A way to attract girls through piano playing

[cuberdrift]

This is most probably not the first thread of its kind to appear in Pianostreet, although I'd like to give it a bit more detail.

I'm a young guy who isn't that good at socializing so trying any of the weird pickup stuff/advice is really a chore for me. Of course, one big reason is because of my field - piano/music, which is most often practiced alone. So I don't really get to hone my communication/charming skills.

I also notice that my eyes are rather quick in this matter; so much so that most if not all days of the week, unless I don't go out of the house, I notice at least one girl around that I might call "attractive", to an extent.

Since I invest a lot lf time and effort into music instead of interpersonal communication, and since music is kind of my passion anyway, I start to wonder if there is any way I can use this skill for such an end.

I have listed six possible ways in this poll, from which you may choose one which, in your opinion, is the best, to make girls attracted to a guy through just by playing piano music; no sweet talking, no fancy clothes, etc.

The seventh choice simply refers to the possibility that piano playing isn't really an activity that will make girls attracted to you.

I am very enthusiastic in finding out if there indeed is a way I can make such a thing happen just by playing the piano.

A crush on a girl does boost emotional energy in music, but the problem is, after that, you are still alone.

Your insights would be appreciated!

Regards,
Cuberdrift

[rachmaninoff_forever]

1.  If you wanna get girls just be yourself

2.  You forgot about jazz

3.  You should be able to do all of these

4.  If you play piano trying to impress a girl then you will fail every time because they'll know.  Just mind your own business and play whatever you feel like playing and you'll be fine

[mjames]

the only girls you're going to attract with classical music are married women over the age of 50.

[beethovenfan01]

LOL all or none, depends on the girl ... is there a particular person in mind?

[outin]

the only girls you're going to attract with classical music are married women over the age of 50.

I'm not married 

[pianoplayer002]

This is most probably not the first thread of its kind to appear in Pianostreet, although I'd like to give it a bit more detail.

I'm a young guy who isn't that good at socializing so trying any of the weird pickup stuff/advice is really a chore for me.

The reason the pickup advice feels weird to you is because it is weird. Most guys who go deep into that stuff get pretty messed up by it. Authentic communication between two human beings is not about tactics or lines or routines.

Of course, one big reason is because of my field - piano/music, which is most often practiced alone. So I don't really get to hone my communication/charming skills.

If you think about it, this is not really true. I happen to know many pianists, and most of them are pretty social people. Of the ones that aren't, the majority still have well developed social skills. So don't trick yourself into thinking your love for music is making you sacrifice your social skills, you have just, for whatever reason, chosen to avoid practising them. There is nothing wrong with that, just don't fool yourself into thinking there's some external reason that you don't have control over.

Since I invest a lot lf time and effort into music instead of interpersonal communication, and since music is kind of my passion anyway, I start to wonder if there is any way I can use this skill for such an end.

I think what you are really saying is "interpersonal communication feels scary to me [nothing wrong with that] so I've avoided doing it because I don't wanna feel bad feelings in my body [nothing wrong with that either]. But now I've come up with a reason to avoid interpersonal communication that sounds legitimate, can you guys please validate that it is legitimate?". And the funny thing is, just from reading between the lines in your post, you already know what you really need to do: get out there and practise your social skills. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but I promise you'll be ok.

I have listed six possible ways in this poll, from which you may choose one which, in your opinion, is the best, to make girls attracted to a guy through just by playing piano music; no sweet talking, no fancy clothes, etc.

The seventh choice simply refers to the possibility that piano playing isn't really an activity that will make girls attracted to you.

Dude, a woman is not going to want to be the girlfriend of your piano playing. She wants to be with you. That involves getting to know you. Getting to know somebody involves interpersonal communication. Your piano playing will at best show women who are also interested in piano music that you guys have something in common and that means that you might be interesting to some of these women. So you might just as well start practising interpersonal communication, because sooner or later you're gonna have to engage in it anyways.

Drop your ideas about being impressive or seducing women or whatever and just talk to them like normal human beings. That's plenty enough.

the only girls you're going to attract with classical music are married women over the age of 50.

All the women studying in music academia and getting degrees are married women over the age of 50?  

[mjames]

it was a joke.

[ted]

...Authentic communication between two human beings is not about tactics or lines or routines...

That is indeed the ideal, a strategy can be more damaging if it works than if it fails. Unfortunately, the world is not perfect and consequences can occur for those who refuse to play any games at all, but that need not concern us here. After I had known my wife a long time and we had both reached the conclusion that life without each other had become unthinkable, I asked her several times if she really thought she could tolerate my deep obsession with music. She repeatedly answered that she could, and the last thirty-eight years have proved her correct.

