couldn't do anything but sit down and sight read Prokofiev's 2nd piano concerto. I felt like it sort of sums up how I feel right about now, and I couldn't play anything else. When Prokofiev wrote it, there was so much going on in his life; His father died, he had to take care of himself for the first time, his future was anything but clear. You can almost hear it in the music, and it really speaks to me.
Anyway, I'm a bit better now. I finally stopped playing, and now I'm just sitting and trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with my life (I thought I had all the time in the world to plan, but this day came way faster than I expected). If anyone has an idea on how to start deciding, I'd really appreciate it.
Sorry for the long rant, I just have a lot on my mind right now.
Best wishes,
Gilad.


Offline iansinclair

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Re: I'm a bit shocked (+random thoughts about Prokofiev)
«Reply #1 on: January 25, 2017, 07:48:31 PM »
I won't rant -- that was a lovely letter!

But I do want to say: thank you for your service!  Your experience will never completely leave you, nor will the friendships and sense of place.
Ian

Offline piulento

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Re: I'm a bit shocked (+random thoughts about Prokofiev)
«Reply #2 on: January 25, 2017, 08:39:33 PM »
I won't rant -- that was a lovely letter!

But I do want to say: thank you for your service!  Your experience will never completely leave you, nor will the friendships and sense of place.

Thank you. Hopefully I'll soon find somewhere else that can give me the same feeling of purpose and belonging.

Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: I'm a bit shocked (+random thoughts about Prokofiev)
«Reply #3 on: January 26, 2017, 12:52:54 AM »
You're still young and have lots of time to work your path out. Some people choose work that satisfies their heart, others work anywhere and learn to love it (or not). You can always seek out a life coach to mentor you, I think learning about goal and dream setting is invaluable also.

The most important thing to do is take your first step into a decision rather than think away your entire situation without actively doing anything about it. So go visit higher education institutions, get a list of apprenticeships that might interest you, search out charity organisations and see what help you can give, belong to a community garden, go back to army even if you felt you learned a great deal etc etc etc. Doors open when you are involved with the world.
"The biggest risk in life is to take no risk at all."
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Offline piulento

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Re: I'm a bit shocked (+random thoughts about Prokofiev)
«Reply #4 on: January 26, 2017, 02:36:27 PM »
The most important thing to do is take your first step into a decision rather than think away your entire situation without actively doing anything about it. So go visit higher education institutions, get a list of apprenticeships that might interest you, search out charity organisations and see what help you can give, belong to a community garden, go back to army even if you felt you learned a great deal etc etc etc. Doors open when you are involved with the world.

I think that's a good idea. I'm going on a university tour next week, and I also started looking into local volunteer work. I guess after you get over the first stage of shock things get a bit easier (though I'm still completely confused about everything).
Today I sight read through Rach's 2nd. Guess it means things are starting to look up  :)