Playing piano with vibrato (joke)

[mmccarthy]

Do any pianists here know how to make vibrato at the piano? I found three methods:

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[brogers70]

If you'd posted this on April 1st, I'd have understood. None of those methods would allow you to play a piece with vibrato, as you obviously know.

[mmccarthy]

If you'd posted this on April 1st, I'd have understood. None of those methods would allow you to play a piece with vibrato, as you obviously know.

Sorry I was some days late! All in good fun.

Other ideas people have suggested:
-Construct piano with whammy bar
-attach actuator to the soundboard
-“Rotating feather drum” to interfere with standing waves