Uh! FINALLY my audition packet for Aretha Franklin is out for delivery, after circling her house for days being missent, apparently, several times to different places. I looked at the map and it *seems* it's being delivered from a different zip code than the one I sent it to! There was some confusion there, I guess, with the address given and all that. BUT, hopefully it's out for delivery to the right place and people!!! Now, Aretha, start fallin' in love with me
(actually, I'm not sure what I would do if she did ... yikes!). I'm still gonna need to play the piano, though ... :-
I'm trying to just be open and trusting about things ... open to adventure, and trusting that there are ways to work things out. It's a little scary! But, I'm on this "life unimaginable" kick since the New Year (rather unintentionally ... it just sort of fell into my path). After these past couple of years, especially, I feel more open, to that which I can't imagine. And, this morning, as I was sorting through things, it seems that life just is humanly unimaginable. I mean, I know it doesn't seem that way in lots of cases, but the more I reason through it, the more it seems that way to me. I know there is this big thing about making tangible, manifesting what your desires are, so on and so forth. I'm not even speaking against that, necessarily, it's just this whole other thing.
I guess I feel that if we could work out these past couple of years, for me to keep studying with my beloved teachers, for me to keep practicing piano and to work stuff up with voice, AND to be teaching as much as I have been, there's got to be a way to work something out if I happen to start getting work as a performer. I'm just being open to possibilities so life can show me, instead of deciding that I know for sure all the answers already. It's ok to just make decisions as I take footsteps, right? If things really did change, though, I'm not sure I could handle super big, super quick changes. I've been in some cave, you know, deep, deep in some other realm for a few years ... nearly seeing only my students, my husband, my dog, and my teachers. Maybe nothing's changing though? I just know that I feel more at peace in my life if it's in some kinds of motions, like at least I'm taking some footsteps which I'm feeling compelled to take about some deeper questions, at a time when it seems right for me to be doing so. No matter what, whether my surroundings change or not, that's a different inner life, and that's been needed.
*goes back to practicing*