I thought that he would be like me,
Nice to know that you have a massively large imagination, however ill directed it may be. "Never apologise, never explain", a former governor of the bank of England once said; well, that may be abit harsh in certain circumstances, but "never assume" would surely make a more workable alternative - and one which you'd do well to espouse.
and not have any friends.
The number and nature of your friends and mine are, respectively, our own prerogatives.
Agreed, it's always good to have someone to drive you home after a skin-full. He would be OK for that.
Who would? If you mean me, how would you know? To begin with, what makes you think that I'd agree to do so, whether or not you'd had a "skinful"?
Fits in well with having someone to go to the bar for you.
What does? I'd imagine that, if you really have no freinds (as you say is the case), you'd have quite a problem in getting anyone to go to the pub with you in the first place, let alone go to the bar once there and get you drinks.
If you can find one person to do both, even better.
If you could find one person to do either, you'd presumably have achieved something of no mean significance.
But I would tell Rebby not to continue throwing nuts at him while he was driving. That might be dangerous.
What you might tell her is up to you but, since the entire chain of circumstances that you put forward exists nowhere outside your imagination, that would seemingly be a matter for the two of you alone.
Getting out more might be a good idea for you; you'd probably be wise to have some nice quiet solitary walks first, however, before going a few stages farther and venturing to the pub in the company of others.
Best,
Alistair