How are you doing right now ?

[m19834]

 

I am feeling some new, deeper wave of inspiration wash over me.  It's nice .


*prepares for early mornings again*

[morningstar]

I am waking up slowly.

[pianochick93]

I'm happy, because I have a job interview on Saturday, but I'm also procrastinating - I have an essay due tomorrow and it needs to be finished!

[thalbergmad]

but I'm also procrastinating

So am I.

Try Milk of Magnesia, it works for me.

Thal

[pianochick93]

Well I finished! It's going through the first proof-reader (mum) before being subjected to my friend who is a grammar whiz. My sentence structure is really bad apparently, which is why I screen out my typos and contractions through mum so he doens't get too exasperated with my writing.

[morningstar]

I am enjoying being unburdened by parents for the next 8 days.

[pianochick93]

Cool!

I'm not looking forward to going to dads for the next 3 days...

[G.W.K]

I am bored out of my skull! I've got nothing to do and I'm loaded with the cold. Just my luck!

*SIGHS*

G.W.K

[thalbergmad]

doens't

??

[ahinton]

??

At least she seeks to include apostrophes when appropriate, mis-spellings notwithstanding...

Best,

Alistair

[pianochick93]

??

Oops.

[rob_the_dude]

I'm reading this thread 

(Note the apostrophe Alistair!)

[pianochick93]

I'm happy, I've just got new dance shoes!

[pianochick93]

Now I'm slightly frustrated, but also slightly flattered. I've just broken up with one guy, and now another one is chasing me and paying me compliments. It's...odd.

[pianoplayer88]

I am tired and upset.

Tired because I've been waking up way too early in the mornings.

Upset because yesterday at a birthday party, a really good friend of mine had to go to the hospital, because he sprained his ankle really bad. He went to the hospital because we didn't know if it was broken or just sprained, and he started hyperventilating. I thought he was going to pass out.
And the birthday party was for his younger brother. So that completely ruined it for him.

[concerto_love]

My teacher laugh at me because I can't sight read 3 flat or more... T__T I'm okay if they're (sharp and flat) less than three, but... T.T ow, whatever...

[cai hong]

been down lately

[morningstar]

I am rather excited and yet bored.
Excited about an interview for an appreticeship this afternoon.
Bored because I am at TAFE.

[concerto_love]

Very happy because I'll get a new teacher next year  ! Well... I'm getting serious now...

[db05]

My head aches...

[cherub_rocker1979]

I'm drinking some orange spice tea and thinking about the rehearsal I have tomorrow with my trio.  The trio consists of classical clarinet, baroque viola, and fortepiano.  I'm playing on a replica of a 1780s Walter piano, which is a very appropriate instrument for the Mozart trio that we're playing.

This is what the instrument I'm using looks/sounds like:
https://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMUb9nqnk8o

[dnephi]

Feeling yuck after drinking a ton of sugar-free pop and some protein bars. 

[morningstar]

Feeling happy at the prospect of getting this traineeship

[dnephi]

Runners high =

[communist]

fine thank you, how about you?

[m1469]

fine thank you, how about you?

Pretty well, thanks .  I'm happy you are fine .  

I'm thinking about memory and rooms and such.  And, I wonder if pieces of music can be like surpressed memories?  Maybe a person can relate them to a specific time or event in their life and, depending on that situation, perhaps it gets somehow surpressed?  But, somewhere underneath everything else, it's still just as clear as can be?  What if all of the pieces I've learned are just surpressed memories that could just kind of resurface again?  And, what if when they resurfaced again, I went back in time and taught them to my little tiny self?  I think I can do that, you know, I've already done things like that in bits over the past couple of years.  And, what if then my life felt so much different, that my whole understanding changed today because of that?  It could happen, you know.  Life isn't just a straight line and neither is time.  I remember clear as day exactly what it felt like to be a child playing the piano, and she's often so, so hungry, and it's like I've been her mommy all this time.  It's like she's just been hiding in there and now life is a little different and I can give her foods.  As her mommy, I watched a YouTube about a month ago about a child prodigy girl, and even though at first it was scary, it triggered something very important.  Similar things happened with other videos, too, but it became more than I could handle.  But, maybe I can better handle it now, because my whole posture at the piano had to change as a result, and it had to grow into something else that would support a bigger idea.  I've just been test-driving it for about a month now.

