How to approach a girl

[imbetter]

Ok, so I'm still pretty young. There's this girl in my class that I really like and I want to tell her but I don't have the guts. Any advice on how to talk to her would be appriacted.

Thanks



P.S. After we become "aquinted" I'm going to play her Listz's Valse-Caprices No.6 to impress her

[thalbergmad]

Ok, so I'm still pretty young. There's this girl in my class that I really like and I want to tell her but I don't have the guts. Any advice on how to talk to her would be appriacted.

Thanks



P.S. After we become "aquinted" I'm going to play her Listz's Valse-Caprices No.6 to impress her

Fortune favours the brave old boy, summon the courage and tell her. Ask yourself, what is the worst she can say?

Forget any other replies you get in this forum.

I am the resident expert on women.

If she does not like you, tell her to get stuffed.

Good luck.

Thal

[jpianoflorida]

Fortune favours the brave old boy, summon the courage and tell her. Ask yourself, what is the worst she can say?

Forget any other replies you get in this forum.

I am the resident expert on women.

If she does not like you, tell her to get stuffed.

Good luck.

Thal

agree up until the "tell he to get stuffed".....leave that part off lol

[amanfang]

I don't know if I'd try the ol' "play the piano to impress her" thing.  Some girls (myself included) get very turned off by guys trying to show off.  I tend to think of them as arrogant and full-of-himself.  I would prefer to get to know someone first and see that they care about me and respect me before they go trying to show-off.

But that's just me...

[jpianoflorida]

I don't know if I'd try the ol' "play the piano to impress her" thing.  Some girls (myself included) get very turned off by guys trying to show off.  I tend to think of them as arrogant and full-of-himself.  I would prefer to get to know someone first and see that they care about me and respect me before they go trying to show-off.

But that's just me...

yes..don't try to "impress" ..just be yourself, ask her out to a movie or concert or something like that....that's the best..

by the way, how old are you?

[thalbergmad]

ask her out to a movie

Make sure she pays her half.

Women have been fighting for years for equality. Make sure they get it.

Thal

[sirpazhan]

Make sure she pays her half.

Women have been fighting for years for equality. Make sure they get it.

Thal

I couldn't have said it better..... he he ,,

[prometheus]

It is really very simple. The thing is that it is not easy to do.

Woman/Girls are just normal people. There is no thing that prevents you from understanding them any more than there are things that prevent you to understand men or female people like your sister or your mother.

It is also very normal for humans to have friends. It is very normal for humans to find some people interesting, nice or funny. It is also very normal for people to look for new friends.

So what you want to do is tell her, very casually and cool without implying anything, that you think she is funny or interesting or that she has hobbies that are interesting. Of course  assuming that this is all true and she isn't just a distant pretty girl you have a crush on while not knowing anything about her.

So returning to what I said. It is very important for you to give her the idea that you aren't interested in romance or dating per se but that you are just a honest social open guy that just bluntly compliments people sometimes. So say it without asking for a date or looking shy. And, again, do it without sounding like someone who really wants to have a girlfriend.
The things you say must appear to be gender-independent.

To do this you have to mean this. If you don't then it doesn't only not work; it will be meaningless.


So what I am saying. Treat her like if she were a boy. I mean, people generally treat only their own gender people as real people. When they socialize with someone of the oppisite sex they start to act, play games, etc.
So get rid off romance-pressure. Develop honest healthy relationships with females you like. Even if you think they could never be your girlfriend; doesn't matter.

This way you also do not need the 'guts' to 'make a move' or to be a 'player'.

I mean, you could also walk up to her, give her a compliment and then propose a date. But if she rejects there may be thousands of reasons.

I mean, what would you do when a girl you don't know at all or a girl that you know only a little suddenly walks up to you and asks you for your telephone number or for a date? I would say 'no' regardless of what I think about them. I mean, I would be amused but interested; don't know.

So an element is also that you need to accept that you are young and that we all have to learn, or rather un-learn, how to treat people of the opposite sex. If you feel the pressure of failure then you will not have any guts. But don't think about it as so serious a thing. She is just a person. You are just a person. All people need friendships.
If people aren't interested then that is fine. If they are it is just as fine. Don't make such a big deal about it. Just be a 'giving person', rather than a 'needing person'. Then see who returns.

If you just take out some male friends in your class out for a drink you can just as well offer the same thing to a few of your female friends. It would be the same thing. For example, if you end up chatting with a male classmate about the new James Bond movie and just invite him to watch it together you can just as easily have a 'innocent and fun' quasi-date with a female who shares in interest with you in some other kind of movie. Or maybe also James Bond.

So don't go out on 'dates' when you 'need' something because you have a crush and hormones force you to do so.

You have found a person that is a potentional new friend. That's it. Whatever ends up happening and what type of friendship may turn out isn't that important.

So, it's really simple but hard to do.


