Snail Race!

[Spatula]

Snails are more visually okay than slugs.  EWW! 

[Bob]

Yes, I was thinking of slugs.  Slugs are like living boogers.

I guess snails are like living boogers inside of shells (as you so often see).



And that's Dr. Bob, thank you very much.  I didn't go to eight years of Bob school for nothing  (adapted from Austin Powers)

[Bob]

Wow...  the Snail Race fell back to page 2.  I thought for a moment Nils had removed it.  I was think of the waste of creativity.  I wonder if I should backup this thread to save the ideas....

Anyhow, here's a related thread to the Snail Race.

https://pianoforum.net/smf/index.php?topic=5685




lol.... The Snail Race gets more views than some of the serious posts. 

[Tash]

*bump*

this gets viewed cos it's interesting and highly creative and artistic or everyone. come on release your inner artistic snail talents!

[DarkWind]

ooh cute!

spatula please this is a forum for kids of all ages! just think of poor little darkwind and others! we're meant to be staying away from pianoporn and anything related so keep it private please!;)

...

You should take a ride on our bus one day. Oh boy, your mind will CHANGE about how "innocent" we are...

[Tash]

hmm i don't think i want to just let me think you little ones are still sweet and innocent!

[DarkWind]

About as innocent as a war veteran who visits several harems a week...

[Ludwig Van Rachabji]

This is.... very interesting. Very.... interesting thread you've got here, Bob. 

Right....

[Tash]

oh yes we went a bit off track didn't we...

darkwind my eyes are shut i can't see what you're writing!!!

[Bob]

Shhh!   These snails are sleeping (because the freaking middle of the night here!).


_@_   "zzzz....."      _@_      _@_         _@_       _@_          _@_        _@_
    _@_         _@_      _@_      _@_ _@_        _@_        _@_      _@_    _@_ 
_@_      _@_    _@_    _@_      _@_           _@_     _@_        _@_      _@_   _@_   
  _@_        _@_    _@_      \@_    _@_   (snores)    _@_      _@_       _@_     _@_   

[Bob]

Bob speaks to snails....

"Oh, my poor snails!  No one loves you anymore!  You're thread is falling down in the list!  Poor snails!  Poor, poor snails!  Come here, poor snails...."  (hugs snails) mmmmmmm-uh! (kisses snail)   "Uck!.... Pahtooey!"  (steps on snail) 

[Tash]

aw don't step on the snails! i love the snails they will always have a place in my heart lost thread or not

[Bob]

(sweeps crushed snails under the carpet and looks around)

[xvimbi]

Bob, are you by any chance the snail guy from the movie "Delicatessen"? If you haven't seen this, it's a must for any snail lover...

... and so is a big jar of garlic/herb butter 

[Bob]

Nope.  Sounds like an interesting movie.

I only like the typed version.  I think it's just because it's a little typed create you can move around.  Maybe I'll find something else.  You could really substitute anything instead of a snail I think.

[Stolzing]

Look at the google ads that appear at the bottom of this thread. 

Here's a pic in case it changes:

https://img60.exs.cx/img60/2238/snails9ky.jpg

[athykay]

Observation already made, but pretty funny all the same:

https://pianoforum.net/smf/index.php/topic,5441.50.html

Bob, I'm feeling very hurt that you've not commented on my marquee.

[pianonut]

_ /        _ /     _ /     _ /                    $$$        \ _   


ok.  nowdays, i think it's not so much love or money.  it's snaioogling.  now i don't mean snuggling (it could be misconstrued).  it is truly finding the wonders of artistic potential with dashes and dots.  i love those moving pictures.                                       

[Bob]

Snail oogling?   I'm not into that. 


When snails and tiny ice skaters and spiders collide you get...