Also, since you asked, I'm a little sad that I can't find any of my "what if?" threads ...  

[Bob]

Communist should reply in two more years.

I was confused, but it looks like this thread won out even though it's newer.
https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php?topic=34076.0


I wish Nils would tell us when he deletes threads.  Things just disappear.

[m1469]

I was confused, but it looks like this thread won out even though it's newer.

Yes, I wish that thread a great, happy and long life.   I really do.  In the meantime, I will enjoy this cozy, more intimate thread.  It's similar to a smaller classroom size, it's just more personal and caring.

Well, I still am not out from under the blankets yet; I fell back to sleep until my hand started dreaming it was playing the piano and moved around on my knee in real life -- it woke me back up again.

*coffee please*  

[m1469]

One time, not very long ago (a couple of months?), I had a nice meeting with Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Rachmaninov and Chopin.  Even though I couldn't see them or actually hear their voices, it's like they were there in the room with me, and something they told me is that they know so much more now.  All the music we know are just baby steps, though still great, of course.  And, once in a while, when I'm sitting at the piano playing, I feel a strange kind of wind or so.

I think that music is like this line between dimensions, and it actually does become smooshy at some point, and it's like there is a cross between the dimensions.  It's like, as a human being, you just work with the text and the instrument for awhile, and it seems like this hard and immovable thing, but then sometimes (and this has been certain times in performance for me) it becomes something else.  Like something I once wrote about in my old "What if?" thread ( ).  It's like it's a statue at first, and then at a certain point it becomes clay (I wish I could remember how that went  ) and suddenly it becomes moveable and mallable again.  That's when there is this smooshiness between dimensions.

And, I think music is truly like surpressed memories.  I think it's like that in general, like we can feel the whole body of music at once through eternity, even things we've never known we've played, have never consciously heard from the past and present, and then even stuff that hasn't been written yet (or so it seems).  But, also very specifically.  When I learned the Mozart Fantasy and Sonata in c minor, yes, I had to work at it, but upon viewing into it, it's as though I were remembering it rather than learning it.  Perhaps that's a state of mind.

Bye!  I'm supposed to be Fiordiligi at the moment, but I feel torn and so I am paralyzed instead of being anything.  Soon I will be her though.

[littletune]

I wish I didn't have to stop practicing piano today!! But I had to cause I'm not supposed to play after 8 pm, because of the neighbours  And I always like practicing piano, but today was even more great than usually... I'm not sure why  but I just wanted to keep practicing!! Oh well... I'll just go practice tomorrow when I wake up again..... I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[m1469]

Something pretty fun happened today at Opera rehearsal.  Most people had shown up but not everybody yet, and so people were just kind of sitting around and the piano was just staring at me and magnetized me to it.  So, I decided to go ahead and sit down and play, and it wasn't an actual performance because people were still talking for most of the time (they all hushed at one point  ), but they still heard and were surprised .  And, one woman who actually knows piano quite well, came over surprised and asked if I were giving concerts and was wondering who I was studying with (I think that's particularly funny because I've told her just a week ago and she didn't really pay attention, apparently, until today  ).  hmmmm  .  I love this mostly because I've struggled so much with issues regarding this, and these were all people who normally see me only as a vocalist.  Today is the first time I've ever felt like a handful of these people can actually start to understand why I *have* to play the piano still, despite my voice.

Well, tomorrow I am going to live my dream life for a day, and next Friday I will, as well.  I am deciding that two days is better than none.  Even one is better than none.

[littletune]

I feel weird now  I'm not sure why  But I did practice piano a lot so that was cool!!   