As for 'players'. They don't exist. These are people that find weak people that can be used. Which they can dominate in a relationship. Unequal friendship should generally be avoided. Friends aren't your parents.

On the other side you have people that are confident, relaxed and social. They aren't bend on finding new friends, dating more woman. But they are just always open to other people.
You don't have the guts. So what are you afraid of? I mean, it's very normal. But that doesn't mean it makes sense; it isn't rational.

That's my early morning rant, I guess.

[quantum]

Some wise words there prometheus

[thalbergmad]

And by the time you have read prometheus's wise post, someone else has asked her out and she is married with 2 children.

Do it now, waste no time, sieze the moment.

Thal

[asyncopated]

Woman/Girls are just normal people. There is no thing that prevents you from understanding them any more than there are things that prevent you to understand men or female people like your sister or your mother.

There's a new one.  Females are people too.  Go figure.  (I never really have.)

[imbetter]

Thanks for all your advice people. It's really appriaciated and helpfull, I will pay attention to all of it.

Prometheus, it took me 5 minutes to read your post

Thanks again

[jpianoflorida]

watch it prometheus..you and pianistimo are going to start competing for "who can write the longest post"...ok,just kidding..we love you guys posts!

[thalbergmad]

watch it prometheus..you and pianistimo are going to start competing for "who can write the longest post"...ok,just kidding..we love you guys posts!

Indeed, it was a post of "Hintonesque" proportions.

Thal

[ihatepop]

How old are you?

I definately would not encourage any relationship unless you're above 13.

ihatepop

[thalbergmad]

How old are you?

I definately would not encourage any relationship unless you're above 13.

ihatepop

More like 53. Live a life first and then let women ruin it.

Thal

[jpianoflorida]

so thal..   I take it you've had some bad experiences.    Sorry!   

[thalbergmad]

so thal..   I take it you've had some bad experiences.    Sorry!   

And some good ones.

[jpianoflorida]

or wait thal...believe it or not, I've never noticed whether you are male or female until i just looked at your profile...forgive me!

[thalbergmad]

or wait thal...believe it or not, I've never noticed whether you are male or female until i just looked at your profile...forgive me!

You have obviously never looked at the pictures thread.

How many 19 stone women with beards do you know

Thal

[jpianoflorida]

no ..haven't looked at pics..ok, so you are a guy?  why does you profile say female?

[thalbergmad]

no ..haven't looked at pics..ok, so you are a guy?  why does you profile say female?

Becuase i am an idiot.

Look at my e mail addresses.

Thal

[jpianoflorida]

thanks for the info! lol       i need more coffee...it's early in florida.lol

[debussy symbolism]

Greetings.

What is the point of getting involved in a romantic(if somewhat) relationship? My advice is to not get involved, despite her physical appearance and an amiable personality, as it will only retard your educational process, and possibly interfere with your not yet puberty inflated personality. Wait until you are older. Love is simply but an ephemeral feeling of lust that can does more harm than good( usually), and especially at a younger age. I recommend reading Shakespeare's "Mindsummer Night's Dream" to get a glimpse of what love can do.

[annoying_airhead]

"If you want to write a love letter that shows you really like a girl, say 'Enclosed please find a cookie'!" - Lucy's Little Book of Advice.  =)

[imbetter]

=t

Greetings.

What is the point of getting involved in a romantic(if somewhat) relationship? My advice is to not get involved, despite her physical appearance and an amiable personality, as it will only retard your educational process, and possibly interfere with your not yet puberty inflated personality. Wait until you are older. Love is simply but an ephemeral feeling of lust that can does more harm than good( usually), and especially at a younger age. I recommend reading Shakespeare's "Mindsummer Night's Dream" to get a glimpse of what love can do.

I happen to get really good grades and I doubt this will retart them. You are only putting me down because you're one of those people who take life too seriously. So if your going to put nagitive comments like that then you have no buissness on my post.

With all due respect

[Mozartian]

---

[imbetter]

Girls have cooties! rofl

[imbetter]

How are all of you finding out im 11???

[arensky]

How are all of you finding out im 11???

Look at your profile.... 

[debussy symbolism]

=t
I happen to get really good grades and I doubt this will retart them. You are only putting me down because you're one of those people who take life too seriously. So if your going to put nagitive comments like that then you have no buissness on my post.

With all due respect

Of course there is no offense to you, but grades are going to be the last thing on your mind when you suddenly find your girlfriend environing all your life. Especially during your age, puberty effects are still alien to you, and no matter what one says, puberty will win. Don't take my advice here as negative. You will find it more enjoying to be in a relationship when love can be serious and not at all perfidious.

[debussy symbolism]

Dude you're 11. You're supposed to hate girls at that age, what's wrong with you?!

Hah when I was 14 a guy got sweet on me. It pissed me off so much.

-moz
(who wouldn't mind a guy getting sweet on her so much now, as long as he likes bach)

What was the guy's name?