I do not recall any setting out on my part to attract her through my piano playing, I would have considered such an endeavour puerile. There is nothing wrong with meeting people through the common interest of piano playing though, just as you might meet somebody at a tennis club, university, or any area of shared interest. 

[themeandvariation]

"Since I invest a lot lf time and effort into music instead of interpersonal communication, and since music is kind of my passion anyway, I start to wonder if there is any way I can use this skill for such an end."

  "interpersonal communication"  ??  Well, you should really get out more..

[beethovenfan01]

I'm just remembering the last thread on this topic about Mazurkas and Women ... I got a kick out of that one too!

[mjames]

that one was for fun
this one seems to be more serious lol

and btw, mazurkas don't work on girls. my girlfriend completely hates them.

[cuberdrift]

Ha-ha, I must have been in some mood when I posted this. Hmm.

In any case, next semester I'm taking classes only in my Music college so I won't be encountering any of them which frankly, distract me lol. I really am not used to approaching people but I think I'll focus on getting physically in shape first so I can feel better about myself.

I'll follow rach's advice and "just be myself" in today's class. There's at least three of them there. Let's see.


Regarding the bit about scripted pick-up stuff..."Excuse me", "Hello", and "How are you" are scripted right? We say them all the time.

I guess I'll just walk around town more often just so I can somehow force myself to get used to communicating effectively with other humans.

Thanks for the advice everyone!

Btw how is Jazz "attractive"? I thought it was one of those music styles that float over people's heads. I'm trying to imagine  some guy picking up a chick using Art Tatum or something lol.

[outin]

The first thing to do to attract girls is to stop trying. Girls sense that and unless you are really attractive they will label you as pathetic. For both sexes playing a bit hard to get or at least nonchalant gets best results. So if you are not blessed with good looks and want to impress with music instead, you need to be absolutely cool about it and not let it show. Just be like: I am a god with the piano but I do not take any notice of you drooling girls around me.

[outin]

Btw how is Jazz "attractive"? I thought it was one of those music styles that float over people's heads. I'm trying to imagine  some guy picking up a chick using Art Tatum or something lol.

Jazz is all about sex...it's in the rhytms. All the intelligent bullshit is just to cover the original purpose of the music to make it more acceptable

[ted]

Jazz is all about sex...

Is it ? In some universal sense ? I've certainly missed the bus then ! Could be past it now of course but I can't say I remember erotic associations particularly with rhythmic music in younger years, and I played a lot of it. A composer friend, whose music I admire very much says that his entire output stems from eroticism. I have to believe him but his music doesn't transmit that to me when I hear or play it.  

I suddenly remembered this piece I wrote ages ago. I suppose, from the title, it must have concerned sex at least in a vaguely descriptive sense, but it must have operated at the unconscious level.

[outin]

Is it ? In some universal sense ? I've certainly missed the bus then ! Could be past it now of course but I can't say I remember erotic associations particularly with rhythmic music in younger years, and I played a lot of it. A composer friend, whose music I admire very much says that his entire output stems from eroticism. I have to believe him but his music doesn't transmit that to me when I hear or play it.   

One could claim that if there's no sex it's no real jazz
Did you notice how you replaced the s-word with something fancy? Maybe you need to loosen up a bit more to feel the sex in the beat

[ted]

I have added a file to my last post. Most people consider me far too loose as it is.

[outin]

I have added a file to my last post. Most people consider me far too loose as it is.

Do we dare to click it with that title??

Seriously, to understand the relationship between music and sex we need to look back at how and where this music evolved. Jazz was all about freedom in a time of change and some players openly admitted playing was a good way to get laid. And it was definitely considered dangerous and demoralizing by white folks...while at the same time very appealing for the same reason. Imagine you hear a jazz beat for the first time without being desensitized by the music of our times.

This age tends to make us historically blind because everything is so easy...The same applies to classical music. There were times when dancing or playing a duet were the only options for young unmarried people to interact, maybe even touch. Operas were sometimes like the porn films today, a dirty pleasure...so something like Scriabin who was openly sexual is just the tip of the iceberg...

[klavieronin]

I really feel for you. I know what it's like, but as others have suggested you are probably going about it the wrong way. Even if you were able to attract someone through your piano playing, at some point you are going to have to be able to interact with them on a personal level.

In my experience, and from what I have observed in others, these problems usually stem from feelings of inadequacy and a degree of low self esteem. I'm pretty sure there is no magic bullet for these issues but the only way you are going to get better interacting with people is to interact with them more. I would suggest trying building up you confidence in baby steps. Do something that only makes you a little uncomfortable and is low risk. Then push the boundaries just a little further each day.