Juggling!   (circus music plays, drum rolls, cymbals crashes)

   0
0     0
_ /
   |
  /\



0
  0    0
0           0
_ /
   |
  /\



     0
  0  0   0
 0     0
0     0 
_ /
   |
  /\



_ /   _ / _ /    _ /   _ /   _ /   _ _
   |        |      |         |        |         |        |
   |\       |\     |\       |\       |\        |\      |\

Yeah.... I don't know what to think about that one....  And those legs have to be carefully worked out otherwise they really don't look right.   I think that one on the end's a little over-confident.  Probably has a big ego and is arrogant too, that son of a gun....



Which one didn't practice?
_ /  _ / _ /  _ /  _ /    _ /    _ _
   |        |      |         |        |         |        |
   |\       |\     |\       |\       |\        |\      |\





   _ _   
  /  T   \
     |
    /\
   |   |
   ]   L

That looks like something a little kid who draws racecars would create.



Ah, the first female one....  (another challenging one, fraught with potential disaster)

   @
_ _
    |
  /_\
   ||

That's as large as I dare create one.


Great, I can create frumpy smiley women...

   @
_ _
    |
  /_\
   ||

(looks like a pug dog)



   &
_ _
    |
  /_\
   ||


   ///
_ _
    |
  /_\
   ||


I think I should go now.  This is just starting to get a little weird.  (hopes this doesn't mean anything)


but before I go....




A three-headed, mutant smiley woman!

   &
_ _
        |
      /_\
       ||


 


And now for an informative comment to keep this thread from being deleted...

Pianos are made of ebony wood, or so I've heard.  Is that correct?  Are pianos made out of any other kind of wood?  Spuce, maple, pine?  Does that have an effect on the sound?  (hopefully this comment won't transfer the snail race to the instrument board.)

Bob the Mystic says, "Hmm.... I predict Tash will reply next!  Let's see...."

[Tash]

bob you never fail to keep me entertained

[Bob]

nuts
nutsnuts
nutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts
nutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnutsnuts

What the heck is a snut?

I'm trying to change the ads down there.

nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nutsnuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
I bet Jack Nichalson wished he had the copy and paste function in the Shining.
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
red rum red rum red rum red rum red rum red rum red rum red rum red rum red rum
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts

... all without taking more than one breath!

Expressively...
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts!

Allegro...
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts

Rallentando...
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts

(hopes I don't attract squirrels)

Hurried...
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts


(out of breath)

[Bob]

'go*******t..." (sighs)

[Tash]

what is a snut?

a slutty nut

[athykay]

Oh, man.  I really didn't want to do this, but since you "still" didn't acknowledge my tribute - well - I really have no choice.

snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails
slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin exterminate vermin
creepy crawly creepy crawly creepy crawly creepy crawly creepy crawly  creepy
crawly creepy crawly creepy crawly creepy crawly creepy crawly creepy crawly
yucky yucky yucky yucky yucky yucky yucky yucky yucky yucky yucky yucky
icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky icky
slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy slimy
snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails snails

[Bob]

rewr!  I don't know the song very well.  Just heard it off the commercial.  Sorry. 

My snails are not icky.  They are only made of type.

[pianonut]

figuring the ratio of snails to mileage to speed
            20 _ /  X 7 inches x variable =
 

[pianonut]

i figure 1.4 inches per message using 20% of the snails as actual movers and shakers.  does this figure sound right.  my snail has persistence.  it doesn't stop when someone tells it it has no feeling.  this is my third snaioogle.  it is now at 4.2 inches.  if a tsunami doesn't hit before "snaily" makes it - she will praised for her slow but dilligent progress.

                                                           (2 is equal to two spaces)
                                                            (inches equal 18 spaces +-)

                                                                                _ /                                         

[Bob]

hmmmm.... the original snail race?  Snail race 2?

Go!

_@/ 
_@/ 
_@/ 

[Bob]

(two hours later)

_@/ 
  _@/ 
_@/

[Bob]

(2.5 hours into the race)

 _@/ 
    \@_
_@/

[pianonut]

Your gastropods need to quit shelloogling.  There is no need for belly footing around.  I will shoot the gun agin.

[Bob]

  _@/ 
 \@_
 _@/ "Moo!"

