How old are you?
Listen, your mom is always going to love you ! Period. It may come off rough at times but moms love their kids .
This lie has become bigger each moment, since 3 years ago.I only want to improve my piano skills and also present music exams, so 3 years ago, I entered to music courses which of course my family, specially my mom, was aware of.However, I felt that I needed more, so I called for a piano teacher in the same school, and that was not so bad for that moment, just need to see him once for a week. From there, I didn't tell my parents about it.Then, things started to get complicated, even though I started to improve in my music techniques and I have felt so happy to assist. Last year on August I enrolled to a non-official music school where I met new people. There was also a piano teacher who was only temporal because she was doing a favour to the owner of the school. When she told me that she was not going to give more classes there, I had to take a choice: to take piano classes also with her but without anyone, not even in that school, to know. And also, she has given me other subjects for an exam I want to take this year.So currently here is my situation: I have 3 piano teachers, I am in a music school and I am planning to take admission exams in order to get to a new music school. And in the future I will take singing classes with another teacher.Each of my piano teachers doesn't know (except for one) that I am taking piano classes with other teachers. Also they don't know that I am going with all in secret (only my family knows one of them and viceversa)But the worse thing, because sometimes I regret it, is that all this whole mess has been kept in secret by me to my family, my mom specifically, because if I say something to someone else of my family, they can divulge it to my mom.The reason I haven't told her the truth is because each time I have tried to tell her about something which is special for me, she starts to criticize it and starts to discourage me either on purpose or not, transmitting her fears and insecurities, making me feel so insecure and afraid of taking risks.And even though I regret it, what I am not regretting is that I met interesting people and guides in order to improve myself in music, even though I haven't been admitted in a official school.I would like to tell my family the whole secret, but I am afraid of the consequences, specially from my mom, I fear that she will get very, very angry.I am not sure what to do.
Two reasons..
Keeping lies steady is alot of work.
"But honey, I bought it for you!"
Your problem is not that your mother will overreact - she might, she might not, doesn't matter.Your problem is how fearful you are. Not to be harsh, but your problems are internal. It's not a horrible problem to have, in the grand scheme of things. But you might want to see a counselor to work through some of this. Universities often have free counseling centers, if you end up admitted.
I don't understand why this is a problem to have 3+ teachers. What am I missing?
The best thing about being an adult is that you can do things your way and don't need to explain yourself .
I'm worried my wife will find out about that extra guitar I bought that is hidden downstairs closet , before I want to let it known to her. The feeling is the worst when you have a lack of peace due to lying or non disclosure. Everyday I drive back from work preparing for that day when I open the garage door and her standing there w that guitar in hand smiling at me like "get ready for tonite you're going to get something coming to you "
This is the only time in life you have to do it while you are still young. We are not getting any younger. Time is passing really quickly, don't waste it overthinking, feeling guilty and submitting yourself to anybody. Work out your independence and freedom and enjoy it.