Torpesian Principles of Illusory and Verbose Pontification by the Baron Hans Richter von Torpese
I came across an obscure translation of this text while hiding out in the library during finals week once. I was supposed to be studying for my Calculus final but instead had dropped some mushrooms and was simply rummaging around the book shelves seeking some other form of mind-expanding enlightenment. This text was a godsend. It opened up whole new worlds for me in terms of freeing my inner child from the imprisonment of the bourgeois societal pressures. It allowed me the ability to prevaricate at will while maintaining a complete and genuine air of accountability.
I simply lopped off the ending of the Baron’s name and became Torp.
It is also an acronym for the following:
Totally Obtuse Ridiculous Prevarication
Btw, all that is a load of crap, but it sure sounds a lot more interesting than “Uh, it’s my last name.” Which, in fact, is the real truth.
