I hope hbyoung chooses to respond in their own thread this time.
Does anyone have tips on the pacing of these lessons?
From my experience I see that pacing is individual, it is not constrained by age unless you are dealing with extreme young or old ages.
How do you tell adult students that their expectations are unrealistic?
For adults it is simply unneceesary to tell them something just show it to them, this is stronger and they will make the connection themselves. I have gone through tough works my students want to learn, the majority suffer and struggle then accept they need to make a change and build up to the level they wish, but a few have really surprised me. So we have to be wary as teachers not to stop students aiming for the stars, give them that space to test themselves and guide them in that process but of course give them some work along side this all which is easy to manage.
I feel like I am often in a crossroad between what I know as an experienced teacher and what the student wants me to do because they are the "customer."
Doing what is right is not always right and some students need to experience inefficient studies so that they will fully appreciate a better way. We don't want robots for students who follow instructions but thinking individuals who become more aware about their own hands and mind at the piano. No problems to do what the customer wants as it may take you in interesting directions you didn't realize was possible, but more often than not you have to slowly guide them away from wasting too much time with inefficient work and balance it out with work which can be done with more control and consistent progress.
How does one 'rehabilitate' adult learners who played in childhood and took a long break? I am falling back on what my mentors taught me, but my adult students seem to expect a much faster progression than they are capable of. Or am I teaching them ineffectively?
Of course you cannot put an adult solely through a childs beginner book or get them to do childrens theory sheets, it is just rather berating. You can have that in lessons but to make it only exist on that looks bad to most adults. There is no problems having a piece which is really challenging for them to learn but of course along side that we have more appropriate works which will help build their skill base.
I think it is important to get some early beginner adult students to stop listening to impressive recordings of pianists, they need to insulate themselves and not distract themselves with other peoples achievements. This is to me one of the major psychological challenges of adults learning the piano I don't come across many young children who watch lots of piano videos. The ones who are totally insulated within their own studies really find the love and joy for what they are doing much easier. I teach several 70+ year olds and most of them were total beginners at the piano and creating music. None of them had expectations to be a concert pianist or play high level music, they just focused on what they loved in music and were perfectly happy to play melodies of songs they love even if it was supported by simple chords and single note melody. I find those adult students who listen to a vast amount of piano music are more problematic to work with and especially so if they are not that talented at the piano. So it may be a good idea to talk about this situation with adult students who have their heads in the clouds.