[pianissimo123]

"feeling kind of sad and disappointed. wondering if I did anything wrong. Wishing I was her friend again...waiting for a next time..." - The music teacher's daughter~

[thalbergmad]

For one terrible minute i thought...............

Don't even think about it Thal.

Thal

[ahinton]

For one terrible minute i thought...............

Don't even think about it Thal.

But you don't have to, do you?! - the "123" gives it away, n'est-ce pas?

Best,

Alistair

[m1469]

I slept for a good 10 hours last night, which I can't even remember doing ever before in my life.  I did have a dream about driving off a cliff, but as I was falling, I was surrounded by a loving presence and I never hit the rocks and eventually didn't feel afraid.

My life is becoming _______ (I don't have a word for it), it seems, at the time.  I welcome it.

[thalbergmad]

I did have a dream about driving off a cliff

I used to have lots of those when I owned an Esprit.

Thal

[m1469]

Wake.  I say, awake.  In a thousand ways awake --
From the sleeplike days of dull sound and drab color,
from the shapeless heart of a loveless ear.
From Centuries I've come to you to say to you, awake.

[go12_3]

Kind of down about some things, having a lot fewer piano students, but they do
seem to come each week for lessons.  Got 3 new beginners now. 
My sinus keeps bothering me yesterday morning and this morning   
I used to not have problems with that.  Been exercising  a lot more and feel
physically good.   

[m1469]

What in the WORLD!?  I've been *seriously* digesting years-worth of stuff (something I've realized is that I've been keeping LOTS of stuff in for MANY years)!  Where'd I go?  How'd m1469 get here?  It's okay .  I can hardly comprehend my life right now!  I don't even know how it turned into what it is.  In some ways it's *A.*M.*A.*Z.*I.*N.*G.* -- in some ways it's crazy!

Kind of down about some things, having a lot fewer piano students, but they do
seem to come each week for lessons.  Got 3 new beginners now.  
My sinus keeps bothering me yesterday morning and this morning  
I used to not have problems with that.  Been exercising  a lot more and feel
physically good.  

Hi, Go, good to see you again!  I noticed you came back, but I was in some other world.  You know, I'm actually slightly jealous of your situation.  My husband lost his job of 12 years last Spring, we're in an upsidedown house, and at this point I have more students than I've ever had (because I've felt like I need to do that) and it's a little crazy.  A couple of weeks ago I nearly had a bit of a breakdown while I was teaching (for the first time ever) and I had to *seriously* calm myself down and focus.  It stemmed from the fact that I wanted badly to be staying at the piano and for several weeks in a row now, this student can barely name the white notes on the piano (and I had a few hours of that same sort of thing lined up, and then a few hours more of more managable teaching after that).  I badly, BURNINGLY wish I could spend the kind of time it seems you have right now studying ... studying ... studying ... and exercising, sure.  It's great that you are having some time for your drawing and painting, too!  Sometimes I'm seriously considering what seems like crazy stuff ... like leaving the house, moving ... etc.  

All I can think about is playing the piano -- even when I'm supposed to be thinking about other things.  I want to build my life around it even more than it is already built around it.  And, sometimes I think about singing .

(DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME *shakes fist in air* I. HAVE. TO. PLAY. THE. PIANO!!!!!)

I know, it can be a bit stressful to feel like you don't have enough students ... but, are you mainly scared of losing the ones you've got (as in, you have the least you can have to still make ends meet)?  Anyway, why not teach violin and maybe give some art lessons, too?  Hmmm ?  Advertise on Craigslist.

[Bob]

*Bob hands the m1469 a chill pill.*

[m1469]

*m1469 devours Bob*

[m1469]

Sorry, Bob.  I didn't mean to devour you.