People have also suggested being yourself which is important but I would caution against being too open and honest. You don't want to show people too much of your flaws and vulnerabilities. I tends to scare people off - this despite the fact that everyone is flawed and vulnerable - which brings me to my next point. It is really important to remember that girls/women are just people. They are no more special than you or me. Try to realise that what people tend to show the world is only their very best side and once you get to know them you will likely find they are just as crazy, stupid, perverted, irrational, selfish, fragile, and pathetic as everyone else.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Ha-ha, I must have been in some mood when I posted this. Hmm.

In any case, next semester I'm taking classes only in my Music college so I won't be encountering any of them which frankly, distract me lol. I really am not used to approaching people but I think I'll focus on getting physically in shape first so I can feel better about myself.

I'll follow rach's advice and "just be myself" in today's class. There's at least three of them there. Let's see.


Regarding the bit about scripted pick-up stuff..."Excuse me", "Hello", and "How are you" are scripted right? We say them all the time.

I guess I'll just walk around town more often just so I can somehow force myself to get used to communicating effectively with other humans.

Thanks for the advice everyone!

Btw how is Jazz "attractive"? I thought it was one of those music styles that float over people's heads. I'm trying to imagine  some guy picking up a chick using Art Tatum or something lol.

SOMEONES FINALLY TAKING MY ADVICE!!!!!!!!

Hey all jazz isn't art Tatum that's that old stuff.  Listen to more jazz you'll see what I mean.  I'm talking about the Shaun martins, Cory Henry's, Robert Glaspers, Jacob colliers of the world

Also how old are you?

[mjames]

It's generic advice tho
"be urself friendo"

come on man, you're a terrible wingman

here's the best (and generic) advice ever if you want to woo a girl:

1. Be funny
2. Repeat step 1

and tf jazz is about sex? lulz

[outin]

Ted, your piece may not be meant to be about sex but if you think back to where music like that was originally used: A bar with people drinking and hooking up with the opposite sex, possibly with a barely dressed lady dancing...there's definitely a connection. A successful one I'd say

[chomaninoff1]

There are many factors that go into attraction. Most likely a woman will not be attracted to you just because you play the piano. Your personality and looks factor into that as well. From your post it seems that you are seeing women you find attractive, and are then trying to figure out how to ask them out. Well, the the first step is to look good yourself. You are attracted to them because of their physical appearance, so there is no reason to think that they don't think the same way. Groom yourself, wear nice clothes etc. Second step is personality. Most people like fun, outgoing people. Work on being understanding, kind, confident, etc. Make sure you don't hold any sexist views. If you do, unlearn them. My advice is to play piano for yourself because you love it, not to impress someone else.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Look stop listening to everyone's advice where they're telling you that you have to look or dress a certain way or be funny or outgoing just be yourself.

Cause if you TRY to be something else then you will crash and burn EVERY time.

Now if you wanna change the way your physical appearance is by like going to the gym or work on your social skills or whatever that's cool and all but you should only do it for yourself not to please women.  

And if the girl you're interested in doesn't like you then it's not meant to be.  Move on you'll find someone else

[mjames]

the best advice is to stop getting advice from piano nerds

[cuberdrift]

SOMEONES FINALLY TAKING MY ADVICE!!!!!!!!

Hey all jazz isn't art Tatum that's that old stuff.  Listen to more jazz you'll see what I mean.  I'm talking about the Shaun martins, Cory Henry's, Robert Glaspers, Jacob colliers of the world

Also how old are you?

Hmm. I was about to post about the outcome then I read this.

Things have kind of improved today. When I'm not "myself" I'm just too shy to say what I want, but when I am, people get to like me a bit more. Thank you. :-)

I'm 20 and if I'm not mistaken, I think I remember reading a post of yours saying you're not that much older. :-)

More on this later.

[mjames]

dont listen to rach4ever

here's some real advice:

[rachmaninoff_forever]

dont listen to rach4ever

here's some real advice:

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU WATCH BOONDOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Hmm. I was about to post about the outcome then I read this.

Things have kind of improved today. When I'm not "myself" I'm just too shy to say what I want, but when I am, people get to like me a bit more. Thank you. :-)

I'm 20 and if I'm not mistaken, I think I remember reading a post of yours saying you're not that much older. :-)

More on this later.

22

[xdjuicebox]

Well, I lost my virginity after playing Rachmaninoff 33-4

[klavieronin]

Well, I lost my virginity after playing Rachmaninoff 33-4

Have you checked under the couch or behind the fridge? Don't worry, I'm sure it will turn up eventually.