[Tash]

moo eh what's that snail on

[Bob]

I think he's confused.

[Tash]

oh just a bit!

[Bob]

   _@/ 
 \@_
     _@/ "Moo?"











_@/ 
     \@_
 _@/ "Moo! Moo-ooo!"










_@/ 
     \@_                                         (excited) "Moo!"...
 _@/ "Moo! Moo-ooo!"




 



_@/ 
     \@_                                             "Moo!" \@_   ) ) )
 _@/ "Moo! Moo!" (also excited)








(close up)


        "Moo!" \@_
 _@/ "Moo!


Oh come on... Hey!  Don't sniff that!   Knock it off you two....

[jgoo]

Whoa cool, this thread is awsome! Lots of talent here.

[pianonut]

You're asking the wrong question.  These are advanced gastropods on their way to figuring out the answers like:  do snails need underwater breathing apparatus?  or, do snails feel it when you step on them?

Did you know that snails are both male and female?  They certainly wouldn't be mooing around.  But, they are kind of strange when in the fertilizing process.  I don't understand that.  what kind of creature needs another androgenous one?  This is too bizarre, but snails kind of are bizarre.

_ /  "squishaslugwatchoutfer"  too late....   ____        "i felt that."

[Bob]

back to the race....

              _@/ 
  \@_
         _@/

[pianonut]

my husband just returned from france (yaahhh, chocolate)  and missing the escargot, he opted for just plain chinese food across the street and down 1/2 block from the hotel.  he said hotel food is bad. (just watching a travel show, and she said "make sure to ask them to take the continental breakfast off your bill")  anyway,

you need "the snail's guide to adventure" for the snail going the other direction.  maybe he's going to the moo vies.   
 

[Bob]

                _@/ 
 ? \@_
           _@/



                    _@/ 
 !!!  \@_
              _@/




                         _@/ 
( ( (  _@/
                 _@/

[pianonut]

ok so you don't like moo vies.  how about moo rish architecture?  or, moo shey chocolate?  moo leevookooshey,  this is snail talk in french.

- /                                                         

[Tash]

pianonut you are quite the bizarre!

*cheers on the middle snail*

[pianonut]

dear tash,

yes.  i fluctuate from times where i have more faith in my outlook and other times i am fairly silly (maybe bizarre, but not the androgenous kind).  the snail race is a venue that i can relate to because i've never been particularly fast, tho not slow either.  i am a persistent, sort of idiotic snail, that happens upon unusual situations and makes the most of wherever i'm at.  i've given up trying to impress my husband or his friends (as you can see, i don't speak a foreign language) and the times in my life when i have had "success" have been due to miraculous help at very interesting times.  thus, my motto is "never quit" and "be patient." 

                                        _ /   moo ving along (no snail french)

[Bob]

    Uh-oh!... Things are speeding up.

That middle one must have gotten whacked in head... (shakes head, wonders if that middle one teaches music and that's what causes this)


                   (       (   (  _@/ 
                                            ( ( (  _@/ "Meow!!!"
                      (  (  _@/

[jgoo]

( ( ( _@/ "Meow!!!"

Just wondering: is that intended to be a Spongebob Squarepants reference?

[Bob]

No.



(thinks to self, 'Oh god, what have implied?')

[Tash]

oh i HATE spongebob with an absolute passion that is the worst show of all time.

meanwhile in my latest t-shirt painting phase bob you should be happy to know my next one shall depict the giant snail, and it shall be called bob hehe

[Bob]

I've heard things about this Sponge Bob guy.  I'm not sure what I might have been implying up there.

(flattered to have an anonymous influence on Tash's work)

[jgoo]

The thing with Spongebob (most of the time) is you either like it or you don't. I think it's funny usually, though there are some episodes which cross the line into complete stupidity and not worth watching. Overall though, I do like Spongebob, yes. I'm not going to bother with the movie though. Maybe if it's on TV someday I'll watch it, but it just looks stupid, and you can't really take something like Spongebob and turn it into a movie anyway. It just doesn't work.