*burps Bob back up*

You got in my path and it just sort of happened.  I'm sure you understand 

[pianowolfi]

 A couple of weeks ago I nearly had a bit of a breakdown while I was teaching (for the first time ever) and I had to *seriously* calm myself down and focus.  It stemmed from the fact that I wanted badly to be staying at the piano and for several weeks in a row now, this student can barely name the white notes on the piano (and I had a few hours of that same sort of thing lined up, and then a few hours more of more managable teaching after that).  I badly, BURNINGLY wish I could spend the kind of time it seems you have right now studying ... studying ... studying ... and exercising, sure.  It's great that you are having some time for your drawing and painting, too!  Sometimes I'm seriously considering what seems like crazy stuff ... like leaving the house, moving ... etc.  

(DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME *shakes fist in air* I. HAVE. TO. PLAY. THE. PIANO!!!!!)

Haha that's me, in a sort of way. LOL.
I wish I could move to a convent. Or a castle in the deep forest of St.I don't knowwhere, because actually I have to do years and years of work to accomplish my 4 and a bit more Programs of composing 'n stuff. Of course it's not about the castle. A little studio where I can play 24/7, and sing and scream, would do it as well

And far away from women! That's important I tend to get all distracted and messed up through relationship issues...

And I would need internet access limitation....

But then, how to make a living? I surely won't send my students away..... I love them, too...

oh well...

[go12_3]

Hello m1469,  
When you mentioned about teaching violin, I do teach violin to one of my piano
students.  I did the craigslist and mostly I got was spam mail...and weird
phone calls.  So I got a bit nervous about that.  I'll be attending a Christmas program
rehearsal next Friday for violin students, so I'll be mingling with students and teachers.
I haven't been around the Suzuki group of teachers for a while.  Some do know me from
my days of being a student and attending the Suzuki Institute in the Summer.   Anyhow,
hopefully things will work out.  There is a piano teacher that is "booked-up" and will refer me.
 

[Bob]

*Bob hands the m1469 a breath mint.*

[m1469]

Haha that's me, in a sort of way. LOL.
I wish I could move to a convent. Or a castle in the deep forest of St.I don't knowwhere, because actually I have to do years and years of work to accomplish my 4 and a bit more Programs of composing 'n stuff. Of course it's not about the castle. A little studio where I can play 24/7, and sing and scream, would do it as well

And far away from women! That's important I tend to get all distracted and messed up through relationship issues...

And I would need internet access limitation....

But then, how to make a living? I surely won't send my students away..... I love them, too...

oh well...

For me, it's all about the castle  .  That's a joke, actually.  It's all about the haven  .  I could never stay away from men forever ... hee hee.  And, just to be clear, I don't wish to send my students away.  Especially not some who I actually quite look forward to seeing and teaching during each week.  They don't maybe realize that they make a positive difference my life, too!

*Bob hands the m1469 a breath mint.*

*savors breath mint*

Bob, I know that one might suspect I could need a breath mint after devouring you and burping you back up, but you must be such a nice person to give me anything at all after I did that to you!  Thank you .

[m1469]

Okay, Okay, I get it, I get.  There's all this blackness all around us, we're on this crazy sphere just hangin' out, circling the sun.  We believe and (because of that) experience our existence as a human timeline, where we're born, we exist, we do things or don't, there's success, there's failures, there's beauty, there's ugliness ... yadda yadda ... and then it appears we die.  We think in a hunch that maybe there's more, maybe there's not.  There's all of these cultures and factions of belief, they're important, yes, for awhile, and then at some point we're all just human.  We think maybe there's life on other planets, or at least some of us do, but who knows?  Maybe there's a God, maybe not?  Maybe heaven, maybe hell?  Some people lived before us, some people will live after us.  Every day's a mystery and our existence an enigma.  Okay, okay.  But, now what?

Guess I'll go about practicing ... and cleaning the house and teaching today and rehearsal tonight.  Please be some poetry today!  Please!

[littletune]

Time isn't really just time... we just think it's just time because we're stuck in it. But if we could look at it from somewhere else outside of it, it wouldn't be like time anymore but it would be like space. So maybe when we die we're just not stuck in time anymore but we can move through it just like we are moving through space! but maybe we get another time then  i think maybe we always have to have something that's like time...

[thalbergmad]

Apart from an itchy arse, I am doing fine.

Thal