[klavieronin]

Well, I lost my virginity after playing Rachmaninoff 33-4

Did you keep the receipt?

[xdjuicebox]

Did you keep the receipt?

LOL omg dude you are my new favorite person on this forum.

Nah I lost it. It's lost forever. Tragedy.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

I'm still a virgin because I never lose 

[cuberdrift]

I'm still a virgin because I never lose 

Didn't you post a thread long ago complaining about one of your girlfriends not wanting it anymore or something?

[visitor]

Your prob is you looking at this all wrong.
Ask the right question(s) to get at the right answer
You should be starting your self anaysis and self improvement journey with a different and better end point.
That is,
"How can I develop myself to the point that I am happy, confident ,more productive,  emotionally mature,  physically more attractive , and just an all around a more awesome version of me to the extent that when I want to bother with dealing girls,  I will be the one they are trying to get , how do i become a man that has it so together, they ask their friends "can I attract him if i....."
If you start with a premise of you doing the chasing, dude you are dead on arrival, they have to chase you, to that end you need to work on your presentation,  and be  compelling/interesting enough to peak their interest,  and enough of a challenge to them/her to keep that interest

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Didn't you post a thread long ago complaining about one of your girlfriends not wanting it anymore or something?

It was about how she cheated on me and tried to send me to jail

[timothy42b]

the best advice is to stop getting advice from piano nerds

Mostly true.

However, if you ARE a piano nerd (and most of us here will be somewhere in that spectrum) then it also makes no sense to listen to advice from the self confident, poised, articulate athletic type either.

One possible strategy is to listen to people like ted or me who've been married upwards of 30 years.

Uh, to the same person.  I guess it's perfectly possible to be married 30 years, to 30 spouses one year at a time.  But the lawyer's fees would be steep. 

[louispodesta]

"dcstudio" are you alive or are you deaf, dumb and blind?

Accordingly, this is the most Mysogenous ("Sexist Pig") post in the entire recent history of Pianostreet.  Are you dead?

If not, then please fire ("both barrels"), and then let them have it!

Not only does this post need to be reamed, this particular discourse (due to the current U.S. "Me Too" discussion) needs to be banished from Pianostreet permanently.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

"dcstudio" are you alive or are you deaf, dumb and blind?

Accordingly, this is the most Mysogenous ("Sexist Pig") post in the entire recent history of Pianostreet.  Are you dead?

If not, then please fire ("both barrels"), and then let them have it!

Not only does this post need to be reamed, this particular discourse (due to the current U.S. "Me Too" discussion) needs to be banished from Pianostreet permanently.

Dcstudio never said anything though

[visitor]

Dcstudio never said anything though

lol I was so lost amd confused when I read the reply

[ronde_des_sylphes]

Yes, I certainly didn't expect that from louis. Something more like "roll your chords and the girls just can't resist". 

More seriously, I really don't think anyone is advocating abusing women.

[timothy42b]

I didn't read it as predatory towards women.

I read the OP as someone who is shy, socially inexperienced, and open to suggestions as how to interact better with people and especially women. 

This is something that a lot of serious musicians struggle with.  So do engineers, accountants, other people with single minded dedication to technical skills; it is as if we were somewhere on the autistic/Asperger's spectrum, at least for that piece of the triad. 

There are ways to mitigate it somewhat. 

[mjames]

as a pianist philosopher women come to me
I treat them like I treat my rolled chords, finger legato

[mjames]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU WATCH BOONDOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jews have the torah
we have the boondocks

[rachmaninoff_forever]

as a pianist philosopher women come to me
I treat them like I treat my rolled chords, finger legato

I'm gonna throw up

[mjames]

I'm gonna throw up

imagining louis saying that
glorious aint it

[rachmaninoff_forever]

jews have the torah
we have the boondocks

Facts b

[louispodesta]

1)  I am still waiting for dcstudio, who in the past had anything and everything derogatory to say about her ex-husband, to weigh in on this, and:

2)  If any of you ever has the guts to say to their piano teacher, mother, or father ("out loud" "looking them in the eye") the question posed by this so-called Poll, you let us all know about it.

3)  For someone like myself, who has been around rock and roll bands most of my adult life, the most common stated reason for participating in such was:  "to pick up chicks, and/or to get laid."  I never thought in ten lifetimes that I would read this garbage on a classical piano music website.

[pianoplunker]

A crush on a girl does boost emotional energy in music, but the problem is, after that, you are still alone.

Your insights would be appreciated!

Regards,
Cuberdrift

There is a musical word for what you describe - "Fantasizing" -even the great composers have done it - dont feel so alone if nothing happens. You'll get one next time, maybe. LOL