Hormones makes man go crazy. Succumb to their influence and you might find your Hermia sleeping with Demitrius.

[klick]

Just chat with her, thats all.  Get close, see if you really like her and she likes you, and then you should go for it. One of my buddies goes through women like nothing because he doesn't get to know them before he asks them out, and then gets really depressed after getting dumped every week.

That might work


Klick

[ihatepop]

Just make sure its not infatuation(sp?).

ihatepop

[thalbergmad]

Just make sure its not infatuation(sp?).

ihatepop

Listen to this wise man.

Learn from your elders.

Well, he is 12

[ihatepop]

Listen to this wise man.

Learn from your elders.

Well, he is 12

 

ihatepop

[asyncopated]

Here is my seven day plan

Day 1. Get phone number
Day 2. First base
Day 3. Second base
Day 4. Third base
Day 5. Home run
Day 6. Elope and get married.
Day 7. Now, now that's a day of rest.

The heavens and the earth was created in seven days, and that was much more complicated --  this should be no problem.

[imbetter]

Here is my seven day plan

Day 1. Get phone number
Day 2. First base
Day 3. Second base
Day 4. Third base
Day 5. Home run
Day 6. Elope and get married.
Day 7. Now, now that's a day of rest.

The heavens and the earth was created in seven days, and that was much more complicated --  this should be no problem.

Your sick man. Go get a life.

[asyncopated]

Succumb to their influence and you might find your Hermia sleeping with Demitrius.

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.

Your sick man. Go get a life.

It's "you're" not "your". 

Ok, reminder to self, don't crack biblical reference jokes with with an 11 year old, or quote Shakespeare.

[cziffra]

Your sick man. Go get a life.

If you can't even handle a joke like that then you are no where near mature enough yet to have a girlfriend.  Sorry, youngbuck.

[imbetter]

I can handle a joke like that but I'd prefer if people act mature on this post.

[cziffra]

This weeks sign of the apocolypse:  11- year old talkabout maturity.

Up next week:  Pianistimo goes 24 hours without saying god or jesus.

[asyncopated]

Pianistimo goes 24 hours without saying god or jesus.

No way! If this happens I might just start believing.

[thalbergmad]

This weeks sign of the apocolypse:  11- year old talkabout maturity.

Up next week:  Pianistimo goes 24 hours without saying god or jesus.

I will give you 10 to 1 on that

[imbetter]

I'm sick of you people putting me down because I'm 11 years old. Just because I'm younger then you all doesen't mean I can't act mature. I don't think Piantisimo can go 24 hours without saying God or Jesus. It will never happen.

[asyncopated]

I'm sick of you people putting me down because I'm 11 years old.

My boy (opps), we are not putting you down, just restating the fact to make you painfully aware of it.  

I will give you 10 to 1 on that

Should we bet using fingers or sheep?

[thalbergmad]

I'm sick of you people putting me down because I'm 11 years old. Just because I'm younger then you all doesen't mean I can't act mature. I don't think Piantisimo can go 24 hours without saying God or Jesus. It will never happen.

Hold on junior, don't throw your toys out of the pram, who is putting you down?

Maybe we better open a pre teen angst thread.

Thal

PS. I have told my mummy about you

[prometheus]

I'm sick of you people putting me down because I'm 11 years old. Just because I'm younger then you all doesen't mean I can't act mature.

Actually it does. This may sound kind of lame, but being 11 means to be immature. Now, you are probably very mature for an 11 years old, but that's besides the point.

My long post was not for a person aged 11 more about someone aged 16-18.

The average female takes to the age of 25 to really grow up these days. And some of the males never grow up.

No, seriously. I would advice an 11 year old to stay away from romance. I think 11 year old people are definitely too young to even know what love it. It took me to age 19. And I was pretty mature for my age. I had more girlfriends before I was ten than anyone else I knew. After I was 10 I thought having girlfriends was too childish,

Haha, no just enjoy still being able to be a child, even if you see yourself as a teenager.

Seriously, you will have several failed relationships before you will have one that will actually work out for a long time. People need to learn how to have close relationships. People make many mistakes.

Even if you are old enough, you probably won't find a girl of your age that is old enough. I also recommend against having a girlfriend that is significantly older( or younger). Just wait until you are older.

And don't take offence. You are actually 11. Being an eleven year old is not an insult. We all were eleven at some points in our lives. It's not that bad.

[Mozartian]

---

[debussy symbolism]

Whilsts still on that, "Imbetterthenyou," love is a tricky thing. You might think that you like someone, but when you get to know them better you will find out that they aren't that great at all. Love clouds judgement and makes an ordinary ass(donkey) look like a most divine of beings. Just look at how Titania fell for a man with a donkey head. Sorry to be referring to Shakespeare, but if there is a good analogy to love than this play is it.

Take it easy.